The Mating Connection
by WitchyVampireGirl
Summary: Here is my fluffly little twist on the whole electrical charge that Edward and Bella feel. What if it really meant something else, something deeper? Would Edward be able to do what he needs to make sure Bella stays his forever? AU
1. Prologue

**A/N: Ok.. I wasn't expecting to be starting another story while I was in the middle of Hidden Moon (check it out if you haven't yet!), but I got the idea for this story and spent all weekend long on it. With that said, Hidden Moon is my priority right now, but I promise that I won't completely forget about this one. It just means I may not update a frequently. There is no beta so please excuse the errors and typos. This is just a fun little story. It is fluffy and has the potential for lemons in the future.**

**I do not own Twilight, but for this story, I am having my wicked way with them!**

Prologue

Love is the ultimate prize, isn't it? To give of yourself completely and to find that other person that fits you just right. For most people, they cycle through one person after another. They engage in meaningless sex and doomed relationships. Do they even understand the utter joy that can accompany finding that special person? From what I have seen and heard in my hundred and nine years of existing is that most people are clueless. They wouldn't know love if it came right up and introduced its self.

That's not to say that I do have a clue, I don't. But it's for entirely different reasons. I have lived with my family first as a third wheel, then the fifth and now the seventh. It's not an easy existence. I have watched them engage in the mating connection and find that sense of oneness. It's something I yearned for, a lot.

You know the funny thing about that? I should have been more careful what I wished for, or maybe a bit more specific. As it was the fates delivered something to me that was so fragile and precious, I had no clue what to do with it. To add to the pressure of it all- it became a family affair.

**A/N: If you would care to review..I would be honored...**


	2. Ch 1

**A/N: I know.. another chapter.. when I started writing..I kinda got on a roll..don't worry..it won't happen very often! ;)**

**Ohh how I wish I owned this, then I would not be forced to write this disclaimer.**

Chapter 1

I wasn't sure if I should be happy or sad to be going home. I had been away for close to a year and while I missed my family terribly, I still felt the same as when I left, lonely, sad, depressed and closed off. I left three sets of perfectly matched couples and I am coming home to the same. I had hoped when I did come home it would be with my other half. Instead I came home with a suitcase full of gifts which are no consolation when I find myself alone at night, again.

It was thoughts of my family that finally helped me to decide that I should come home. They missed me and I missed them, it was just that simple. So, when Esme called me a week ago to talk, I gave in when she asked me to finally come home.

"We all miss you, Edward." Her voice was soft, but I could hear the longing in it.

"I know, Mom. I feel the same. It's just, well… I wonder if I shouldn't continue the search." I tried to mask the sadness, but she knew me too well.

"Come home, finish your senior year and then we will all leave to go someplace else. You know there is an old saying that fits. Want to hear some wisdom?" The hopefulness that was thick in her voice was undeniable.

"Sure, what do they say?" I hoped she could hear the smile.

"You find what you're looking for when you least expect it. Just take a break and spend time with us. Please." Esme may have the kindest heart among us all, but she wasn't opposed to using a little underhanded tactics to get what she wanted.

"Ok, fine, you win. I will come home. Let me tie up some loose ends and I will be home within the week. I'll let you know my plans when I make them." Her excitement over my declaration was worth the fact that I had failed to accomplish my goal.

Now as I sit in the airplane, getting closer to home, I could not help but wonder why I failed at my task. It seemed so simple; I wanted to find a mate. I knew that there was no way I would find it where I lived; a rainy and small town called Forks, Washington. So I set out to travel the world, looking for others of my kind in the hopes that I would find my mate. I traveled everywhere; England, France, Romania, Russia, Spain, Ireland, Scotland, Austria, Greece, Egypt. You name it, I was there. It was fascinating to experience the different cultures and languages. Even sampling the local cuisine was interesting. Of course, nothing compares to the large mountain lions that I loved to hunt in my home state.

I met several fascinating vampires and a few remarkable humans. But not once did I ever feel the pull of the mating connection. That's not what it's really called, but it's how I define what I witness between my family members. It was the only word that could encompass what happens when a vampire finds their mate. I had the added benefit of knowing their thoughts when it happened, the desire to be with that person, the feeling of being drawn to them. There was an electric connection that sang throughout their bodies and the absolute need to be with that person. It's an amazing thing to observe and I was lucky to see it happen twice.

The first was with my creator and father for lack of a better word, Carlisle, and Esme, the woman who is my mother and his wife. Although they meet when Esme was a young girl, it was several years later and when Esme had attempted suicide and was near death's door, that Carlisle saved her. He changed her right then and there. As she burned through the fires of transformation, I watched how he was drawn to her, even then. For three days he would replay that short time they spent together when she was sixteen and she broke her leg. Back then he found her sweet, kind and tender. Since the day she awoke as a vampire, it's always been the two of them.

The next couple was Rosalie and Emmett. Now, at first Carlisle hoped Rose would be my mate when he decided to change her. I still laugh at that idea. She is a conceited, vain and arrogant woman. Plus she's a blond, not at all what I prefer. She carries an immense amount of personal baggage from her human life, not that I can blame her, but still, it's more than I care to deal with. The positive side to her was that she found Emmett and brought him into our family. While out hunting she found him mortally wounded and ran him to Carlisle. She begged for him to change Emmett. When he woke up, I witnessed again, the immediate connection between the two of them. Even to this day, they share a very intense physical love and relationship. I should know, I hear it every night.

A few decades later, Alice and Jasper found our family as an already bonded couple. But through their memories and thoughts, I get to see just how much they love and care for each other. When they tell their story, I see how strong the immediate connection was for them.

So here I am the lone vampire in a house full of happy couples. Most days I can deal with it. I mean I have been on my own since 1918. But lately I have felt the need for a mate. There is a sense of incompleteness that has been weighing on me, heavily. I no longer feel satisfied in my solitude. I ache to share my life, my past and my future with someone. It goes even deeper than that, I want to feel connected to that special person. To be able to experience love and intimacy on such a personal, deeper level that I can feel it in my bones. I mean, is that too much to ask for? I didn't think so when I started my journey, now I am beginning to think it is.

So intense was this longing that I was starting to get jealous of the humans around me. While they may flit from relationship to relationship, they at least get a chance for a fleeting moment of connectedness. Even if what they feel is nowhere as close and intense as the bond between mates, they feel something. That is what I wish I could experience. It was something I feared I would never get to be a part of. It was that fear that drove me to search. Maybe it was irrational, but it was beginning to consume me.

If I was even more honest with myself, there was more. I was feeling depressed and even angry about my loneliness. It was hard to watch and listen to the others as they lived with their mates and the completeness it gave them. Doubt, grief, sadness were constant companions within my head, that it was hard not to feel that I would never be mated. Then one night while laying out in my meadow, to get away from all the nightly mating activities, it dawned on me that I was never going to find my mate just staying where I was. I could not expect her to fall from the sky and land in my lap with a giant bow wrapped around her. Life does not work that way. I wish it did, it would be so easy. But mine was not an existence of ease, far from it. So that night I stayed in my meadow contemplating my life and my desire for a mate. It was then and there that I made the decision to travel the world.

Now, almost a year later, I am no closer to finding a mate than I was that night in the meadow. To make matters worse, I was still uncertain how I felt being back home. Part of me felt like a failure, that maybe there was something unlovable about me. Maybe I was missing something that would allow me to be mated. Was it possible that I was changed too early? I knew this was a fear and concern echoed in both of my parents minds. The other half of me wanted to give up, wave the white flag, throw in the towel and embrace my solitude. It sounded like a painful way to live. But what other choice did I have?

As I walked down the terminal I could already hear the thoughts of my family and it was a bit overwhelming.

There were my parent's ecstatic and slightly worried thoughts. _I missed him so much. It is nice to have everyone home. I hope he does not feel too discouraged with his travels. Maybe we should talk? _Carlisle worried too much about me. But I guess it is to be expected. I was the first person he turned and we had formed a strong bond when it was just us.

_Aww poor Eddie, struck out with the foreign chicks. He's never gonna get laid. I feel sorry for him. _Emmett was a prick and he knew it. He knew I would be listening and didn't even try to censor his thoughts. Still, I wouldn't trade him for any other brother, just don't tell him that.

_It will be nice to have him back. I just hope he's in a better frame of mind. It was hard being around him when he left and I'd hate for it to be like that again. _I winced at Jasper's thoughts. I never meant for my moods to hurt him that much. It's hard living with an empath, especially when emotions are running high. I guess when I was feeling down, I forgot just how hard that would be on him. I made a mental note to tell him sorry.

_Ugh, Emo Edward is back. How fun will this be? Maybe Em and I can take our vacation sooner, to get away from all his angst. _True to pure Rosalie form, she's all about herself. If I was any less of a man, I wouldn't hesitate to take her down a notch or two.

_Ohh Edward! I am so happy your back. I did not want to do senior year by myself. It will be so much better with you there. I promise this will be a great year for you. _Just as rapidly as she said all that her mind was filled with eighty's pop songs, she was keeping something from me. I will have to talk to her later about what's she hiding.

When I made it to my family I was wrapped in several embraces and greetings. It felt nice to be home. Alice linked her arm with mine and began the barrage of questions. Who did I meet, what did I do, how was the hunting and her favorite was, how was the shopping. The whole ride home I told stories of the vampires I met. Most of which were old friends of Carlisle. Emmett and Jasper thoroughly questioned me all about what I ate. They were intrigued by the jaguars in Brazil and the lion I hunted in Africa for the thrill. Esme questioned me about how I was doing and feeling. She seemed appeased by my honest answers.

Back in Forks and in our house, I felt calm for the first time in weeks. The last month or so not only was I missing my family, but I was feeling restless and bored. The traveling had lost its appeal months ago and the journey to find a mate was more depressing than exhilarating. I longed for familiarity and comfort, both of which I could find here in this house.

Alice had already unpacked my clothing, deeming that most were no longer suitable for wearing. The few articles of clothing I grew attached to, she took to be washed. That only left the large suitcase full of gifts. I opened it up and began to distribute them. This is was what I looked forward to most, seeing how everyone liked their gifts.

Rose was first, she would be the least impressed so I'd rather get her out of the way. I bought several pieces of jewelry, most were precious stones native to the area I was in at that time. In Paris I bought both her and Alice several yards of fabric. I knew how they liked to create clothing and this was the latest in silk. Alice squealed when she saw it. Even Rose managed to give me a soft smile. I also gave jewelry to Alice, but not nearly as much, she was much more into clothes.

For Emmett I found several wildlife guides in several of the countries I visited. They were mostly geared towards human hunters, but I thought Emmett would appreciate seeing and reading about what I hunted. For Jasper I found several books pertaining to the great battles of Europe. They were several volumes that encompassed everything from early 16th and 17th century battles all the way up to World War II. He was engrossed in it before I left his study.

Carlisle had to leave for work as soon as we got back, so I left the vampire mythology books I found on his desk. He was an avid collector of our myths. He felt that every myth had a kernel of truth to it. So I knew he would enjoy them immensely. Esme was easiest of them all; she was an enthusiastic collector of sculptures and native art. Her gifts were the reason why I needed such a large suitcase. I brought her up to my room to help me unload the packages I had. There were a few native ceremonial masks from Africa, a sculpture from Spain and a water color that I admired from Ireland. Minutes after they were unpacked, we had found them places within the house.

With the gifts done, I put on some music and went to lie down on my couch. I missed my music collection. It was an extension of me. You can always tell what mood I am in by whatever I am playing. Like right now, there is soft classical playing. It's soothing and relaxing and it keeps me mellow.

A few hours later, Alice bounded into my room. Her bouncing personality vibrated throughout the room. It was hard not to feel just a sliver of the excitement that was oozing out her pores. She fell into my lap and I wrapped my arms around her and gave her an affectionate squeeze.

"Missed you dear brother. Want to go hunting later?" There was something else going on, she was back to singing pop songs.

I smiled at her, "If you promise to stop singing the drivel that's in your head, I am in. I missed you as well. It's nice to be back." It was an honest statement. It was the only one that I could make at that time as I was still undecided how I felt about being home. I guess I knew now. I was going to ask if she wanted to invite Jazz and Em, but her internal thoughts stopped me.

_Can it just be the two of tonight? There are things I want to talk to you about and I think you would prefer it stay between just the two of us. _I nodded. If we need to talk, I prefer just the two of us. She messed up my hair and kissed my cheek before she bounded out of my room with a smile on her face. It was easy to make her happy.

Carlisle stopped in later that night after he got back from the hospital. He was excited to see the books and we began to discuss some of my travels. We did not delve into the heavy stuff, I was not ready for it and he knew it. I mainly helped him get caught up on some of his friends that I ran into. He liked hearing that they were doing well and welcomed me into their homes and covens.

_It's nice to have you back, son. We have all missed you. I know you may not be ready to talk, but I want you to know that I am here for you. _The intense sincerity was written on his face. I knew deep in my gut that I could trust Carlisle with any part of me, even the darkest parts about my past. I nodded my head to let him know I understood. Soon I would need to process all that was in my head, but now I just wanted to enjoy being home and with my family.

Around midnight Alice told me to get ready to leave. I changed into an older pair of jeans, a long sleeve shirt and a pair of sneakers. Seconds later, Alice entered my room and we left through my window. It was one way to let our family know we wanted to be alone without the hassle of why.

It was freeing to be running in familiar terrain. I let myself go and just ran. I loved the feel of the wind and the freedom that came with letting go. It was easy to feel encased in my own little private world and let my mind wander. Tonight I just wanted to run. I let the earth fly under my feet, breathed deeply the rich aromas of the forest and allowed my instincts to search for my prey. It didn't take long for me to find what I wanted most of all, mountain lion.

There were two a mile to the east of me. I switched directions and headed over to them. They were prowling the rocky area in search of a snack. I heard the soft rustle of a rabbit and knew that's what they were tracking. I ghosted towards them, in the hopes that they were close together so I could take them both down. A few minutes later I got my wish as they converged on the poor rabbit. In a lightning quick motion I snapped both of their necks and drank greedily. The blood was warm, rich and soothing. Yes, it was nice to be home.

I found the familiar outcrop of rocks and waited for Alice to come back. Next to Carlisle, I missed her the most. Our abilities make it hard for others to deal with us and so it made sense for us to gravitate towards each other. Yet, beyond that, there was a deep affection and friendship. If I could pick what I wanted in a sibling, I would pick Alice. We balanced each other out. She had enough exuberance for me, especially if I was in one of my moods. I missed these late night hunts and talks. We carried a lot of the weight of our family, their secrets, desires and futures. We were luck y that our family trusted us to do what was right and fair.

I heard her approaching seconds before she gracefully sank down beside me. She gently placed her head on my shoulder and we sat like this for a few minutes. It was pleasant and comforting.

"So what's been buzzing in that pretty little head of yours?" I ruffled her spiky hair. She playfully swatted my hand away.

I watched as she replayed what it was like at home when I left. Part of me was saddened to see how quiet they all seemed. Before I left I felt as if the only place I had in the family was as their mind reader, their look out. It was my job to determine if we were at risk of being discovered which would allow us to make a quick exit before suspicions were confirmed. The odd man out feeling left me out of sorts and out of place. I guess if I ever needed proof if we really were a family, I had it. While I may be feeling lost and lonely, my family still felt my loss and mourned it.

"Thanks for that Al, I needed to know that."

"We knew why you had to leave, but at the same time we wished you didn't. But I think you will find what you are looking for." There was a hint of uncertainty in her voice, like she was not completely convinced of what she was saying.

"Care to elaborate on that?" I tried my best to keep my tone calm and patient when I was feeling anything but that.

She let out a long unnecessary sigh. "It's hard, I am not sure if I can."

"Why don't you show me and we can try to piece it together?" This time there would be no mistaking my consternation.

"That's it; there are no definite visions, just vague shapes and impressions. It's only a gut feeling that they have to do with you. But right now everything is up in the air and all I know is that this is where you need to be." I could hear the frustration in her voice. She did not like when her visions were less than clear. I had to remind myself this was just as hard on her as it was on me.

"What makes you think it has to do with me?"

"You are barely recognizable in what I can see, the rest is just blurry shapes and shadows." She tried to show them to me, but I couldn't make anything out. She was right, there was too much up in the air.

"So, what do you suggest that I do?"

"Hang tight and let it play out. Maybe as decisions are made, it will get clearer."

I mulled that over as we ran back to the house. Could I just go back to who I was and have a little faith? Or was I too jaded and unable to let go of what I wanted? I guess the more important question was, what could I live with and still have some semblance of happiness. I knew that for now the answer was to be with my family and just enjoy them. I went to turn and to talk to Alice when we were both slammed with her brief vision.

We came to a sudden halt as we watched it play out. It lasted only a few seconds and it had little substance, but I was easily identified. In her vision I was standing before someone else, their features were indistinguishable, but it was clearly a girl as there was long hair. Now I know you're going to say that guys have long hair, which is true, but there was more to the vision to suggest it was a girl. I was gently cupping the face of this person. So I sure hope it was a girl and not a boy. I mean I am attracted to girls.

I threw a puzzled look at Alice in the hopes that she could make sense of the vision.

"I am not sure what that was, but it was the clearest vision I have had about you in a while. What were you thinking before the vision?" We both knew that her visions were influenced by the choices that are made.

I was thinking that I was going to try and make the best with being at home and try to let things go."

"Well, then, it seems that was proof that you made the right choice."

**A/N: I hope you liked it soo much you will review. If you didn't like..I still hope you review!**


	3. Ch 2

**A/N: I fear I may spoil you with this many updates..I hope that is not the case. Let's see what 's in store for Edward...**

***sigh* I do not own Twilight or its characters, what I do own is all the books and my computer.**

Chapter 2

The last few weeks of summer flew by and before I knew it and school would be starting in a few days. It was one of the best summers that I had ever had. I rediscovered the connections that I had forged with my family members. I was ashamed that I let them drop to the wayside. I tried my best to live in the moment and enjoy it. It seemed like such a silly concept for a vampire, especially when we have an endless amount of time stretched in front of us. Yet in all honesty, I felt as if I was too wrapped up in how I thought things should be and forgot to enjoy what was really happening.

I allowed myself to be sucked into Emmett's latest video game obsession. It was the one way for us to be on a level playing field, especially if we played with others online. I found it enjoyable, but what I really liked was watching the faces that he made. Although he did not need to, he would weave and bob with his character, he would get extremely pissed when he died and loved to create havoc when playing online. He was highly amusing and I forgot about that part of him.

We even spent more time hunting. Instead of getting irritated with his constant need to play with his food, I joined him when he found a grizzly just to get it stirred up some more. We even spent time on the ATV's racing and getting dirty. I forgot how easy it was to be around Emmett.

What made Emmett even happier was that I spent time with Rose. It wasn't a huge amount of time, but it was more than I ever spent with her prior to leaving. Together we would tune up the cars and made plans for some modifications she wanted to make on some of the cars. We even spent a day in Seattle doing some test driving of new models of Volvos and Mercedes. While I liked the car I had, we both knew that Carlisle could use an upgrade. We did not talk much, but we rarely did before.

I helped Esme in the garden and even went with her to the shelter in Portland to deliver the food and clothing we did not need. As we worked we would talk about anything and everything. She never pushed if I was unwilling to talk about something; she just calmly redirected us to another topic. I helped her do research on a remodeling project of an older Victorian house in Oregon. It was her latest client and they were extremely picky. The stories she would tell of the meetings she would have and phone conversations had me laughing. It may go unnoticed, but Esme has a quick wit.

Jasper and I spent the majority of the summer debating. You name it; we debated it forwards, backwards, sideways and upside down. We were evenly matched and it was nice to flex my brain with someone other than Carlisle. Often it would get so heated Esme would make us take it outside in case it turned into a physical issue. It rarely did, but we were very passionate when we argued and it tended to get loud and intense. Even better were the times when Carlisle would join in and plays devil's advocate.

Some nights I went to work with Carlisle. It was nice to put my two medical degrees to work. It would be too suspicious if I went on rounds with him, so I helped in the lab and with research. We would talk about his patients and possible diagnosis and treatments. It gave me a chance to brush up on topics I was less familiar with and just spend time with my father.

He seldom pushed me to open up about why I left and for that I was grateful. I was undecided why I was hesitating. I knew that Carlisle would never judge or criticize me or my actions. It wasn't that I didn't trust him with my fears and concerns, I did. I think I wasn't ready to really delve into what was really bothering me. A part of me was hoping I could ignore it and it would go away. Logically I know that will never happen but it didn't hurt to try.

In all, it was a great summer. I was a bit bummed about the fact that it would only be Alice and I in school. But maybe it would be better that way. Emmett and Rosalie were planning on taking another honeymoon like vacation. They were using the hunting guide I got for Emmett to plan where to go and what to try and hunt. Em was all gun ho to hunt an anaconda, Rosalie was less than thrilled at the idea.

A few days before school, I went with Alice to Seattle to shop for school clothes. I know, it's not something I normally do, but Alice declared my wardrobe out of date and chucked it all. I promised the annoying little pixie that she could pick out all my clothes but I got free reign on my shoes. It was an uneasy compromise in her eyes, but sometimes she had no idea what was comfortable for a guy's feet.

Several hours and an obscene amount of money later we were finally done. We were on our way home when Alice was hit with a vision. Just like the one shortly after I got home, it was quick and rather blurry. Again, I was recognizable as was the figure of a girl. I had my arms wrapped around her and I could tell her hair was brown.

"Was it the same girl as from before?" I blurted the question before I could make sense of why it was important for me to know.

"I think so; it was the same feeling as the last vision."

"What does it mean?" Fear and concern was laced in every word, but I did not know why.

"Like I said before, I think this where you are meant to be. I think that whatever is going to happen will be soon. That vision held more detail; we saw the color of her hair. She had more definition to her." Conviction rang loud and clear.

She looked right at me, "Trust me, things are going to get better."

I desperately wanted to believe her, but I had been cynical for far too long, it was hard not to doubt what she was saying. But, this time I was going to try and have some faith in her. Wasn't that what I had learned these last few weeks? I needed to not get caught up in the all the possible outcomes and problems and just let it happen. I need to let it go.

I gave Alice a small nod and a weak smile; it was the most I could offer her. I would try and not dwell on everything. I would put it in the back of my mind and not worry about it. School was starting on Tuesday and that was as far as I was willing to focus into the future.

I spent the last few days before school just relaxing and not worrying. It was nice to just _be, _to be in the moment and seeing what comes. I also decided to talk to Carlisle, to let him in a little. I couldn't carry everything; I didn't want to carry it anymore. It was time I started to lean on my family, it was what they were there for.

We decided to go on an all night hunting trip. We left as soon as Carlisle was done with work on Sunday night and loaded up the cars and headed into Canada. It was fun to spend time with everyone this way, even when Alice and Emmett were constantly arguing over what music to listen to.

"Let me put you both out of your misery, your both wrong. If you want some decent music you need to change the channel." With that said I reached over from the back seat of Emmett's Jeep and changed it to a nice indie rock station.

"Oh, no you don't emo boy. No whinny ass music here." He quickly changed it to some techno crap that made me wish I was deaf. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Whatever, Em. You wouldn't know decent music if it hit you on your ass."

_What's this? Edward got a sense of humor? No angsty, pansy boy? I am surprised._

I tried to give him my best death stare, but he was waggling his eyebrows, looking for a rise. So I flipped him the bird. His sudden eruptive laughter had everyone wondering what was going on between the two of us.

"E, you grew some balls. Welcome to big boy land." With that he changed the channel back to where I had it and that was the end of it.

Two hours later we arrived at a park just outside Vancouver. It was lush and spacious. Plenty of ground for hunting, it was perfect. We ran for about thirty minutes and set up base camp. Once settled we all headed out to hunt for the next few hours.

I stuck close to where Esme and Carlisle were hunting, looking for a chance to talk. I felt nervous and apprehensive and it was hard to shake. I tried to relax and not worry, but this time it was easier said than done. We found a small herd of moose and the three of us ran to take them out. While moose was filling, the taste left something to be desired, most herbivores were less than appealing. Another moose and deer later and I headed back to our camp site. I came across Carlisle's scent and took off to find him, it was now or never.

I found him lounging by a small brook with Esme. I was thankful that they were still clothed. I watched them interact for a just a few moments and a pang of longing filled me. It was tender the way Esme laid her head in his lap and he gently ran his fingers through her hair. They were not talking, they did not need to, their soft touches and caresses said enough. Once again, I wished for my own mate.

_What can I do for you Edward? _It shouldn't surprise me that he knew I was there; we always had a sense for the other.

"I was hoping we could talk, but not if I am intruding." I hesitated, unsure of what to do or where to go.

"No, Edward, come talk to your father." Esme's voice held no malice that I interrupted their couple time. _You need him more than I do right now. _

I threw her a quizzical look, not sure if I understood what she was trying to tell me.

_I know you. You have wanted to talk to him for some time. I am glad you are, you need this, both of you. _Just like that she was gone, the merest rustle of leaves showed her departure. I walked slowly and deliberately toward Carlisle who had moved to lying on his back to star gaze. When I reached him, I sat down next to him and stared at the water. Now I needed to figure out what to say, where to start.

After a few moments of heavy silence, I finally spoke. "I am not sure what to say or where to start. There is so much rattling up in my head." I felt as if I had disappointed him and I wasn't clear on why. I hadn't done anything that would bring attention to the family while I was gone. I maintained my diet flawlessly without any close calls. So, why did I feel as if I was nothing but a huge disappointment to him?

I took a chance and glanced his way to see only love and compassion. "Maybe if I could ask some questions it would make it easier? You don't have to answer them if you don't want to or only answer as much as you are willing." His generosity knows no bounds. I gave him a shaky nod of my head and took a deep breath.

"Can you tell me why you left? What brought you to the point you felt you had to leave?" There was no condemnation or shaming in his words, they were soft and gentle. _I know that's a big question to answer, but it seemed to be the most logical place to begin. Again, answer only as much as you are willing._

I paused to reflect on his question. He was right in that it was the most logical place to start. What was hard was trying to make sense of the mess of emotions that were flying around me. "It was a lot of little things really." I ran my hands through my hair, trying to order my chaotic thoughts.

"The funny thing, it wasn't like something happened that made the choice for me. It was more like I had been thinking about it for quite some time. But one day I had the thought that I was never going to find a mate just hanging around Forks. It wasn't like there was a parade of unmated female vampires coming through every so often. So I figured I had to go beyond where I was."

I tried to listen in on his thoughts, to get an unfiltered glimpse of what he thought as I was talking, but I was met with a block. He was guarding his thoughts, so that we could have an honest talk. He was going to let me say what I wanted, but at the same time, he was allowed to have his own private thoughts about it all.

"Why were you thinking about finding a mate?"

This was a simple one to answer, "I wanted to have what I saw everyday at home." The wistfulness was apparent. "I know that I am loved by everyone, but it is the love of parents and siblings. I wanted the deeper, connected love that you all share with your mates. I wanted to be a part of something like that."

"There is no shame in wanting that. It's natural. It's what set us apart from others of our kind. It tells us that we are still in touch with some part of our humanity."

"It was hard to watch from the outside, some days I felt like an intruder and it was disheartening." I closed my eyes against the well of emotions this was bringing up. I was never more thankful that we are physically unable to cry than I was at that moment. I knew if I could, I couldn't hold back the sobs. As it was, I was trying so hard to keep my shoulders from shaking.

Carlisle was there in a flash and he laid a gentle arm around my shoulders. "It is ok to feel this way. To feel the loss and grief over what you feel is missing in your life. None of us would think less of you. In fact, I think we would all tell you that you are more than worthy and deserving of love."

Just like that, he found the real crux of my issue, I had often worried I was undeserving of love. I worried that my rebellious period had forever ruined my chance of being loved. That somehow it was obvious when you looked at me that I was tainted. I had no more to say, I was too wrapped up in my own grief to say anything more.

"You are a kind and wonderful man, Edward. I know you feel otherwise, that you have done too much wrong. But I am a firm believer that everyone is worthy of love, because it is what we do with that love once we have it that deems our worthiness of it."

The rest of the night I spent in quiet contemplation. I once again found myself wanting to place my hopes in Carlisle. That he possessed the knowledge that would set me free from the prison of guilt I was living in. Was it possible that someone could find it within themselves to love me? My thoughts began the normal downward spiral full of concern, worry and indecision. I fought against them, knowing that it would only lead me to feeling lost and depressed.

The morning rays of light found me still at the creek and I was still struggling with my emotions. I knew we were close to leaving, but I could not find it in me to move. I heard Esme before I saw her sink gracefully down beside me.

"I am not sure what you and Carlisle talked about, but I have no trouble seeing what you are thinking. I want you to listen to me." Her voice was soft, but full of authority. I rolled on my side and gazed at her apprehensively.

"I may not be your biological mother, but I love you like you were my own child. I know you, Edward. I know your heart and your mind. You need to let go of your past. You need to move on. One day, you will find someone to love and she will be the luckiest woman ever. Believe in who you are, not what you think you are."

With that said she stood up and offered her hand to me. I placed my hand in hers and she pulled me into her and the hug I did not realize I needed until that moment.

"Thanks, Mom. I needed that." We met up with the others and made our way home. The next morning I would be back in school. So for tonight I wasn't going to worry. Instead, I went to my piano and I let everything I was feeling out. I played for hours, sometimes fast and furious, other times soft and poignant. By the end I felt calm, at peace even. It was a surreal experience. I got dressed for school and met Alice by my car.

I knew that my sudden appearance back at school would be cause for stares and whispers. The public story was that I spent the previous school year abroad in a special college prep program. Still, I found it all a bit disconcerting and overwhelming. I haven't had to play a role in sometime and I found it a bit tedious. The inane chatter of voices in my head made me wince

_Oh my goodness, it's true, Edward Cullen is back._

_Why couldn't he stay away? Leave me to all the ladies of this school._

_Wow, he is still so fine looking. I must tell Bella about him. But what if he notices her? I doubt it, she is so plain looking. _

I rolled my eyes at Jessica; her voice was still as loud and annoying as ever. I followed Alice into the school and to homeroom, we were lucky that we shared this part of our day. The only other class we shared was gym, which we both hated. My first hour was Calculus and I made my way there as quickly as possible. It was then that I noticed a pleasant scent in the hall that was unfamiliar. It was faint, but I could still detect it. It was floral and sweet. I looked around for the source but saw no one that I was unfamiliar with. I pushed it out of my mind, went to class where I concentrated on Mr. Varner and his lecture on the seriousness of doing well in your senior year.

Second hour was English with Mr. Berty and I was the first to arrive. I glanced at the syllabus on the desk and realized we had a group project for the entire year. As the others students filed in, I ran through several arguments to use with Mr. Berty to make mine a solo project. Just as I settled on the best course of action, the same floral scent I had noticed earlier filled the room. I looked up and saw the most gorgeous pair of chocolate brown eyes I had ever seen.

I breathed deeply, letting the delicious aroma penetrate my nose, my mouth, my mind. I scanned her thoughts and realized I could hear nothing. She was standing next to Angela and I had no trouble hearing her, but the beautiful creature next to her was silent.

I watched as they choose seats next to each other and continued talking. They were catching up with each other as they had not seen each other in a few weeks. Angela had just gotten back from a family vacation and the other girl went to see her mother in Florida. I wondered who this girl was and when she started school. She was not a student when I was pretending to play sophomore, so it was possible she started last year when I was gone.

Angela caught me staring at them and mentioned something to the new girl. "Bella, don't look now, but Edward is staring at you."

I watched as her shoulder stiffened as she whispered back, "Edward who? Where is he?"

Angela leaned in even closer but I could still hear her perfectly. "You did not get to meet him last year as he was gone. He went overseas to some exclusive college prep school. His father is Dr. Cullen, you know him, right?"

Bella nodded vigorously. I saw in Angela's mind the few times she had to take Bella to the hospital for some cut or sprain. Angela seemed to think that Bella was clumsy.

"Anyway, Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted Edward, his sister Alice and the three others. You remember them from last year? They are the ones that are all together." Again, Bella nodded her head.

"Why is he looking at me?" Her voice was soft and gentle, but there was a hint of confusion in it. I switched to Angela's thoughts to see her face. Her eyes were wide and there was a crease between them as if she was trying to figure out some problem. Her lips were a pale pink with the bottom one slightly fuller than the top. Her cheek bones were high and there were the remnants of a blush that gave them the most appealing pink color ever.

Angela opened her mouth to answer her but just then Mr. Berty called the class to order.

"Listen up everyone; we are going to go over your group projects. They are worth sixty percent of your grade, so give it the attention it deserves. I have already assigned you partners and you will sit next to them for the rest of the year."

The room erupted into a buzz of noise. Most of them were protesting the assignment of partners, while others were just bemoaning that there was such a huge project to do. Mr. Berty went across the room assigning partners and their seats.

He stopped where I was already seated and spoke, "Well, you can stay hear Mr. Cullen and welcome Ms. Swan as your partner."

My eyes snapped over to where she was and watched as she looked at me through the long curtain of her hair. Her eyes were full of shock and a full blush spread all over her cheeks. I offered her a small smile. She gathered her stuff and slowly made her way over to where I sat. Mr. Berty continued to make his way through the class and matching up the students.

"Hello, I am Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you." I expected her reaction to my voice; it's the same with most people. Her eyes widened even more and her heart gave a few extra beats.

"I'm Bella, Bella Swan nice to meet you as well." She looked lost for what else to say and so she fiddled with the hem of her shirt.

"Ah, so you must be related to Chief Swan, his daughter?" I calmly questioned. I found myself intrigued by her. Even sitting this close her thoughts were a mystery. But it was more, it was her scent. While mouthwatering, I felt none of the normal bloodlust; instead it was quite calming to me. With her so close, I could detect the subtleties of it, there were hints of lavender and strawberries, but the main scent was freesia. It was perfect. Her skin looked so soft and creamy, she was a stunning woman.

"Yea, he's my dad. I heard you just got back from overseas, right?" With her mind silent to me I watched those eyes and realized how much I could discern from them. Like now, she was surprised by her sudden question, almost like she had no intention of asking it. A blush colored her cheeks and she started to bite her lower lip.

I gave her a soft chuckle and smile, "You heard correct. I got back a few weeks ago. I spent the last year in England studying. Seems we missed each other last year. When did you start?"

That pucker was between her eyes again, I wondered if she didn't like talking about herself.

"I started in the middle of January. I moved from Arizona to live with my dad." The sigh after she was done told me she had gone over this story numerous times and wasn't pleased to be doing it again. I had a million more questions I wanted to ask, but was interrupted by Mr. Berty. Reluctantly I faced the front and listened while he described our project. It was then, while I sat silently by her, that I noticed the low hum of energy that seemed to emanate from her. It vibrated between us and it felt oddly exciting. I puzzled over it the entire hour, aware of every sigh and shift that came from Bella. Just before the bell was to ring, I slipped a piece of paper to her:

_Here's my number, give me a call and we can set up a time to work on our project. _Suddenly I had no more desire to do the project solo; I wanted to spend time with Bella and maybe get to know her better.

**A/N: Soo Edward has finally met Bella...it's soo cute. Please review to make me happy...I like being happy! :)**


	4. Ch 3

**A/N: You guys are getting spoiled. Still suffereing from writers block on Hidden Moon so I keep plugging away at this nice little piece of fluff. I also have to say that I am overwhelmed by the amount of alerts for this story and favorites I get! THANKS SOO MUCH! Ihope you enjoy this chapter. Please review!**

**As always: I don't own this stuff, yada yada yada, blah blah blah- we know who does.**

Chapter 3

Third hour was Spanish, but I had no clue what was going on, as I was busying keeping track of Bella. I have no explanation why I was interested in her all of a sudden, it was like a compulsion. She had Calculus this hour and was being bombarded by Jessica who heard she was my partner for the English project.

"_I heard you are partners with Edward. What's that like?" Why is she blushing, does she have a crush on him? I bet she does. Half this school is panting over him. _Now I was wondering the same thing, does she like me?

"_Yes, we're partners. We didn't talk much." She kept her eyes forward as Mr. Verner began to talk._

_In hushed tones, Jessica continued to question her. "Are you guys getting together to work on the project?" Why is she not gushing over him? Maybe she doesn't like him. That would be like her, she's so odd._

"_We didn't set up a time yet. He did give me his number to call him." Well, at least that is something._

The rest of the period went by slow. There was no more talking between them and as the bell rung, Bella asked Jessica about her date with Mike. That was all the prompting she needed and launched into an exhaustive recounting of her latest date. Bella seemed pleased that Jessica's attention was elsewhere.

In between periods she rarely talked, keeping to herself. The boys of the school sure noticed her but most of them just greeted her. Mike Newton was the only boy that would talk to her and whose thoughts bordered on obscene. Even though he was dating Jessica, he wanted Bella. His thoughts would easily exchange one for the other in his fantasies and it was unsettling. I was angered by his apparent interest in her, but I had no clue why.

I had World History next and once again, I focused on her. I tried to determine why I was so fascinated by her. Was it because I could not hear her thoughts or was there more? She was pretty, beautiful even. So I could see the appeal there. But a human girl has never caught my attention like this before. Maybe it was that unique scent, one that was purely all her. While humans smell good, there was never one that appealed to me so strongly as did Bella's scent. But I found it odd that there was no blood lust, just calmness and a desire to be in her presence.

I scanned the thoughts of everyone in the school, trying to learn as much as I could about Bella. She was quiet and shy. She mainly hung out with Angela and Ben. Mike obviously had a thing for her, of which Jessica is aware and it makes her think less than kind things about Bella. She is clumsy. I watched as she stumbled down the hall, tripping over nothing. It was endearing and cute. She had no other siblings and she moved to allow her mom time to be with a new husband. Her teachers found her fairly intelligent and she had a sense humor that was lost on most everyone. Most of the boys asked her out all last year and she turned them down. Mike was the only one who continued to ask her out. No one knew if she had a boyfriend outside of school.

The thought of her with another person left a hollow feeling in my gut. I did not like thinking of her with another guy. Of course this brought on another round of speculation that had millions of questions but no real answers. I tried not to think of her with another, but it was hard. Even harder was trying to suppress the anger and jealousy those thoughts provoked. I started to fear I was going crazy.

After class I made my way to the lunchroom and spotted Alice sitting at our table. I was suddenly anxious to talk to her, maybe get her perspective on things. I hurried to the table once I had my tray of disgusting human food.

"How has your day been Alice?" I wanted to ease into the conversation about Bella, but, Alice was not going to indulge me in the least.

"Good, but I think yours was better. I heard you got paired up with Bella Swan for English." Her knowing smirk said she knew more but her head was filled with Gucci's latest line. I threw a scowl in her direction for keeping me out.

"Yes I did." I offered her no more unless she was going to budge just a little. I turned my gaze toward the food on my tray. The pop, apple and hamburger smelled gross, but I needed something to do with my hands, so I began to pick apart the hamburger and wait Alice out. Since her mind was closed, I had no idea who would cave first. After a few minutes, it turned out it was Alice.

"Ok, I do know more, but I am unsure if you're ready for what I have seen." Panic seized me at her words. How bad was it? What was I going to do that she felt was too horrible to tell me? My mind swam with the endless possibilities. I could feel my anxiety level rise. My hands ran through my hair a few times before I pinched the bridge of my nose.

"Just spit it out Alice. Please." I kept my gaze on the bun I was shredding unable to look at her for fear what I may see in her eyes.

_Look at me Edward! _She waited until she had my gaze. _It's not bad in a bad way, it's more a pleasant surprise, but I am unsure how you will see it. I think it clears up a lot of things we were unsure about._

"Ok, show me." With that, she let down her mental block and I was bombarded with her visions. At first they looked exactly like the ones before. But upon closer inspection, there was a difference, the girl was more defined. The first couple only showed her in shadows, but I was clearly there, holding her and even kissing her. That was shocking, but not nearly as much as the next ones. In those the face of the girl was clear, it was Bella.

I gasped when I saw us together. There were so many of them and we were everywhere. Some had us in my room, others had us in what I guess was her room, and some had her sleeping in my arms, dancing, laughing, touching and hugging me. It was all too much and overwhelming, but I didn't ask Alice to stop, they were oddly fascinating. Eventually they stopped and I closed my eyes to savor the feelings coursing through me. They were too numerous to name, I would need Jasper to help me sort it all out.

Several times I attempted to talk to Alice about them, but I didn't know where to start. Part of me was confused and concerned about the visions. I have never been close to a human before, there were too many risks. But the other part of me was excited. This was the same part of me that watched her every move for the last two hours and searched every mind for information on her. My problem was I didn't know which part to listen to.

Instead of talking, I just looked at Alice, hoping she would volunteer to make sense of it all. This was all so new to me and I had no idea what to do or what to say. I was putting myself out there and it was terrifying. Normally I would sit with all this turmoil and confusion until I found a way to deal or it erupted out of me. But, I did not want to be alone, I had my family and I would lean on them when things were not making sense.

_I know it's a lot of information and it's not clear as to when or where this will all take place. But whatever it is, it involves you and Bella. How do you feel about all of this?_

I took a calming breath and then another for good measure. "I am not sure. I find myself fascinated by her." I then proceeded to tell her how I can't hear her thoughts and I followed her in the thoughts of others the last two hours. I told her about her scent and how delicious it was to me, but that I had no urge to drink from her, that in fact it was the opposite. I explained about the sudden feelings of jealousy and anger when thinking about Bella with another man.

Throughout it all Alice just sat and listened. She knew how hard this was for me to open up. It was an amazing feeling to talk about it all. It made the crazy emotions slightly more bearable. When I had exhausted all that was on my mind, I finally looked at Alice.

Her face showed no pity or concern, instead there was huge smile plastered across her face. Now more than ever I wanted to know what she was thinking but she was back to blocking me which angered me slightly. I decided to call her on it.

"Why are you smiling and why are you blocking me? It's kind of irritating." There was no way she missed the exasperation in my voice.

"I'm blocking my thoughts because I am trying to make sense of all that you have told me. I am smiling because you seem happy when you were talking about her. I was wondering if you like her. I think there's a lot that we do not know and what we do know all pertains to Bella and you and what may happen between you two. I think for now, we should let it play out."

"Are you saying this because of a vision you had or some other reason?"

"Call it a woman's intuition." With that she gracefully stood up and walked out of the lunch room, leaving me even more puzzled than I was before.

I followed her a few minutes later once I had composed myself and my chaotic thoughts and made my way to Biology. Inside Mr. Banner was not allowing the students to sit down as he assigned seats to us. I was beginning to wonder what it was about assigned seats this year. When a few more students had entered he started to explain where everyone would sit.

"Mr. Newton you will sit here with Mr. Crowley. Ms. Weber you are here with Mr. Cheney." When he got to the end of the row in the back he motioned to me. "Mr. Cullen you are here with Ms. Swan when she comes."

If I had a heart it would be beating in overtime. As it was I stopped breathing at the thought of getting to sit close to her for two classes. I made my way to the table which was in the back of the room. I placed my bag on the table and watched the door for Bella to arrive. I smelled her seconds before she appeared. When she was informed of the sitting arrangements, her head snapped in my direction.

This time I gave her a big smile, careful to keep my teeth from showing completely. I gestured to the spot besides and waved her over. It didn't escape my notice that Newton was staring at her and watched as she made her way to our table. When he saw me sitting there looking at Bella, his thoughts became angry.

_Why is Cullen lucky enough to get two classes where he sits next to her? If she spends that much time with him, he may make a move on her. I may have to try a little harder to get her to go out with me. Cullen is such a freak; he shouldn't be sitting there all perfect and trying to get my girl._

I tuned him out after he called Bella his, I could feel my fingers curl into a fist and the urge to punch him was staggering. I turned back to watch as Bella made her way to our table. I moved my bag from her side to the floor and waited as calmly as I could for her to settle in.

When she did, she looked over at me shyly and smiled. Her cheeks were flush with color and I realized her breathing was erratic. Instantly I was concerned for her welfare and wondered if she needed to go the nurse to lie down. Even her heart rate was elevated. I knew this was not normal for humans, but I had no idea what caused it in the first place.

"It seems like we are partners once again. I hope you don't mind." I felt a bit bad that I was fishing for information. It would be nice to know that she was okay working with me. I know I was happy. But luck was not on my side as Mr. Banner began talking and Bella faced forward instead of answering.

"Ok class, listen up. Take a good look at your lab partners as they are also going to be your final project partners as well." The noise level rose at this announcement. Most of it was due to yet another project and that the idea of an easy senior year was far from a reality.

"There are two things you need to accomplish this period. The first is the booklet I will hand out and which you will complete with your partner. The second is that you and your partner will need to pick the topic of your final project from the list on the board. Once you have decided, let me know and I will give you the full details of what you will need to do."

With that he handed out the booklets and the room was buzzing with students talking and working. I looked over at Bella who was adjusting herself to face me. Seeing yet another blush sweeping over her cheeks, I thought I would get things rolling.

"What would you like to do first, the booklet or pick a topic?" I watched her intently and I wished once again that I could hear her thoughts. It was quite maddening.

"Um, I guess we can pick a topic first, if that's ok with you?" The hesitant way in which she spoke confirmed that she was shy, but also that she liked to please others. I found that to be a sweet trait of hers and very refreshing.

I gave her another smile, "Topic it is. What options do we have?" I turned to look at the board, pretending that I did not know what our options were. I only needed to look at them once and I had them memorized. Out of the corner of my eye I watched as Bella studied the board. As she read, several of them made her scrunch up her noise in obvious distaste and I was instantly curious.

"I see that there are a few that you are _not _interested in, care to share?" A small smile graced her lips and it had me flying high. I got Bella to crack a smile.

"Anything to do with blood or dissecting animals I'd rather not do." A delicate shiver ran down her back at the mention of them.

Wanting to put her at ease I agreed with her observations, "That's fine with me; I am not in the mood for blood or guts. How about flora and fauna? It seems innocent enough." As soon as I spoke I regretted it. I had a feeling that option would require us to spend time outdoors. It would be hard to explain why I sparkled in the sun. I opened my mouth to suggest another topic when she smiled at me and nodded her head.

"That sounds like the perfect one. Although, it may require us to be outside and I hate the rain and cold. It's the only decent option up there." The tentative smile did me in, if this is what she wanted to do, I was game.

"Why don't I go tell Mr. Banner what we want to do and you can get started on the booklet."

"Don't you want to be here to make sure I answer correctly? This affects your grade as well." I was right, she was concerned about others. I smiled again. "It's ok, I trust you."

As there were others talking to Mr. Banner about their choice, I watched Bella as she bent over the worksheet and got to work. If her teachers were correct, she was smart and I had no worried that she was answering correctly. However, it would be easy for me to look it over to make sure we both got a top score.

With the project sheet in hand I made my way back to our table. I shuffled the paper to let her know I was near, as I did not want to startle her. She smiled at me as I sat down and pushed the booklet so it was between us. I moved my chair closer to her and bent down to look at her work. She had every answer right.

In comfortable silence we worked and in no time we were done with the booklet. I showed her the sheet that detailed how we were to do our project.

"It looks like we need to do a categorization of the local vegetation, making sure to touch on trees, flowers, shrubs and grasses. We need to identify native and non-native species and if possible, any evasive species and how they may impact the local ecosystem. We need to do a power point presentation at the end of the year. Sounds fairly straight forward, don't you think?"

She was still concentrating on reading the sheet so I allowed my eyes to really look at her. Her hair was an unusual chestnut color, with more reds in it that I had ever seen. Her skin was pale and almost translucent. She was skinny but not too skinny. She dressed for comfort as she was in jeans, t-shirt and pullover hoodie. She wore no make-up, but she did not need to, her skin was flawless. I ached with a sudden need to touch her. Instead I balled my fist on my thigh.

As she finished reading she finally spoke to me, "Yea, it seems straight forward, but a lot of work. Do you want to, um, meet so we can go over this and our English assignment?

"I would love to, how about tomorrow?" I would have said tonight but I needed time to sort through everything had happened today.

"I have to work then and the next day, but I am free on Friday. Will that work?"

"Friday is perfect. Where would you like to meet?" I did not want to bring her to my house, at least not yet.

"How about we go to the library, just in case we need reference materials? We could go after school."

"That sounds perfect." Just then the bell rang and we gathered up our stuff. Out the corner of my eye I saw her legs get tangled up in the strap of her bag and stumble. Without thinking I reached out to steady her. An electric current charged through us both and we let out simultaneous gasps. Mine in shock, hers in what I hoped was pleasure.

"Are you ok?" I could only stare at her; I was mesmerized by her deep brown eyes. I was aware that my hands still rested on her body and she had yet to pull away from the cold.

Her face sported a deep blush as she stammered, "Yea, I'm…ah ok. Thanks for catching me."

"Anytime," I replied and realized no truer words had been ever spoken.

**A/N: Soo you like soo far? If you do, leave a review. I respond to them all!**


	5. Ch 4

**A/N: WOW! I mean just WOW! You guys are AMAZING! I can't believe the number of hits and faves as well as alerts I have received on this story! THANKS SOO MUCH! Here is my first ever attempt to write in Bella's voice.. I hope you like it!**

**All is the property of Ms. Meyer, I just come and play with her world. Enjoy!**

Chapter 4

BPOV

It's the start of another school year and I'll admit I'm a bit excited. Only nine more months and then I was free, free of Forks and the constant rain and clouds. Free to find some sun and soak it up, preferably at college. The only snag in that plan, I had no clue where I wanted to go or what I wanted to study. Did every high school senior feel this clueless? Knowing my luck, I was the only one at Forks High that did not have a post high school plan.

It's not as if I haven't given it any thought, I have, tons. Even my parents, who never agree on anything to do with me, constantly talk to me about college. My mom is pushing for me to go to some sunny school in Florida. On one hand the idea of sun and warmth was enough for me to sign up. On the other hand, I would be too close to my mother, which I wasn't too keen on. Don't get me wrong, I love my mom. But since I left her to come live with my dad, I have experienced a sense of freedom. My dad doesn't bombard me with questions about my life. He leaves me in relative peace and quiet.

When my dad talks to me about college, it's mainly about how I need to have a plan for my life. Some idea of what and who I want to be. If that isn't pressure, I don't know what is. I mean, my only true passion in life is books. I love to read. The only job where I could be read for a living is editing books. But, knowing my luck, I would never edit a book I was interested in. I considered writing for a living, but there was no guarantee that I could make a decent living out of that. So I was back to the same old question; what do I want to do with my life.

Since the answer was not written on my bedroom ceiling I got up and went into the bathroom to take a shower. I let the warm water fall over me and let it attempt to relax me. It only marginally helped. I dressed for comfort and the dreary weather and went to make breakfast. With my pop tarts toasting I poured myself a glass of juice and I looked outside. I saw nothing but clouds and dreariness, just like I expected. I ate my food while reading _Pride and Prejudice _it was easy to get wrapped up into, so easy that when I remembered to glance at the clock I was running late.

I pulled into the parking lot and geared myself up for another boring year of school. I tried to look for Angela knowing that she was finally home from her family vacation. I spotted her talking to Jessica and Lauren. Jess I could handle, Lauren was a whole different story. Luckily she saw me as I was walking towards her and met me half way.

"Bella! So nice to see you." She wrapped me into a tight hug. "How's Florida and your mom?" She gave me a knowing smile. She understood all too well that I wasn't looking forward to spending two weeks with my mom.

"Florida was warm, humid and full of sun. That I loved. Renee was ok, for the most part. Then she started in on college and boys and then college boys." I rolled my eyes at that last part. It wasn't that I was opposed to boys, instead I was opposed to the way the boys approached me.

I mean I could have the Mike Newton's of the world that couldn't take a hint and followed me like a puppy. Then there were the over eager Tyler's who's over confidence prohibits him from taking 'no' as an answer. Last, but in no way least, there are the shy, geeky guys like Eric. Now, I have no problem with shy guys, I am a shy girl myself, but my idea of a fun time is not playing role playing games on the computer. Was it too hard to just find a nice, kind and good looking guy? I had yet to see one at this school so I think the answer is yes.

"Did Renee take you to see some of the colleges there?"

I nodded, "Yea, she was hoping something there would make me want to live back at home." I started to ask her about her vacation when Jessica came running over to us.

"You will never guess what?" We didn't bother answering because we knew she wouldn't give us the time to think of a reply. "Edward Cullen is back in school."

The name held no meaning to me besides Cullen. That was the name of the ER doctor I met several times over the summer. He was quick at stitching me up, had a nice bedside manner and was easy on the eyes. Must be one of his kids, but I wondered why he wasn't here last year. I was going to ask for more information, but the five minute warning bell sounded and we all headed to class. I am sure I could get more information later. Jessica seems overly excited about this latest development; she will have all the latest gossip.

I waved bye to Angela as she walked with her boyfriend Ben to homeroom. She was lucky to not only have a boyfriend and share homeroom with him but she even has a life after Forks High plan. Yep, she was one lucky gal. With huge reservations, I went to start the last part of my high school career.

Just before second period English I managed to catch up with Angela. We compared schedules and found we shared only English together. I was bummed at that. As we headed towards class we talked about her vacation and some of the funny things the twins did and she asked more about Renee and how I coped with it all. Suddenly she interrupted me.

"Bella, don't look now, but Edward is staring at you."

I looked at her eyes which were focused at a point behind me. I hunched my shoulders unconsciously. I'd much rather be invisible than stared at.

"Edward who? Where is he?" I wanted to look behind me to look at him myself but that would draw too much attention so I forced myself to stay put.

Angela leaned closer to prevent us from being overheard, "You did not get to meet him last year as he was gone. He went overseas to some exclusive college prep school." I briefly wondered why he would come back here if he could study abroad. That seemed the preferable option rather than be stuck here.

"His father is Dr. Cullen, you know him, right?" So I was right from my earlier assumption. Of course Angela would know all about my trips to the ER, she was the driver for a few of them. Not sure if I could say anything past the sudden fear in my stomach I just nodded.

"Anyway, Dr. Cullen and his wife adopted Edward, his sister Alice and three others. You remember them from last year?" I paused to think, but was coming up empty. Thanks goodness Angela gave me a clue. "They are the ones that are all together." Now I knew who she was talking about.

I had noticed them my first day here. There were four of them and they were all dating. Of course they were not biological, but they did live together. It was a bit odd. I could not remember if anyone mentioned a fifth child.

"Why is he looking at me?" I wasn't sure if I was asking myself and happened to say it out loud or if Angela could see something written on his face. Unfortunately I wasn't going to get an answer as Mr. Berty was talking.

He went on to tell us about out group projects and that we were going to be partnered up and have assigned seats next to said partner. I went to grab Angela's hand to call her as my partner when I realized he had already assigned them. I knew I wouldn't be so lucky to get Angela. I prayed that I would at least get someone who could pull their own weight.

Seconds later Mr. Berty decided I needed some more stress this year when he mentioned my partner.

"Well, you can stay here Mr. Cullen and welcome Ms. Swan as your partner."

I snapped my head to look at him from behind my hair. Did I just hear him right? I was going to have to work with Edward Cullen? I could feel the blush as it fanned across my cheeks. He smiled at me, which was nice. Maybe this wasn't going to be too bad. I gathered my stuff and slowly made my way to the desk next to his.

He spoke as I was sitting down. "Hello, I am Edward Cullen. It's nice to meet you."

WOW! That voice, it was sweet and melodious. It sounded like it belonged on an angel.

"I'm Bella, Bella Swan nice to meet you as well." I hoped I was not drooling for this guy was beyond gorgeous, he was smoking hot. I knew I was staring so I diverted my attention to the hem of my shirt. Yea, that was a good place to look.

"Ah, so you must be related to Chief Swan, his daughter?" His voice was full of mirth. It did not surprise me that he knew who my dad was. Everyone knew it. Didn't mean I had to like it.

I took a chance and looked at him as I answered him. "Yea, he's my dad. I heard you just got back from overseas, right?" How was it that I was still talking to him? Wasn't there a class going on? Who cares, this amazing guy is making small talk with me. The intensity of his stare made me blush yet again. That was going to be embarrassing if we are working together.

His laugh threw me off guard as well, it was like deep church bells but the crooked smile that accompanied it had me week in the knees. "You heard correct. I got back a few weeks ago. I spent the last year in England studying. Seems we missed each other last year. When did you start?"

I did not like that we were back to me. I wanted to hear all about England. At least I could assume that he had some brains, I mean they wouldn't let just anyone study over there, would they? Oh shit, he asked me something, right? Oh, yea, about last year.

"I started in the middle of January. I moved from Arizona to live with my dad." Great, I sounded like a robot, a nice way to impress him. I sighed, frustrated with myself. He seemed to want to talk me more, but Mr. Berty started to talk about the project and what it will encompass. I started taking notes on the project, but was surprised to see that it may be fairly easy. We were to compare and contrast early 1800 literature with more contemporary pieces. We were encouraged to watch either film or theatre adaptations of the stories and critique their interpretations. There was no oral presentation, but a final paper that was to be 10 to 20 pages long. I was so engrossed in my note taking that the sudden movement from my left startled me along with a small piece of paper. It was a note from Edward.

_Here's my number, give me a call and we can set up a time to work on our project._

I wondered how many other girls had his number, a guy as good looking as he was had to be dating someone. A small ache followed that thought. I wanted to laugh. Did I honestly think he would be interested in me? I mean there is not much to me. I know, the guys here are interested, but they are nowhere near the realm of Edward. He could date a supermodel and not look out of place. Sadly or was it luckily, the bell rang and my time with Edward was up.

I wish I could tell you that I forgot all about him, but I would be lying. I even wish I could say that I didn't hope, dream and wish that he was in my next class. Again, I would be lying. I will say I tried my best to not think of him and concentrate on what my teachers were saying. But let's face it; there isn't a whole lot of teaching that goes on the first day. I will also tell you that I have yet to learn my lesson and keep my mouth shut when talking to Jessica.

The second she heard I was paired with Edward, the third degree commenced. The only thing that made it bearable was that I could hear the jealously that was behind her every word. She wanted him and she wanted him bad. Somehow I got the impression that he turned her down, several times. If that was true, my opinion of him improved even more.

By the time lunch rolled around, Jessica had dissected every word he said and felt that he was not into me. That did wonders for my already bruised self-esteem. On the plus side I learned all there was to learn about Edward. Well, all the things that Jessica thought were important. Namely that he is extremely good looking, rich and did not date. She must have seen my shocked my expression at that declaration. She just sniffed and said no more. I was right, he has turned her down. I tried to hide my satisfied smile at that thought.

I walked behind her in the lunch line and tried to tune her out. As we made our way to our table I was thankful that Angela had saved me a seat by her, which forced Jessica to sit by Mike. I mouthed a silent thank you and turned my attention to the pizza on my tray.

Now here is where I get even more pathetic. I knew the moment he arrived in the lunch room. No, it wasn't because the room fell silent and trumpets announced his arrival. No, it was like I had suddenly developed Edward radar. Once he was in the lunch line my head turned on its own volition and I watched him like the hopeless, drooling girl I was. He looked deep in thought and I had a fleeting fantasy that it was me he was thinking of. Ha, as if! My eyes followed him as he made his way to a table where a girl sat. It took me a while, but I remembered that was his sister, Alice and not some girlfriend. Whew.

As I watched them talk I could not help but notice how similar and dissimilar they looked, even for siblings. Both were pale, even more so than me. Their features were perfect, not a single flaw could be seen. They had a common grace and poise about them. They were both toned and moved with such fluidity, it was almost beautiful. Their hair colors were different. While hers was short and spiky, his was untidy and the most curious shade of bronze. But their eyes, they were both a warm honey-gold. I had never seen such a color, much less in an eye color. Could they be contacts?

I tried to place how they were related, if it was by blood or just by circumstance. I wanted to turn and ask Angela, but I was unable to tear my eyes off of him. He had long lean fingers and I yearned to feel them on me. Whoa, where did that thought come from? I have spoken a dozen words to him and suddenly I wanted him to touch me? Crazy teenage hormones. He appeared to be in a deep conversation with his sister. His face held several emotions, fear, confusion, frustration. A sweeping desire to comfort him overwhelmed me. Someone as beautiful as him should never hurt.

A few minutes later they both got up from there table. It was then that my brain finally registered two additional things about them. First, Edward did most of the talking but the way he was looking at his sister left no room for doubt that he was listening to her as well, even if I rarely saw her mouth move. Second, they never ate or drank. Edward shredded the hamburger on his tray and Alice just played with her salad. Not once did I see a fork touch their lips. I tried to tell myself that maybe they were not hungry. School food is not gourmet cuisine after all.

A glance at the clock told me that I had less than five minutes to eat. I spent most of my lunch time staring at Edward I forgot to eat as well. I gulped down something fast and ran out the room just as the bell was ringing.

There was a traffic jam outside the Biology room and when I finally got inside I was informed by Mr. Banner me who my lab partner my heart raced. My head whipped in his direction and my heart took off in double time when he smiled that adorable crooked smile and gestured to the empty seat beside him. To add to his charm he waved me over.

I wanted to jump and scream that Edward Cullen was waving and smiling at me. When did I become such a girly girl? When I saw Edward smile, that's when. He was man enough to make any girl forget who she was. Whatever was happening in the greater universe that threw us together, I was not going to pass up a chance to sit next to him.

With great slowness and care I made my way to our table. The last thing I needed was for me to fall and show him how uncoordinated I was. I was sure it would happen soon enough, but I until then, I would be careful. With my notebook and pen out and my bag on the floor, I had ran out of things to do. Nervous did not even begin to explain how I felt sitting next to him. But I couldn't just ignore him that would be rude.

Slowly I looked at him and smiled. Just looking at him I became breathless. He was just so beautiful. His face was even more chiseled; he had a strong jaw, and a straight refined looking nose. Then there was those eyes, so warm and golden framed by the thickest lashed I had ever seen on a boy. I could feel the blush as it erupted.

"It seems like we are partners once again. I hope you don't mind." My mind scrambled for a response but there was nothing. Thankfully Mr. Banner began talking saving me from the embarrassment of not being able to respond to him. I was barely keeping up with what the teacher was saying when the room was suddenly loud with noise again. It appears that our lab partners are also our partners for a huge biology project. I tried to hide the smile at that thought. I was one happy girl.

With Mr. Banner done explaining what was happening for the rest of the period, I realized that there was work to be done with Edward. Trying to gain some sense of composure I faced him slowly.

He once again saved me by talking first. "What would you like to do first, the booklet or pick a topic?" Would I ever get used to the musical chime in his voice?

I racked my brain for what would be a suitable response, but came up blank. "Um, I guess we can pick a topic first, if that is ok with you?" I know, that was lame, but in my defense I was just trying to be helpful. It must have worked for he graced me with one of his smiles.

"Topic it is. What options do we have?" With that we both faced the board in the front of the room where several options for Biology projects were listed. Several were out of the running for the simple fact that I did not need him to see me faint. So that ruled out anything to do with blood or dissecting. There were raising some type of flies which just sounded nasty. I couldn't help but scrunch my face in disgust.

"I see that there are a few that you are _not _interested in, care to share?" What? Was he watching me? I wasn't sure if I should be embarrassed or happy. I decide I should be happy and smiled.

"Anything to do with blood or dissecting animals I'd rather not do." Even thinking of it made me shiver.

"That's fine with me; I am not in the mood for blood or guts. How about flora and fauna? It seems innocent enough." That seemed perfect. Of course it may require time outside, hiking and all that fun stuff, but I could deal. I mean one on one time with Edward Cullen? Yea, I could deal with that. I smiled and nodded my agreement.

"Sounds like the perfect one. Although, it may require us to be outside and I hate the rain and cold. It's the only decent option up there." I didn't want him to think I was too eager to be alone with him.

"Why don't I go tell Mr. Banner what we want to do and you can get started on the booklet." He seemed calm and in control and I felt like a puddle of goo. So not fair.

"Don't you want to be here to make sure I answer correctly? This affects your grade as well." I did not want to be responsible for bringing down his grade. It's not like the booklet looked hard, but still I wanted to give him an out, just in case.

My knees turned to spaghetti when he smiled, "It's ok, I trust you." With that he walked to the front of the room to talk to Mr. Banner. My eyes strayed to his butt, which of course was perfect. Fearing he may see me staring I dived into the booklet.

A few minutes later I heard him as he came back with our project detail sheet. I gave him a smile in appreciation and moved the booklet closer to him so he could see what I completed. As he leaned in closer I got a big whiff of him and it was delectable. He smelled like heaven and sun and it was so peaceful. I wanted to roll myself up in it and stay there forever. I tried not to sniff too much, but man it was the sweetest smell I have ever come across. How did I notice it in English?

In no time at all we completed the booklet and I was fairly confident that we got every answer right. It was nice to work with someone and not worry about them sponging off me. He passed me the sheet that listed the details of our project and I looked it over. It was a basic project; it had more busy work than any actual hard work. Most of it would require research. I listened as Edward summarized it as I was reading and he was correct, it was straight forward.

"Yea, it seems straight forward, but a lot of work. Do you want to, um, meet so we can go over this and our English assignment?" I didn't mean to ask it like that, but I really wanted to spend some time with him and these projects are the best excuse I have at the time.

"I would love to, how about tomorrow?"

Damn, damn, stupid job, maybe I could quit. "I have to work then and the next day, but I am free on Friday. Will that work?" Please let him say he is available, it's a long shot, I am sure he has a date or a photo shoot, anything other than spending time with me on schoolwork.

"Friday is perfect. Where would you like to meet?" Yes! He was free. Shoot, where to meet. My house was out of the question and I didn't want to seem too forward to suggest his house, so that left us with the library.

"How about we go to the library, just in case we need reference materials? We could go after school." Then maybe make out on one of the tables. Ugh, I need to stop thinking of him that way.

"That sounds perfect." He dropped one of his amazing smiles as the bell rang. Damn, my time with him is up. I tried to gather my stuff and get off my chair in one move which was bad. I should know better than to try and do two things at once. My legs got tangled up and I felt the familiar sensation of falling. However, instead of the cold hard floor, I felt a pair of strong, cold arms and it was so much better.

I gasped as a tingling current zip through my body the second he touched me. It was _THE _most intense and sensual feeling ever. I felt from the tip of my head to the end of my curled toes. It hummed all though me leaving me feeling warm and flushed especially where he was touching me. I felt as if my skin was on fire and I wanted nothing more than for him to keep his hands on me.

"Are you ok?" There was no missing the concern in his voice. He was concerned about me and he was still touching me. I was far from ok; I was ecstatic, joyful and downright giddy. So of course I blushed because I was certain that what I was thinking was written all over my face.

"Yea, I'm…ah ok. Thanks for catching me."

"Anytime," he replied while looking deep into my eyes and I was a goner. I was officially infatuated with Edward Cullen.

**A/N: Sooo did ya like? If so, please review..if not... still review! PLEASE? I would like to know if you would like to hear more from Bella as the story goes on. :)**


	6. Ch 5

**A/N: OMG! You guys are WONDERFUL! Soo many faves, alerts it made me giddy! The reviews were mixed on Bella's POV. No worries she will only be making sporadic appearings... this is Edward's story to tell..mainly! So here is an Easter treat... the next chapter. PLease read, enjoy and hit that review button... PLEASE! It can be your Eater treat to me!**

**Ahh I how I wish this was mine.. but is belongs all to SM..lucky bitch... **

Chapter 5

My body was still tingling with the hum of whatever that was that passed through the both of us. It was an amazing feeling. For a brief moment I felt connected to Bella and I liked it. Just as amazing was the warmth of her body. Even now my hands still held a lingering trace of her heat. I wanted more, more of her warmth, more of the feel of her in my arms. I was taken aback by that line of thought and the intensity of it. Part of me wanted to reject it as an impossible idea, but I couldn't live like that anymore. So I tried to just enjoy the feelings and not analyze them to death. It was easier said than done.

I floated towards the gym as I replayed that entire hour. So it was no surprise when I practically ran into Alice.

"Edward!" I looked up as I heard her say my name. I hadn't realized she was talking to me. _It's about time I got your attention. I take it Biology was good? _The knowing smile told me she saw everything. I wanted to be perturbed that she intruded on a private moment between Bella and me but maybe it was possible she could help explain exactly happened.

_We don't have to change since it is the first day and all. So let's find a good place to talk._

We filed into the gym and took a seat on the bleachers. We were close enough to look as if were part of the class, but far enough away that we wouldn't be over heard. As Coach Clapp began to outline the units were would be covering, Alice began the third degree.

_So, tell me what happened? _I rolled my eyes at her, as if she didn't know exactly what went on. Chances are she saw it occur moments before it did. "Why don't you tell me what you already know, it would be easier wouldn't?"

She smiled brightly. _Maybe, but I think hearing it from your perspective gives us a better read on things. _I didn't even begin to try and understand what she was talking about. Instead of arguing with her I told her about how we got assigned as partners and the brief conversation we had. I paused as I got toward the end and the strange electrical current.

How did I want to tell her, should I? Could I even begin to explain what happened when it was hard for me to make sense of it myself? I mean, here it was, about thirty minutes since I touched her and I swear I could feel the tingle in my hands. So I tried the best I could.

"Before the bell rang and she was gathering her stuff, she got tangled up in her bag and the chair and started to tumble, so I caught her." Alice's eyes grew large when she heard this. I scanned her thoughts to hear what she was thinking only to find that she was translating Coach Clapp's words into Korean. I ignored that for now.

"When we touched there was like this electrical connection or charge that I felt. I think she felt it to. She let out a gasp. Maybe it could have been due to my cold skin. But she didn't pull away. I actually let her go once she was righted."

I stole a glance at my sister only to see her deep in thought. In vain I tried to penetrate her mind only to be blocked again. Now I was getting a bit angry. What did she not want me to know? Was something bad going to happen? Was Bella in danger? She had yet to say anything and I was growing impatient.

"Well, any thoughts you care to share?" I let my irritation at her leak into my words; I had enough of her secrecy.

"I think that we should talk to Carlisle when we get home." That was all that she had to say? I don't think so. She was going to spill what she knew and it better happen fast.

"Alice what are you not telling me?" The barely suppressed anger was evident, I was tight with frustration. My hands were curled into fists on my thighs and my eyes had narrowed into slits.

_Calm down! I will tell you everything, but I need you to wait until we get home. I am unsure of too much and I need to make sure we are all calm so we can look at things in a logical manner. Have some faith in me Edward. _

The pleading her voice finally penetrated my brain and I calmed down. She was right. This was no place for a detailed analysis on what happened in class and to discuss whatever else Alice knows. I gave her a short nod and pretended to focus on the lecture. Instead, I was busy trying to piece together all that we knew, which I hated to admit wasn't much. But then, I was out of the loop and wasn't privy to all the knowledge there was to know.

So what did I know? Firstly, Alice has had visions of Bella and me together, although there is no timeline on when or if that would happen. There was the strange electrical connection that flowed between us in Biology. Next was the fact that her blood appealed to me, much more potent than most humans, but I found I had no desire to drink from her. Lastly was the way I couldn't seem to keep my thoughts from straying to her. I constantly watched her in the minds of others. So what did it all mean? The bell interrupted my ponderings and Alice grabbed me and rushed me out to the car.

In less than fifteen minutes we were back at home and charging up the stairs to talk to Carlisle. Alice must have warned him, for he was waiting for us with an expectant expression. She pushed me into the plush couch and sank down next to me. It happened so fast even my vampire brain had trouble processing it all. What was the point in talking to Carlisle? What did we hope he could explain to the rest of us? The impatient feeling I had from before returned full force and I glared at Alice and her pushy attitude.

Seeing the bemused expression on my face, Carlisle chucked, which did not help my mood in the least. _Calm down, son. Alice called me earlier and told me that you would need to talk to me. That is all I know. _When in the world did she call him? I tried to think back, but I couldn't remember seeing her make a call. I through a puzzled look at my pixie of a sister and raised an eyebrow in the hopes she would fill in the rest of us.

"You called him? When? Why?"

"Just before gym, I had a vision that we would be talking after school, but I did not know what about. It wasn't until we talked in gym that I figured it all out." It was times like this that I was more annoyed than pleased with her gift.

"Why don't you tell me what happened today and maybe we can sort it out." Carlisle's voice was calm and held no expectations; the choice was up to me.

It was then that I felt as if I was standing at a crossroads. One road was familiar; it was the one where I questioned everything and everyone. It was a place of suspicion and arrogance. I had been down that road; I lived it for far too long. The other road was rarely traveled. It was full uncertainty, but had the potential for a positive outcome. It was also the road that held my family and all their support and wisdom. It was time that I took that other route.

With that decided, I launched into everything that had happened today. I told him all about Bella and what transpired, and all my thoughts and feelings. I even told him about Bella's scent and how I viewed it and how her thoughts were silent to me. Alice chirped in regarding her visions and how they grew to be more defined and how they concerned me and Bella. She even went into detail of what the visions contained. Then she dropped the bombshell.

"I had two visions just before I called you, Carlisle. One was that we would be meeting like we are now. However the first one was about Bella and Edward again. It was a bit blurry, not as bad as before, but not a clear as some of the more recent ones. In it, Bella appeared to be one of us." My mouth fell open at that, I had no idea how to deal with that revelation.

"Show me," I demanded. There would be no way she would keep this one from me any longer.

Instantly I was hit with the image of Bella, she wasn't as defined, but it was clear it was her. I was standing with her and she was smiling. Then we walked outside hand and hand and the sun caught us both. Muted sparkles lit up both of our bodies. That was all there was and I was stunned. The old part of me wanted to scream at this vision. It was wrong and unfair to Bella. She shouldn't have to live this existence. But the other part of me, the one I was trying to pay more attention to, was happy. Maybe this vision and all the others were trying to tell me something. I was still having trouble listening to the new me, so I kept quiet.

Carlisle sat back in his chair and looked out the window. I knew this pose well; he was trying to organize his thoughts, trying to make sense of all that we had told him. I desperately wanted a look at his thoughts, but he was too well versed in keeping me out, especially at times like this. He did not want me to get worked up over stray thought tangents and ideas. He rather I hear his organized ideas and observations. While I understood his reasoning, I was having a hard time not screaming at him to hurry up.

What seemed like hours later, but in all reality was just minutes, Carlisle turned back to me. To say that my anxiety level was through the roof would be an understatement. For some crazy reason, I had the feeling as if my entire life was about to be turned upside down and I was not prepared for it. It was like I was standing at the edge of a giant cliff with no bottom in sight and Carlisle was standing behind me ready and willing to push me over. I had to tamp down the urge to flee.

"Let me first say that I have no absolute answers, just an educated guess and hunch. However, that doesn't mean that we have no way of getting the answers we need, it will just take some time." A hunch? All that thinking and contemplating and the only thing he had was an educated guess? I choked on the hysterical laughter that was trying to bubble forth. If he noticed my expression, he did not comment, instead he continued on.

"What I believe is happening is the beginning of the mating connection between you and Bella, Edward. It's muted, but the signs are there." He paused to allow me to process this tidbit of information. Was it even possible that he was right? That Bella was the mate I had been looking for, right here in Forks. The irony was not lost on me and I could not help but laugh. But more importantly, how did I feel about it all? That was harder to answer and may take some time to decipher. I motioned for Carlisle to continue knowing I would need much more time to process and I'd rather just hear everything he has to say.

"That electrical charge you felt is the strongest indicator that there is a possible mating connection. Over time, if I am right, it will grow in intensity and there will be no denying that she is your mate. What is unknown, is how this all works with Bella being human. You mentioned that you thought Bella felt the charge as well. It would be nice to know for sure. Once we know more, we can decide on a course of action. For now I think we need to gather more information."

"How do we do that?" For now I was only focused on gather more knowledge. I couldn't process much more than that.

"Well I have several ideas if you are willing and open to them." He looked at me to see what I wanted to do. All I could do was nod for him to continue.

"First of all, I think you should continue to interact with her. The fact that you have two school projects will give you plenty of opportunity to spend time with her. Get to know her and let her know you." I looked at him quizzically, not sure if he meant what I thought he was saying.

He nodded his head; we were on the same track. "If she is your mate Edward, she will need to know what you are. But I think that is jumping the gun. For now, it can be about who you are as a person. Your likes and dislikes, let her see the kind of man that you are." Ok, I could do that, I think.

He turned to face Alice who was already bouncing in her seat. She knew what he was going to ask of her. "I think next, you need to befriend her Alice. We need to know what she is feeling and experiencing. Plus, if she is his mate, it would be nice for her to form relationships with our family. Can you see about getting into one of her classes? It would be the best way to become friends with her." Alice was practically bouncing off the walls.

"I will take care of it first thing tomorrow morning." She looked ahead to the future, but it wasn't fully decided. It looked like she had a good chance of switching classes but it wasn't a sure thing.

"Lastly, at least for now, it would be nice to get her here, so Jasper can get a read on her emotions. Just in case she is unable or unwilling to articulate how she feels. Of course that can happened when you feel it's socially acceptable. There is no need to rush things. When we have more information, we can talk again. But until then, I say we continue on and see how things play out."

_How does that sound to you Edward? _His eyes held nothing but love and concern. He knew how hard this was all for me to take in. He knew I was trying to do things differently and how much of a struggle it was. If I decided that I did not want to pursue this, he would respect that and not another word would be spoken. But I could guess he was hoping my desire for a mate would overrule everything and I would let this all play out.

While there was still plenty for me to think about and come to terms with, I knew I wanted to see what happens next. I knew that by agreeing to this I wasn't claiming Bella as my mate. More like I was willing to wait and see before I make a choice about it all. It seemed to be the wise and most logical choice.

"I am willing to wait and see, to find out how it plays out, for now." That last bit was for Alice. She tended to get a little exuberant and go overboard from time to time. She had a hard time letting things go. She must have understood my tone because she looked in my direction and smiled.

"I am here to help. If you choose to not go any further, I will respect that. I just want you to be happy." I nodded to let her know I heard and walked out of the study and into my room.

Once there I tried to lie on my couch and listen to music, but I was feeling restless. There was so much floating in my head and I needed a few more moments before I could even begin to process it all. There was only one thing that truly helped me calm down, running. Suddenly that seemed like the best idea. I jumped from my window, not even bothering to say goodbye to my family. Once outside I took off. I closed my mind and gave myself over to the complete joy of running.

If I was ever asked what I loved most about being a vampire I would say it was running. There was something about the speed and the sense of freedom it gave me. When I ran, it was easy for me to forget about what was troubling me. I felt enclosed in my own little bubble of bliss and it was perfect. It was also the perfect way to release pent energy and aggression. I pushed myself to my limits and flew. It was exhilarating.

A few hours later I found myself heading back home but by way of my meadow. It was the perfect place for me to organize my thoughts. I was ready to process my talk with Carlisle and see how I felt about it all. The night was dark, no hint of a moon but I still saw the beauty that was my meadow. It was perfectly round and the last of the fall wildflowers were slowly dying out. It was one of the few places that I feel peace, it allowed me to find a quiet from all the voices I hear on a daily basis.

I sank down and flat on my back and closed my eyes. Instantly I was assaulted by Bella's image. Her deep brown eyes, the gentle slope of her neck, the way she smiles when she thinks no one is looking. She was a beautiful woman and I have a feeling she doesn't quite know it. There was no mistaking I was captivated by her. There was something about her that pulled at me and I was helpless to resist.

So, how did I feel about the prospect of Bella being my mate? Terrified, nervous, excited, happy were just some of the emotions that coursed through me. So, I tried to take them one at a time. What was I scared of? That was easy, of hurting her, either physically or emotionally. But every relationship ran the risk of emotional pain, so I could see that as a normal reaction. As to the potential physical pain, I had absolute control over my body. I knew how much pressure it would take to stroke a flower without crushing it, why couldn't be the same thing with Bella. I know that the consequences were dire if something were to happen, but still, I could try to be close, I just had to be aware.

The nervousness was just as easy, I had never been in a relationship. There were thoughts that she would not like me like in that way, that I wouldn't be good at being close to her. But if living in close proximity to humans taught me anything, it was that this was normal as well. I was in uncharted territory, but every new relationship was like that.

As for being happy and excited, well that was all due to her. Just thinking of her made me smile. She was a kind, smart, funny and beautiful person, all that I would want in a mate. Just the thought of Bella as mine, my mate, it stirred something deep, primal. It also brought forth desires that I had never felt. It awoken parts of my body and brain that I thought would never come to life. It was overwhelming, but I relished them.

My mind began to reply the images from Alice's vision and my body reacted, I became highly aroused. That was more than enough encouragement for my mind to turn them into fantasies. My body now yearned to do more than hold or kiss her, it wanted to posses her. Thoughts of a naked Bella swam in my head and I groaned. I was getting out of control and needed to calm down.

It seemed I had my answer; I was more than pleased at the idea of Bella as my mate. Now I just needed to see if she wanted me. I slowly stood up and realized that the sun would rise in an hour. As I slowly got ready for school, I could not help the slightly negative thoughts from intruding, what if Bella did not care for me like I cared for her? That thought alone filled me with such pain I gasped. I shook my head, trying to dislodge the negativity before it could take root. I was not going to be the negative Edward. I was going to be the type of person who had hope and faith. Hope that Bella could be my mate and faith that it will all work out.

**A/N: Ahh so Edward's falling in love...**

**Please review...make my day.. make me happy! You know you wanna~~~**


	7. Ch 6

**A/N: I felt like celebrating..I am over my writer's block in Hidden Moon, so to say yea..I give you another chapter here. I know doesn't make much sense but hey, its another chapter. Enjoy!**

**I am overwhelmed by the shear volume of alerts, fave and hits, it humbles me. Thanks for taking an interest in my story! I hope you will like this next offering.**

**I would like to say that I own this, but I'm sure that if I do, men with suits and briefcases would swoop down upon me- so I do not own Twilight..I am just playing...**

Chapter 6

The next two days were the strangest ones I had ever experienced. But that was fine by me as they allowed me to get to Friday and spending time with Bella. Well, let me rephrase that, Thursday was the strangest day but it never would have been that way if it wasn't for things that happened on Wednesday. Before I get too far ahead of myself, let me recap.

Early on Wednesday Alice pestered me to get her to school early. She said it had to do with her being able to switch her classes to get into one of Bella's. That was all she had to say, I was in. Once there she told me to wait in the car until she called for me. I wished I knew what she was up to, but she was blocking her thoughts. That was becoming a regular occurrence and I wasn't sure if I liked it. About twenty five minutes later I heard her call out to me.

_Edward, come meet me at the office. _Like the nice brother I was, I obeyed. If this wasn't all for a chance to get closer to Bella I wouldn't be as agreeing. We meet just outside the office.

"Well, will you be able to switch classes and why were we here so early?"

"Wait and find out. Now come in with me." Together we walked into the office and up to the counter to wait for Mrs. Cope to come out from the back. The office was more cluttered than usual as it was the beginning of the school year and things had yet to be completely organized. A few minutes later Mrs. Cope came from the back of the office. She was startled when she looked up to see us standing there.

"What can I do for you two this morning?" Even though she addressed us both her eyes darted quite frequently towards me. I heard Alice suppress a giggle.

_Oh my, too young, but so cute. _Is this what she brought me in here for, as a diversion? Alice would so owe me. But then again, she is doing this all for me and Bella, so maybe I'll let it slide.

"I was hoping I could switch a few of my classes around Mrs. Cope." Alice's voice was demur and quiet. She was laying it on thick.

"What classes did you want to switch?" Mrs. Cope began to uselessly shuffle paperwork. Her constant glances towards me were meddling with her brain. I decided to help that along by sidling up closer to the front desk.

"Well I was hoping to drop French, add in a free period, but I was hoping my free period could be before lunch so I need to do some rearranging with my schedule." I threw a perplexed look at Alice. What in the world was she trying to do?

"Well, you can't just drop French dear; you need to have enough foreign language credits to graduate."

Alice interrupted her quickly,"I know, that is why I went to see Mr. Jondal this morning. I tested out of French and that will satisfy my language credits. So, do you think we could make the schedule changes?" Ahh that is what she was doing her so early. Sneaky little pixie.

_Edward, a little of your charm would help right about now!_

Ugh, the things I was doing for Bella and I didn't even know if she liked me. Alice better find something out fast. With an inward sigh, I leaned over the counter and looked right at Mrs. Cope and flashed a smile.

"Don't worry Alice; I have faith that Mrs. Cope will be able to help you. She can do wonders with a schedule." For a good measure I threw in a wink. To say that her thoughts were scrambled would be an understatement. I don't think she had a logical coherent thought while she was fixing Alice's schedule. At the end of it all, Alice managed to get third period calculus with Bella and a free fourth period.

"Don't you think you laid it on a bit thick back there with the wink?" She tried to make her tone stern, but she could help the giggles that burst forth. By this time the hallways were beginning to fill with students and I couldn't but help to look for Bella. I finally spotted her talking with Angela. She did not see me and I began walking over there before I had a conscious thought to do so.

"Hey Bella." Was that all I had to say to my potential mate? By the looks of it, it was. She looked up and smiled, it was simply breathtaking.

"Good morning Edward." A faint blush began to creep up and it only made her more adorable. I would have stared at her like an idiot if two things didn't happen. The first was the annoying pixie called Alice and the second was Mike Newton.

_Introduce us Edward; it will make talking to her in third period easier. _

"Bella, I don't know if you know my sister, Alice. Alice this is Bella." I have to say, I was amazed that Alice was able to tone down her normal over the top personality and be rather normal.

"Hello Bella, it's nice to meet you. Edward told me all about you." Both Bella and I looked at her in astonishment, but then Newton had to go and ruin it all, at least for me.

_What? Edward talked to his sister about Bella. Oh man, are they serious, are they dating? I bet I could still get her to go out with me. I got more charm than that freak Cullen. Watch this freak boy!_

With a confidence I was sure he wasn't entirely sure about, he strolled right up to Bella, trying hard to pretend he did not know I was there. I was too stunned to even move. What the hell was he thinking?

"Hey Bella, I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime, like Friday? We could go see a movie." I wanted to backhand the kid, but he was just too pathetic. He was hoping that Bella would choose him over me and therefore show everyone, or namely me, that she preferred him. I couldn't wait to see his reaction, so I kept my face neutral as I waited to see what Bella would say.

"Sorry, Mike. I have plans with Edward." She then looked up at me and laid me with another of her smiles. I could help but add salt to the wound that is Newton.

"Yea, sorry Newton. Hey Bella let me walk you to class." Giving her no room to say no, I grabbed her hand and walked away. I tried to hide my smile as I heard the sputtering thoughts of Newton. He had no idea what just happened. You just got served asshole.

But I had no need to worry about him as I was now focused on the amazing current that was coursing through our linked hands and it made us both look down at them. I squeezed gently to let her know I felt it as well and I didn't mind. Wanting to hold her hand for as long as possible I distracted her.

"So, what do you have first hour? Where am I taking you?" Her eyes never left our intertwined hands. To say her warmth felt good would be another understatement. I could feel my entire arm radiating in warmth. I wanted to wrap my entire body in it. That brought forth some of the images from last night and my jeans became tight. She didn't help matters when she began to nibble on her lower lip.

Pulling her eyes up to mine she finally responded, "I have um, Spanish with Mrs. Geoff."

"Well, let me get you to your class." With my hand firmly holding hers we continued to walk. Meanwhile Newton continued to spew vile thoughts at me. How he still thought Bella liked him was beyond me. But I could care less, he can have his delusions, I have the real thing. As we reached her room I stopped and was overcome with the desire to touch her cheek. Thinking that may be a bit too much I gave her hand another squeeze.

"Here we are. I'll see you in English. Bye." Reluctantly I released her hand and trailed my fingers over hers. It may have been my imagination, but it felt she was just as hesitant to let go as I was.

That was the most I spoke to her for the rest of the day. In English class I was able to smile at her but then Mr. Berty launched right into the days lecture. That's not to say that I didn't stare at her, of course I did. Each time she would look over I would smile or give her a wink. Each time she would blush and it just enhanced the coloring in her face. I think I was aroused the entire class period. We exchanged goodbyes at the end and I didn't see her till Biology.

I spent the next two hours in a haze. Even with my expansive vampire brain I had no recollection of what the teachers were saying. All I could think about was the softness of Bella's skin and if it was like that all over. That in turn just made me harder and the fantasies kept spinning. By the middle of fourth period I had imagined Bella and I in every way I could conceive of and it left me wanting. My dick was throbbing and I had several hours of school left. In vain I tried to adjust myself to make it better but it was no use. Before the bell rang, I pulled my shirt out of my jeans and hoped it did a decent job of camouflaging my raging hard on.

I was almost to the lunch room when it dawned on me that I didn't listen into Alice during third period when she was with Bella. I wanted to smack my forehead in frustration. Now I needed to fish for information from Alice and she wasn't going to make it easy on me. When I had my tray I slowly made my way to our table, scrambling for a way to get her to talk.

By the giggles and the smile she had on her face she already knew what I wanted and she knew why I needed to ask.

_I should make you beg for it, but you have enough problems to deal with. _Her gaze flicked quickly to my groin confirming that she knew who I had been thinking of. I hung my head in shame. The proper gentleman in me was mortified in my behavior and thoughts. The perpetual teenager reveled in it all and was gearing up for more.

"This is incredibly embarrassing Alice. Please don't make it any worse for me than it already is." I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. This was all so new to me and I was feeling out of control. It was a sensation I was not comfortable with.

"There is nothing to be ashamed of Edward, it's perfectly normal when you are attracted to someone."

I shook my head in consternation. "Doesn't make it proper or right."

"Whatever. Do you want to know what happened in third period?" I was surprised that Alice didn't push her point. Maybe she saw that I was in no mood argue and decided to be nice. Whatever the reason, I wasn't going to turn down her offer.

"Yes, please." I hoped she couldn't hear the desperation in my voice.

With a knowing smirk, she opened her mind and replayed her interactions with Bella.

_Alice timed her arrival to the room just as Bella was getting there._

"_Hey, Bella. Are you in this class?"_

"_Yea. Why are you here? I didn't see you here yesterday."_

"_I moved some of my classes around and got moved into here. Do you mind if I sit next to you?"_

_Bella looked shocked at that, but quickly agreed. They found a set of desk next to each other._

"_Thanks. So I hear you are working with my brother on two projects." The full blush was evident even through the memory. She nodded and bit her lower lip. _I had to stifle a groan at the sight of that.

"_He's a nice guy and should be real fun to work with." Bella looked puzzled at Alice's comments. _

"_Oh."_

"_Plus, I know he is looking forward to working with you." Alice gave a big beaming smile to Bella as their teacher began to talk. Bella's eyes widened at Alice's last statement and as she turned to face the teacher a small smile spread across her face._

_At the end of class, Alice turns towards Bella, "Do you think we could ever get together and study or hang out?" Alice was giving Bella her wide doe eyes and innocent pleading._

"_Sure, that would be ok."_

_Alice couldn't contain the squeal of delight. She jotted down her number and pushed it towards Bella. "Here's my number. Can I have yours?" Bella wrote hers down and pushed it towards Alice._

"_See ya around Bella."_

"Thanks," I whispered. "I appreciate you doing this for me." I lifted my eyes and gave her a tentative smile.

_I am doing this because I love you and I want to see you happy. If Bella is what makes you happy, then I am all for it. Plus, I feel Bella and I are going to be great friends. _I didn't know what to say to that. To take a chance and hope that Bella was the one I have been looking for was too great a leap. But I would forever wonder about her if I didn't at least try. So, for now I was taking baby steps.

The bell rang and I went off to Biology. My mood improving with every step I took. I arrived at our table first and anxiously waited for Bella to appear. While I only waited for a minute at the most, it seemed like forever. I breathed a small sigh of relief as she sat down and took out her notebook. The warmth of her body was enveloping me and it felt very nice.

"I heard you have a class with my sister. I hope she behaved." I leaned closer to her, "She tends to be a bit hyper active."

Bella gave a tiny giggle at that and I flashed a smile. "She was fine. She's nice." I nodded my agreement, "Just give her time, the hyper pixie in her will come out soon enough." Before Bella could respond Mr. Banner started class and she turned to take notes.

I looked up to see Newton throwing what I assumed he thought was menacing stares at me. To me it looked like he was constipated. I had to swallow my laugh at that thought. Instead I gave him a smirk and scooted closer to Bella. We were almost touching and I was bathed in her warmth. Mr. Banner rapped his knuckles in his desk and he had to face the front of the class. Even if Bella wasn't my mate, I would keep her away from Mike. He deserves her even less than I do.

By Thursday morning I was itching to be next to Bella. Being apart from her last night was not easy. I paced, I played the piano, and I even tried hunting. In the end the only thing that remotely helped was writing it all down. So that is what I did. I wrote everything that has happened since the first day I saw Bella. Each emotion, each fear, each desire I have regarding Bella was now preserved in the pages of my journal.

Now I find myself waiting in the parking lot for her to show up. I didn't care if I looked desperate; I just wanted to be in her presence. I heard her arrive before she actually did, although I did not realize it was her coming. Only when I saw her driving a car that looked to be on its last leg and louder than should be allowed, did I understand that was her vehicle. I shook my head in disbelief.

I watched her intently and was alarmed when I saw her face twisted up in a vicious scowl. She wasn't happy and I wanted to know who or what made her unhappy so I could fix it. Slowly I walked towards her planning ways to make her smile once again. I was only a few feet from her when she spotted me and broke into a huge smile. Could it be that she was happy to see me? Elation at this thought made me smile as well.

Opening her door I greeted her, "Hey. Was wondering why you looked so unhappy, but I am pleased to see you smile again." I took her bag and walked with her slowly into school. "Care to tell me why you looked so upset a moment ago?"

She furrowed her brow and wrinkled her nose in a most adorable way; I had a sudden urge to kiss her. "It's really no big deal. It's just people getting on my nerves and sticking their noses where they don't belong." She ended on a huff of air. She was really upset. I had yet to hear her speak with such passion. It was sexy as hell and my body was starting to react, again. It was getting kind of embarrassing.

"I can see how that would be annoying. Anything I can do to help? I hate to see you look so glum." Her heart picked up in tempo and another beautiful smile broke across her face along with her trademark blush. It was an alluring combination.

"No, there's nothing you can do." Her eyes flicked over to where Newton was standing and talking to a bunch of guys. Quickly she muttered under her breath, "Unless you can make someone disappear." She said it so low that if I was a human, I wouldn't have heard her. As it was, I heard it loud and clear and I got the impression that Newton was the reason why she was upset. Now if I could get her to tell me why.

"Well since you won't tell me what's wrong, I will just have to do what I can to keep you smiling." Grabbing her hand I continued on, "Starting with escorting you to class." She giggled and it made me soar. It seemed natural for me to hold her hand and even better she did not pull away. The current was humming along and it felt special. Arriving at her room I turned to her, "Here we are. I hope your day gets better and I can't wait to see you in English."

Reluctantly I released her and but we both held our fingers close until we had to both let go. For a fraction of a second I saw her frown when our hands parted and then she sighed before looking at me.

"Thanks. See you in English." She graced me with a smile and walked into her room. With a spring in my step and a tune in my mind, I walked to homeroom. Too bad my good mood only lasted a short while. I was waiting for Bella outside English when I heard Newton's thoughts. He was telling someone how he confronted Bella at work last night.

"Yea, I tried to get her to tell me if she's dating Cullen, but she wouldn't tell me. Kept saying it was none of my business. So I told her that she could do better than him, I mean he's a freak." The memories in his mind were vivid and I had a hard time controlling my temper. The only thing that saved Newton from being made part of the walls was Bella.

"You ok? You look upset. I thought you were supposed to keep me in a good mood?" She laughed and it made me focus on her. She was right, "Sorry, your right. Should we go and see what is in store for us this hour?" I bowed low and offered her my arm, "My lady."

Another giggle and she lightly placed her fingers in the crook of my arm, "Why yes my lord, we shall." We were both laughing by the time we reached our desks and I gave Newton not another shred of my attention. Once again, if only we could have stayed in that room for the rest of the day.

I decided to meet Alice and Bella after class; I wish I had a reason besides just wanting to spend time with Bella, but that was the truth. As we walked, Newton decided he needed to open his mouth, "So Bella, give any more thought to our discussion last night?" Bella's entire body stiffened and her eyes narrowed. She was angry. I reached for her hand to give a gentle squeeze, a way for me to tell her I was there for her.

She twirled around and faced Newton, "I told you last night it was none of your business. Back off, now!" Her entire body trembled and I inched myself closer. Some nameless feeling was coursing through me. I had no time to ponder it; I just knew I needed to stay by Bella.

Seeing our linked hands, Newton added fuel to the fire, "Well by the looks of it, you made your choice. The freak boy has found himself a freak girl. Too bad, you could have been mine." He sneered as he spoke and I saw red.

_MINE! She is mine!_

In a flash I was in front of Newton and I pushed him into the wall of lockers by a fistful of his shirt. I held him up off the floor by mere inches and I was shaking with the desire to kill this boy for thinking he was taking what belongs to me.

"Don't you ever talk to Bella again, do you hear me? She is with me and you don't need to worry about her." His eyes were wide with fear and I felt so powerful. With one flick of my wrist he would breathing no more and I wanted to do that so bad. I could taste the venom as it flowed.

Through my anger, I felt Alice's small hand on my shoulder. "Calm down Edward, he's not worth it. You don't want to do anything in front of Bella." Just like that, I calmed down. I could never do something as vile as killing Newton in front of her. She deserved so much more.

With one final glance at Newton I questioned him, "Are we clear on this?" He shook his head yes and I dropped him onto the floor.

Turning to look at her I was prepared to see her fearful of me. Instead what I saw was a mixture of confusion, apprehension and wonder. They swirled in her eyes. Needing the calm that her touch alone could bring I walked slowly towards her. If she ran I would not give chase, but I needed her with an intensity that was making me breathless.

When I reached her I whispered, "I am sorry you saw me lose my temper. That was unforgiveable of me. I just didn't like how he was talking about you." I hung my head, ready for whatever she had to say. I listened to her heart as it slowly calmed down. Her scent enveloped me and I inhaled deeply, letting it saturate my very being.

"Are you ok?" It was the faintest of words, but they filled me with such hope. She was concerned about me. I looked up and it was written all over her face, she was worried.

"I am fine." I gave her a smile in an attempt to give credence to my words. "I know I told him that you were with me and I'm sorry that I said that. I figured it was the best way to get him to back off. I would understand if you… I mean you don't.. or we don't…" She placed her fingers on my lips to stall my mumbling.

"It's ok, I don't mind if you don't?" Of course I didn't mind. There was so much I wanted to say and my mind was a jumbled mess of emotions and sensations that I couldn't even begin to process. All I could do was smile and nod. For now it would be enough, but soon I would tell her how much I want her to be mine.

**A/N: I hate Newton..I wish Edward would have killed him..but that was too much to write, LOL! Oh well. Please leave a review.. I respnd to all signed ones. They are like email love and we could all use some of that!**


	8. Ch 7

**A/N: Hey everyone! Sorry this took so long. I finally got over my writers block in Hidden Moon and I went on a bender!**

**Ahh.. your response to my last chapter had me laughing.. it appears I am not the only one who can't stand Newton! Some of you were even wondering why I did not just have Edward kill him? LOL.. I was tempted! ;) Maybe he will be my personal little whipping boy..hmmm**

**Anywho- you guys rock! the reviews, the fave, the alerts.. it freakin' floored me! This chapter is dedicated to Cullenstwimisstress..well cuz I know you will like it! *wink***

**As always I do not own this chatracters.. I just make them dance to my tune!**

Chapter 7

After school I found myself sitting outside the hospital. I had no real desire to talk to my father, but Alice's words rang in my memory. We were sitting in the car after the confrontation with Mike. I was still worked up and felt I could not handle staying in school. I told Bella that I needed to calm down and she said she understood. With a last lingering look, we parted ways.

I had just finished telling Alice what was I was feeling back there. The intensity of the pull that told me that Bella was mine, the strange desire to keep her from harm, any type of harm. Then there was the ferocity of emotion that threatened to overwhelm me by being near Bella.

"You need to talk to Carlisle. He needs to know all this." The look on her face told me arguing was not going to work. Deep down I knew she was right. He needed to know these new developments, but I was scared. This was so new to me and I had no idea what was real or not. I felt lost and adrift and out of control. What if he said I was a danger to Bella and I needed to stay away? Just the thought of never seeing her filled me with such pain it left me gasping.

Alice seeing the wealth of emotions that flitted across my face laid a soft hand on my shoulder. She patiently waited until I turned to face her. I could see the horror and sorrow on my face reflected back at me through her thoughts.

"He wants to help. We all do. We would never keep her from you. She is your mate Edward; we could never do that to you, even if she is human." How she knew what I was thinking, I'll never know, but her words soothed me and gave me the courage to finally seek out my father. She gave me a hug and exited the car.

"I'll keep an eye on Bella for you." I nodded my thanks and took off toward the hospital. I have been sitting here in my car for the last ten minutes trying to gather the nerve to go in. I replayed Alice's words over and over like a mantra. _He won't keep me from Bella. He wants to help. _A chirp from my phone broke into my musings. It was a text from Alice. My face broke out into a smile, it simply read; _Get in there. NOW! _I wrote her back a quick response; _Going, I promise. _Seconds later I got her reply; _I'm watching. _I laughed; I have no doubt that she would be.

With a final deep breath, I exited my car and entered the hospital. Sandy was the nurse at the desk. She smiled brightly and straightened her hair. He heart began to race and her breathing quickened.

_Oh my goodness, he's hot. Just as sexy as his father. I wonder if he's single. _I tuned her out fast as her thoughts were becoming repulsive and a little disconcerting.

"Hello Edward. Here to see your Father?" I nodded, "Yes, do you know where he is?" I tried to look somewhere besides at her directly. I didn't want to encourage her fantasies.

"He's in his office. Do you want me to call him to let me know you're here?" I shook my head, "No, thank you."

I quickly left her and her repulsive dreams. As I got closer to Carlisle's office I could hear him writing notes on patient charts. The paperwork was one part that Carlisle wished he could do without. If he could, he would doctor all day long and leave the paperwork for someone else.

I raised my hand to knock but Carlisle invited me in with his thoughts. _Come on in Edward. _I opened the door silently and entered. Carlisle was clearing his desk to give me his undivided attention. I couldn't help the flutter of nerves rolling in my gut. My emotions must have been evident on my face. Carlisle regarded me speculatively as he gestured for me to sit down.

_How are you? You look nervous. Did something happen? _I tried to swallow the lump of apprehension and fear but it wouldn't dislodge. There were so many uncertainties surrounding everything that was happening, too many variables that I could not control. I closed my eyes, trying to gather my thoughts, desperate to find the strength to place my future in my father's hands.

"You can trust me Edward. Please tell me what's going on." The mere fact that he spoke aloud, told me he was concerned. He could see the wildness in my eyes as I tried to find balance.

"I know Carlisle; I'm just feeling scared and out of control. This is not easy for me." I looked at him, hoping I would find understanding. What I found was infinitely better, compassion and unconditional love.

"I can see that. I just want you to trust me. I only want to help you." His voice was soothing and calm. There wasn't a hint of betrayal or malice. I remembered the decision I made to let my family in, to allow them to help me and have a place in my life. Talking to Carlisle would be keeping that promise.

"I know and I appreciate it. Let me start at the beginning." I took a deep breath and leaned forward. My elbows rested on my knees and my hands were folded under my chin.

"I think that Bella is my mate. I have been having more intense emotions when it comes to her. I think about her all the time. I crave her presence, her touch. I have been feeling the urge to keep her safe, like I need to guard her. Earlier today I got into an altercation with Mike Newton over Bella. He said some things that I took offense to and made mention that he would want her. All I could think was that she was _mine. _So I pushed him against some lockers and told him to keep away. But it was so much more than that. I wanted to hurt him. He had thoughts of touching my Bella and I couldn't handle it."

My voice rose higher and higher as I spoke. I was bordering on hysteria and acute longing to see Bella. I glanced at Carlisle who had remained silent, even in his mind, while I was speaking. His eyes were looking away, a sign that he was thinking and trying to organize his thoughts. Like our talk a few days ago, I would need to allow him time to process what I have told him.

"I am glad that you could trust me with this information Edward. I can see it is not easy for you. I believe you are right, Bella is your mate." For some inexplicable reason, I breathed a sigh of relief at that. He believed that Bella was mine.

"With that knowledge comes some new challenges. The first being, we need to know if Bella feels the same." He looked at me pointedly. I shrugged my shoulders, "I honestly do not know. When I was confronting the boy I told him that Bella was with me. When I mentioned to Bella that I said that just to get him to stop bothering her, she stated she did not care."

"While that is a good indication, we need to make sure Edward. We need to make sure it's the mating connection and not a school yard crush." Anger flared deep in my gut, he had no right to question Bella and her feelings. My hands clenched and unclenched several times as I tried to get a handle on my feelings.

Seeing my reaction to his words, he continued calmly. "I am not making light of anything. You know as well as I do, that the mating instinct in strong. We cannot afford for to be wrong in how she feels for you. Between you and Alice I am sure that you will be able to make that determination." The anger in me quickly dissipated as he spoke. He was right; there was no need to get upset. We could not afford to screw things up.

"Next, I need to know how deep into the connection you are Edward." I gave him a quizzical look, not understanding his line of thinking.

"Since you have had the instinctual need to defend her and protect her, the next step would be to claim her as yours. You are already on that path." I was still having a hard time figuring out where he was going with all this.

"I am not sure I understand." Was this mating connection business always this confusing, or was it just me and my luck?

"What I mean is that, you have had the urge to protect her, to defend her again potential harm, right?" I nodded my head, "The confrontation with the boy." I whispered it so low, but Carlisle heard because he was nodding his head in agreement.

"You also said that you had the thought that Bella was yours. That is the beginning of the claiming. Next you will feel the need to claim her physically." He paused, to make sure I was following what he was saying. The trouble was, I did and I was both thrilled and disgusted. He could see the confliction in my eyes and he continued talking.

"Edward, look at me." His voice was full of authority; I had no choice but to give him my attention. "The need to claim Bella in a physical sense is normal and healthy. It helps to cement the bond between mates. You need to claim her as much as she will need to claim you." I never thought that it would work both ways, but I was still warring with my moral upbringing.

"I know that you came from a time when intimacy was reserved between a husband and a wife. I can respect that, I understand it. But if you and Bella are mates, it goes deeper; it goes beyond all other types of connections. That bond is primal and intrinsic to both of your well being. But when you both lay that final claim to each other, it will mean far more than any piece of paper or vows you could speak. It will create something so rare and binding; it will become a part of your very life essence. It is a connection that can never be broken."

I listened to his word with rapt attention. I had never heard of the deep connection that the mating bond could create. I never fully comprehend the depth to which it would imbed itself into my very being, into both of our beings. Images of being with Bella flooded my brain and I became instantly hard. I swallowed the groan that was threatening to spill. Instinctively I tried to adjust myself to find some semblance of comfort.

Unfortunately my actions did not go unnoticed. With a gaze from my groin to my eyes, Carlisle tried to repress the smile and asked the one thing I wished he never did.

"Are you aroused by the thoughts of claiming Bella?" Oh my God, please, please let the earth swallow me up right now. I looked at the floor at my feet, imploring it to open just enough so I could dive head first.

"I need you to honest with me Edward. If you have had thoughts of claiming Bella I need to know. I don't think you could live with yourself if you hurt her, especially if it was preventable." The sincerity in his voice broke me from my shame and embarrassment. How could I hurt Bella? I could never do that.

"What do you mean if I hurt Bella? I would never do that, never." Even the thought made me sick to my stomach. I shuddered to think how I could ever live with myself if I did hurt her. It would be unforgiveable and inexcusable.

"If you are already having feelings of wanting to claim her, we need to take precautions until the time is right. I do not think you want to take her by force. That is no way to begin a bond." The serious tone in his voice stopped me cold. Would that happen? Could it get that far? Carlisle must have seen the look of confusion and disbelief.

"It can happen. When we find our mate, the last part to make it complete is the physical act of claiming. It can become so overwhelming and consuming that all rational thought is forgotten. There is a very real possibility that you could take her by force, even when you don't mean to. So I ask you again, have you been having thoughts of claiming Bella?"

I numbly nodded my head. "It's not so much about claiming as it is arousing thoughts and feelings. I have been aroused for long periods of time when thinking about her and I find myself craving her touch." Out of the corner of my eye I saw him nod. His face was scrunched into serious contemplation.

"I am hoping the more intense feelings can be curbed until we know for sure how Bella feels. I may have to do some research on this, just to make sure we fully understand what could happen. Meanwhile, I think you need to find an outlet for your condition." He paused and raised an eyebrow and gave me a pointed look. Was he suggesting what I think he is? He must have seen the question in my eyes. _Yes Edward, I am talking about masturbation._ "It will help; it might make it easier to be around her. If you are continually aroused when you're with her, it could intensify the claiming instinct inadvertently."

"Are you telling me to…I mean...are you serious?" I had to say the question out loud, this was just too surreal. My voice was one of disbelief. He tried to hide his smile, but he failed.

"Yes, very much so. Again Edward, this is all normal. I am sure you have heard about other males masturbating. You also have two medical degrees. There is nothing wrong with doing it and in your case it could be rather helpful, considering the alternatives. Talk to your brothers, I am sure they will have plenty to say, especially Emmett. It took a while Rosalie and him to complete their bond."

He was right. Rosalie was still dealing with the tragic way she entered this life as well as dealing with the betrayal that started it all. I vividly remember how Emmett would storm around the house, the desire and urge to help and protect Rosalie coupled with the overwhelming feeling of wanting to claim his mate was too much for him to handle. While I understood Emmett would have something to say, I knew it would come at my expense and I was not willing to endure that, at least right now. I have been forewarned by Carlisle and he had given me an outlet.

"Thank you. There is a lot I need to think about. Once we know how Bella feels, I will let you know."

"There is one other thing and I hate to heap this on your already full plate, but if it turns out that Bella has the same feelings as you do, you need to think about how to tell her about you, about the whole family." He said no more, for that was more than enough. There are several consequences and decisions that would come with telling Bella that I was a vampire. It was something I was not looking forward to, not in the least.

Once home I decided to document what had happened. I found it slightly cathartic to pour everything out to these pages. It also allowed me to replay my entire conversation with Carlisle. He raised some valid points regarding my morals and the potential risks to Bella if I could not control the mating urges. I hated the very idea that I could do anything to hurt Bella, it seemed inconceivable. I did not want to hurt her.

I still felt on edge after writing and decided that a short hunt would be in order. I was going to be with Bella for most of the day tomorrow and it would be nice to be well feed. Moments later I was flying through the forest. The cool air was caressing my skin as I flew through the air. My muscles ached to be pushed to their limit and I obliged. An hour later I spotted several elk. I slowed down and slunk to my hunting crouch, I let the draw of their blood pull me in and I gave myself over to my instincts. Three animals later and I finally felt full, almost to the point of being uncomfortable.

Back at home I realized the others were missing. A note on the table indicated that they had also gone out hunting and would be back later. I flashed to my room and decided to take a shower. I put some music on and left the door to my bathroom open. The calming sounds Debussy filled the air.

I turned the water as hot as it could go; I loved the sensation of the warmth. When I was fully wet, I just enjoyed the feel of the water as it sluiced over my body. The warmth reminding me of how it felt to be near Bella, how the heat from her body encompasses me. It's such a pleasant experience. My body began to react to the warmth and the thoughts in my head and instantly I was hard.

I groaned as the water spilled over my dick, and I briefly wondered if this is what it would feel like when I was deep inside Bella. The sensation of wet and heat was almost too much to take. I was helpless to quell the multitude of images floating in my head. Knowing that it could get out of hand quick, I knew what I had to do. I needed to throw out my outdated morals and beliefs. I needed to come to grips with the perpetual teen I was and let him loose. I also needed to do this for Bella's safety. If she was my mate, our claiming would be done properly. There would be no forcing of it.

I closed my eyes and focused and the feel and the heat of the water on my body. I pictured Bella smiling and holding my hand, the heat spreading from my fingers to my arm to my chest. Her hands were softly stroking my cheek and my jaw. Her fingers leaving little pinpoints of warmth and sparks. My hand gripped my hardened dick and I slowly began to stroke. I could not help the groan that escaped at the intense feeling of pleasure. I applied more pressure on the upstroke and swirled my hands along the head.

My mind conjured up images of Bella on her knees, her warm mouth licking up one side of my shaft and down the other. She swirled her tongue in the slit as she licked the small drops of pre-cum. My hands moved faster and faster and the Bella in my mind sucked harder and faster. My hands were moving at vampire speed and I could feel my pending release. In my mind I could see Bella sucking for all she is worth and as I came, watch as she swallowed every drop I offered. In the shower I exploded and her name came out in a cry. My head slumped to the wall of the shower. I felt truly spent and infinitely calmer. Maybe Carlisle was on to something, not that I would ever tell him.

**A/N: Ahh a little self love.. can we give Edward alittle love for that? Or give me some love? Could imagine having a birds and bees talk with Daddy Cullen..hmm makes my girlie parts tingle... Reviews..please!**


	9. Ch 8

**A/N: Here is another treat for you my lovlies! Once again, I was FLOORED by your reviews and all the alerts I received. It made my day! Of course..it could have been due to Edward in the shower... *wink* I know you ALL liked that! If I missed responding to a review I apologize, FF is having some issues responding to reviews. I will try hard to get to all of them!**

**I do not own Twilight or the characters, I do have a cup of tea- care to join me? Have fun with the next chapter!**

Chapter 8

"Come Alice, you got to give me something!" I know my voice was bordering on whining but I am beyond caring. That evil little pixie knows something and she's not telling me. The knowing smirk that greets my pleading lets me know I am right. We are on our way to school, it is Friday and I am ecstatic that I get to spend uninterrupted time with Bella. Now, if Alice would ever tell me about their conversation after I left school yesterday, I may know how she feels about me. She shakes her head as she laughs. She is getting way too much enjoyment out of making me beg. It's not my fault I can't hear Bella's thoughts. Alice is my only window into her mind and she is deliberately withholding information.

"Oh, lighten up Edward. Having a little mystery where relationships are concerned is good." I quirked an eyebrow at her in disbelief and then I snorted for good measure.

"This coming from you! Miss- I-See-Everything- So –There-Is-No-Mystery?"

She laughed at me, again. That was starting to grate on my nerves. We were almost to school and she was remaining tight lipped.

"For you I think it is a good thing. It gives you balance. You don't know what she is thinking so you have to talk to each other." She winked at me. By this time we were parked and she was climbing out of the car. A low snarl erupted, I was frustrated and she was pushing my buttons. While this may be fun and games to her, this was _my life. _A lot was at stake. She glanced at me and saw the irritation that was evident.

She let out a sigh, "Ok, we did talk about you, briefly. She was more worried that you left than anything. So when I asked her if she liked you she blushed." She let it hang there for a second. I did not see what the bid deal was about that. Bella blushes quite frequently, over very little. It's completely adorable.

"Well let me show you." She paused and showed me her asking Bella if she liked me. A blush spread on her face and down her neck. It was deeper than any blush I had ever seen on her. But what had me captivated was the slight nod of her head before she turned to face the teacher, her back ramrod straight. She didn't talk to Alice for the rest of the class and bolted out as the bell rang.

"Does that suffice for you?" She did not allow me time to answer for she turned and walked away. _However, you may want to tell her you like her. She may be more willing to open up with me. Also, don't forget that while you can't read her mind, you do have a bit more insight than you think. _With that she flooded my mind with the visions she has already had of Bella and me. As usual she was right. While I may not be able to see into her mind, I did have the benefit of Alice's visions. Trouble was that I knew that they were not always accurate. But that could be due to us misinterpreting them. I could count on one hand the number of times Alice was wrong. It's one of the reasons why we never bet against her, ever.

I was pulled from my thoughts by the sound of Bella's truck. My body turned unconsciously towards the sound. I was anxious and twitchy and all I craved was to see her, to smell her, to touch her. My body was starting to react to the very idea of her. I took a few calming breaths as I walked over to where she was attempting to park her car. I hated that thing. In seconds I tabulated an appropriate list of replacement vehicles. Ok, so I know she won't let me buy her one anytime soon, but if she is my mate, well I can dream.

The smile was already plastered on my face by the time she looked in my direction and the welcoming one she gave me was beautiful. I held open her car door as she hopped out. Simultaneously we reached for her bag and greeted each other. Her laugh was sweet and melodic. I fought down an urge to pull her close. Now was not the time. I had some things I needed to know first.

It was cute how we both walked toward school, but at a slow pace. As if neither of us really wanted to get there fast. Every so often our hands would touch and small jolts of electricity would hum through my body. I loved that feeling. Somehow my mind was invaded by Newton making snide comments about what he now called us 'The Freak Couple'. It made me realize that Bella had to work with him last night. After what happened in school, that had to be an uncomfortable night.

"Sorry I took off yesterday. I knew if I stayed, things were going to get ugly. I hope he didn't give you a hard time last night." I motioned to where Newton was standing with a jerk of my head. Her eyes flicked in that direction and she gave him an exaggerated eye roll before her mouth turned into the cutest little grimace. It was then that it hit me. While I may not be able to hear her thoughts, her body language and face were incredible indicators of how she felt. Was this what Alice meant?

"No, I handled him." She scoffed at that and my curiosity was piqued.

"What do you mean 'you handled him'? Was he rude to you? Did he make you uncomfortable?" My mind was filled with all the rude and obnoxious things he could have said. I could feel myself start to get angry, how dare he do anything to what is mine.

Bella must have sensed my agitation, for the back of her hand brushed mine and she made soothing noises.

"It's ok. He started talking shit and I told him that if he didn't shut up that I would have to show him what a daughter of the police chief is capable of doing. Of course, that statement had impact because I was stocking shotgun shells and happened to show him." Her snicker was infectious and I couldn't but help to laugh as well.

"So, do you know how to use a gun?" For some reason that thought was a bit exciting and I closed my eyes to get myself under control. No need to get hard this early in the day.

A very un-ladylike snort escaped at that question. "Edward, I can barely walk and talk at the same time and you think I could safely use a gun? No, thank you. I will leave the guns to my dad." She was right, she was extraordinarily clumsy and it was endearing.

"I guess that makes sense." I paused; there was no time like the present to figure out if she liked me. "Speaking of yesterday, I am sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable by implying that we are together. I mean, I like you, a lot. You're smart, funny, and beautiful. But if it makes you…" I was silences by two of the warmest fingers on my lips. I wanted to flick my tongue out and lick them. But all I could do was stop and stare at her where I was meet with her customary blush and a bemused smile.

"It's ok. I like you too, a lot. It doesn't bother me unless it bothers you?" There was a tremor in her voice. Maybe she was fearful that I was looking for a way out. Her eyes were downcast and she wouldn't look at me.

I placed a finger on her chin and lifted. I wanted to see her; I wanted her to look at me when I spoke. "It doesn't bother me in the least. I like you. I want to spend time with you." I gave her a smile and her eyes were full of sparkle. She was pleased by my words. Her heart was thumping erratically and it made her smell sweeter.

"I want to spend time with you as well." Her voice was soft, but there was a conviction in her tone. She was being honest.

"Good, then it's settled." With that we both reached for the others hand and sighed deeply when they connected. It was like coming home. The flow of energy from her to me was continuous and made my entire body tingle. I squeezed her hand, letting her know that I loved the feeling.

"I love that." It was said so softly that I was sure she did not want me to hear. It made me smile wider. Not only did she like me, she also felt and enjoyed our connection. Could it be possible that she was feeling a mating connection as a human and even more, embracing it? For the first time I had hope and I was going to relish in it.

With our conjoined hands I motioned towards school, "Shall we?" The wistful expression told me she'd rather be anywhere else. I as well wished I could be somewhere else, preferably with her. She nodded her head and we continued on our way. Outside her classroom I stopped and turned to face her.

"See you soon." I swung her book bag off my shoulder and placed it on hers, without thinking I pushed her hair off to one side and swept a lone finger across her cheek. It was so soft and warm. Her heart skipped a few beats and I could not help but smile at that. Her eyes were slightly unfocused and I chuckled at her. She shook her head, blushed again, and walked into her room. I had to keep from skipping down the hall like a lunatic, but the huge grin I sported could not be contained.

It was a given that I would follow her every move since I left her. I couldn't stop thinking about her. I couldn't stop thinking that she liked me, that she wanted to spend time with me and enjoyed our connection. It was all I was hoping for and it didn't take forever to find out. Of course there was a still ton of stuff to sniff out. Like if the connection would affect her in any similar way that it did me. Did it come with the urge to claim? How intense were her feelings for me?

The only downer was the fact that to truly get the answers I needed, she needed to know all about me. It was a nerve wracking thought. How do you tell someone that you're a mythical figure and that yes, vampires really do exist and one could possibly be your mate for life? It's not your typical high school conversation piece. But like everything so far, I needed to have faith.

It felt as if time passed too slowly, but soon enough I was waiting for Bella outside her first period class so we could walk to English together. The smile she greeted me with was something I could never tire of seeing. Even better was that she made the move to reach for my hand, she was seeking out contact with me. I was still amazed that the temperature of my skin was not repulsive to her or that she hasn't even made a comment about it. Could that be due to the connection? It was a thought to examine later.

Once settle in class we had no time to really talk as Mr. Berty launched into an exhaustive lecture on the sonnets we were covering. My mind tuned him out and concentrated on Bella. The heat from her body had warmed my entire right side. It was amazing. I savored the feeling, the sensation of warmth. It was during my hyperawareness of her that I realized how we moved together. It was curious. When I would shift a little to my left, Bella would shift to hers. We constantly bumped our legs and knees together, creating a low hum around us. It was like we were centered around each other and we had a need to be close and in some contact. I wanted to believe this was part of the connection and could not wait to talk to Carlisle about it.

Class ended far too quickly and before I knew it, I was walking her to her class with Alice. Speaking of the pixie, she was outside the room waiting and watching us. _You two look cozy. I take it things are going well? _I prayed that Bella did not see the smug little smile on her face. I give her a small nod and faced Bella before Alice could interrupt.

"Would like to sit with me for lunch?" Shit, why did do that? Now I am going to have to eat human food. I held back a shudder. But it's worth it just to see the happiness in her eyes at my question. I made her happy and I loved it.

"Um, sure, that would be great." Her face held a faint blush and it only enhanced her pale complexion. I gave her hand another squeeze and reluctantly left her in the hands of my sister. Now that Alice knows something is up, she is going to be relentless. _Don't worry Edward; I'll take good care of her. _I let out a small snort to let her know I did not trust her in the least. It's safe to say, I was in Alice's head the minute Bella was out of my sight and she knew it.

_She looks happy and they were holding hands. I wonder if she will talk to me about it more. _I listened as Alice asked about me. I was riveted on Bella's reaction when she flushed furiously, but admitted to Alice that she really liked me. She also admitted that she had never felt like this with anyone, ever before. If I could, my dead heart would be racing. The hope I had in me that Bella could be my mate flared and I was giddy.

_Hmm, maybe I need to spend some girl time with her, to really see what's going on. We can make it a study session. _I watched as Alice flipped through several possible outcomes before deciding that arranging a study session would reap the most benefits. She slipped Bella a sheet of paper asking her if they could do a study time. Bella answered yes and after several more going back and forth, settled on Sunday afternoon at her house. I was pleased; things seemed to be moving quite well.

Lunch wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. Alice joined us and the three of us spent time talking about music and books. Alice tried to hint about taking Bella shopping, but Bella was pretty non-committal. We were able to get away with ingesting no food as we were all so busy talking that I don't think Bella noticed. But the best thing, by far, was that I was able to keep in physical contact with her throughout lunch. Her hand, or legs, or arms, it was perfect. I even managed to lightly stoke her cheek. It was so soft and warm. I was starting to learn more about her and she was fascinating. We had similar taste in music and it gave me all sorts of ideas about possible concerts we could go to. I loved listening to her heart as it sped up or thumped irregularly. I noticed that it would happen most often in reaction to something I would do to her. Hmm, that's an interesting observation. I will have to file that away for further consideration.

If I thought lunch was the best part of the day, I was wrong, it was only getting better. We strolled hand and hand into the Biology room and took our seats. We were so busy talking that it wasn't until the excitement level in the room notched up that we realized something was going on. We both turned to the front of the room to see Mr. Banner rolling in a TV and video player. It was movie time. I would be able to spend all hour touching and holding Bella, life could not get any better right now.

With the lights off, I scooted my chair closer to her and moved her so that her back was to my front. We held hands on the top of the table and my other rested on her leg. The current was going crazy between us. I swear we were glowing it was moving so fast. My body was reacting to her nearness and I didn't have it in me to care. How could I when she was so close to being wrapped up in my arms. I moved closer still and pushed all of her hair to one side and rested my chin on her bare shoulder. She shivered in response. I made to pull back but she whimpered and leaned back, seeking me out. A thrill raced through me that she wanted me close. So put my chin back on her. I could feel her body relax and that and heard the small sigh of relief.

With me being so close I wrapped the hand that was on her leg around her waist and I held her close. I nuzzled her neck and inhaled. She smelled so good and there was something new to it. She smelled more potent or enhanced. I could not name the new scent. But on her it was delicious. I placed several small kisses on her neck and shoulder. Her heart was racing and I felt giddy that I was causing that reaction. Of course, by being so close to her and in combination of her heighted scent, I was getting harder by the second. I was almost wrapped completely around her and I had to quell the idea of pulling her closer. I did not know what she would think if she felt my hardening dick in her back.

Half way through the class she began to draw random patterns up and down the arm at her waist. Her fingers were soft and smooth and her touch only magnified the energy between us. It was exhilarating and maddening all at once. I longed to kiss her and feel her lips on me. I knew we would fit together nicely. Her curves and body molded to mine and it only added to my conviction that she was my mate. I continued placing soft kisses on her cheek, her neck, her jawbone and a sweet and soft spot behind her ear that I found. Her heart actually missed a beat when I did that and she gasped softly. I watched as her eyes fluttered at the sensation.

She was beautiful to watch. So I did it again. She had the same reactions except her scent grew even sweeter. I inhaled deeply trying to place that scent. I never would have figured it out if I didn't notice her subtle shifting of her hips, they were minute but rhythmical. In that instant I knew I smelled Bella's arousal. The knowledge made me impossibly hard and I had to fight the urge to claim her. The need was strong, but not so bad that I could not think logically. I knew the safe thing to do was to disengage us, but I was loathed to do that. Instead I locked down my urges and just held her. I stopped kissing her as I worried that may arouse her further and make it harder for me resist her.

So it was with a mixture of reluctance and willingness that I pulled away a few minutes before the end of the period. The pout of her lips nearly pushed me over the edge and I stifled a groan. Her lips were just too damn kissable and we were in no place for a first kiss. I chuckled at her expression and whispered in her ear, "I feel the same, but class is almost over." I placed a swift kiss on her cheek just as Mr. Banner turned on the lights. Bella blinked furiously against the sudden influx of light and faced me with a sweet smile.

"That was nice; too bad it wasn't long enough." The fast moving blush proved that she was a bit worried about what she said. I needed to put her at ease, let her know I was just as affected by her. "I couldn't agree more." Reaching for her hand I led her out the door and to her next class. Suddenly I could not wait till we were alone at the library.

**A/N: *sigh* I wanna make out with Edward in a classroom..heck I'll make out with him anywhere. Please leave me some love! Edward will smile on you and give you a kiss!**


	10. Ch 9

**A/N: I am sooo sorry it has been a while. Hidden Moon has been kicking my ass... anyways.. here is a special treat and we are finally to the library date.**

**All my readers rock with the AWESOME reviews and to Cullenstwimistress.. this one's for you baby! Enjoy!**

**I do not own Twilight or anything in it's awesomeness.. but I do have a brand new memory stick.. it's pink~~**

Chapter 9

I couldn't tell you what we did in gym. I was there, I am sure even Alice was there, but I have no recollection of doing anything. My mind was too busy thinking about the hours of completely uninterrupted time I would spend with Bella. It was going to be heaven and I could not wait. If it was up to me, I would have whisked Bella there after Biology.

Even now I could feel her in my arms and how perfect she felt there. Her lush curves molded along the hard planes of my body. We were two pieces of a puzzle and we just fit. End of story. Then the way she responded when I was kissing her neck and nuzzling with her, I had to suppress a groan at that memory. I had to stop my thoughts from replaying them all, I was already hard enough and there would be no time for me to take care of it once school was done.

I dressed in a rush and walked swiftly to where Bella's last class was getting out. The smile the spread across her face made me smile in return. She looked so happy to see me. I could not help but hope it means she will care for me as much as I was starting to care for her and that she could be my mate. But there was so much unknown between us and until that was settled, I would have to play a patient waiting game.

"Are you ready for our marathon study session at the library?" I tried to sound like that idea did not appeal to me but I could not contain my smile.

She rolled her eyes, "Yes. I am sure it's going to be positively boring." She gave me a dismissive wave and tried to walk past me. Oh, she wasn't going to get rid of me like that. I wrapped my arms around her waist as she walked past and I swung her in a small circle while burrowing my nose in her shoulder.

"You think I am boring? I am hurt." I spun her to see me and the exaggerated pout on my face. I even batted my eyes at her. I did not expect the rather loud giggle that erupted from her.

"You are such a bad pouter, Edward. You need practice." I scoffed at her absurd idea. I was a very skilled actor; I had to be at times. "Like you could do any better." I challenged her with a quirk of my eyebrow.

In a low, sultry voice she replied without hesitation, "Of that I have no doubt." With that she pushed her lower lip out slightly and pursed it, she lowered her face a fraction of an inch and looked up at me through the dark fringe of her lashes. Her eyes were soft and pleading and she even swayed slightly from side to side with her hands clasped in front of her. I had never seen her look more beautiful and undeniably sexy.

I had an urge to kiss her, to ease her, to hold her and protect her. I swallowed convulsively as I watched her. She was mesmerizing and there was no way I could take my eyes off her. I prayed she did not see the strain she was putting on my cock. It was painful and I was harder than I had ever been. I shifted my weight trying to find a position that would ease the ache.

"Please," the word was soft and gentle, "come spend some time studying with me at the library?" Her words were breathed low and seductive and I was putty in her hands. Words escaped me and all I could was nod.

A split second her demeanor changed and she smirked, "That is how you pout the right way." She flicked me on the nose and walked outside towards her car leaving me behind. I was so played and I loved it. I came up behind her swiftly and pulled her close. Her gasp of surprise made me laugh.

"That was cruel Ms. Swan and I will get my revenge." I heard her moan as I placed a soft kiss just below the hollow of her ear and trailed my tongue down the side of her neck and back again. She relaxed in my arms and melted into me. "Now, let's get to the library." Pushed her slightly off me and she whimpered at the lost of contact between us. I could not help the chuckle that escaped.

She threw me what I think she meant to be a glare, but the excitement in her eyes gave her away. "I'll be right there. I just realized that I forgot some material I had started to pull together at home. I should be there in like 10-15 minutes."

To say I was disappointed that I had to wait was not far from the truth, but I could deal. I mean I have been waiting for her for over hundred years; I could wait a lousy fifteen minutes. I gave her a kiss on her nose and sent her on her way. "I'll save us a table."

In a matter of five minutes I was at the Forks library, which wasn't much of anything. The library in Port Angeles was better stocked but only marginally. It was a square, one level brick building that may have been a beautiful red. Now it was weather beaten and a faded rust color. It was downright depressing. But I could not be happier; here is where I would get to spend some quality time with Bella, alone. The thought made me smile.

I found a table in one of the quieter and secluded corners. I laid out my notebooks and pens and that was when I noticed my iPod was sitting at the bottom of my bag. I knew I did not put that in there. When I looked at it closely, I notice a note was wrapped around it and then it made sense, Alice.

_Trust me, this will come in handy. You can thank me later. _

Alice… always meddling and for once I was fine with it. I placed the ear buds in and pressed play, knowing that she set it to a certain song. When the opening chords of Claire de Lune began, I felt my body relax. The nerves and anxiousness that had steadily risen higher and higher began to melt away. My breathing slowed, my nerves calmed and I felt at peace. Unconsciously I gave myself over to the music, my hands flying over an invisible piano keyboard.

So into the music that I did not realize she was there, watching me until the heating vents blew her scent my way. My eyes flew open and locked with her. She was staring at me with the most curious expression. It was a mixture of surprise, awe and love? It was hard to put my finger on it. She had this soft smile and her eyes were bright.

She sat down next to me as I paused the music. "Do you play piano? You looked really into the music. I hated to disturb you."

"Yea, I play piano and this is one of my favorite songs to play." Without asking she grabbed one of the ear buds and placed it in her ear, "Turn it on, and let me hear." I placed the other bud in my ear and hit play. Her mouth opened in shock when she heard the music.

"I love Debussy and this is my favorite song." If it was even possible, she became even more adorable. She was unlike any girl I had ever met, she astounded me. After we had let the song play out, she reluctantly turned towards our table.

"As much as I wish we could listen to music all night, maybe we should tackle these projects sooner rather than later. What do you think?"

I could care less what we did as long as I got to spend it with her. But she had a point, we did have two projects to get started on, so I nodded yes and we gathered our books. For the next hour we discussed our English project, pouring over the book lists that we were to choice our selections from. Several of the books Bella had not read and so I spent time talking about them and what they were about. It amazed me that Bella was rather well read. Out of the fifty books on the list, she had read a majority of them. Some she considered her favorites.

We were able to narrow our choices to four books, but Bella had not read two of them. She wanted to read them before we committed to the two we needed to compare and contrast. What we were able to settle on was the themes we would use for our paper, the role of society in relationships. It was a broad enough topic and all four books were excellent examples of the extremes that society could go.

The entire time we were working, we were in constant contact. We would bump knees under the table, our arms would brush against each other, and she would grab my arm when trying to make a point. Other times she would reach over and squeeze my fingers or I would brush her hair back behind her ear. There was one time when we reading summaries of the books and we both reached for the other to hold hands.

It was distracting to a point for it also meant that charge was constantly swirling around us. My body felt jittery and tingly. I had grown harder and harder with each touch and the desire to kiss her several times was nearly consuming. I refused to give in to that temptation, I was afraid once I started I would not be able to stop. So I forced myself to remain calm and get our work done. Once it was, I knew I had to kiss her.

We turned our attention to the Biology project and decided to make a list of native vegetation. Bella had the wonderful idea of getting pictures of the various trees, plants and flowers to use as background for our power-point presentation, which in turn gave me the brilliant idea to ask her to go hiking.

"Hiking?" Her voice was high and panicky. "You do know that I can barely walk a straight line on a flat surface without stumbling, right?" There was true fear in her eyes, I could not have her afraid of anything.

I held both her hands and rubbed soothing circles on the back of her hands. "Don't worry. I will be there the whole time." I paused and lifted her chin up so I could see her eyes, "Don't you know I will always catch you when you fall?"

Her eyes held me captive and she was searching mine, for what I do not know, but I was powerless to look away. I didn't want to look away. I wanted to stare into those deep pools of brown, so warm and soft, and see my future.

"I have no doubt you would never let me fall." The words were said softly, but I knew she wanted me to hear them because she stared right at me when she spoke. Reaching to cup one side of her face I pulled her close so that our foreheads touched. "I will always keep you safe. I promise." Her eyes closed and she relaxed, as if that was what she was waiting to hear and was happy I finally did.

Knowing that my control was slipping, I gave one last push towards our work. "So, will you go hiking with me tomorrow and we can start taking some pictures?" She gave me a small nod and a smile. We divided up the rest of the work which would be to research the items we were going to use in the final report. I offered to take on more of the research, but she was adamant that she pull her weight. I had to admire her for that.

With everything done that could get done we packed up our bags and headed to the check-out. Bella had several books she wanted to use to do her research. I told her that since our family hiked so much we had plenty of books at home for me to use. I held her hand as I walked her to her truck. I tried to hide the grimace when I looked at her truck. Of course, Bella noticed and became defensive.

"It's a good truck. It's perfect for me. If I drove anything else, I could be in more danger." She tried to laugh, but there was some kernel of truth to what she was saying and it only added to my frustration. She reached up to smooth the worry lines that settled between my eyes. "Hey, no moping, smile." She was right; I had no reason to be moping, not when she was with me.

"I think we accomplished a lot, don't you agree. It would be nice if we could get these out of the way as soon as possible, then we don't have to sweat them at the end of the year." I liked that idea, maybe it would mean more time with her.

"Sounds like a plan to me. So can I come pick you up tomorrow around eight, or do you want to sleep in?" I did not contain the eagerness in my voice; I wanted to spend as much time with her as I could. "Eight sounds fine." Then she looked at me and I was undone.

It was a shy smile, one that had her biting her lower lip in anxiety and I wanted to smooth it out. Her heart picked up its tempo and it never sounded sweeter. Her breathing sped up and all around us the air crackled. I slowly pulled her lip free from her teeth and smoothed it with the pad of my finger. I cupped her face in both of my hands, my thumbs circling her cheek and my fingers stroking the nape of her neck.

Her eyes darted from my eyes to my lips and there was a need, a desire that shone through. I swallowed the groan as I realized she wanted me to kiss her and I wanted to give her everything she desired. Ever so slowly I inched my face closer to her. Her breath fanned my face and it caressed my own lips, scenting them with her aroma. Her hands were fisted in my jacket and she leaned closer still, then the lightest of pressure of lips.

It was soft and tentative. Silk and marble, cold and hot and I wanted more. Gently I captured her lips and felt them mold against mine. Suddenly her lips were moving faster and I followed her lead. We moved together in a frantic pace, sucking, nibbling, pushing and demanding, she moaned and I swept my tongue into her mouth and truly tasted her. My tongue explored her mouth and soaked up her essence, I was intoxicated by her taste. She pushed herself closer to me and her hands traveled up to my hair and she pulled.

I could not help the groan that escaped when she did that and my body reacted violently. I pushed myself even closer to her, not caring that she could feel my arousal on her hip. One of my hands fisted behind her head and the other traveled down her side and around her waist to hold her to me. I could not get her close enough and I needed her to be closer.

I pulled away to allow her to breathe but just moved my kisses to her cheek, her eyes, her nose. I skimmed her jaw with my nose and then kissed my way back to her lips. I was swimming in a pool of emotion and sensation and I left myself go. It was like I was falling, but I knew I would never land. I was connected to a force too powerful. I felt as if a piece of my very being had finally clicked into place and I was almost whole. Her lips also traveled over my face and down my jaw to my neck where she licked and nibbles every inch of skin she could.

I pulled away to look at her and when her heavy-lidded eyes focused on me, I knew that she was it, she was my mate. I could feel the bonds as they wrapped who she was into me. My heart, my mind, my love, my very soul was now contained in this frail human. All that I am and will be will exist for her. But it was such an incomplete feeling for it only went one way. I wanted to be upset by this, but I knew that it was only a matter of time before she would feel the same.

Her heart was pounding so furiously against my chest it almost felt as if mine was beating once again. Her breathing was ragged and melted into me. I placed several more quick kisses on her face before I settled once more on her lips. This time I was gentle and unrushed. My hands traveled the length of her back, feeling her warmth. In my head I chanted: _mine, mine, she is mine. _

I had started the claiming and nothing else had ever felt so right, so perfect. This beautiful creature was made for me, she was my match, she was my soul-mate and I would never let her go. Staring deep in her eyes I made her a verbal promise, "I will never hurt you." I also made a silent one as well- _I will never let you go, Bella. I claim you as my mate, you belong to me._

**A/N: Soo did ya like the kiss? I did.. swoon.. lol.. OK... leave me some love! Please! With FF not allowing responses.. I'll try to write back.. but.. not sure how well that will go.. but I love reviews.. they are like Edward's first kisses...**


	11. Ch 10

**A/N: Soo sorry for the delay. I was struggling with how to move forward. I hope you like this chapter, we will see a new, and maybe even a more playful Edward! Also... a HUGE THANK YOU to everyone who reviewed! You guys truly rock my world. I mean you blew up my email.. soo can ya do it again! I am sorry if Imissed anyone when FF was having issues replying to the reviews. If I did not get to you.. my bad. Now that it is fixed I should get better at it!**

**Like always, I do not own Twilight- but I do get to play in the sandbox!**

Chapter 10

_Holy shit. HOLY SHIT! _My mind chanted those two words over and over. I couldn't believe it. Not only did I kiss Bella but I claimed her, or at least started the process, I think. _Ugh. _Her scent swirled in my head, it was on my tongue and she was delicious. My body hummed and I was still rock hard. The fantasies that I was contemplating were not helping my aroused state, in fact it was only adding to it. Now that I knew how it felt to kiss her and hold her in my arms, I wanted more. More of her kisses, her arms around me, her naked, writhing and moaning my name as…

OK, that is _so_ not helping my little problem, ok, my big problem. I needed to get home, fast. I pushed my car a little faster in anticipation of some release. The proper hundred nine year old vampire in me was cringing at my actions and thoughts, while the perpetual seventeen year old was doing a happy dance. Finally he gets to come out and play. He's been denied too long. I'll give ya one guess who I am sticking with.

The closer I was to my house the antsier I became. I had new sensations and images to play with and I could not wait. Of course, just my luck, I had someone waiting for me as I pulled into the drive way. I could not suppress the groan; this was not what I needed to see.

"Don't scowl at me Edward; I'm here to give ya a warning." _Family meeting about you and Bella. _My eyes widen at Alice's words. _Fuck, really? _Yea, my seventeen year old self has a potty mouth, sue me.

"Why? Who called it?" My eyes narrowed in suspicion. Somehow I knew this had to do with Alice, this just reeked of her meddling.

"It's not completely my fault. I had a vision while I was talking to Carlisle. I was trying to figure out how to talk to her on Sunday." I froze once she stated she had a vision. I tried to look into her thoughts but she was singing Backstreet Boys in French. I shuddered; it was horrible enough to listen to in English.

"Are you going to tell me what the vision is about now or are you going to toy with me?" There was no way she could miss the acid in my voice. I mean she is killing my buzz and I was none too pleased about it. I tried to walk past her, but she placed a firm hand on my shoulder. "I'm sorry Edward. Ever since this thing with Bella, I am getting more and more flashes of her and you. I can't control them" I had never heard her speak in such a small voice.

I sighed inwardly, this was new to us all, and I had to remember this. Alice was doing me a tremendous favor by helping me and Bella. She did not deserve my anger, she needed my patience.

"At least tell me I can hear about the vision before the others?" Hope flared deep inside that she would at least bestow this small kindness on me, she had to.

A huge sigh made me look down at Alice, "They are hazy and brief, but they all center round you and Bella. Let's just discuss them when everyone is there." I had a sneaking suspicion that she was hiding something from me, but I also knew it was useless for me to badger her. "Does everyone know what the meeting is about?"

Shaking her head, "No, Carlisle called it." That confirmed my previous thoughts. She told Carlisle what the vision was and something in it caused him to call this meeting. My mood and my dick deflated instantly. "Let's get it over with then." I am sure I was curt with her, but I hated all this attention and the fact that my family was going to be privy to my romantic life. The hundred year old vampire made a brief appearance and he was in a surly mood.

I walked into the house and made my way into the formal dining room. Since we never 'eat' there, it was used as a place for us to hold family meetings. Our meetings were passionate, loud and at times bordering on volatile. As I entered I noticed that Carlisle was at the head of the table with Esme on his left. Alice was on his right and Jasper was on her right. Rose sat directly across from Alice and Emmett was across from Jasper. That left either the foot of the table or a place by one of my brothers. Given the topic we were discussing, I chose the foot.

My face showed my displeasure at being the topic of discussion, but even more amazing was that aside from Alice and Esme no one else knew what we were talking about. Great, this was going to be a riot. My father noticed my scowl. _We are your family Edward. We are here to support you. _I rolled my eyes to show that I did not hold his same belief. My eyes darted quickly to Emmett and then back to Carlisle, letting him know I will have to deal with his ribbing. _Yes, Emmett may be a bit much, but deep down he does care for you. _

Speaking of the devil, he decided to get the freak show moving, "So, is someone going to tell me why we are here?" His eyes were full of mischief and wonder. This was not going to be fun, not at all. My scowl deepened. Carlisle looked at me to see if I was going to start talking, but I raised an eyebrow at him. He called this stupid meeting; he can do all the talking. I chuckled at that thought; it seems the petulant teenager is back. About fucking time.

Seeing that I was being a bit obstinate, Carlisle cleared his throat, looked at the family and just blurted it all out.

"It appears that Edward has found his mate." All eyes swiveled to me and I bit back a snarl. They looked at Carlisle as he continued to speak.

"She is here, in Forks. She is a human and he is showing signs of the mating connection." That got everyone's attention. Esme clasped her hands to her mouth in surprise, but her thoughts were full of joy. _Oh, Edward. I knew there was someone out there for you. I am so happy for you. I can't wait to meet her. _Her thoughts then went off in fanciful tangent. I had to tune her out. It was making me miss Bella, a lot.

Jasper and Rose couldn't believe their ears and both gaped at me in open mouthed astonishment. I wanted to flip them off, but knew I was would be admonished by Esme. Instead I gave them a _Fuck off _in my head. Of course Alice was overjoyed; she was bouncing in her seat. Emmett was just sitting there, grinning wildly. _Eddie's got himself a mate and she's human. Ohh, this is so classic Edward. That should make for some interesting bonding sex. _I kicked him under the table to let him know I didn't appreciate the tone of his thoughts.

"Who is she Edward?" Esme was trying not to pry too much, but she was dying to know everything. The question is did I want her and everyone else in my family to know about her? I know it sounds petty and a bit immature, but I wanted to keep her to myself. Everything was so new and fresh with us, I didn't want to share her. As I sat there, trying to figure out a way to not answer Esme's question, Alice nosed right on in.

"Her name is Bella and she is beautiful. She is going to be my best friend." If it was even possible she was bouncing even more in her seat. If she started to clap her hands I was out of here. Of course, Alice had to go and tell everyone about the visions she had a couple days ago.

"I have seen them together in my visions, and they _are_ mates." All eyes were on her now and she was relishing being in the spotlight. "My visions have gotten clearer and stronger; there is no denying they are mates." I sensed her pause, I just knew she was going to spill about her latest vision and I waited, anxiously. "I have had some sketchy visions of them completing the mating connection."

My body froze at her words. Did she mean what I thought she meant? Of course everyone else was shocked by her words. There was complete silence, until Emmett spoke.

"Ya mean Eddie's gonna get laid?" The laugh that burst from him shook the table and he reached over to clap me on the back. "Finally you're going to be a man. I am so proud of you." I brushed his hand aside, hard, wishing I could rip it from him and beat him with it.

"Emmett." The warning came from Esme. "We should be supportive of Edward, not give him a hard time. He has waited a long time for a mate. We should be happy for him." She turned towards me and the beaming smile made me give one back to her.

"Wait a minute. You telling me that Edward's mate is human and we are supposed to be ok with this?" Of course Rose would have an issue with this, she has issues with everything. I threw a withering look at her, she in turned glared right back me. "There are rules that are being broken here, or are we going to forget them because it has to do with Edward?"

"We are aware of the rules Rosalie. But we cannot ignore that this is his mate." Carlisle's voice was calm, but firm.

"Plus, I have seen visions of her as one of us." Alice interjected that so quickly the room was suddenly quiet.

"What? When? Were you ever going to tell me?" My voice rose with each question. My anger, which had been simmering listening to my family, was set to boil over at Alice's little declaration. My hands became fists and I was shaking. Jasper took a defensive posture next to Alice and shifted towards me.

In a flash Alice was by my side with her tiny hand on my shoulder. I fought back the urge to rip into her. "That was one of the visions I had today. The first was the one about you completing the mating connection with her; the other was her as one of us. They were not very defined, but they were clear enough. It seems that the timing for these events is still undetermined, but there is no mistaking it, they will happen." There was nothing but conviction and honesty in her voice and in her thoughts. She opened her mind and I saw the visions for myself. They were brief and fleeting, but they brought such a sense of peace to me that I could not help but relax.

Seeing that I was once again calm and rational, Carlisle prodded me to share more about Bella with my family. _There is no reason to ashamed, Edward. What you are experiencing is a natural and beautiful thing. Everyone here knows and understands that._

I knew he was right. But it was hard. I had spent my life being reserved and aloof from my family. It was a new concept for me to look at them as a support system. If I wanted to make sure that this thing with Bella was done properly, I was going to need my family.

Slowly, I talked to them about her. I didn't go into too much detail, but they knew about her scent, my inability to hear her, the feelings of possession and protectiveness, the desires to claim her and I even told them about out kiss. I kept my face down, I was nervous to see what would be on their faces. Unfortunately, I could hear their thoughts and they shocked me.

My parents were ecstatic, they were happy with the idea that I may no longer be alone. Alice I knew was all over this thing with Bella, she has always been my biggest supporter. Jazz surprised me by telling me that he could feel the beginning of the bond forming in me. He wished to meet Bella to read her emotions to see how she felt. Emmett was more focused on the fact that I may be having sex in the future and wanted to tutor me on the finer points of said sex. That was never going to happen. Rose was silent. Part of her wanted to care less who I was involved with, the other part was jealous that I found someone. I knew this reaction was just part of the vain and shallow person that she was; I gave it no other consideration.

"We still need to determine how Bella feels about Edward. Alice has been given the task of becoming Bella's friend. Hopefully Bella will confide in her and Alice can guide her. We need to support Edward. We all know the powerful emotions and sensations that come with a mating bond; I expect it will be no different for Edward and Bella." Carlisle was subtly letting everyone know his expectations were ones of support and not ridicule. _Did ya catch that, Emmett. _I wanted to say that out loud, instead I just glared at him. His wide grin was all I got as an answer.

"Are you going to tell her you're a vampire?" Emmett's question was kind and hesitant. "I am going to have to Em. If I want her to be with me I need her to know, especially if she is to become one of us."

"You would do that to her Edward?" While the question was simple, Rose's voice was laced with fear, worry and concern. I knew what she was really saying and I needed to set her mind at ease. "If she is my mate Rose, I would do whatever she asks of me. Whether she stays human or elects to be changed, it is her wish." I had given this some thought and I would do whatever Bella wanted. I am at her mercy. By the look in her eyes, she wasn't pleased, but she wasn't fussing either. It was the best response I would get out of her for now.

Esme walked over to me and hugged me, "I am so happy for you. Can we meet her soon?" I had not given much thought to Bella meeting my family. There seemed to be too much other stuff to worry about, but I could not disappoint my mother. "Maybe I could introduce her slowly, a few people at a time. Since I can't read her mind, I have no idea if she will be suspicious of how we look." A small worry line marred my mother's face. "It will all work out, I know it will." Her optimistic attitude was infectious and I soaked it up, letting her hope seep into my pores.

"If there are no other questions or concerns, I think we are done for now." Carlisle had dismissed the meeting and flew to my room. I wanted to avoid Emmett and his well meaning sex-ed lessons. I also wanted to plan out my day with Bella. I didn't want to spend all day doing schoolwork; I wanted to have some fun with her. An idea had occurred to me downstairs and I wanted to check it out.

A few hours later and a couple of new apps installed on my phone and I was ready. I packed a backpack for us for tomorrow and talked to Esme about a light lunch that would be portable. She helped me make something and pack it up. I could feel her emotions in the air. She had hope and felt joy at the idea that I could be mated. She worried for so long about me being alone. Now she felt lighter and happier. I kissed her my thanks and went to take a shower. I had a date with Bella in less than two hours.

A few hours later and I found myself in front of her house. I was nervous and didn't know why. We spent several hours together yesterday. I shouldn't treat this any different. But it _was _different. Before yesterday we never kissed. Now that we had, everything felt different. It felt as if we are really in a relationship, more than just friends. Maybe even on our way to being mates. I liked the sound of that, a lot and I was bound and determined to make sure it happened.

I knocked on the door and waited. I think I even held my breath, which I found amusing since I did not need to breathe. That was how she found me as she answered the door, with a big smile and holding my breath. The one that lit up her face was simply adorable. I couldn't help but reach for her hand.

"Good morning." My thumb made slow, lazy circles on her hand. It was so soft. "Ready to go?" She glanced into her house and then turned back to face me while she reached for a light jacket that hung on a hook near the door.

"Are you sure I don't need to bring anything?" I had told her yesterday I would take care of all the materials needed for our little photo shoot. The idea of taking care of her was appealing to me. Plus, after talking to her yesterday, I got the impression that rarely did anyone look after her. She was such a caretaker. It would be an honor to take care of her.

"I got it all." I nodded towards my car and where the backpack was stowed. "Let's get going. I even have a little fun planned for later today." I could not keep the smile off my face; I was just so fucking happy. With a small tug I pulled her outside and watched as she locked the door. I was standing so close that when she turned to walk to the car, she bumped into me. She stumbled slightly and I reached out to steady her. Then I kissed her.

It started out soft and tentative. But then I let my tongue trace her lower lip and taste her sweetness. I nibbled her lower lip and moved to the corner or her mouth. Slowly I made a trail to her ear, "I love to kiss you." I had no idea where that came from, but I didn't care. It was the truth. I pulled her closer and kissed her ear and that sweet area just behind it. I felt her shudder and heard her shallow breathing and erratic heart. My hand combed through her hair and I ended it all with a hug. I just needed her close to me, to feel her curves and warm body pressed close to mine.

When I finally pulled away her eyes were glazed and she looked stunned. I chuckled at her, I couldn't help it. "What was that?" I wasn't sure if she meant it to, but her question came out all breathless.

I smirked at her, "That was just a good morning kiss." I grabbed her hand and continued to my car where I opened the passenger door and watched her climb in. When I was settled behind the wheel, I pulled out of the driveway and began our short trek.

"Where are we going?"

"Well, my family likes to camp a lot, so I know several of the trails in the area. I thought we would start there. See how many of the plants and such we could cross off our list. Does that sound like a plan?"

She nodded her head, "Sounds fine to me. But I should warn you, I am not the most coordinated person." Her voice was hesitant and cautious, like she was nervous. I could not have her feeling that way as there was no need for it.

"I told you before, I'll always catch you. Plus it will allow me to keep you close and I like that idea." I winked at her and she blushed. A few minutes later we were at the trail head and I pulled over and off to the side. I reached for the backpack that was sitting in the back seat and met Bella as she stepped out of the car. I held up the camera and the list we had complied yesterday. "What do you want to do, take pictures or be in charge of the list?"

"I think I would do better with the camera." I was pleased she chose to man the camera, that way I could work on getting things crossed off our list faster. I wanted to spend time doing something other than school work with her. With our decision made, we set off at a leisurely pace onto the trail.

A few hours later and we had identified and took pictures of over half of our list. It was an easy couple of hours; we talked more about everything and anything. I learned more about her life in Phoenix; I told her a bit more about my life with Carlisle and Esme. I learned that her birthday was in a few weeks and instantly began to make plans. I questioned her on her likes and dislikes on everything and anything I could think of. It was the best couple of hours in my entire existence.

Around noon I suggested we stop to eat lunch. I wasn't looking forward to it, but for her I was willing to keep up the pretense that I was human. I took her to a little clearing just off the main trail and took out a blanket I had in the bag. Her eyes widen when she saw that I had thought of something like this.

"Wow, were you ever a Boy Scout? You look prepared?" Her laugh was cute and I could not help but chuckle at the idea of me being a boy scout.

I shook my head, "No, but like I said, my family goes camping, I am used to this kind of thing." I spread the blanket on the ground and brought out the simple lunch that Esme helped me make. There were sandwiches, water, chips and some cookies. It took us a few batches, but we were finally able to get some that at least looked good. My stomach rolled at the idea of ingesting human food, but its not like I haven't done it before, and this was all for Bella.

It was nice that while we ate we did not feel the need to talk. Even better was how she leaned up against me as she ate. It also made it easier for me to make it look like I was eating without actually eating. My reflexes allowed for me to throw chunks of the lunch far into the woods without her seeing.

When we were done it was time to spring my idea for a little fun. We had cleaned up the baggies that held our lunch and she was snuggled up in my arms, my head resting on her shoulder.

"I was thinking that maybe we could do something fun this afternoon. We made a huge dent in our list, the pictures look great, and we deserve a reward for all our hard work." If she heard the pleading in my voice she didn't let on.

"Well, what did you have in mind?" I could hear the slight hesitation in her voice and it confused me. What did she have to be hesitant about? All I wanted was to spend some time with her, which was all I was asking for. Was I moving too fast? Was I interpreting the signs wrong? Did she not want to be with me? She must have sensed the quiet panic in me, because she timidly started to trail her fingers up and down my arms, it was a soothing gesture that worked very well. In a matter of seconds I could feel the panic die down and a few minutes more of her ministrations and I was at complete ease.

"Have you ever heard of geo-caching?" I gave her my best smile just in case.

"Um, yea, I think. Isn't that where you use GPS to find a certain location where things are hidden?" She raised a quizzical eye at me and I could not help but chuckle.

"Yea, that's close enough. The cool thing is that with all the trails around here, this is prime location for it. Here check out this app I put on my phone." I took my iPhone out of my pocket and opened the app that showed the location of the nearest geo-cache locations. Handing her the phone I let her learn a little more about it.

A few minutes later she spoke, "They say here that people sometime leave little things behind, we don't have anything, or do we?" Smiling I reached into the backpack and took out the little bag of trinkets I had picked up. She peeked inside and found a small rubber bouncy ball, a polished quartz stone, a 1918 penny I had, and one of my small tin soldiers from when I was a small boy. The delight she took in examining each of them was fascinating.

"So, what do you say? Are you game?" She appeared to ponder the idea for a few seconds before she nodded enthusiastically. Together we looked over our options and realized we were close to a few of the caches. We picked out and loaded the coordinates into the GPS app I had downloaded. I allowed her to navigate.

I should confess that I did that to allow me to keep an arm on her at all times. I mean she is a bit clumsy and I do want to keep her safe. As we walked we continued to just talk. I asked about school in Phoenix and if she had any other boyfriends. I was surprised when she answered in the negative. Did the boys in Arizona even have eyes? She is gorgeous, smart and funny. What more did you need in a woman?

About an hour later we found the first stop nestled next to a fallen tree. The box was a heavy black metal and once we opened it we signed our names to the log and looked at the trinkets. "Do you want to pick what we take and what we leave?" I gestured towards the box and I pulled out the bag of trinkets. She turned to ponder the few things that were in there. She pulled out a small rock that was painted to look like a flower. She held it up to me.

"Pretty isn't it? I wish I could be creative like that?" I held out the bag I brought and she pulled out the bouncy ball. "I used to love these things as a kid." She placed it in the box and we looked up the next location and headed out.

As we made our way there I made the mistake of asking about life after Forks High, I was only curious, to see what she wanted to do and if there was a way for us to share in those plans.

"Ugh, I have no fucking clue!" I was floored by the passionate outburst and by the swearing, which was kinda hot. "I have to be only person who has no idea what she is doing? Knowing my luck, I'll end up at Newton's for the rest of my life." A beautiful scowl was etched on her face and her mouth fell into a most adorable pucker. It made me want to kiss her lips.

Instead I swung her in my arms to face me. "Come on, it can't be that bad, can it? You're smart. What do you like to do?" I vowed that whatever she wanted to do, I would help her achieve it, I could deny her nothing if it is her heart's desire.

She heaved a big sigh, "I really don't know." Her voice ended on a sigh. This sounded like it bothered her. So I tried another tactic.

"Well, if money was no object, what would you want to do?" I peered at her anxiously. A feeling in my gut told me that her answer would be pivotal, like it could be a deal breaker. Of course, it made no sense to me, but still, the feeling was there and I could not shake it.

A pensive look flitted across her face, and then it turned wistful. "I would love to write. I am not sure what, but to be able to just write, that would be heaven." I watched the emotions that played across her face. This was truly a dream of hers. My vow then turned into an oath. If she was my mate and agreed to be turned, she would be able to write to her heart's content, I would see to it.

I pulled her gently to me and hugged her close, "Never give up. Dreams have a way of coming true when you least expect it."

**A/N: Soo.. did ya like this Edward? He is really letting go! As always.. reviews are welcome and they make me feel good.. soo go make me happy!**


	12. Ch 11

**A/N: Back with another update. Thanks to cullenstwimistress for her help in making this chapter shine! You rock lady! ;) To all my wonderful readers and reviews- what can I say? You constantly astonish me when all your kind words, your alerts and faves... I mean... it chokes me up! So THANK YOU!**

**As we all know, I do not own Twilight, I do own a pair of comfy slippers.**

Chapter 11

"Fuck!" The word came out as I listened to another one of my calls going straight to voice mail. Something is wrong, I know it. It has been three days since I have seen her and I have spoken less than a handful of words with her since. Even my texts have gone unanswered.

I pulled at my hair in frustration. The urge to simply destroy something was paramount and I tried to walk off the excess energy and fury that was coursing through my body.

That was how Jasper found me, pulling at my hair and pacing like a caged animal. I was sure my eyes were just as wild. I was beyond caring how I looked; I just wanted to know why she was not talking to me.

"Still no luck getting through to her?"

I threw him a _what-do-you-fucking-think _look. Not trusting the words that would come out if I answered him, I just shook my head. I was glad that we were going to be going home later today. Come hell or high water, I was going to be getting answers from Bella. This was so not like her and I found it disconcerting.

With a chuckle, Jasper clapped my back. "Women, they will drive you crazy, but they are so worth it." He raised his eyebrows as to suggest there was hidden meaning. My face must have betrayed my confusion. Another chuckle, "That's right, you still have your V-card. Well, hopefully you will know what I mean, eventually." With that he took off running.

I wanted to throw something at him and his condescending attitude; instead I flipped him off and flopped onto my back. I knew something was wrong, I could feel it. Ever since our first kiss over a month ago, I felt more connected to Bella. Each day it grew stronger and stronger. Needing to do something, I looked back, trying to figure out if there was an explanation for her behavior, something that I may have missed.

Life got better after our library date. We were almost always together. Some days we would go to the library to work on our projects, other days we would just hang out. It was heaven. The Sunday after our first date, Alice went to Bella's house for a 'study session'. In actuality it was an attempt to find out how she felt about me.

Since the claiming had started on my end, I was feeling more on edge and anxious. I was worried that my feelings would not be returned and that I would spend the rest of my existence alone and pining over a woman who did not want me. But luckily that day, Alice did find out that she liked me…a lot!

She spoke with Alice about how she looks forward to seeing me in school; she feels comfortable and safe with me and feels a weird connection towards me. I wanted to jump for joy when I heard about that. She even commented on my kissing ability, which I have to say, added a little swagger to my walk. In all, it appeared that she felt the mating connection; it just didn't make much sense to her. Now, without a doubt, I need to tell her what I am. It was the only way to explain everything that had been happening.

To add stress to everything, ever since that day, Alice's visions of us have gotten stronger and more frequent. She has seen the mating bond and it appears it will happen when there is snow on the ground. I was not thrilled with that one; all it meant was that I needed to wait even longer to complete the bond. She has seen several of Bella as a vampire, but they are still hazy. Alice feels it is because there is still a decision that needs to be made.

There have been visions of her with my family, as a human. This pleased Esme who was dying to meet Bella. Even Emmett was excited to meet her. He was looking forward to having a little sister. He didn't care if she was human or vampire. In all, my entire family was looking forward to meeting Bella and making her part of the family.

So I started with small steps. A week after the library I brought her to meet my parents. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I knew she would see the similarities in our features and knowing her it would make her curious. All I could do was hope for the best. When she arrived, Esme was beside herself with joy. She was bouncing so much she looked like Alice. Carlisle had to keep a hand on her to keep her from rushing Bella and hugging the stuffing out of her.

We sat and talked at the kitchen island. Esme asked her about her parents and life before Forks and Carlisle inquiring as to her welfare. Bella asked them about how they met and was excited when they told embarrassing stories about me. Both were quick to think on their feet and they both had her laughing,

In the end, she liked my parents, made no comment about how similar we looked and I even got her into my room. There, it was easy to forget the outside world. She looked over my music and book collection. We talked about everything and anything. It was the perfect evening.

Ok, yes, there was kissing involved, lots and lots of kissing. I mean that _is _why I got the bed!

A few weeks later it was her birthday and I wanted to spoil her. It's not every day that she would turn eighteen. My only problem was what to give her that didn't give away how much I was in love her. With a little help from Alice and my mother, I settled on what I felt would be a perfect evening.

A few days before her birthday, I went and spoke to Chief Swan and got his approval to take her out. I was surprised by how difficult it was to read him. I only caught snippets of his thoughts. What I did catch was his devotion to Bella and his desire to keep her safe. He wasn't quite sure what to think of me, but he was having trouble finding fault with my manners and politeness.

Did I ever say how much I enjoyed being able to read minds in situations like this?

Alice was giddy about the idea of shopping for a dress, but was not pleased that I planned on coming with. She wanted to pick it out herself, but I wanted to make sure it would make Bella comfortable. We compromised and I told her that she could spend time with Bella and get her ready. Her squeal of delight almost shattered my eardrum.

As the day drew closer and closer to her birthday, I grew more nervous. Bella knew that I was taking her somewhere, just not the exact details. Of course that did not stop her from trying to weasel them out of me.

"Come on, Edward. Please?" Her eyes were wide and soft, there was a slight pout in her lips and the words were on the tip of my tongue to tell her.

"Don't cave now Edward, it will ruin the surprise." Thank God Alice saved the day. I would have caved if she would have thrown in another 'please'. In an attempt to look mad, I threw Bella a withering look. Unfortunately it last about one second before we both laughed.

"Nice try Bella, but no dice. You have to wait." I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her cheek. The warmth of her enveloped me and it felt so good. I wished we could stay wrapped up in each for forever.

Bella tried to pout again but instead of telling her I just kissed her lip every time it jutted out. After a few minutes of this I had her laughing. It was an amazing sound.

When the day of her birthday surprise finally arrived, I was a mess of nerves. Alice made Em and Jasper take me out hunting. I did not want to go, but I knew it was one way to calm down. As we left, Alice went over to Bella's with the dress and started to get her ready. That hunt had to be the most distracted one I had ever been on. I couldn't tell you what I ate, if I even did.

Once home, I showered and dressed in the clothes that Alice had lain out; black dress pants, a deep blue button down shirt with a skinny black tie. I tried to tame my hair, but gave up. Bella loved to run her fingers through it so I figured she must like it messy. I grabbed the envelope with our tickets, my keys and jacket and ran down the stairs.

Alice met me at the steps leading outside. "She looks beautiful." She ruffled my hair as she walked by. I tried to glance in her mind to take a peek but was met with her singing in Spanish.

"Nice try, but you had to know I was gonna block ya. " She laughed at my disgruntled low growl. "It would ruin it for you and you wouldn't want that. Go have some fun."

I went to my car and pealed out. The pull to see her and be near her growing in intensity the closer I got to her. I never felt truly at ease unless she was near. Carlisle told me it was the connection, growing as we got closer to each other. I was worried about when we finally completed the bond, but Carlisle did not. He explained that once it was complete there would be a sense of peace. With the bond comes the knowledge that you are with your mate for life. Nothing or no one can tear that apart.

Hearing that set me at ease. It was nice knowing that she was it for me that no one, not even the Newton's of the world, could take her from me. Now I just needed to get her to where I was. But before that, there needed to be the talk. Not wanting to stress out even more than I already was, I shook those thoughts from my head and concentrated on tonight.

I pulled up to the curb by Bella's house and reached into the glove compartment and took out the small wrapped box. It was slim and wrapped in pale blue with an ivory ribbon. I searched for an entire day and it took Alice finding it online. It had to be perfect and it needed to convey all that I could not tell her right now, not until she knew about the bond.

Seconds later I was at her front door, knocking. I could hear her rushing around inside and Charlie telling her that he was getting the door. I laughed as she mutters to him to be nice to me. As Charlie opened the door I schooled my face into one of calmness and politeness. I knew how to play the game. I smiled at Charlie as the door opened wide.

"Good evening Chief Swan. I am here to pick up Bella." He eyed me for a few seconds. If it wasn't for the fact that I went to ask his permission first, I have a feeling he would have refused to allow me to enter. As it was, his thoughts were grudgingly cordial and he stepped aside to let me in.

I looked around the living room and was greeted with a graceful vision. Bella was coming down the stairs and she was breathtaking. The deep blue of the dress was offset by the paleness of her skin. The sleeves were capped and the hem of the dress was asymmetrical and fell to her knees. It flowed with her body and I drank in all her curves. She was absolutely exquisite.

"You look beautiful tonight." I reached for her hands and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. Her heart was thudding and the beginning of a slight blush was creeping onto her face. It only enhanced her otherwise natural beauty.

Charlie cleared his throat when he thought we were getting a little too close. "Straight there and back like we discussed Edward." He attempted to give me what I was sure meant to be a menacing scowl. But to me it came out looking like he was constipated. I had to stifle a laugh at that thought.

"Yes, sir that is the plan." I turned towards Bella and held out the small box. "Before we leave I wanted to give you this. Happy Birthday, Bella." Gently she took the box and looked at me.

"You didn't have to, you know." She had trouble containing the smile on her face as she gently unwrapped the gift. "Oh, my, it is so beautiful." Slowly she held up the small platinum charm bracelet and slowly fingered the charms that were already there.

I gestured to the bracelet, "May I?" She nodded and I took it from her. Touching the charms, I told her why they were there. "The book is for your love of books, the rose is to represent your beauty, this stone is to represent your birthstone and the sun is because you of your warm personality."

What she didn't know was that the birthstone was a real sapphire and that there was room for a Cullen Crest charm for when she becomes my mate. Gently I clasped it on her wrist and stroked the delicate skin on the inside of her wrist. I could feel her pulse thrumming.

"It is absolutely beautiful, thank you Edward."

I smiled and nodded." We should get going. Thank you again Chief for allowing this." I nodded to him while Bella gave him a hug.

We headed toward Port Angeles and the entire time she tried to get me to tell her what we were doing. It was only when I threatened to blindfold her that she finally stopped. I drove to the pier and she looked around. It was lit my millions of twinkle lights and hanging lanterns. It reflected off the water giving the whole area a heavenly look. The huge amphitheater was buzzing with noise as the musicians ran through their tune ups. Once we parked and I helped her out of the car, we walked silently to our seats. Her entire body was vibrating with the need to ask me what was going on, I could feel it in my hands as I guided her to our seats.

She turned towards me with bright and excited eyes; I could see the question at the tip of her tongue. I leaned over and whispered in her ear, "It's the Seattle's Symphony's Twilight Concert." Her eyes were bewildered and that adorable pucker between them appeared. I couldn't help myself; I reached over and smoothed it out.

I continued to explain to her, "Every year the symphony performs in local communities as part of their Twilight Concert Series. When I found out they were playing here, I decided I wanted to take you. Tonight they are performing selections from composers we both like including Debussy. I thought you would enjoy it." My voice fell off at the end; suddenly I was worried that this was a bad idea.

I must have had a troubled expression as Bella reached over and smoothed the lines between my eyes and smiled. No, it wasn't any smile, it reached ear to ear and it was so brilliant I was almost blinded by it.

Softly her lips pressed to mine, then to my cheek, my temple and then to my ear. "It is perfect. Thank you." The little puffs of warm air as she spoke sent shivers down my arm. It was sensual and erotic and all Bella. I had to squash my instincts to ravish here right here, right now. Instead I clasped our hands and squeezed gently.

"You're welcome. Happy Birthday, my Bella." My finger trailed a soft line from her jawbone to her ear and my hand went to her nape and pulled her closer. The kiss was sweet and tender, we moved in harmony and with grace. Her mouth parted and when her tongue peeked out I nibbled on it gently. With my tongue I traced her lips and then swept inside when she granted me entrance.

So wrapped up in what we were doing I did not notice the orchestra was ready to play. At the first sound of the timpani drums we were both startled and started laughing as we pulled apart. We both turned towards the stage and spent the next two hours wrapped up in the magic of the night. Our hands were always clasped and towards the end, her head laid on my shoulder. It was the perfect evening.

The weeks after that, it appeared that we were getting closer and closer. We kissed all the time, we held hands, we talked and sometimes we just held each other in silence. I was anxious to take our intimacy a bit further, but until she knew who I was and what was going on between us, it just didn't seem right.

My siblings were getting antsy to meet her and on some level, Bella was as well. She asked about them and why she had not met them. Luckily the cover story of them being in college helped. Except for Jasper, Alice had already told her that he was waiting for her so they could go to school together, but since they hung out mainly at Bella's house that was easily diverted. But if I was honest, I wanted her to meet my brothers and other sister. I wanted them to meet her and see how wonderful she was. I wanted Bella to get comfortable with my family. If things went the way I wanted them to go, she would be a part of us for a long time.

I knew the time to tell her what I was needed to be soon, but I was scared. I have asked Alice several times to tell me how it will go, but she hasn't seen anything. So I hold on tight to the visions she has had of Bella as a vampire. That had to mean that she found out about me and she would eventually be ok, right?

"Ugh, this is so fucking frustrating." I pounded the earth that I was laying on. Knowing it was fruitless; I whipped out my phone and stared at it. No texts, no voice mails and no calls. Impulsively I threw my phone and as I listened to hear it shatter I heard a chuckle instead.

"Nice, a phone coming out of the blue. Too bad mine is better than this piece of shit." Emmett's booming laugh did little to dispel the tension I was feeling.

"We have the same phone asshole," I muttered. Of course he heard.

He plopped down beside me and gave me a pensive look. "Girl problems? I still say you just fuck her and get it over with."

I knew he was joking and decided not to expend the energy to kick his ass for suck a crude comment. "Emmett," I gave him a warning. If he continued, I would kick his ass. He held his arms in surrender and handed my phone back to me. I placed it on the ground and began my furious pacing. "She's not calling me." I blurted that out in the most juvenile way possible, I think I even whined.

Emmett chuckled and rolled his eyes. _You're suck a fucking newbie at girls it is ridiculous. Haven't you ever heard of playing hard to get? Sheesh. _That, ladies and gentlemen, is my brother, dickwad extraordinaire.

I pinched the bridge of my nose with my fingers in exasperation. "There is something wrong Emmett, I can feel it. She has never ignored me like this. And before you think it, she is NOT playing hard to get either. You understand the mating connection, it's not like that." He looked at me for a few seconds and nodded. He knew. The connection doesn't allow you to fuck around, not once you have started the bond, and I have. So while she hasn't started it on her own, she has to be feeling something from me. Even as a human. I mean that is what she is telling Alice, that she feels something.

"Let's go for a quick hunt, take your mind off it. Then we can go home and you can go see her."

I could see the wisdom in his words and nodded. We passed Jasper and let him know we will be back shortly. A few deer and hour later we were back in the clearing. We were packing up when I started looking for my phone. I was freaking out that I could not find it.

"Hey, have you guys seen my phone?" The panic in me was rising the longer that I couldn't find it. I was rummaging in my backpack when it was waved in front of me. I looked up to see Jasper holding it.

"How did you get it?" I was harsher than I should have been but my emotions were spiraling out of control.

"You left it on the ground." He was calm; he did not take offense to my coarse words. Guilt and shame flooded through me and I knew it was not from my brother. "You have a voice mail."

I took the phone and walked away as I pulled up my voice mail. I had one missed call and it was from Bella. My hands began to shake as I pushed the button to get to the message. I took a deep calming breath and reassured myself that everything would be ok. Then I heard her voice and I stood still.

"_Umm, yea Edward it's umm Bella. Ah, sorry that I umm haven't talked to you, umm. When you um get back, can you come over? Ahh, no matter the time, Charlie is working the nightshift. I want to um talk?"_

That was all it said. I should know, I replayed the message five times.

My stomach bottomed out and suddenly I had a terrible feeling that this talk wasn't going to be a pleasant one.

**A/N: Ok.. its a small cliffie.. dont hate me! Okay? Leave me some love, and maybe you can comfort Edward! **


	13. Ch 12

**A/N: Ahhh you people crack me up! All wanting to know what Bella was up to.. well ya get your chance- its time for another BPOV!**

**Thanks soooo much for all the reviews, faves, alerts and well for everything! You make my day! **

**As always: I do not own Twilight- Ms. Meyer does.. but I get to mess in her playground! ENJOY!**

Chapter 12

_FUCK! _I threw a scowl at my computer and flung myself back into my chair. I had been staring at the same thing for a few hours and it hadn't changed. In fact, I had been staring at the same page for the last few days and nothing ever changed. I closed my eyes but that was no use as the words just floated behind my eyes. It was impossible and crazy. How could I even contemplate this?

"Ugh, this is insane!" I flew off my chair and began pacing. I needed to get my shit together by tonight, which is when he gets home. He had to know something was up. He was calling and texting me on a regular basis. I could not ignore him forever. Or could I? A slight twinge in my heart answered that as well. The thought of never seeing him made me hurt. It was crazy and strange. But it had always been that way.

Knowing that my pacing was getting me nowhere, I flopped on my back onto my bed. Once again, no answers were to be found there either. I was getting nowhere fast and by looking at the clock on my bedside table; I had only a few more hours before he returned. Then I would need to decide something, but what? I mean all of this was just plain insane, right? It can't be true.

What I needed was to shower, to let the steam and the warmth cocoon me and give me time to organize my chaotic thoughts. But what I was dealing with would take more than a simple shower, so I decided to take a rare bath. The tub in the house was less than ideal, but I am desperate and not going to be picky. I was grateful that Charlie was sleeping. He had the night shift and would need to get up in a few hours.

I started the bath and added some fragrant salts. In my room I pulled my hair into a quick, but messy bun and gathered my pajamas. I grabbed a few candles as I hated taking a bath with all the lights on, it seemed too weird to me. I placed the candles on the bathroom counter and lit them. When the lights were turned off, there was a soft glow from the flames. I sat on the toilet as I waited for the water to fill the tub.

I tried to think back to everything that had happened in the last few weeks. It had been amazing and I knew it was because of Edward. A soft sigh escaped as I thought of him. Everything between us had been perfect. I felt comfortable around him, relaxed and safe. Never had I ever experienced such intense feelings for anyone. But with him, they were effortless. The way he treated me, it was sweet and gentle. The way he kissed me ran the gamut from chaste and soft to intense and full of raw passion it left me dizzy.

That is why this is so hard on me. I knew who Edward is; I have seen his heart and soul. I have watched as he takes care of me in the smallest ways, he makes me feel cherished and adored. But to think that I have been missing something, that there is something more to him, well, it left me baffled.

I thought back to my birthday and how utterly spectacular it was. He had listened to the things that I liked and planned a night out that reflected them. I mean, it's not normal for a seventeen year old boy to be that attentive, is it? But he is, to everything. He sometimes knows what I need before I do. Not to mention that wonderful electric spark that flows between us whenever we touched. He was everything I could ever want in a boyfriend if I had to design the perfect one.

When the tub had finished filling, I slipped into the warm water and let out a small groan. The tension in my muscles from the last few days slowly dissipated. Closing my eyes I let my thoughts continue to wander back to Edward. It has only been a few weeks, but I felt like I knew him, the real him. Even better, I let myself go when I was with him. Gone was the shy, awkward Bella who hated attention. With him I felt as if we were the center of the world and nothing could penetrate our little bubble. I longed to make him happy, to see him smile that sexy crooked grin. Then there was his laugh, low, throaty and musical all at the same time. It made my entire body tingle.

Hell, everything he did to me made me tingle. I had enough material for my own spank bank to last me for some time. On second thought, scratch that, I would _never_ run out of material. I had to admit it helped that we had an affinity to kiss whenever we could. It was like we both could not get enough of each other, which was fine by me.

So where did it go wrong in the last few days? I didn't need to ask, but I needed to process everything and this was next. For about the millionth time in the last few days I wished I had never went with Charlie to the Blacks. I mean I barely remembered Billy and his two daughters that I had hung out with. The two of them were gone, leaving behind their younger brother, Jacob. He was a nice kid but he seemed taken with me, which was not helping matters.

It was Wednesday and I was hoping to spend time with Edward. I knew that the next day he would be gone on an extra long weekend camping trip. Edward was not looking forward to it and I could tell he wanted to hang out. But that wasn't going to happen as Charlie told me we had to go to La Push and have dinner with the Blacks. I tried to get out of it, but Charlie was adamant. So I had to cancel on Edward. I did not tell him why, just that Charlie had made plans for us.

I tried to call him when I was there, but that was quickly abandoned when I got glares from Charlie. Instead I settled for a few well placed texts. The evening at the Blacks started off nice. I kept to myself and tried to limit my interaction with Jacob. He was smiling too brightly and eager. He reminded me of a dog. Of course I couldn't help but notice Charlie smile each time Jacob moved closer to me and tried to talk to me. Could they be any more obvious?

With dinner done I needed to get air, it was suffocating in that small house. I sat on the back steps and faced into the calming forest. I wished that I was with Edward and sighed with contentment whenever I thought of him. Seconds later that sigh turned into a groan of frustration as I heard Jacob make his way back to me. It was time to put him in his place.

I waited as he plopped next to me, once again, smiling from ear to ear.

"What you doing out her by yourself?"

"Thinking of my boyfriend." It sounded lame to my ears, but that was the only word to encompass what he was to me. If I had a choice I would use ones that reflected the need in which I had to have him in my life. I wanted to laugh at my crazy mind. I knew that I could not survive without him; I needed him as much as I needed air. I just didn't think he felt the same.

"You got a boyfriend? Should have figured, you're kinda hot."

Sheesh, could you be any more blatant there Jacob? Not bothering to really address his words, I continued, "Yea and he is leaving for a few days and I really wanted to spend some time with him before he left. Instead I am stuck here." Please let him take the hint I prayed.

"So, who's the guy? Would I know him? Is it serious?"

I had the desire to hit him. I am not sure why, I mean I am not a violent person, but OMG, he sure brings it out in me. Forcing my voice to turn bitchy I answered, "Edward Cullen, I don't think so and yes." I narrowed my eyes at him. This was beyond ridiculous. _Get the hint little boy, back the fuck off. _If he noticed the look I was giving him, he didn't say anything. Instead his eyes widened with some form or recognition.

"Did you say Cullen?" There was a touch of fear laced within his words.

'Yes, Edward Cullen." I said each syllable of the name slowly and carefully. I liked the feel as it fell off my tongue. I wondered what he tasted like other than his lips. Hmm, where did that thought come from? I shook my head trying to clear it as I could see that Jacob's lips were moving but I was not hearing the words.

"Umm, what? I was spacing out for a second." I honestly could care less what he was saying, but his face had a strange tinge to it and I was concerned. He looked like he was having a seizure, and I wondered if I needed to get his dad. I rose up from the step and was going to head back into the house when he grabbed me by the wrist and forced me to stop. His grip was surprisingly strong.

"There are some, umm, myths and stories of my tribe." He looked hesitant now that he was back to breathing normally. I had no idea why he was telling me about some myths. I hitched my eyebrow at him in an attempt to show my annoyance. Not as if he would get it, he was pretty thick headed and kinda dim-witted.

"My dad says that the Cullen's are part of them. I think they are bunk, but umm, everyone feels strongly about them. Since he's out of town, can we hang?" Does he get whiplash from changing directions that fast? I know I did.

"What do you mean the Cullen's are part of your stories? I mean they have only been in Forks for a few years. Myths are usually a bit older than that." I could not help the sarcasm that spewed out. But seriously, is he really that clueless?

A sheepish look passed on his face and then he shrugged. He fucking shrugged! Seriously, you're not scoring any brownie point here mister. He must have seen that I was not digging him or what he was saying.

"I mean, according to my dad they were here years ago, like decades ago. And well they fit into our myths…" He trailed off and I was getting ready to press him for more details when the back door opened again.

"Bells, time to go. I have an early shift and you have school." UGH! Now I will never figure it out. Jacob looked a bit crest fallen that I was leaving. So of course I had to be a bit of a bitch, and jump up the stairs eagerly, I hardly looked at him as I left.

"Thanks Jacob." I waved with my back to him and walked back into the house. "Nice to see you again, Billy." I waited by the door as Charlie was saying his good byes. By this time Jacob had made it back in the house and was trying to maneuver over to me. Not liking the look in his eyes, I reached out for Charlie.

"I'm kind of tired, can we go?" I tried to ham it up, not sure if he believed me or not, but I was beyond caring.

"Sure, let's go." With that we both walked outside and I jumped into the cruiser and was all bucked up before Charlie could sit down. To play up the charade I leaned my head back and closed my eyes. I did not realize I was holding my breath until I felt the car begin pulling away. But once we were moving, I exhaled, loudly. I escaped Jacob and I could only hope I did not have to do that every again.

As Charlie drove, my mind turned over what Jacob was saying. I mean it made no sense, but somewhere deep inside of me I felt like it meant something. There was something vital in what Jacob was trying to tell me and it would have a significance importance on my life. I wanted to smile at my melodramatic thoughts, but I could quite shake them.

Once back at home, we went our separate ways. Charlie when to bed and I headed into the shower. It was there that I let my mind run free. I had always thought there was something with the Cullen's. I mean how could I not? They were perfect. Everything they did looked effortless. But, when I took the context of what Jacob said tonight, I was left feeling as if there was a huge piece of the puzzle I was missing. It was aggravating. In the end, even the shower did little to help me figure anything out, but I was exhausted. I collapsed into bed and fell asleep instantly.

My dreams were fragmented and disjointed. There were dark shapes, full of foreboding and then there were pockets of intense sparkling light. I could tell there were people around me, I could feel their presence, but they had no defined shape. One of them I felt a strong pull towards, but did not know who or what it was. But it was warm and all encompassing and it felt safe and secure. There was no fear, no worry, just an overwhelming sense of belonging and of being home.

I woke with a start and with my alarm blaring. I slammed it off and went to start the first day without Edward. It was not as bad as I thought, but still awful enough. I ducked out of lunch and used the computers, I could not shake last night off and it was starting to annoy me.

I began my search generic enough and researched Quileute legends. I lucked out that there were several books on the subject in the school library and was able to check them out. I only had a few minutes left to the lunch period and so I scanned the rest of the websites, but found nothing that jumped out at me.

The rest of the day dragged as my attention was on the books sitting in my locker. I was drawn to them and the mystery that the possessed. I all but flew out of the locker room at the end of the day and pushed my decrepit truck to its limits in my rush to get home. I whipped up a quick dinner and placed it in the oven to heat up.

I bolted up to my room and yanked the books out of my bag. Over the next hour and a half, I poured over the books. I learned all about their spirit warriors and their transformations into wolves. I learned about the cold ones but not really sure what they were. So I Googled them and that is when I froze.

I'm not sure how long I stared at my computer, but it was my phone alerting me that I had a text that brought me back to the present. When I checked it was Edward.

_Thinking of you and missing you. E _

I stared at the text and then my computer and back again. The beginning of some revelation was brewing but I was saved by Charlie coming home and the buzzer to the oven going off. I slammed my computer closed and tried to push everything out of my mind.

The following day I went back and read everything I could about the cold ones. While most of what I was reading felt like garbage, there were still too many things that struck a chord with me. I did not want to make the comparisons, but my mind would not listen to me.

I slid down under the water, hoping in vain it would wash away all the crazy thoughts. I mean, could I honestly be considering what I was thinking? I sat up in the tub and gulped in air. The water sluiced down my body but I kept my eyes shut. Behind my eyes I saw images of strong creatures, blood and death. It was gruesome. But I also knew deep down inside that Edward wasn't like that. I knew that there was goodness to him. He had a kind heart and a gentle soul.

I needed a better plan of attack, an easier way to cut through all the bull shit and figure things out. It was imperative that I do so, I could feel it. Not making things any easier on me were all the calls and texts from Edward. I could sense his tension and his concern. I read every text and listened to every voice mail. He was so sweet and kind. He deserved better than what I was treating him. Plus, with him returning later tonight, I needed to get my shit figured out fast.

I closed my eyes and cleared my head and took deep calming breaths. I willed all the crazy ideas, stories and myths out of my head. I focused on Edward. His honey colored eyes, the way he smiles when he laughs at my jokes, the way he touched me and how I could feel his kisses all the way down to my toes.

I have never felt that way about anyone like I do about Edward. He treats me as if I was a princess. With him I feel beautiful, cherished, adored and do I even say, loved…?

So, now, the tricky part. What if, everything is true, what then? Would I care for him even less, would I not want to be with him? I tried to picture not seeing him anymore, never kissing him or feeling that wonderful tingle. When I tried to do that, it hurt. My chest actually hurt. I felt as if I was trying to sever invisible binds and was unable to. I was connected to him; I felt it deep inside me. So, if never being with him is not an option, then all there was left was to be with him, plain and simple. At that thought my heart swelled and was filled with such need and longing, it was almost too much.

So back to the legends and myths and what I should do if they were true. If they were, then we would deal with it. But I knew now that I needed to see him, we needed to talk. Together we needed to figure this out.

Quickly I got out of the bath and toweled myself dry. I slipped into my comfy pajamas and padded to my room. I grabbed my phone and stared at it. I was nervous. I practically ignored him the entire time he had been gone. He must be mad at me, right? Shakily I dialed his number. I held my breath as I counted the four rings until his voice mail beeped.

"Umm, yea Edward it's umm Bella. Ah, sorry that I umm haven't talked to you, umm. When you um get back, can you come over? Ahh, no matter the time, Charlie is working the nightshift. I want to um talk?"

Now all I could do was wait and see what happened next.

**A/N: Ahh lol am I to cruel to end it where I did? hehe.. Did ya like my Jacob? He gets no more play than that! If it makes ya feel better I hope to post the next chapter within a week? I hope! Hey- go check out my other story- Hidden Moon.. we are getting close to the end!**

**As always- I answer all signed reviews- so leave me some love!**


	14. Ch 13

**A/N; Soo sorry it has been a while- real life and Hidden Moon have kicked my ass! So here it is.. the 'talk' that we have been waiting for. I hope you enjoy!**

**I do not own Twilight- but I do own a green mug! Its awesome!**

Chapter 13

EPOV

I was nervous as fuck. I mean what did she need to talk to me about? Whatever it was, it didn't sound like a happy talk. It felt more like one of _those _talks, you know the ones. I'll get the 'it's not you it's me' speech and then she will kick me out on my ass. How pathetic would that be? I'll be the only vampire in history whose mate doesn't return the sentiment and can't complete the bond. _Fuck! _I was anxious. Emmett couldn't drive any faster than he was, but I wasn't sure if I didn't want him to slow down to prolong the inevitable.

We made back to the house in record time and I flashed up to my room to shower and change. I sent Bella a text letting her know that I was back and would be over soon. Here response was short and sweet a simple 'okay'. I tried not to read too much into it, but it was hard. I wanted to consult with Alice but she was conspicuously absent. She has disregarded my texts and calls. All through my shower I obsessed about everything; Bella, tonight, Alice and her absence. I puttered around my room trying to get ready and when I could fidget no more I sat on my couch. I did not know if I could do this.

A chirp from my phone alerted me to a text:

_I will tell you nothing, you need to deal with this. It will be ok.-A_

I wish I could say Alice alleviated my fear and anxiety, but she didn't. Strangely, I knew that only Bella would be able to soothe me. She was my mate and with that came so many wonderful and crazy things. How they would play out with Bella being human was the biggest mystery we faced. But, I knew I needed to see her. I needed to calm this ache that had settled in my chest.

Looking back I couldn't tell you why, but I decided to run to Bella instead of drive. Maybe I should have seen it as some kind of clue. Whatever the reason, I ran and used it as the opportunity to clear my mind and calm my nerves. Without knowing what would be happening once I got there, I still felt myself growing excited and happier the closer I got to her house. It was automatic; she was where my happiness would always rest.

Hesitantly I knocked lightly on the door and waited for her to open the door. It in that moment I began to understand the expression 'butterflies in the stomach'. It felt as I would vomit all over her front stoop I was that fucking nervous. I heard as she walked to the door and held my breath as she slowly opened it up.

When the door open and I saw her standing there, it was surreal. Three days away from her was way too long. It was like I forgot how beautiful she was. I missed everything there was to miss about her. But looking at her now, I could see that the past few days were just as rough for her as they were for me. She had tired circles under her eyes and they were missing their usual sparkle. Her entire posture looked defeated and there was just the barest hint of a smile on her face.

"Hey, Bella. I missed you so much." I moved closer to her and surprisingly she backed away from me. Something is very, very wrong here. The confusion must have been written clear across my face, but I never expected what happened next.

"I know you're a vampire!" Oh, fuck me!

BPOV

Shit, why in the hell did I just blurt that out. I had it all planned. I was going to ease him into it; I was going to be calm and rational about it all. But one look at his face and the disappointment when I stepped away and my verbal filter was gone. I said it before I knew what I was doing. Oh, fuck me! This is going to be bad, so very bad.

"Wha- what did you say?" He looked shocked and confused and scared as hell. I knew he heard me but it was like he was trying to give himself some more time to think.

I couldn't look him in the eye and I turned to walk back into the house and sat on the sofa, "I know that you're a vampire." My words grew softer with each word spoken until the last was just the faintest of whispers. My head was in my hands. I couldn't look at him and I wasn't sure why.

I wasn't scared of him, hell no; I was in awe of him and felt so very average next to him. Ugh, this isn't going the way that I thought it would. Leave it to me to fuck up the most important conversation of my life. I carefully watched him, as his eyes got large, there was nervousness, sadness and finally resignation all across his face. Suddenly he was in the room, and he sat in Charlie's chair and I had to fight back a smile, him in Charlie's chair, so strange. Now it was his turn to place his head in his hands. It looked so very depressing on him and I could not have that. I made a move towards him but stopped when he spoke.

"Yes, I am a vampire." His head was still down and the words were muffled and soft, but there was no mistaking them. I was right, oh my fucking god! I paused and just looked at him. He was a vampire. I rolled that sentence in my head over and over. After awhile it didn't seem so odd.

I was lost in my own musings when I felt his gaze upon me and when I looked there was such anguish and fear that everything I was thinking and feeling just fell away. All I could see was him and how much pain he was in. He shouldn't feel pain, he shouldn't be sad. He should be happy, carefree, laughing, anything but what I see before me.

I didn't think, I didn't over analyze- I just went to him and fell to my knees and wrapped my arms around him. I poured all the comfort I could muster into my arms. I wanted to rock him, but he was immovable and stiff. How long I stayed there kneeling, I have no idea. But eventually I felt his arms slowly engulf me into his embrace and he held me tight. Together we held each other, giving something to the other. It was perfect.

"I wanted to tell you, Bella. I swear I did." His words were muted as he still held me tight to him. Even without seeing his face, I knew what was there, concern, sorrow, and fear. His voice was pleading for me to understand. Funny thing, I did. I mean how does one bring up that one is a vampire? It's not the topic you bring up at dinner or bed time- really there was no good time to bring it up. It was better that I found out like I did and I told him so.

"It's ok, Edward, really it is. I mean, I get it. How do you bring up that you're a vampire?" I pulled away from him and looked him straight in the eye. "I am not mad or scared. Maybe its better that I found out this way, it's easier for both of us." I smiled at him to show that I wasn't lying. Ever so gently, I cupped his face in my hand and stroked his cheek. I watched as his eyes fluttered closed in relief.

Seconds later he opened his eyes and what I saw there made me happy. Gone was the sadness and the fear and its place was joy and love. It was so clear and true that I was breathless. His eyes were fathomless with their intensity and it was dazzling. I smiled at him to show I saw what was reflected in his eyes. Wordlessly, he pulled me from my knees and sat me next to him.

"I bet you have lots of questions, and I will answer them all. So tell me how you figured it out?" I searched his face and saw he was completely comfortable with talking about this. In fact there was a playfulness and it made me happy. Just maybe everything was going to be ok.

"Well, I figured it out on my own, but I was pushed in the right direction by Jacob."

"Jacob? Do I know him?" He was perplexed.

"He is the son of one of Charlie's friends, Billy Black. I went to their house on Wednesday. That is why we couldn't hang out." It may have been my imagination, but I swear his eyes narrowed at the mention of Billy. But before I could look closely, it was gone. Still, my curiosity got the better of me. I mean, he did say he would answer my questions, right?

"Do you know Billy? You seemed to react to his name."

He let loose a slow exhale of air and turned to look outside, 'Yes, I know _of _him and his family. How I know them will be something I tell you later. Now, I want to know what Jacob told you."

Even though he evaded my question, I trusted him when he said he would tell me later, there was no need to pressure him now. There were other more important things to discuss, like him being a vampire and what that meant for us. So, I told him of my evening with the Blacks, the myths that Jacob mentioned and how Jacob was acting like such a puppy dog, it was kind of funny.

"I mean, if I have to go there again, I swear, Edward, I am bringing a leash." I was laughing so hard, that it took me a while to see that he was just staring at me. It was intense and it was wild, and all it made me feel was wanted by him. I watched as he slowly closed the distance between us and devoured my lips. There was nothing gentle or soft about this kiss, it was fierce and demanding. His lips were moving so fast over mine, licking, sucking, pressing. I pulled away from him a fraction of an inch so I could breathe and I swear I heard him utter, _mine_, over and over. But I wasn't sure.

Minutes later when Edward had finally pulled away, we got back to the topic at hand. I wanted to ask him what just happened, but it felt like it wasn't the right time. So I filed it away for future reference.

"Well, after your little talk with Jacob, what did you do next?" He continued on with the tale as if nothing had happened. But he couldn't hide everything. He still had a slight smirk on his lips and his eyes were bright and dancing. He wasn't nearly as unaffected as he's trying to project. Good to know that I can get to him.

"I looked up Quileute legends and myths, which led me to the Cold Ones and then I did some searching on the internet. That's where I saw all the references to vampires." I paused, not sure if he wanted me to go on.

"What made you think I was a vampire?" He was so calm about everything, like he was completely fine with me knowing this huge secret about him. It was comforting and disconcerting all at the same time.

"Most of the information did not seem to fit. But there were a few things that stuck out, the fact that I have never really seen you eat; you seem to be really strong..." I watched as he looked at me at that one.

"There were a few times when we were hiking hat you seem to move huge fallen branches with one hand." I shrugged, I was watching him so much that day, and it was hard to believe he was right there with me.

"Here I thought I was being sneaky." He chuckled at the idea of me catching him displaying his talents, if he thought it was funny, he must be ok with this. He gestured for me to continue.

"But, mostly, there was always the feeling that you're something other than an ordinary human, teenage boy. The way you speak, the way you carry yourself, the way that you look. There is definitely something 'other' about you." I even made the quotation marks with my fingers. Running my hands through my hair, I looked at him. "I don't know there is just something about you, Edward. It calls to me; it tells me that you're someone special." My voice was a faint whisper at the end. I wasn't even sure why I felt the need to express how I felt to him, but heavens did it did feel right.

I chanced a glance and looked at him from underneath my lashes. His beautiful face held a soft smile and he was looking right at me. Was it too much to hope that my words appealed to him, made him happy? But my courage to speak my feelings was short lived; suddenly I wanted to know more about him. What it really meant to be a vampire. I mean, why isn't he draining me of my blood?

"Um, not to be rude or anything, but um, why haven't you tried drinking my blood?" A fierce blush spread across my face. Now that I said the words, I felt really stupid. The booming laugh from Edward didn't help matters as well. He must have found what I said extremely hilarious as he was holding his sides and was laughing uncontrollably.

"Oh, Bella! That was just too damn cute." He let a few more chuckles go and then, seeing that I was not laughing with him, he sobered up. "Ok, I guess that is a fair question to ask. But the way you asked, well it was kind of adorable." He winked at me to show that he was taking all in good strides. I gave him a tentative smile, feeling very off kilter around him. "Would you like to hear my story, Bella?"

I nodded quickly. The chance to hear about him and his life was intriguing. I snuggled down on the couch and faced him, ready to soak it all up. I wasn't prepared for the story he told. I listened with rapt attention as he explained how Carlisle found him dying and decided to change him. But wait, would that mean that Carlisle is a vampire as well?

"Wait, wait. Are you telling me that Carlisle is a vampire? Does Esme know this?" Again, he let loose another chuckle and I glared at him.

"I am sorry. I guess I assumed you figured it out. We _all _are vampires, Bella. Carlisle created everyone except Alice and Jasper." My mouth dropped open at that one. Seriously, Alice is a vampire? That just blew my mind away. Needing time to process it all, I asked him to continue on with his story. He gave me one look, trying to see if I was truly ok with everything. Afraid of what he may see, I nodded and smiled.

So he continued his tale of Carlisle changing him, their finding Esme and her and Carlisle falling in love. He spoke vaguely on how they found Rosalie, battered and bloodied and Carlisle taking pity on her. Then years later, how she found Emmett and begged Carlisle to change him. I laughed when he recalled how Alice and Jasper came to them and he had to find a new room as she had kicked him out.

He explained how Carlisle was changed and how that led him to discover the ability to feed off animals. He demonstrated the speed, strength and agility that vampires possess. I found it quite funny as she jumped from the tree in my yard, to the roof and then back again. He was such a blur it was hard to follow him. When I told him that, he laughed and said that he wasn't moving as fast as he could. That floored me.

I learned how they moved around a lot and that they pretend to be human so they can stay in one place for longer. He explained how that is a rarity for others of their kind. I asked him how many times he has gone through high school and it took him 2 minutes to count it all up. He went on to tell me about all the different degrees he holds and where he has gone to college. I was feeling a bit insignificant after that.

In all his talking, he never told me how old he was and I just had to know. "Um, Edward? How old are you?" If he heard my hesitation, he did not say anything. He just calmly responded.

"I was born in Chicago on June 20, 1901 and Carlisle changed me in the fall of 1918. I am forever frozen at seventeen."

"Wow. But that means your 109 years old. That is just amazing to think about. Is there anything else special about you or your family?" I tried to wrap my mind around living for over a hundred years, it was mind-boggling.

"Well, Alice, Jasper and I have extra talents if you want to call them that. Alice has visions of the future, Jasper can sense and influence emotions of others and I can read minds, well everyone but yours." He gave me his crooked smile and I swear my heart stopped beating.

"That is just too much to take in." My head fell to the back of the couch as everything that he told me over the last hour or so just floated around inside my head. I wanted to ask what this meant for us, why he was with me and not some other vampire female.

It was then I remembered what he said earlier, "You mentioned that you were going to tell me what you are, why? Wouldn't it be better if I didn't know?"

He looked at me thoughtfully for a few moments, but then shook his head. He reached up to cup my cheek as he spoke, "Yes and no. Yes, in that humans should not be made aware of our existence. No, in that you are special to me, very special."

The whole time he was speaking, my body was filled with that delicious jolt that always accompanies his touch. I closed my eyes, relishing in the feeling. I was addicted to it.

"Do you feel that?" His question was the quietest of whispers, but I felt as if he was talking to my soul, to me it was loud and clear.

"Yes, I always have. It's amazing. I wonder if it means anything." My eyes fluttered open and looked deep into his amber colored eyes. They were mesmerizing; they sucked me in and held me captive.

"It means a lot, actually. I am just worried that you won't like what it means." His face held sadness and apprehension, and I did not like it. I wound my arms around his neck and pulled him close. His tantalizing scent washed over me, calming me instantly. Placing feather light kisses on his lips and chin I whispered, "How could something that makes me feel so good, mean something bad? There is no way you can tell me anything that I won't like. I promise you."

Even though I had no idea what I was promising, I knew I could keep it. That charge that I feel whenever I touch him, means something and it's a good thing, I know this deep down. I wasn't going to be afraid of what he would say, for it could only mean something good. He pulled me so I was snuggled up to him on his chest and it felt perfect. I was right where I was supposed to be, it was safety and comfort, it was home. I closed my eyes and breathed him in deep. He lightly ran his fingers up and down my arm and it was exhilarating.

"That spark, that connection that we both feel when we touch, means something in the vampire world. It means that we are mates that we are made for each other. My father has never heard of it between a human and a vampire. But each couple in our family has experienced it with their own mates. You should also know that vampires mate for life. For me, Bella, you are the one."

His words were said softy, gently, even soothingly. As if he was trying to lessen the blow of them. But there was nothing to cushion. As he spoke, there was a feeling of recognition deep in me, something clicked and it felt right. I maneuvered myself so I could look at him. My fingers lightly stroked his cheek and jaw. I saw truth, honesty, and I saw love. It took my breath away.

"We are mates?" I couldn't think beyond that, still reeling from feeling as if some long buried truth finally came to light. "What does that mean? Do I get to keep you? Do you love me?" I tried to swat away the insecurities, but I needed to know what he felt, how he saw this all. I needed to know that he was affected by it as well.

"Yes, we are mates, if you will have me. As for what it means for us, it can mean whatever we want it to mean. I so hope you want to keep me, for I love you, Bella, so very much."

Our lips crashed together in a jumbled haze of need and longing. His tongue swept my lips and I opened up for him. Our breaths mingled to create a potent mixture of sweet and savory. I pulled him down and wove my fingers in his hair. A low groan escaped but was swallowed whole by his mouth. Our lips continued to move in a dance that was all ours. It was passion and affirmations, it was need and desperation.

When I needed to breathe he trailed wet, open mouthed kisses along my jaw, to my ear, down my neck and back again. I clung to him tighter, needing to feel him over every inch of me. I needed to get close and wished I could crawl inside him. I trailed my own kisses along his neck, licking every few inches to taste him, I couldn't get enough.

I pulled back, to look at him, needing to tell him what was in my heart, "I love you too, Edward." I gasped as I felt a tug from my heart. It wasn't unpleasant, in fact, it felt wonderful. I was being pulled toward Edward, but it wasn't only my heart, it was everything. My heart, my mind, my body, my very soul was falling towards him. I gripped him tighter but all that did was magnify the feelings. I closed my eyes as the onslaught of emotions was almost too overwhelming. Tears leaked out, "Edward, it's too intense, it's too much." I shook my head, but I didn't want it to stop.

"I know baby, I feel it too." He held me closer as we were wrapped in bonds so strong and connected, it was mind-blowing. I could feel Edward everywhere. Together we rocked and murmured comforting words as we were awash in a sea of love, joy, happiness and contentment. Minutes after it began, it was over and together we breathed a shuddering sigh. I could feel his smile as he kissed my hair.

He pulled me in for a soft kiss, but I needed more. I molded my lips, my body, and my very essence onto him. I deepened our kisses and they were frantic and messy, but I did not care. Neither did Edward, for he respond with his own urgent and frantic kisses, our tongues clashed and lips were sucked. As we kissed, my mind began to chant over and over. I could not help but mouth the words in between kisses.

_Mine. Mine. He is MINE!_

**A/N: Aww now isn't that sweet- and no cliffie! Soo what did ya think? Please leave me some love and maybe you will get a kiss from Edward!**


	15. Ch 14

**A/N: Ok.. I thought I would be nice and give you a holiday treat! Once again, I was BLOWN AWAY by all the alerts, faves and reviews- I mean... it was amazing! You guys are awesome! THANKS!**

**To CullensTwiMisstress- OMG girl- you rock. I wouldn't be able to do half of what I do without you! *mwah***

**I do not own Twilight- but I own this story- ENJOY!**

Chapter 14

I didn't deserve her, not one bit. She took the news of what I was much better than I could have ever anticipated. She was calm and rational, and she amazed me. Now, as I sit here in a rocking chair in her room, watching her sleep, I am astounded by her.

We talked for hours. She asked about all the myths; sun, sleep, garlic, pictures, reflections- all of it. I answered every single question she asked and she took each answer in stride. Sometimes, she would ask for more information, but most of the time she fired off more questions. We laughed and teased, it was an enjoyable night.

By the end of it, I was relieved and happy. The stress of her not knowing was lifted. We found ourselves in a better and stronger place and that was what I wanted. To add to an already perfect day, Bella started her claiming. We even talked about that.

To feel as she connected to me and we joined, it was indescribable. The pull towards her was intense; I could literally feel as if our hearts, our very souls became one. It was almost too much for me to bear; I could only imagine how much more it was for her. When I heard her cry out, I knew that she felt it and I rejoiced. She was embracing the bond and it was all I could ever want. But Bella had to take it even farther, I could hear her chant _mine _when we were kissing and I knew everything would work out.

Now I know that I have a lot to explain when it comes to the actual mating connection and bond, but we would get there. Together we would learn and understand our bond and that was fine with me. For now, we would be able to take our relationship to the next level and I was looking forward to that.

After we had been talking for hours, Bella's eyes began to get droopy. I decided that it was time for her to sleep. She begged me to stay and I couldn't refuse her. So I tucked her in and I lay down next to her. In a matter of minutes, her breathing evened out and she fell into a deep slumber. I held her for a few hours and there was no other place I wanted to be. But once she started to shiver, I moved to the rocking chair in the corner.

I wondered why it never occurred to me to come here earlier, I mean; I get to watch her-all night long. The real treat came a few hours later when she mumbled in her sleep that she loved me. I stroked her cheek and told her I loved her as well. An hour before dawn Charlie came home and I hid in her closet as he checked on her. Seeing as he would be up for a while, I decided to leave and get ready for school. I left her a note letting her know I would be picking her up.

The rest of the week was sublime. Now that Bella knew everything, we could be so much more. We touched all the time. I really do mean ALL THE TIME. If we were walking between classes, I always held her hand and then we kissed at the door. In the classes we shared, I was touching her in some manner. In lunch I had my arms wrapped around her, grateful that I did not have to pretend to eat as much. Bella commented on that on Wednesday.

"I can't believe how much food you ate when with me! How did you do that?"

I chuckled remembering our time hiking and how much food I threw into the forest.

"It wasn't as much as you think. We are skilled at making it look like we are eating. You should see Carlisle and Esme; they have it down to a science." Both Alice and I laughed at that. Of course Bella just looked confused.

"They have several hospital functions and almost all of them have food. They have pretending to eat down to an art form. Of course they had to after Esme found food in Carlisle's dress pants one time. Oh, the look on his face when she confronted him was priceless." Alice could barely contain her laughter to finish talking.

Bella seeing Alice's joy joined in with us. I pulled her closer and kissed her softly. It felt wonderful to be here with my sister and my mate- to just be with them, in the moment.

_Ask her to come over on Friday so the rest of the family can meet her. Em's dying to see her and Jasper wants to see what makes you so happy now. _Alice's eyes were pleading. I nodded and made the decision to ask Bella which caused Alice to have a vision. Bella would say yes and everyone will be very excited. Since I would be at Bella's after school to work on our projects, I would ask her then.

Later that day as we sat on her couch, I had an overwhelming need to _feel_ her. I tried to push past it, we were making great progress on our projects and I could see Bella concentrating hard. I tried to offer to do it all, but she turned me down, quite forcibly. I knew she would, but still, I had to try. For over half an hour I tried to focus on the work. But it was so mundane for me that, I was easily distracted. Problem was that I was distracted by her.

It was more than her scent; it was more than her warmth. At first it was the way her hair tumbled down her back, then it was the shape of her jaw in profile. Next it was her fingers as she typed on her computer and the pencil she chewed on when she was thinking. Finally I found myself focusing on her neck, the softness and creaminess of it and I just wanted to lick it. Of course all this staring and looking at her got me hard. I tried to shift so it would be more comfortable and less noticeable. I am not sure I achieved either of those.

After forty-five minutes, I was no longer able to hold back. I pushed the book and notebook onto the floor and scooted towards her. I registered Bella's surprised look before I devoured her lips in a searing kiss. There was nothing soft or gentle about it, it was pure need. I threaded my hands in her hair and pulled her closer. Her hands automatically fisted in my hair and began tugging it, it felt glorious.

I lay on my side and molded my body to hers, wanting to feel her warmth on the entire length of my body. My tongue traced her lips, licked her jaw and swirled in the shell of her ear. One of my hands roamed the span of her back while the other was trailing up and down her side. I skimmed her breast with each pass I made making her moan in pleasure. The need in me continued to grow at a frenzied pace and I tried to rein it in, but she was so close, it was impossible.

After my tongue was done, my lips and teeth nibbled on her soft skin, it tasted like strawberries and cream. She was sweet and savory. Of course, Bella was busy as well. Her lips and tongue were busy making wet, heated paths all over my neck and my jaw, it was an amazing feeling. Her hands left my hair and were busy tracing the muscles in my arms, neck and back. She left searing trails that I could feel even through my clothes. I couldn't help the low groan that escaped, but I shuddered at the one she let go.

"I love you, so much Bella." I breathed the words into her mouth as her tongue traced the contours of my lips. All I got back was a low moan. I placed wet, open-mouthed kisses all over her face, leaving my scent all over. I could not help the possessive need that started to grow in my belly and radiated out all over my body. _Mine, mine, mine. _I couldn't stop the need to claim her, to mark her.

To my surprise, I heard Bella begin to chant out loud, "Mine, your mine right, Edward? All mine." Her kisses grew more frantic and she scrambled to place herself on top of me. I rolled us to comply with her needs and I watched as she also claimed me. I could feel her mouth all over, leaving her scent to mingle with mine and it was a heady scent. We were fruit, honey and flowers all rolled into one.

My hands continued their exploration of her body. I paused at the hem of her shirt, deciding if I should go any further. I hesitated for only a brief second but it was more than enough, unfortunately, we were going to have to stop as Charlie was two blocks down.

"Charlie," I gasped out.

"Now? Shit, move!" She pushed off against my chest and launched herself off the sofa. Being the less than graceful person she is, she stumbled and I launched myself in a hurry to catch her. Once righted, she worked on dinner and I straightened our mess.

"Can you clean up out there?"

I chuckled, "Already done, love." She whirled around and saw the books and notebooks stacked neatly on the table as well as my bag and her computer.

"Wow that's fast." She turned back to her task as I made it look like I was packing up. I willed my rather raging hard on to go down. I did not think the chief would approve if he saw it. Seconds later he pulled into the driveway and came in the front door.

"Hey, Dad. Dinner will be ready in twenty minutes."

"Hello, Bells. Hello, Edward. What are you doing here?" I wanted to laugh at the suspicious thoughts he was having. He was trying to look around the room to see if he could figure out if we had been up to anything. You won't find anything chief, I'm too good. I mentally gave myself a pat on the back.

"We were working on the two projects we have for school. I have to leave, as my parents are expecting me home for dinner. Talk to you later Bella." I winked at her and mouthed, _I'll be over later. Love you. _She giggled and tried to cover it up with a cough.

"See ya later, Edward." She walked me to the door, but Charlie was watching our every move. Ugh, over-protective much there Charlie? She laid a soft kiss on my cheek and I squeezed her hand. I could hear Charlie coming into the room and decided not to chance anything so I quietly left.

If I was smart, I would have taken what happened as an omen for what was to come next. As it was, I was blind-sided. My only defense is that I am a man in love and fighting the urge to mate, it's not as easy as it sounds.

The next day, things were going good. Bella was happy that the homework work load was light and therefore we could spend some more time together before Charlie came home and then Friday she was coming to meet the rest of my siblings. In all it was going on being a perfect week, and hopefully it would lead to na even better weekend. All that changed before lunch.

I was at Bella's locker trying to locate a book she used for our Biology project. She wanted to return it as she was done with it, but could not find it at home. Since my last class was closer to her locker, I offered to search it. Of course that was before I saw the disaster that was her locker. There were papers everywhere, old stubby pencils, and half chewed erasers. I found notebooks, hair ties, and pages from magazines about clothes. Wait, Bella doesn't do fashion magazines. Upon looking closer I saw Alice's neat handwriting pointing out what she liked. I rolled my eyes at it all.

As I was searching I was trying to straighten up the mess, you know being the good, dutiful boyfriend and all, when I heard someone come up behind me. From their scent I knew who it was, and I had to repress a shudder of disgust when I heard her thoughts.

_Hmm, look at his ass in those jeans. Makes me want to bite him. _She cleared her throat to get my attention, but I pretended not to hear. Maybe she would go away. That was shot down when she tapped me on my shoulder.

"Hey, Edward. What are you doing over here?" _His locker is not over this way. _Ok, so I was feeling horrified that she knew where my locker was. Stalker-ish much?

Slowly I turned and pasted on a fake smile, "Hello, Jessica. I am looking for something for Bella." I half turned back to the locker to resume my search, trying to ignore Jess's rather mediocre fantasies. She glanced in the locker and laughed.

"She sure is messy isn't she? Why are you cleaning up after her?" The disdain was clear. "Want to ditch clean up duties and get lunch?" Where was her bravery coming from, she never acted this way before. Sure she has flirted, but never like this.

"Um, thanks, but I'll pass. I am waiting for Bella." Again, I focused back on the locker and the missing book. Of course Jessica was still by me and I couldn't figure out why she was still standing there. I mean, could I show any less interest in her? A few more awkward seconds past and she spoke again.

"Ok, how about this weekend. We have that history test on Monday to study for. Maybe we could do that together?" When I looked at her, I realized she was going to put her hand on me. I mean I saw it raise and move towards me. I did NOT want her to touch me. Can you say 'eww'? But I had nowhere to go, my back was pushed against the lockers.

Out of the blue, Jessica went sprawling down and I heard an 'Umph,' as someone collided into her. Looking down I see Bella and rush to pull her up.

"You ok, Bella, you hurt?" My eyes scanned her body but saw nothing except a smug smile. Now what was that for?

"Nope, not a scratch on me. I was excited to see you and accidently ran into Jessica." She turned to watch as Jess scrambled around to gather the books and papers that scattered. She kneeled down and began to collect a few of the books. I watched what happened next in slow motion.

As Bella was bringing the books up and over towards Jessica in one motion, Jessica was turning her body towards Bellsain the same moment. I heard the thud as the books connected to Jessica's face and smelled the hint of blood that was released.

"Ow! Shit, Bella."

'"I am so sorry, Jess." They both spoke at the same time, I bit back a laugh. This was just too fucking perfect. Now if that was only planned it would be even better. Looking at Jessica I saw a pretty nasty gash by her nose and several other scratches. Well that won't look pretty tomorrow.

Bella hurriedly gathered the rest of Jess' things, stacking them neatly at her feet. The bell rang to signify the beginning of the lunch period. Bella reached for my hand and we began to turn away.

"I am really sorry Jess. You should go to the nurse that looks awful." With that said she turned on her heel, dragging me towards the lunch room. I bit back my laughter. As we got closer to the lunch room, I saw Alice was already seated and was laughing her ass off. _Ahh, that was even better than my vision._

Alice saw this? There had to be something I was missing. A few minutes later with lunch tray in hand, we made our way to the table. "So, care to dish what's going on here?" I looked back and forth between Bella and my sister. They were up to something. They both exploded in laughter. What's so fucking funny?

Sensing my distress Alice tried to calm me down. _Give her a few seconds, she will explain it all. _Of course I tried to get it out of Alice's mind but I was met with her singing _Lion King _songs in German. Why must she torture me like that?

Like she predicted, Bella was able to calm down enough to tell me what was going on. It appeared that Alice had a vision of Jessica trying to come on to me. She was hoping I would ditch Bella for her. Alice of course told Bella and they devised the perfect plan. The icing on the cake was that the whole book thing was a bonus. Only the pushing her down was planned. I looked at my two favorite girls and shook my head.

"Remind me to never get on your bad side. The two of you together are a lethal combination." I kissed Bella's temple. "It was perfect, love. Simply perfect!"

"I had to protect what is mine." She laid a soft chaste kiss on my lips. "You are mine, Edward." She gave me another kiss on my cheek, this one wet and warm. "Only mine!" She peppered my face with small kisses, each punctuated with a 'mine'. I loved when she marked me.

So wrapped up in the feeling, I wasn't paying attention to Bella and how frantic she was becoming. _Edward! Edward, calm her down or she's going to try and mate with you now and she will regret it. It's too soon! _When I became aware of my surroundings I realized she had placed herself on my lap and was grinding on me. I could feel heat of her arousal on my thighs. It was intoxicating. Her cries of 'mine' were keening and panicky.

I gathered her in my arms and ran my hands down her back, trying to calm her down. Softly I crooned in her ear. "I'm yours baby girl. All yours. It's ok." Over and over I reassured her, telling her that I wasn't going anywhere. It took a while, but eventually Bella calmed down and was able to resume eating. She looked bashful and uncertain of what had happened. I wanted to explain what was going on, but I didn't want to make her uncomfortable.

_Not now, Edward. If you tell her now, it will freak her out. _I nodded to my sister, she was right. But I did not want to wait. The urge to claim her and mate with her was growing stronger every day. But there was still so much we were unsure of, but until I sat down and talked to Bella, we wouldn't know the best way to proceed. Instead I focused on the need to keep Bella calm and collected.

The next morning Bella bounded into my arms with obvious glee. I kissed her warm cheek in greeting and escorted her to my car.

"Excited to meet my family after school?" I could think of nothing else that would get her this excited, we had no other plans.

"Yea, I am. It's a nervous excitement though. I mean, what if they don't like me?" She was gnawing on her lower lip showing that she was nervous. Reaching over I freed the lip from her teeth and gave her thigh a gentle squeeze.

"There is nothing to worry about. They can't wait to meet you, especially Emmett. He's so excited that Esme had to tell him to hunt to get him to calm down." I laughed at the memory of Esme kicking Emmett out. He had already broken two vases in all of his excitement about Bella.

Bella looked pleased to hear that my family was accepting of her. We were both happy when the rest of the school day passed by quickly and quietly. As I predicted, Jessica's face looked a mess. She had a huge bruise under one eye, a large scab on the side of her nose and several smaller scabby looking scrapes. She threw scathing glances at Bella and I, but we ignored her, which just pissed her off even more. We tried not to laugh at her pathetic attempts at sympathy and pity. The only one who bought into her pity party was Mike and that was because he hated both of us anyway.

At the end of the day, I walked both Bella and Alice to my car and we headed out to my house. Alice was bouncing in the backseat unable to contain the excitement of having Bella meet the rest of the family.

"Alice, chill out, you're rocking the car." I chuckled at her exuberance. I had to admit, I was looking forward to her coming over as well.

"Sorry, Edward. I am just so flippin' excited!" Both Bella and I laughed at Alice's attempt to not swear. It was a bet between her and Emmett and we both told Bella about it over lunch. In a matter of minutes we pulled into the long drive of our house and I parked the car in the garage once we arrived. Esme stepped out onto the porch to greet us.

"Hello, Bella. It's nice to have you at our house again." She gave Bella a tentative hug which Bella returned.

"Thanks Esme." I ushered her in and we sat down on the sofa as Esme went to get Bella a snack. Bella giggled at the idea, but was gracious and accepting. As we waited, Emmett came bounding down the stairs and rushed over to us. Bella eyes widened as she took in the big oaf of my brother.

"Hello, Belly. I'm Emmett, the good-looking Cullen," He winked at her which sent Bella into another fit of giggles. I rolled my eyes at him calling himself the good-looking one.

"Well, I will have to reserve judgment on that as I have one more Cullen left to meet." She replied cheekily, much to Em's shock.

"She's a feisty one isn't she? I like that." He flashed his dimpled smile and Bella rolled her eyes. Luckily at that moment, Jasper entered the room, being pulled behind a very determined Alice.

"Since you need to actually _see _my Jasper to determine that he's the good looking one, I brought him down." We were all a bit worried about Jasper being next to Bella. He still struggled with being around humans.

"Bella, this is my Jasper, Jasper, this is my best friend, Bella." She made the introductions with a grand flourish. Bella shyly nodded and smiled.

"Nice to meet you, Jasper. Alice talks about you all the time." Jasper laughed at that.

"I'd imagine she does. Nice to meet you as well." I watched him carefully, but saw no signs that he was even tempted. _She smells nice, Edward. But I am fine around her. Her emotions are easy to be around._

"So, Bella, who's the good-looking one?" Alice seemed intent on making Bella choose now that she made the comment. We all turned towards her as she puckered her lips and scrunched her eyes up, it was a look of fierce mock concentration and I tried not to laugh. I mean, how could she _not _pick me? I am her boyfriend and potential lifelong mate. That has to count for something.

A few seconds later Bella's expression evened out and a smile lit up her face. "I have made a decision." Her voice was triumphant.

"Carlisle is the best looking." Of course it couldn't have been timed more perfectly, for she said it just as Esme walked in carrying her snack. While the rest of us were protesting her decision, and me trying to figure out how I could lose to my dad, Esme surprised us all.

"Nice pick dear, I would have to agree with you." She winked at us all and left the house. We stared at her with open mouths. That was so unlike Esme. Bella giggled and Emmett huffed to another chair and sat down, still grumbling that Bella didn't pick him. At that time, was when finally Rosalie came downstairs. She was cool, but not hostile to Bella. I didn't know what to say to Bella when she looked my way. Rose was blocking her thoughts and I had no clue to what she was thinking.

We passed the next few hours talking; it was nice to have Bella be a part of the family. Emmett even challenged her to a game on the X-Box, she lost horribly, but Emmett had a field day just hanging out with her. Everyone did, even Jasper. Rose didn't join in the fun, but she did stay downstairs with us and watched. It was the most I could expect out of her. I was still unsure what her issue was. After a few hours, everyone decided to hunt. Esme was out with Carlisle and would not be back for a while. We had the house to ourselves. The perpetual teen in me rejoiced.

We went to my room and she showed me the power point presentation she had started for Biology. We made some adjustments, but overall it was a great start. But it was when we started on our English assignment that things went a bit haywire.

Bella was in the middle of making a point about two of the literary characters we were contrasting for our project and I was side-tracked by her mouth. It was sensual watching it open and close. Every so often, when she had been speaking for a long time, her tiny tongue darted out to wet her lips. It was so fucking hot. Several times I had to adjust myself because my dick was so fucking hard. Of course watching her lips led to watching her whole neck move and how graceful and stunning it looked. By now I had lost all track of the point she was making.

Knowing that I had no desire to work on school work, I attacked her. I mean I literally attacked her. She was sitting up by the head board and I was down by her feet when I pounced on her, holding myself above her, staring at those delectable lips. Without another word I kissed her hard. Our lips came together in a violent clash of lips and tongues and it was not nearly enough.

Her warm mouth opened and I didn't hesitate in exploring it with my tongue. Mean while my hands went everywhere. I traced her cheeks, her neck, and then the soft slope of her shoulder. My fingers danced along her collarbones and then down her sides to her waist.

Bella of course was no passive participant. Her fingers never stopped moving. They roamed over my shoulders and up my neck to my hair where she pulled and tugged. It was a glorious feeling. The whole time, our lips were in a constant battle for space and attention. It was heady and it was out of control.

Somewhere, deep inside, I knew this was wrong. I knew that this was my need to complete the mating connection and that it was too soon. We had no idea what the actual mating would be like for Bella, we needed to find out more information. But at that moment I didn't give a fuck. All I wanted was Bella and from the looks of it, she wanted me too. Who was I to try and stop us? So I didn't.

As if on cue, we both began to feverishly explore. Bella's hands traveled down my sides to my waist and snuck in under my shirt. I gasped at the warm sensation of her hands on me and it exposed my neck to which Bella latched onto and placed wet open mouthed kisses on it. My hands had found the sliver of exposed skin above the waist of her jeans and I caressed every inch of it. Every moan that Bella released just spurred me on.

I was content to just do what we had been doing, but Bella had other plans and I gleefully followed her lead. She grasped the bottom of my shirt and pulled it up and over my head, exposing my chest to her. She licked her lips and I swear I saw lust in her eyes. In vampire like speed, she pressed her warm body close and explored every inch of my chest with her hands and mouth. I was powerless to stop her, but why in the hell would I do that? It felt amazing.

I rolled us on our sides and Bella didn't miss a beat, she continued with her exploration and I began to do my own. I was never more thankful that she wore a button down shirt than I was at that moment. Slowly I released the top button and made myself become familiar with the new section of skin I found. She was so soft and tasted divine. Once done, I opened a new one and began all over again.

I had her entire shirt off, and Bella's head was thrown back as I was caressing a wonderfully soft patch of skin on her hip. Quite mewls escaped her trembling lips. Being so close to her core, I could smell her desire, her arousal and it sparked something primal in me. All I could think of was how much I wanted her, how I needed to claim her.

I could feel some deep energy building in me. This was my mate; nothing could keep me from her. I nuzzled my way back up her chest to her breast. This is where I was going to start. I pushed her bra up and two perfectly formed nipples made an appearance and I was a man on a mission.

Bella had threaded her hands in my hair, urging me, tugging me closer. Her moans had turned into pants, she wanted this as much as I did, and I knew it. My hands touched the downy soft slopes of her breasts, reveling in the intense heat. I ached with longing to taste them, knowing they would be sublime. My mouth crept closer, wanting to savor that first experience of suckling on them. My gaze was hyper focused on the one nipple in my sights. The only other thing I registered was the soft tugging of my hair and a hand on my shoulder urging me forward.

Closing my eyes, in the hopes of savoring the experience I drew closer to her nipple. Suddenly I found myself floating sideways. It wasn't until my back crashed into a wall and I opened my eyes that I registered Emmett sitting on top of me, grinning like a fool.

"What the fuck is going on here?"

**A/N: *looks out from behind my puter* Are you gonna kill me? Please.. dont.. then there will be no more updates... Please review! If its a good one- Edward may give ya a surprise.**


	16. Ch 15

**A/N: You guys crack me up! All of you loved that Emmett cockblocked Edward and Bella.. you are all mean sadistic people.. I love it! Thanks for all the faves and alerts-but most of all the reviews! They have made me smile, chuckle and giggle... thanks! You are the best! Lastly.. but never last in my heart.. CullensTwiMistress.. OMG.. girl... you keep me going...thanks for looking this over.. you make me look good! *mwah***

**Ok.. ok.. I don't own Twilight.. if I did.. I would be on a beach in Hawaii with my cabana boy- Eduardo.. ENJOY!**

Chapter 15

"I said, what the fuck, Emmett! Get off of me!" My gaze swiveled all over the room, searching for Bella. The need in me to be with her was to an almost painful level, I needed to claim her. NOW! As useless as it was, I struggled against Emmett and failed miserably.

I saw Esme wrap Bella in a blanket and take her out of the room. "Bella! Bella! Get off me Em. I need to get to Bella." I increased my struggling. It seemed liked no one understood the need I had to get to her.

"Em, don't let go, whatever you do," Jasper's warning was loud. "He's still in claiming mode. We need to get him out of here."

Carlisle's face appeared in front of me while I still screamed out for Bella. I could hear her in the other room, it sounded like she was sniffling. She was crying and I could not have that! "Edward, you need to calm down. We can't let you go until you are back under control. Do you understand me?" All I could really understand was that I wanted to get the fuck out of here and be with Bella.

"Son, Bella is okay. Listen, she's laughing. She is ok. The girls are going to take care of her." I did what he asked only because it had to do with Bella. When I focused on her, I could hear her laughing. Esme was telling a story of something that happened between Jasper and I and it made her laugh. I focused intently on that sound, mesmerized by it.

Carlisle's face swam into clarity in front of me, "Can you be calm for me?" _Please, Edward, I need you to be calm. I don't want you to do anything that you would regret later. _The warning was implicit; he feared that I would hurt Bella. It was the most absurd thing I had ever heard. I nodded weakly at him, I wasn't capable of much, and I was still concentrating on Bella. She seemed to stop sniffling, she had giggled a few more times.

"This is the plan, Edward. We," he gestured to him and my brothers, "are going to go out and talk. You will be coming with us. Bella is going to stay with Esme and the girls. We will be back later. Bella will stay the night. You will see her in a little while. Are you with me so far?"

Again I nodded mutely; I could feel small bits of control come back to me.

"Good. We are going to leave through your window. You will not fight me on this, do you understand."

"Yes," I managed to croak out. He nodded resolutely. He motioned for Jasper to go first, and then Emmett held on and we jumped out together followed closely by Carlisle. I gave one more look up towards my room, wishing I could say goodbye to her. _When you have calmed down, you can call and talk to her. I promise._

"Thanks," I whispered and then we took off into the forest. Carlisle was in the lead and I was flanked by my brothers. Jasper kept throwing enough lethargy at me that I was unable to use my full speed. As we ran my mind began to clear and I was able to step back and look at what happened. I wasn't sure why we were interrupted, I thought I was in control, but my reaction proved otherwise. Was there something about this mating connection that I was missing? I mean I had seen it happen between my parents and then Rose and Emmett. I knew what was involved, didn't I?

After we had been running for over thirty minutes my emotions had evened out and I threw a desperate glance at Jasper. Sensing that I was calm, he removed the lethargic feelings, leaving me with the ability to breathe easier. _Glad to see you got back under control. _He gave me a knowing look, but I was baffled. I still failed to see what the big deal was. Even more surprising was that everyone's minds were silent. They were all employing different tactics to keep me out. Emmett was using the sure fire way of thinking of Rose naked, Jasper was running through Civil War battles and Carlisle was reciting all the Latin names for muscles in the body. Knowing they would tell me what they needed to soon enough, I tuned them out and enjoyed the run.

Another thirty minutes later, Carlisle was leading us to a familiar camping site. There was a fabulous rock outcrop that had a breathtaking view of the entire Olympic Peninsula. It was there that we were going. Once we arrived, the four of us sat down and looked expectantly at Carlisle. It was funny and eerie how we knew he would be the person to begin whatever it was we were going to do.

I tried to keep my frustrations at a manageable lever, but I was failing miserably. I was literally ripped from Bella's arms and noting has been explained to me. By looking at my father I knew that he wasn't delaying, he was organizing his thoughts. That only meant we were going to be here for some time. I didn't know how to feel about that.

Looking at me Carlisle finally spoke, "I am sure you have many questions and I hope I have the answers. I ask that you let me get through my explanations before you react." He looked at me pointedly. I was at a disadvantage because I had no idea what he was talking about. Since I had no other choice, I nodded my assent. He breathed a sigh of relief and began to speak.

"Let me first say our actions back at the house were for the good of you and Bella. Alice had a vision of you trying to start the mating and it ended in disastrous consequences." He looked at me to see if I understood and unfortunately I did. I was nervous that I was so close to hurting Bella.

"There was more than just the chance of hurting Bella. There was also a chance that the mating connection would have failed and if that happened, you would get no other chance." My eyes widened at that, I had no idea that it _could _fail. Seeing the question in all of our eyes he continued.

"When you first showed signs that Bella may be your mate, I started to do some research and contacted some of my friends. What I have been able to piece together is that it is not completely unheard of for a vampire to find his mate in a human. It's just an extremely rare occurrence. But when it does happen, there is a sort of progression that needs to happen for the mating bond to form. If it is forced before the natural progression happens, it can fail. If that occurs, you will never be mated."

He let that sink in for all of us, but mainly me. It was a relief to know that I was not alone in mating to a human. It was scary to know I could have fucked it all up. Seeing that I was still listening, he continued on.

"When a vampire finds a mate, in a human, specific things must happen in a certain order for the bond to be complete. You and Bella have already done most of them. She has accepted that you have a connection and that she feels it as well, secondly she must mark you as hers. From what you and Alice shared, that happened earlier this week, correct."

I thought back to the kisses after our talk on Sunday and how I could hear her chant that I was hers. "If you are talking about her kissing me and chanting that I was hers, yes. I also believe she felt the connection to me. She mentioned that she felt closer to me." Carlisle was nodded his head vigorously, confirming that I was correct.

"Yes, that is what I mean. This last part is the most crucial. You will be unable to complete the mating bond until her scent changes." We all looked at him. The sudden quiet I was experiencing broke and I was assault by both mental and verbal questions. It was making it hard for me to think.

It was loud and chaotic and Carlisle held up his hands. We quieted down as he explained.

"This is just one of the differences between mates when it's a human and a vampire. When she marked you, your pheromones and hers mixed and started the reaction. I am unsure how long the process will take, but you _will _need to wait until then." Carlisle fixed me with such a pointed look I dared not contradict him.

"So, the complete mating connection can't be done until her scent changes. You are going to need to be patience. This, as your brothers and I know, will be difficult as time goes on." He must have seen my confused look and continued to speak.

"Usually once vampires find their mates and the marking is done the urge to complete the bond is strong. It is almost a compulsion, a driving force that is hard to ignore."

"Oh, yea little bro, the need to get your freak on will be intense." All of our heads swiveled to glare at Emmett. "What? It's true!"

Jasper tried to hide his laughter, while Carlisle admonished him. "Emmett, a little sensitivity would be appreciated. Unfortunately, his correct Edward, as crass as it was. The emotions surrounding the connection are extremely intense."

I nodded my head, remembering how they made Bella cry out earlier in the week. She told me that they felt to be too much for her to handle. I wondered if she would be having the same intense emotions as Carlisle was expecting me to experience.

"Um, do you think that it will be the same for Bella? Will things be intense for her? Earlier in the week, she cried when she felt the bond." I tried to school my features to be blank, but in my father's mind I saw the panic in my eyes.

"I would say that since she has already felt it, that, yes, things may get intense for her as well. I would suggest that you two communicate how things are going for each other and if need be, to me. I want to make sure that this happens the right way, Edward, so you will need to be open and honest."

I heard the solemn tone of his voice, he was not kidding around. Suddenly, the life altering implications struck me. I had a mate! But there was so much more. There was the hurdle of Bella being human, the desire for me to make her mine in every single way. I even wanted to marry her. The knowledge that I would have a life partner was mind-boggling. Just a soon as the thoughts started they stopped. What if Bella did not want to be a vampire, what would I do then?

I felt a reassuring hand on my shoulder. _Have you talked to Bella about being changed? That is what you were thinking about, right? _

Carlisle was very perceptive; he has learned how to read me over the years. I shook my head no in answer to his question. "No, not really." There was sadness in my voice and I knew it was because I worried that Bella did not want me.

_Maybe it is time. I can be there when you guys talk, if you want. _I knew that he was right, but I was still uncertain. I didn't know how _I _felt about everything, much less feel like I could talk to Bella about it. I nodded my head as I looked at my father.

"That would be a good idea." He offered me a small smile.

"You know we hate it when you guys do that." We looked over at Jasper and Emmett who were staring at us with frustrated smiles. Simultaneously we both erupted into chuckles.

"Sorry, boys, old habits die hard," chortled Carlisle.

"That's what she said," guffawed Emmett and we could not help but laugh.

We decided to hunt for a while, which I didn't realize I needed until that moment. I tried to process everything, but it was hard. Emotions tumbled around with Carlisle's words while images of Bella's skin weaved in and out. One moment I was enjoying the softness of her body, and then next I am being forcibly restrained by my brothers. Only to find out that if I am not careful, my impulses could cause me to lose Bella if I don't keep them in check. It was all too much.

I was grateful that they stopped me; I realize that it was for the better. But my fingers could still feel the warmth of her skin. I could still taste her lips, they were like honey. My body craved to be near her, to feel her, to love her. Closing my eyes, I took deep calming breaths; I let the feeling of overwhelming desire settle down. I needed to find a way to stay calm. Making sure that nothing goes wrong in regards to our mating connection was crucial.

A few hours and several animals later, I made it back to where my father and brothers were lounging around. They all had that familiar satisfied flush to their skin. We were all well fed. The calm that had escaped me earlier had returned and it made me feel more centered.

"Feeling better?" My father had nothing but my best interests at heart. I felt as if there was more we were going to discuss and he wanted me calm. I nodded that I was fine.

""I'm not really sure what came over me. It's not like me to act like that. But everything made so much sense in my head, and then it was all more intense than I had ever felt." I felt ashamed that I could be so aggressive, if anything ever happened to Bella… I shuddered at the thought.

But looking at my family, I saw that all of them were nodding their heads. "What you were feeling is part of the connection, Edward. That is the second thing I wanted to talk to you about."

"This is the good part, Edward. It gets crazy intense and then the sex…" Emmett finally stopped when I chucked a rock at his head.

"What? It's true. Oh, shit, you have to wait. Oh, man, sucks ass to be you!" He let out a loud laugh while the rest of us just glared.

"This is serious, Em. This is Bella we are talking about. I could hurt her!" I could feel the exasperation in my voice.

"He's right Emmett. Things will be different for them; we need to be mindful that Bella is human. But in a way, Emmett is right, as much as it pains me to say that."

"Hey, I heard that!" exclaimed Emmett.

"Of course, son." If Emmett noticed the patronizing tone he did not comment. But I wanted to get back on track.

"What are we talking about here? I am getting worried." Carlisle laid a comforting hand on me arm. _Everything will be fine, son. Just give us some time to explain it all._

He took a deep breath and I saw that he was organizing his thoughts. Over the years I knew that Carlisle rarely talked before he had a chance to think things through. This has been beneficial when dealing with me as I tended to do the exact opposite.

"The feelings between mates are intense; they can be overwhelming and consuming. When you add in the feelings associated with being intimate with your mate, things can get out of control."

I was never more grateful that I could not blush. I did not want to talk to my any member of my family about my sex life or at the moment lack thereof, at the moment. I wanted to disappear but my father just kept plodding on.

"There will be new and unfamiliar sensations, and for a vampire we tend to let them rule over us. That is usually not a problem, when both mates are vampires. But with you and Bella, you will need to be mindful of your strength and energy levels."

Oh fucking hell, did he just say what I think he said? I put my head down, I was mortified and embarrassed. Could this get any worse?

"Yea Eddie, no day long sex marathons. You're gonna have to let her kitty rest." I saw red as I flew towards Emmett.

"You don't talk about her like that, asswipe." I tackled him in one push of my body and he tumbled backwards, taking me with him. I threw a few punches and let loose several feral growls. How dare he speak about Bella like that? She was not some slut. She was my mate. Minutes later we were being pulled apart by Jasper and Carlisle. I continued to fight Jasper as he was holding me. Emmett was smirking at me and it just pissed me off. I made a lunge for him when I was hit with a crippling lethargic feeling. _Oh, fucking hell, Jasper._

I crumpled to the ground and Jasper sat on me pinning my arms and legs beneath him. "You will chill the fuck out, Edward. Can you do that?"

I heard a snicker and saw my brother with a stupid grin on his face, "Yea, dude. You got to chill. I was only giving it to you straight. You know with you still holding your v-card and all."

Right then and there I wished to kill Emmett. Luckily for him, Jasper beat me to it.

"Em, so help me god, I will rip your fucking arms off and feed them to you if you don't filter your mouth. You are not helping. So unless you want me to make you cry- shut the fuck up!" He stared at him for several moments before Em realized he was serious. All traces of his smile were wiped clean off his face in seconds. Em hates to cry and Jasper knows it, it's the most effective threat against him. He turned back to me.

"I know he can be an asshole, but I won't release you until you are calm. I don't want to be out here all night. I want to get back home and I am sure you want to as well, right?" He raised an eyebrow and gave me a knowing stare. Our ladies were home, waiting for us. We needed to finish what we need to and get back to them. I nodded back. He was right; I wanted to be with Bella. There was so much we needed to discuss.

Once calm had been restored, yet again, we sat back down. We all looked at Carlisle to begin again. But he surprised us all by turning towards Emmett.

"If you can't keep your crude thoughts to yourself, you can head back right now. Your brother needs our support, not your pornographic commentary. I expect better from you. So what will it be Emmett; support or you leaving?"

Emmett's mouth was wide open, I don't think we had ever heard our father use such a commanding tone. But one look at his eyes which were hard and the thin set of his lips, we knew he meant business.

"I…I'll stay. Sorry Edward." I nodded to let him know I heard him but I was not ready to give him my forgiveness. Carlisle kept his gaze level on Em for a few more moments before he also nodded and turned back to me.

"Like I was saying before we were so rudely interrupted, you need to be mindful of your actions. I know you don't want to discuss this with us, but I wanted to prepare you for the intensity of a mating connection. I had hoped your brothers could offer valuable but _tactful_," he looked back at Emmett again, "information on what to expect. I would also suggest that you and Bella explore your intimate relationship, in order to help you acclimate to the new feelings and sensations."

I was speechless; I could only stare at him in open mouthed wonder. He was telling me to fool around- with my girlfriend?

"But…but you said that I could not complete the bond until her scent changes. Shouldn't we wait for the exploring until its time?" All I could think about was not being able to stop, that the desire I had for her could be stronger than my will to make sure the bond completes itself like it should.

"You could, Edward, if you wanted to. But I think Carlisle is right, you need to get used to the emotions. The bonding is intense and exciting. But think about it, how will you cope with unknown feelings if you're not somewhat used to them? Of course you can't let it get out of hand, but you can at least practice dealing with the easier sensations." Jasper's words made sense, to a point; it just seemed a bit overwhelming and scary. I could never live with myself if I hurt Bella.

"Jazz is right. You need to build up your strength to deal with what you're feeling. If not, it could be too much and then you could hurt Bella, and well, I like her and don't want ya to do that." Emmett's words were soft; he was trying hard to make up for his obnoxious comments earlier.

_If ya don't get used to it, you could come early to the party and leave Bella one unsatisfied mate. _Of course he had to add that side note between us, but, I was expecting it.

I could see what they were saying, it made sense, but the knowledge that I could hurt her, well, it terrified me.

"I don't want to hurt her, Dad. I could never recover from it if I did. I'm scared of hurting her." I finally voiced my fear. I waited for the laughter or the jokes, but none came.

"I know, but I think that your desire to _not _hurt her will be the stronger one. Have some faith. This is an exciting thing, Edward, you have found a mate. We are all here for you."

A beeping broke the quiet of the night. Carlisle took his phone out of his pocket to read the message. "The hospital needs me, I need to get back. Do you boys want to come with me or do you want to talk some more."

"I'm ready to leave now. I have lots to think about, maybe we could talk later?" It was true, there was too much floating in my brain and all I really wanted was Bella. The others nodded their agreement and we took off in a flash.

Half way home, Jasper stopped and addressed Carlisle. "What if I let him feel it? Give him a taste of the emotions that he could be facing. That could help him be more prepared."

Carlisle looked at Jasper; I could see his mind mulling the idea over. "I think it would be a good thing, but I worry about how he will feel after. I don't want him to return Bella if he's not under control."

Jasper nodded as well, "I can monitor him, and I wouldn't do it for long. Just long enough for him to get a taste." He turned to me, "Would you be willing Edward? It may help you understand what we have been telling you and why you need to be careful."

I understood- I did. They were only looking out for Bella and I and I appreciated it. But I was also extremely curious as to what I would be feeling. If what I was going through earlier was any indication, I wanted to be as prepared as possible.

I nodded to him, "Let's do this." Emmett took a flank position near me and Carlisle was within arms reach. I looked at both of them and then looked at Jazz.

"They are going to make sure you don't take off to get to Bella. What I will be letting you feel was the mating bond between Alice and me."

With that said I was hit with the most wonderful, euphoric feeling and my eyes closed. My entire body was tingling, I felt my cock grow and twitch. I felt excited and giddy, like I could fly. My nerves were sensitive and I was even more aware of the wind and how it caressed my skin. I longed for Bella and felt a tug, a pulling and it beckoned me to her. I wanted to consume her. But somewhere through the haze of lust, want and need, I remembered. I had to be careful; I did not want to hurt her.

I breathed deeply and tried to find calm among all the swirling desires coursing through me. Pulsing and heady, my body itched to find her, but my mind stayed clear. I had to focus; I had to keep in control. I was in control. Soon the thudding in my ears slipped away and I was left with a pleasant humming throughout my body. Slowly I opened my eyes.

Just like that the feelings were gone. Jazz had a look of surprise and awe. "What?"

"I am amazed by how you stayed so calm and focused. At first I gave you just a small and muted down version of the bonding. At the end, for a few seconds, I gave it all to you. You did remarkably well."

I was speechless I didn't know what to say. I could still feel the faint current of emotion running through me; my body ached with a phantom pulse of desire. All I could think was that I was ill prepared to complete the bonding with Bella but there was no way I could stay away from her.

**A/N: So we understand more about the mating connection.. what did ya think? Please give me love.. blow up my email inbox.. please!**


	17. Ch 16

**A/N: Ok.. seriously... you ROCK MY SOCKS OFF! I asked for you to blow up my email with reviews and ya did it! I had a smile on my face for days! Can I say.. there was NO love for Emmett after the last two chapters.. hehe.. isn't he one of a kind? Well I hope you like this one.. we hear from Bella.**

**CullenTwiMistress- hope you like the changes and thanks for being there girl... *mwah* I heart you big! ENJOY!**

Chapter 16

Everything happened so fucking fast, my mind was unable to process. It all came in snippets, pieces of information that made no sense. One moment I am relishing the weight of Edward's body on mine, next second it is gone. Then there was the air tickling my body, and then it was gone, replaced by a downy soft blanket. One second my eyes were clear, and then they were filled with tears that I could not stop. Separately or taken together, they made no sense. I was lost and confused.

What was real was my need for Edward. I could feel him in my bones, it was marrow deep. But somehow, somewhere we were being pulled apart and no one was telling me why. It didn't help that I could hear him calling out for me. His voice was strained with panic and fear. I tried to turn around but Esme had her arms wrapped around me as she tried to calm me down. He needed me, I could feel it. Why won't she let me go to him? I couldn't stop the torrent of tears streaking down my face. Her cold hands were running gently up and down my arms. Was it to comfort or warm? I wasn't sure.

We only went a short way, into another bedroom where Alice and Rosalie waited for me. Looking at them, they couldn't be more dissimilar. Whereas Rose was a blond bombshell with a constant chip on her shoulder, Alice was a small pixie who never stopped smiling. That was how they greeted me; sour grimace and a mega watt smile. I never felt more out of place.

Esme never let me leave the safety of her arms. Instead she maneuvered me to the other side of Alice's bed to sit so we could over look the back yard. While I watched the clouds and the river before me, Esme began to speak.

In her soft lilting voice she told me a story about a bet between Edward and Jasper that happened twenty five years ago. It was hard to concentrate on it as my mind was busy trying to make sense of happened and why she was telling me a story. Wasn't there something more important than a bet made before I was born?

Through my hazy brain I heard that it involved a chess game, walkie talkies and that Edward lost and he had to let Jasper drive the Vanquish. That couldn't be right. I must have misunderstood. When my brain caught up, I paid attention to Esme who was still talking.

"Jasper, wanting to take advantage of his victory, calmly walked over to Edward with his hand outstretched. He said nothing, no gloating, no trash talking. He just waited with his hand out, knowing Edward knew what it meant. You see, Jasper wanted him to pay up his bet, immediately" Both Esme and Alice snickered at the memory.

"A few minutes later Edward realized that Jasper was there and what he wanted. He started to shake his head and pled with Jasper to not make him do this. You see, the bet they had made was if Jasper loss he had to write his next History paper on the brilliance of the North in the Civil War. But, if Edward lost, Jasper got to take the Vanquish out on a joy ride."

I gasped in shock, the Vanquish? "But…I thought, I mean…" I couldn't finish, I was simply flabbergasted.

"Yea, we all know." Alice replied. 'He _never _lets anyone drive it. Never! But he was so damn cocky that he would win, he didn't hesitate in agreeing to the bet. So Jasper, knowing he would try to back out, smartly asked for him to pay up, immediately."

I was in shock. That car was Edward's baby. He was obsessively possessive of that car. He tried to explain it to me. But I gave up trying to understand. I think you needed a dick for it to make sense. To me a car was a car. If it got you from point A to point B, that was all that was important.

Esme took over the story, "Luckily, Carlisle had a feeling that he was going to lose and stole the keys. He gave them to Jasper who was out to the car in a flash. The entire time he was out riding it, Edward was pacing up and down the porch. Four hours later, Jasper pulls up with the Vanquish covered in mud. Edward's expression was livid to say the least."

By now, everyone, including me was laughing hysterically. Seeing it covered in mud had to send him into a rage or at least a convulsive fit. I laughed at the mental image I conjured up.

"What did he do next?" I couldn't imagine Edward not retaliating in some fashion.

"He did what he does best of course; he went all Emoward on us. He took his car to get detailed and sulked for days. It was priceless." Alice finished with a smile.

We all laughed at the idea of a sulking and brooding Edward. Of course I may have been the only one to imagine him looking hot in that way. I could imagine his lips in a sexy pout, his hands running through his hair in frustration, his eyes dark and brooding. I shivered in desire.

"Now, I am sure you were wondering why I was telling you this after what had happened." Esme's brought me back to the present. Not trusting my voice, I simply nodded.

"First off, I wanted to see you smile. There was no reason to be sad. Second, to illustrate the intense emotions vampires have, because they are similar to what you may witness with the whole mating bond."

"Oh, yea. They're pretty intense. Do you think _you _can handle it?" Although Rose tried to mutter it, I heard her. This meant that Alice and Esme did and by the tightening of their eyes and the glares they were throwing her way, they were pissed at her.

"Rose," scolded Esme while Alice let go a low hiss. "That was uncalled for."

She simply rolled her eyes and went back to doing her toe nails. I wanted to ask why she was here. It was obviously she wanted to be anywhere but sitting in this room.

From the tone of Rose's voice, to Esme talking about intense vampire emotions, I sobered up. Gone were the tears and fuzzy brain. Everything was becoming crystal clear. My eyes went wide and I could only stare at them. I wasn't quite sure what any of them were talking about. I always knew there was more to this whole mating connection, but I was getting a feeling it was something fierce. Sensing my panic, Esme wrapped her cool arms around me.

"Did Edward not explain everything to you?" Again, not trusting my voice to keep the panic out of it, I shrugged. I honestly had no clue if I knew it all.

"I don't think he did, Esme. I think he told her about the beginning, but not the rest." I was sure Alice was trying to be helpful, but it did nothing to quell the fear that was rising. There was more? How much more? I quickly looked to them all, willing one of them to tell me what in the hell was going on.

"It's okay, sweetheart. Don't worry. Here, why don't you go get into something comfortable and then we can talk. I'll get you a small snack while you get ready." She must have read the confusion on my face for she smiled and explained. "I already called Charlie and asked if you could spend the night with Alice. I figured you would have lots of questions and may need to talk to Edward later."

Oh, well that cleared up almost nothing. But I had learned to just go with the flow when it came to dealing with the Cullen's. It was just easier that way. Alice bounded over to me with clothes in her hand.

"Here, these are for you. They're nothing to flashy, but they are comfy, just like you like." I had never wanted siblings, I was a solitary gal, but with Alice, well, she would be the sister I wouldn't mind having.

'Thanks, pixie. Can I use your bathroom?" She nodded and I quickly made my way to the bathroom. I looked at the clothes she had given me and I had to smile. Alice really knew me and what I liked. There I found capri sleep pants in a pale peach with a cream tank top. They were the softest cotton and felt wonderful against my skin. But, of course Alice wasn't done. On her vanity was my toiletries bag; where I found my toothbrush and toothpaste, my brush and a hair tie. How did she get all this over here? I washed my face, brushed my teeth and put my hair up in a ponytail. Taking a deep breath, I calmly walked back into Alice's room.

The sight before me made me want to cry all over, never had I felt more accepted. Sitting on Alice's huge bed were all the Cullen women in jammies. Rose was sitting before Alice letting her brush her hair. Esme had taken her hair down and now it fell in soft caramel waves. It looked like any other normal sleep over and I found it funny. Except there was nothing 'normal' about this.

I couldn't help the giggles that escaped, I think the stress of the night finally caught up to me and now I was going a bit crazy. Everyone looked at me, very confused. Between giggles and even a few snorts I was able to explain what I found so funny.

"Seeing you all there, it almost looked like a normal sleepover until I realized the only one to sleep would be me. I found it a bit funny." They all shook their heads at me and made room for me between Esme and Alice.

Esme handed me a large bowl of cookie dough ice cream. It was just what I needed. "Thanks, Esme. This will hit the spot." I dug in, hoping the cool and creamy treat would help ease the panic that was simmering just beneath the surface. Wrapping her arm around me, Esme began to speak.

"I take it that he explained about that spark or jolt you get when you touch, right?"

"Yea, he said it's one of the first signs that someone could be your mate. He also said that vampires mate for life and are very possessive of their mates." I think that was all he said. But honestly, I don't remember, I mean I _did _just find out my boyfriend was a vampire. So forgive me if I wasn't paying a hundred percent to everything he said.

Both Alice and Esme looked a bit perturbed that I didn't know more. I was hoping that it was more towards Edward and not me. I'm a newbie at all this. I mean, it's only been a week and I still wasn't sure how I felt about it all.

I mean its nice knowing that Edward's not going to cheat on me. I LOVE all the attention I was getting from him. He's an amazing kisser. But the whole finding your life partner at eighteen, well, it kinda seems very old-fashioned and a bit surreal. But when I think of never having Edward in my life, it hurts. I mean, it really hurts. There is such an ache in my soul just by the thought of it. So maybe there is something to all this mate business after all.

Looking at the women around me and how they are with their significant others, well, they make it seem not so bad. I mean, the way Esme's eyes light up when Carlisle enters the room, you'd thought he hung the stars just for her. Even better, the way Emmett follows Rosalie's every move, it's sweet. But even sweeter are the soft touches she gives him when she thinks no one is looking. Watching Alice and Jasper interact, it's like a dance. They smile at the same time, they move in relation to each other, and they even have their own secret looks.

I want that. Hmm, I guess this mating thing _is_ for me. Still, it doesn't lessen the trepidation I feel. I'm sure it's more because its unknown and I have no clue what to expect. But, really, what girl would refuse the level of adornment that I've felt so far. I know I haven't, yet. Chances are, I don't think I could.

"I'm a bit surprised that Edward hasn't told you more." Esme's talking roused me from my daydreams.

"Um, it was kinda a mutual thing. I was feeling a bit overwhelmed and um, he was planning on talking to me. I'm sure he was." I blushed with my pathetic attempt to cover for Edward. I didn't want everyone to get angry with him.

Everyone chuckled at my lame ass explanation. "Don't fret, dear. We are not mad at him. There are a few things even he wasn't aware of as well. But he did know more than what he told you." I wasn't sure if I should be upset or relieved. Since I couldn't make up my mind, I went with casual indifference.

Esme continued to speak. "So you know the beginning of the mating connection; the spark, the possessiveness. You are also correct, we do mate for life. The connection has a kind of progression, if you will. From what Edward has said to Carlisle, it appears you both are following the normal pattern of things."

Ok, now I was embarrassed and uncomfortable. What exactly did he tell his father? I mean are we talking a play by play of all the kisses and heavy petting? Or are we talking just those things relation to the connection? Suddenly I was worried. What would the girls expect me to share? There was no way in hell I was spilling the beans. Plus it sounds like Carlisle all ready gave them 411. My stomach churned at the idea that I would have to talk about my intimate experiences with my boyfriend's mother. That was absolutely mortifying

As if she could sense my discomfort, Alice jumped in to help. "It's ok, Bella. We have all been there before and all we want to do is help you. We aren't going to ask you anything personal. We will just be explaining the whole process to you."

"Ok, that makes me feel a teeny bit better. But what did Esme mean when she said Carlisle knew we were following the normal pattern?" That's what I really wanted to know- what did _they _know. Ugh, I'm talking in circles.

"What Esme meant was that you feel the spark and that you have 'marked' Edward." Alice reached for my hand; I never realized it was trembling.

"Bella, we mark our mates when we kiss them. For vampires, our scents linger on our bodies, letting others of our kind know we are mated. Think back to this week, I am sure you can see what I mean." Alice looked at me with silent expectation.

So I did. Rehashing all that I experienced when I was with Edward and then it hit me, the night of the talk, and then the lunchroom a few days ago. There was the urge to kiss him, to rub myself all over him. I remember feeling the need to possess him, to let others know he was mine. My eyes must have registered I knew what she was getting at.

"Yes, those overwhelming feelings you have to kiss and touch Edward that is marking." She offered me a soft smile and wink.

Hmm, and here I thought I was just your average horny teen girl. Guess not. Not knowing what to say, I looked down at the comforter that was spread over me. As if it was planned, both Alice and Esme reached over and grasped my hands.

Esme tilted my head towards me, "There's nothing to be ashamed about, Bella. While humans may not have a fancy name for finding their other half, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. Vampires have their own type of language, that's the only difference. We just want to help you, in any way that we can"

I knew they were right, they were being helpful. Plus, in all honesty, I wanted their help. Who else could I talk to about this, Angela or better yet, Jessica? No, I needed them. I nodded to let them know I understood.

"So, what else do I need to know?" Just like that the tension was broken and they beamed brilliant smiles at me.

They went on to tell me about how after we both marked each other, our pheromones started a reaction and that the bond couldn't be completed until my scent changes. They were unsure how long that will take, but once it did, then the bonding could be complete. That sounded easy enough, until they told me there was more. If Edward tried to claim me before my scent changed, then it could cause the bond to go wrong and they did not know what that would mean for us. I guess there are not many vampire/human mating connections and so things are still a crap shoot.

As I thought about everything, a sinking feeling grew in the pit of my stomach. A sudden realization occurred to me. When they were talking about mating and claiming….

"When you mean if he claims me or when we mate…you mean…that we, um…" I trailed off, not sure how to finish my question.

A snort on the other side of the room made me swivel to look at her, "We mean that when he fucks you. That's what mating and bonding mean. Did you not understand at all?" There was no mistaking the snark in her words. The disdain she had for me was evident, what I didn't understand is why.

"Rosalie!" Exclaimed both Alice and Esme.

"What? I was only cluing her in to what you have been talking about." She threw me a wicked smile and I could only stare at her, open mouthed.

I couldn't look at any of them. Sex? I mean, I think on some level I knew that was that they were talking about, but I never really _got _it. To make the bond complete we would have to have sex. I wasn't opposed the idea. I mean, Edward is hot; of course I'd want to have sex with him. But, everyone in this house _knew _that is what we would be doing. Oh, my god, that was beyond embarrassing. My face blushed and I placed my head in my hands, letting my hair fall as a curtain around me.

Hysteria bubbled within me. How fucking ironic that the one relationship I get involved in, everyone knows it will lead to sex. But even crazier, it's expected, dare I say even anticipated.

I felt a pair of cool hands rubbing my back, I knew it was to soothe me, but inside I felt nauseous. "I thought you knew, Bella. I'm so sorry. This whole bonding thing is why Emmett had to stop Edward earlier. If things would have continued, it would have turned out bad. Please don't be embarrassed. We are so happy that you are with Edward." Alice's voice was pleading for me to understand.

I didn't realize I had been crying until the hot tears fell on my hands. I tried to wipe them away, but they came faster and faster. My mind was a mess, I didn't know what to think or feel. But what I wanted was Edward. I needed to talk to him, to try and make sense of this all. But more importantly, I just wanted the safety and comfort of his arms.

"Bella, sweetheart, Alice is right. Edward has been waiting for you for so long. You make him so happy. All we want is for you both to be happy."

"Oh, come on. Let's coddle her some more. There are bigger issues than her getting all freaked out over sex."

What in the hell had I ever done to her that she would spew such venom? Regardless of what it was, I had just about enough of Rosalie's pissy attitude. There was something bothering her and I was going to get to the bottom of it. I was going through an emotional and information overload and I had reached my limit. I no patience left for her bullshit.

"What the fuck is your damage, Rosalie? What the hell did I ever do to you?" I was sure my eyes were blazing and I just stared at her. I was itching to take out my frustrations and she would work just fine.

Her lips curled over her teeth and she gave me a deadly smile. "You want to know?"

Not knowing what to say I just nodded my head.

"Fine. Are you going to ask Edward to change you?" She practically spat each word at me. Her eyes were narrowed into little slits and she glared right at me. 'Well? Are you?"

I didn't know what to say. I hadn't given it much thought. I mean it's only been a week. But what was it to her?

Shrugging my shoulders, "I'm not sure. I'm still processing that Edward and you guys are all vampires and then there is all this mating/bonding stuff. I haven't even thought about it. But why would you give a shit about it?"

This must have been the wrong thing to say. Her eyes flashed fire and her hands began to clench by her side. "I could care less about _you_. What I care about is making sure that Carlisle or anyone else in this family doesn't get it in their head to make another monster. You better listen up, human. You do not want to be one of us. You will give up so much and you get nothing in return. Unless you think beauty and immortality are enough for you."

The way she said that let me know she saw me as plain and ordinary. As if the reason why I would want to be changed was so I could be beautiful. I wanted to scoff in her face. Looking at her, one would think vampire beauty only ran skin deep.

I could see out of my peripheral vision that Esme and Alice were stunned by her outburst. Me, I was beyond pissed. She had no right to spew this shit at me and I was about to give her a piece of my mind.

"Whatever I choose is between Edward and me, not you or anyone else in this family. This is _my _life and I will make the choices that _I _think is best. But thank you for enlightening me on how you feel about your mate. Emmett as a monster…hmm it's nice to see you think so much of him." She opened her mouth to speak and I beat her to it.

"Don't say another fucking word. I listened to you, now you _will _listen to me. As for what you think I'll give up, again that is for me to decide, not you. You know nothing about me and therefore you are not remotely qualified to make any judgments on what's important to me."

By now I was so wound up that I was about to blow. Rage was just simmering beneath the surface and I was looking for a reason to blow up. Spinning on my heel and turning my back on her I addressed Esme, "What happens when a vampire's mate dies?"

For a few seconds, Esme looked befuddled by the question, but then she gathered her wits and answered.

"I can tell you what I have heard as I had never experienced it. But when our mates die, it's very painful. It can be emotionally devastating. Some vampires are unable to cope and become shells of themselves. I have heard of some who have asked others to destroy them."

I was hoping that is what she would say. Facing Rosalie again I lowered my voice to make sure she was listening carefully.

"It's nice to see that you love your family so much that you would want your brother to suffer a fate like that if I stay human and die. But, then, you do seem to be a vicious harpy, so I would expect no less from you."

Unable to stay in the same room as her, I walked out and calmly shut Alice's door and went to Edward's room. Flopping down on the bed, the adrenaline I was feeling subsided and I crashed. I was so tired and drained. I slipped under the covers and held the pillow that smelled like him close. In a matter of a few seconds, I fell asleep.

**A/N: Sooo did ya like? Rose finally got her own and we see why she had a stick up her butt! LOL**

**So here is some good and not so good news- I may not get a chance to update next week as I want to concentrate on the last chapters of Hidden Moon- I know bad news- but the good news is that I only have one last chapter to write- once that is done... TMC will get all my attention. I have part of 17 written but its not complete.. so I may try to update but I am not 100% sure I can...will you wait for me?**

**Please review..light me up dear readers of mine...I love it!**


	18. Ch 17

**A/N: Hey everyone I am baaaack! Did ya miss me? I missed you! I hope that this update will find some of my Hidden Moon fans- if you are new *waves* thanks for joining us! So...where did we leave off? Ohh thats right... Bella and Edward had their 'sex' talks. And can I say.. several of you were ready to hunt Rose down with a flamethrower! Bella had her own cheering section from all the reviews! I loved it! I will try and update at least once a week.. this week. I may be nice and give ya another chappie.**

**Much love and kisses to CullensTwiMistress who always listens to my babble! Enjoy!**

Chapter 17

The last twenty minutes of my run home was spent with Emmett and his non-stop mental diarrhea of sex help. He babbled about everything from positions, to the appropriate way to eat pussy, to how to instruct Bella to suck cock.

But was he finished with all that?

Ohh, no. He then he went onto erogenous zones and what to do with each, followed by how to use toys and movies, as well as the art of foreplay. I wanted to die, figuratively, of course.

Now, normally I can tune him out. I have had decades of practice trying to block him and Rose and their rather raunchy adventures in the bedroom. But it was become a bit difficult because I also had Jasper giving me a mental pep talk. At least he was focused on things that I would _want_ to use. Ok, so maybe I would use some of Em's ideas, but there was no fucking way I would tell him. I'd never hear the end of it.

No, Jasper was actually letting me know that it would be ok to experiment, to get use to the sensations. He reminded me that the urge to claim was more heightened during times of intense emotions. He talked about always seeing to your partners pleasure and that when it all came down to it, I just needed to relax and have fun.

About five miles from home, I could feel the tug of Bella and all I wanted to do was be near her. Jasper must have picked up on it because he questioned me about it.

_Have you always felt the pull that strongly and this far away?_

"I have always felt it, but over the last few days, it's gotten stronger. This is the furthest I have felt it."

"Well, it proves you guys are mates, for sure." His voice held a hint of happiness. _It's about time; you deserve to be happy and mated._

"I feel the same way, brother." Emmett was so engrossed in his mental ramblings, he paid us no attention. I kinda liked it that way. As soon as the house was in view I locked onto her heartbeat and breathing. Both were slow and steady. She must be sleeping. Carlisle had beaten us here and was busy getting ready to go to the hospital. He was busy talking to Esme and it seemed serious, but I was focused on getting to Bella.

I flashed up the stairs to my room and opened the door slowly. I was stunned by the vision before me. She lay on her side facing the door. Her face was relaxed and had the most adorable little pout. Her hair spilled over the pillow like a river of chocolate. She was breathtaking. The peace and gentleness she displayed while sleeping made me yearn to sleep next to her.

I just stood in the doorway, watching her sleep and the slow rise and fall of her breathing. I heard Esme as she crept up behind me and leaned into my side.

"She's beautiful, isn't she?" I leaned down and gave my mother a kiss on her cheek.

"Yes, she is. How did the talk go? Did she take everything okay?" Sudden nerves overwhelmed me, fear griped me as I worried that this was all too much for her.

Esme must have sensed my distress; she placed her hand on my face, calming me instantly. She gave me a warm smile and I knew that everything would be fine.

"She handled everything splendidly. Although, I wish you would have told her more." There was just the slight hint of her disapproval. "She was worried at first about you, but calmed down and then Alice and I talked to her."

A fleeting image crept across her mind and it worried me. Bella was standing toe to toe with Rose and neither had pleasant looks on their faces. "Did something happen between Bella and Rose?" I looked at my mother when I asked. I watched a myriad of emotions pass by; anger, sadness and pride. It was a strange combination. With one more glance at Bella she pulled me further down the hall.

_Yes, but before you get all upset, Bella handled herself very well. One could say she put Rose in her place. _That was an intriguing idea, but I wanted to know exactly what went down.

"Tell me what happened, all of it." She gave a small nod and then began to show me everything. Once she was done, I was livid. Not only was Rose acting like a colossal bitch, but she was sticking her nose in matters that don't concern her. She was the only one in my family that didn't want Bella to become a vampire, but that was due to her own issues. But for her to accuse Bella that all she wanted was the immortality and looks, well, that was callous.

But when Esme showed me how Bella stood up to her, well, I understood why Esme was proud of her. She didn't take any of Rose's shit; she was absolutely amazing in Esme's memories. However, it didn't escape my notice that she didn't say a whole lot about becoming a vampire. Unfortunately, Esme noticed as well.

_You need to talk about it, Edward. We didn't say much, as we figured it needed to be between the two of you. Don't wait too long._

She was right. I needed to talk to her about it. Together, we would figure out what the best option for us and our relationship. I nodded at my mother. "We will, maybe tomorrow. She hasn't seen me in the sun yet and well, I have an idea of where I could take her."

Esme beamed at me. "I think that is a wonderful idea. I can pack a picnic for her." _Just be careful, Edward. You don't want to do anything that can potentially ruin the bond._

"I know, I won't. I promise." I stole a glance at my door, anxious to be back with Bella. _Go, be with her. She was anxious for your return as well._

I didn't need to be told twice and I never gave Esme another glance as I flashed back to my room and by Bella's side. She had curled away from the door, resting on her side. Her hair spilled over the pillows; she was beautiful. Needing to feel her, I quickly got dressed in some sleep pants and a plain white t-shirt and slipped under the covers next to her. I made sure there was a layer of blanket between us, but I carefully gathered her in my arms and closed my eyes. For the next few hours, I simply tried to shut the world out.

A few hours before dawn, I got up and dressed. I knew that Bella would sleep for a few hours more and I needed to talk to a few people. First stop would be to talk to Alice and Jasper.

_Come in. _The both said as I got closer to the door. Knowing that I wouldn't walk into them naked, I threw open the door and sat on the edge of their bed. Alice was busy in their closet organizing, while Jasper was sitting in a window seat reading. Next to Carlisle, I trusted these two the most. I knew they would be honest with me without being cruel.

"I was hoping to talk to you both. What are your thoughts on Bella becoming a vampire?" I just blurted out the question because I was dying to know what they thought. Both instantly blocked me from their minds which meant they wanted to gather their thoughts and then tell me.

Jasper spoke first. "I think it makes sense. If you leave her human she will die. Then what are you going to do? But with that said, I think you need to abide by whatever Bella chooses." I sort of expected that answer from him. But it was nice to get his thoughts none the less.

I looked expectantly at Alice. Even though she has seen visions of Bella as a vampire, I wanted to know what _her _thoughts are on the subject. "I have to agree with Jasper. However, I would like to add that when you do talk to her about it; make sure she knows that there are some possible sacrifices. Make sure she sees all sides of the argument and then let her decide. But the bigger question is how do _you _feel about it?"

She gave me a knowing glance, which meant she knew what I would eventually come up with, but like always, she is leaving me in the dark. _Edward, there are just some things you need to figure out for yourself. It's all part of the maturing and evolving process._

Once again, Alice was right. I nodded my thanks and decided that a small run was in order. Once outside I let my muscles stretch and pushed myself to run hard and fast. It was exhilarating to watch the world whip by me. There was something about this kind of running that allowed me to do nothing but think. I forgot about my problems and issues and allowed my mind to freely wander.

For the first time, I asked myself how I felt about Bella becoming a vampire. I knew that there would be major sacrifices she would have to make, if she decided to change. I could even admit to myself that I was selfish enough to want her to change. But, what was the _best _choice? That was a bit harder to define. Part of me pondered if it was wrong to ask Bella to make all the sacrifices. It would be her potential future that she was losing out on. If she changed, there would be no kids, she would have to deal with a constant need for blood and live a secluded life.

But the selfish side of me argued that we were mates and vampires mate for life. I was unequivocally bound to Bella. I wanted to have her near me for all eternity. I wanted to rediscover things through her new found immortal eyes. However, if I was being honest, there was more. I was terrified of losing her. While I knew her being a vampire didn't automatically mean she would live forever, if she stayed human, there was an expiration date on her life. I _knew _deep down, I could never survive that. Bella was the very essence that drove me; she gave me purpose and a reason for being. She was my air, my heart, my life, my love, my very soul. Without her I knew I would be lost.

Knowing that Bella would be waking soon and I wanted to make her breakfast, I turned and headed back home. I knew, no more than ever, that I needed to talk to Bella about this. We didn't have to decide anything, but we needed to at least begin to discuss it. I also made a vow that I would share all my feelings with her, letting her see all my dreams, hopes and yes even my fears. We were in this life together, in whatever form it took.

Twenty minutes later and I found myself back at the house. I quick listen told me that Bella was still sleeping. Figuring that I had time to wash my run off me I headed for the stairs to go and shower. I passed by Emmett who was playing X-Box. On an impulse I decided to give him a little heads up. Sensing that we were as alone as we could ever get I bent over the back of the sofa he sat on and whispered in his ear.

"I don't know if you know, but Rose stepped out of line with Bella last night. If she keeps it up, she _will _answer to me, Emmett. I won't have her disrespecting Bella again."

_What did she do? _His mind was whirling through several possible ideas, none of which were reasonable or close to what happened.

"You can ask either Alice or Esme, they were both there. I don't care. But she better not step a toe out of line." His mind went blank and he gave me a curt nod.

_I'm sorry, Edward. I'll talk to her._ I fixed him with a stern glare for a few seconds and then nodded before heading up the stairs and into the bathroom.

Thirty minutes later I was done and I checked on Bella. She was still asleep, but her breathing was speeding up. This told me I had about half an hour before she would wake. I found Esme in the kitchen already starting Bella's breakfast.

"Hey, Mom. What can I do to help? I was going to start things, but it looks like you beat me to it."

She smiled, "Why don't you cut up the fruit and then make her some toast." She went back to the omelet she was making. I turned and took out some grapes, strawberries and melon and began cutting up the fruit. By the time I was done with my simple chore, Esme was sliding the omelet onto a plate. She placed all the items on a serving tray and handed it off to me.

"Thanks Mom." I gave her another kiss on the cheek.

_Go, take care of Bella. _She didn't need to tell me twice. I took off up the stairs in a flash.

I entered my room and Bella was slowly beginning to wake. _Perfect timing. _I set the tray down on my desk and watched as she slowly woke. Her body uncurled from the position she was in, her eyes began to flutter and her tongue darted out to moisten her dry lips. It had to be one of the most erotic things I ever laid eyes on.

I crept up on the bed and lay down next to her and watched as her eyes slowly focused on me. The smile she bestowed on me was breath taking. Without thinking I pushed myself closer to her and placed chaste kisses on her lips and cheeks and eyes.

"Morning, love, I hope you slept well." She wrapped her arms around me and tugged me down; I knew she wanted me to come closer so I obliged her. Her hands curled into the hair at the nape of my neck and she placed feather light kisses along my temple, jaw and forehead.

"Good morning to you as well. What smells so good?" I could see her nose flaring as she sought out the smells of her breakfast.

I nodded in the direction of my desk which she had her back to. "That would be your breakfast. Sit up and you can enjoy it." I scampered off the bed, while Bella scooted up toward the headboard and piled the pillows behind her. Her eyes were shining brightly as she watched me bring over the tray. As I got closer I heard her stomach let out a loud growl and we both erupted into laughter.

In a weird way I found her eating fascinating. There was something inherently sexy about her eating. Maybe it was because I was focused on her mouth or the way her jaw moved when she chewed. Whatever the reason, it couldn't take my eyes off her. Bella hated it when I watched her, but over time got used to and tried to ignore me staring as much as possible.

"What do you say to spending the day with me in a special place? I can show you what happens in the sun and we can talk. I am sure after last night there are things we need to talk about."

Bella's eyes widened at the mention of seeing me in the sun. She had been trying to figure out why we don't go out in the sun and so far she hasn't come close. I told her it was something that could only be shown.

"Sure, I would like that." Knowing that we would get going sooner if she was finished, she inhaled her food and rushed off to take a shower. I ran the tray and dishes down stairs and when I got back up Alice had laid out some clothes for her. I knocked on the bathroom door.

"Bella? Alice left some clothes on my bed. I will wait for you down stairs."

"Okay," was her muffled reply. Not trusting myself to stay close to her knowing she was naked and wet, I rushed down the stairs. Emmett was still engaged in a video game and I decided it was the best distraction I would find. Seconds later and I was embattled with Emmett in Grand Theft Auto.

Thirty minutes later I heard Bella as she came down the stairs. A low groan slipped from my lips. What in the hell was she wearing? Those weren't the close Alice picked… were they? She had on a pair of low rise skinny jeans and a soft, fuzzy blue v-neck sweater. Her collar bones were exposed and she looked ravishing. I was going to kill Alice. She knew we had to wait for Bella's scent to change and here she was flaunting Bella around.

"Alice, this is not helping matters," I uttered to fast and low for Bella to hear. Of course Emmett did and when he saw what Bella was wearing, he just smirked. _Nice, Edward. Little Bella is looking mighty fine._

From upstairs came Alice's chuckle. _Don't get your panties in a bunch. You will be fine. Oh, the sun won't come out for a few more hours; maybe you could take Bella running? _

That was an intriguing idea, going running with Bella. I think I would enjoy that a lot and maybe I could even show off for her as well. Bella finally reached me and I snaked my arms around her, bringing her closer. I buried my nose in her neck and inhaled. She smelled clean and fresh, her natural scent of freesia was the same as ever. I placed feather soft kisses along her neck and she shivered in response. I laughed lightly and pulled away.

"That wasn't fair, Edward." She narrowed her eyes at me in mock anger. I traced her pouty lips and placed a chaste kiss on them.

"I know. I am sorry. Forgive me?" I gave her my best dazzling look coupled with puppy dog eyes.

"Ugh, you don't play fair, mister. Well you better be careful, I can play this game as well."

Emmett let out a huge bellowing laugh, "That's right Little Bella, show him who's boss!" They both laughed at that, she then huffed her way out of my arms to give Em a high five. Knowing I would never win with the two of them ganging up on me I pulled her out of his reach and towards the kitchen.

"Let's get a picnic lunch together for you and then we can be on our way." Together we packed the sandwiches, chips, water and cut up veggies that Esme had arranged for Bella. I also had a blanket that we could lay out on once we reached our destination. Once the backpack was packed, I wove our hands together and we walked outside.

"So, what do you say about running, vampire style?" I smirked at her and gave her time to figure it out. She looked perplexed and a bit confused.

"What do you mean?" she finally asked. I was beginning to read her face easier and I saw the slight fear in her eyes. There was no need for that, she was going to _love _running with me.

"I mean, do you want to see how vampires run," she looked at me as to say _but I'm not a vampire_. I laughed and explained. "I run and you get to ride, piggyback." I turned my back to her and grouched down. "Come on, climb on."

She thought for just a second and then I felt her hop on. Her legs wrapped around me and her arms came to my neck. Handing her the backpack, "You will need to wear this." She threw it over her shoulders and secured her arms around my neck again.

"I should ask if you get motion sickness." I couldn't keep the laughter out of my voice. I felt her heart falter for a beat or two and then she answered with a shaky, "No."

"Good. Are you ready?" She bobbed her head yes and without any further warning I took off. Wanting to ease her into it, I was running at about half speed. I felt her erratic breathing on my neck as she buried her face.

"Look Bella, it's ok, go ahead and look." I rubbed soothing circles on her legs and I reached back with one hand to pat her head. I felt her shift her face a fraction of an inch and heard her sharp inhale.

"Wow. It's like we are flying!" My heart leaped at the happiness I heard. She moved her face again and this time her chin rested on my shoulder. "This is amazing." I could hear her smile.

"This is nothing. I'm not even running as fast as I can. You wanna see how fast _I _can go?" Her reply was a squeal and her head bobbing up and down.

"Ok, hold on tight spider monkey." I felt her legs and arms tighten reflexively and I took off. The forest was a blur around us as I speed up and over the hills and through the trees. I pushed myself as fast as I ever had and in response Bella was laughing. It was music to my ears.

Wanting to let the inner teen boy in me out to play, I decided to show off. I knew there was a ledge up ahead and sped for it. Making sure that Bella was watching, I threw us off, did a flip and landed on a ledge about fifty feet down. Her scream of terror and excitement rang in my ears as we were flying through the air. I laughed with her once we landed.

I climbed a tree as far as we could and still be supported and watched Bella take in the amazing view. She was speechless as she stared at the vista with open mouthed wonderment. Then I took her to a cliff where we could see an amazing waterfall. Together we sat down, legs dangling over the side and threw rocks off the side. We hardly spoke; I just let Bella absorb everything. It was comforting to just be with her.

I began to notice a break in the clouds and I knew we should be moving on. I wanted her to be in the meadow when she saw me in the sun. It was the one place where I would be calm as she watched me glitter in the sun.

"Hey, why don't we get going? It will take us about an hour to get where I want to take you." With one last glance at the towering waterfall, she nodded her head. She placed the pack on her back and hopped on. In a flash I took off. It was an amazing feeling, having her on my back while running. I thought for sure that I would have to wait until she was a vampire before I could experience running with her. But this was better; I got to have her close to me. I loved it!

As I ran, I realized I didn't want to wait till we got to the meadow to talk. Thinking that she may be a bit overwhelmed by the sight of me, I figured we should get some of the talking done now. I slowed down enough that she would be able to hear me.

"Um, I was wondering if it was okay, if we could talk now." I tried to keep my voice smooth, but I heard my nervousness.

"Sure," was her even reply. "What do you want to talk about?" She nuzzled her cheek closer to me. I nuzzled her right back.

"Yesterday and everything that had happened. I want to make sure you're handling everything okay." She laughed at that.

"What's so funny?" She placed a quick kiss on my ear before she answered.

"Nothing. Just you asking how I am handling everything." I felt her shake her head. I saw her soft smile out the corner of my eye. I paused for a few seconds, wanting to see if she would volunteer anything further. When she didn't I pressed on.

"I would like to apologize, firstly, for any embarrassment, that you may have felt for my family seeing us in an intimate situation." I felt her body heat up as her face was lit up by her blushing. I ran a soothing hand on her legs, letting her know that I everything was fine now.

"Yea, that was, um completely embarrassing."

"I would like to say that Emmett saw nothing and will never bring it up again, but-"

"That just wouldn't be Emmett, now would it?" she finished for me. We both laughed because we knew she was speaking the truth.

"Secondly, do you have any questions about what Esme talked to you about?" She laid her cheek against my shoulder, in a gesture I knew meant she was thinking, so I patiently waited.

"No, not really. I'm still trying to absorb it all, you know? There are just so many things swirling in my mind, it's hard to really know what _I _think about everything." She sighed; I wasn't quite sure what to make of it.

"Do you mind sharing some of your thoughts with me? It may help, just to talk them out. Plus, I am interested in how you feel about it all."

Another sigh, "Maybe your right." She paused, I was assuming it was to gather her thoughts, then she launched right in.

"I think I am mainly overwhelmed. I mean, I just find out you and your family are vampires and before I can fully wrap my head around it, I find out we are mates. Now, let me say, I _love _the idea of being your mate, I really do. Then I find out it's so much more than I ever dreamed. I mean it's not every day that people say they met the person they may spend the rest of their life with at eighteen. It just boggles my mind, you know?"

I nodded, not wanting to say anything, hoping she would continue on.

"But then I think about not seeing you every day or being in your life, and it hurts, Edward. My chest fucking hurts. Then I got all freaked out about the mating bond and what that entails and it threw me for a loop. Part of me feels like this is a weird animal kingdom special and someone is talking about the mating process of vampires. I realize how _different _this is for humans. Would you be upset if I told you that I am glad that we have to wait for that part of it all?"

Her voice was timid, like she feared my reaction, like she feared rejection. I had to set her at ease. I stopped and pulled her down and in front of me. I wrapped my arms around her and waited until she was looking t me.

"Bella, I am not upset at all. In fact, once your scent does change, if you're not ready, nothing will happen. I mean it, _nothing _will happen. We can wait until you _are _ready. All I want is for you to be happy, no matter what that may be. Okay?" Her eyes filled up with unshed tears. "Baby, what's wrong?"

My hands cradled her face, searching for what could bring on the tears. Had I hurt her in same way?

"Nothing, I am just being emotional right now. You always know what to say to comfort me. Knowing that we can wait till I am ready, it means a lot to me Edward. Thank you."

She stretched up on her tip toes and pulled me close for a soft and gentle kiss. It was chaste and brief, but it calmed us both down.

"Anything for you. You ready to continue on?" She nodded and climbed back up and I took off again. We had run for a few minutes before I broke the silence.

"I'm sorry about Rose. She had no reason to treat you that way. But I am very proud of how you stood up to her. Even Esme was." Another blushed heated up her cheeks and I chuckled at her.

"Nothing to be embarrassed about, love. She deserved it and honestly, she had it coming to her. She's always been very self-centered and opinionated. Give her time; she'll warm up to you."

"I don't know what came over me. She was just pushing all my buttons and the hateful things she was saying," she was shaking her head, "it was too much. I kinda snapped. But, it felt good!" She laughed at that and I had to join in.

"Feel free to snap at her anytime you want." I turned my head and kissed her nose. "We are almost there. " I slowed down, because I wanted to tell her something. "Bella, please know that you can talk to me, anytime, about all this. We are in this together."

"Together. I like the sound of that."

"Yes, together." Up ahead I saw the opening for the meadow. I slowed down to a slow jog and just before we got there, I stopped altogether. "Time to get off, we are here."

Bella slid off my back and I took the pack from her. I held out my hand. "You ready?"

"Of course, together, remember."

**A/N: Aww they are soo sweet! I wanted to to so much more with this.. but Edward had some stuff to think about.. but I promise.. you will LOVE the next chapter...who knows.. maybe if I get a shit load of reviews.. I may update earlier than I planned! Are you up to the challenge? Ok.. go ahead.. show me some love!**


	19. Ch 18

**A/N: WOW.. you guys are amazing! I ask for some love and boy did it pour in! I have some of the best readers ever. Soo because you are all so aweome..here is your reward... your second chapter in a week! I have to say that your guys are soo smitten with Edward and Bella and I have a feeling after this one.. it will only get better.**

**To CullensTwiMistress- thanks for talking me through this.. one day I'll pop that cherry! LOL**

**I wish I owned Twilight, but I don't.. but I do own a green water bottle!**

***sniff* What's that.. do I detect a teeny hint of lemon in the air? Hmmmm maybe! ENJOY!**

Chapter 18

Taking a deep breath, I looked at Bella. "Why don't you go in first? This way you get a chance to experience my favorite place before you get sidetracked with me. Please?"

"Okay, but don't keep me waiting too long."

I smiled at her, "Never." I kissed her hand and let it go, watching as she walked into the meadow.

I knew instantly when she saw it, for she let out a loud gasp of surprise. Her breathing hitched and she let out a murmured, "It's beautiful, Edward."

"I know. Keep walking towards the middle, stop by the rock." Slowly she made her way towards the middle. Her head was whipping back and forth trying to take it all in. It was almost perfectly round. This time of year there was nothing but natural grasses. I wished she could see it when the wildflowers were in bloom, then it was spectacular. My hungry eyes watched her every expression as she had turned around and was facing my direction. Her face was lit by a huge smile. Her eyes were wide, full of surprise and wonderment.

Once she was by the rock, she stopped and leaned on it. "I'm waiting!" she said in a sing song voice.

"I see that, vampire, remember?" She laughed at my lame attempt at easing some of the tension I was feeling.

"It will be okay, baby. Together." She whispered so only I would hear. With those whispered words, the tension and fear I felt melted away. She was my mate; she would stand by me, just as I would stand by her. Taking a deep breath, I slowly walked towards the meadow. My focus was on Bella and her soft brown eyes. That's what I kept my focus on- I just wanted to get to her. Once there, everything would feel better.

The closer I got, I knew she would start seeing a reflective shimmer off my body and wished I could hear what she was thinking. Once she saw me standing in the tree line, she wordlessly beckoned me further, holding her hand out to me.

Without pausing, I stepped completely into the meadow, all the time watching her reaction. The sun hit my skin and the meadow was full of tiny shimmery rainbows, they bounced off Bella, the rock, the trees and the grass. Her mouth dropped open when she took in my sparkly skin.

Holding my arms out wide, "This is why we don't go out in the sun. Walking disco balls would cause some commotion."

She busted out laughing at my characterization of our skin and I had to laugh with her. I continued forward, letting her eyes roam all over me. I thought I would feel self conscious, but I didn't. She hadn't run from me yet, and I had hopes that she never would. She was far more accepting and understanding than I gave her credit for. She's good with weird. When I finally made it to her, I dropped the pack by her feet and put my hand into her outstretched one.

"You're beautiful, Edward." She barely breathed the words. Her eyes went to my arms, studying the way the sun bounced off it. She looked amazed at the millions of tiny rainbow that now covered her. Her gentle, but warm hands ran up from my wrist to my elbow and back again. "This is…wow…there are no words. I can see why you stay out of the sun." A full smile broke out on her face. "I like it."

Just like that, we were back to being Edward and Bella. Grasping her face, I leaned close to her ear, "Thanks for being you." I pulled back and kissed her. Soft and slow at first, letting our lips mold against each other. I tasted how much the sun sweetened her scent. Instinctively my tongue traced her lips and she opened hers in compliance with my silent request.

Her warm hands held tight to my arms as our tongues dueled for dominance. Remembering that she needed to breathe, I moved to her cheek, then her chin, down the soft slope of her neck and to her collarbones. I left my icy wetness all over her neck and she shivered. Finding some inner strength, I pulled away.

"Why don't we lay the blanket down and you can eat?" She still had a slightly dazed look from my kisses, but was able to nod yes.

I chuckled at her bemused expression and went to pull the blanket out. Bella had recovered enough to help me spread it out. She sat down and I pulled out the sandwiches and other items I packed for her lunch. Just as I was doing that her stomach let loose a loud grumble and Bella blushed profusely.

"Sorry, I guess I was hungrier than I thought."

I frowned, was I not feeding her right? I _had _to take better care of her. "I'm sorry I am not feeding you enough." I rushed the words out, showing her how sorry I was.

She waved me off dismissively, "I'm a big girl, and if I get hungry I eat. It's not all up to you." She arched one delicate eyebrow at me, daring me to contradict her. She was right; she's capable of taking care of herself. But I can't help it if I want to do it as well, right?

She leaned up against me after she picked out a sandwich, some chips and veggies to snack on. "So, tell me about your talk with the boys. Was it as fun as mine?" I sensed the sarcasm when she said fun. I rolled my eyes, even though she couldn't see.

"You try talking about your intimate life with Emmett around and you tell me if _that _is your idea of fun!" I chuckled when she shuddered at the idea of talking to Emmett. "He said his normal crass stuff, Carlisle bitched him out for it and Jasper was thoughtful. I think Jazz and Em were more focused on the whole scent thing. We all were. It was unexpected."

"Yea, I got that feelingthan from Esme and Alice. They really helped me understand. They made it so there was little to no embarrassment." I could hear her appreciation. I made a mental note to thank them both for their help.

"Esme showed me how you handled Rose. It was hot. You were wonderful." I felt her blush on my arm as she buried her face on my bicep. Smoothing her hair down, I explained. "Esme was so proud of how you handled it. She thought you stood up for yourself very well."

"Like I said, I was just so ticked off by her comments. I had enough. I acted without thinking." Pulling her face up to look at me, I gently kissed her lips, my fingers stroking her cheek.

"You should always stand up for yourself. No one should treat you the way she did. It was well within your right to snap at her." I let that linger in the air. I desperately wanted to talk about what Rose said, the whole if she was going to be changed or not. I just didn't know how to do it. Thinking I would wait until she had at least eaten, we lapsed into a comfortable silence.

When she was done we placed all the wrappers and empty containers back in the bag. I lay down on the blanket and Bella snuggled right up. Her head fit perfectly on my chest under my chin. My fingers lightly danced up and down her back, feeling each bump of her spine. Her breath tickled my chest and her hands roamed over my stomach. I could lie here for eternity and it would be all I ever needed.

We had been silent for some time, content to just _be _with each other. But I knew we needed to talk about the possibility of her becoming a vampire. Wanting to see her face, I shifted us so we were both on our sides facing each other. I took one of her hands in mine and held it close.

"There was something else I wanted to talk to you about." As if she could sense my apprehension she took our twined hands and ran a lone finger from my temple to jaw. Somehow that little touch calmed me down. There was nothing to worry about.

"Hey, you can talk to me about anything okay." I nodded, still choked up on the emotions welling up in me. I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and once I found my calm, I opened my eyes and began.

"I wanted to talk about your thoughts on becoming a vampire." Her gasp of surprise or shock made me pause. "Or not, if it makes you uncomfortable, we don't have to." I couldn't help the spasm of pain I felt register itself in my eyes. I never realized how much I wanted her to be a vampire, how much I hoped it would happen.

"No, no, no. We can talk about it. I want to talk about it. I was just shocked _you_ wanted to." In her eyes I saw the truth. She leaned closer and lightly kissed my lips and nuzzled my cheek. I was one lucky vampire.

"First, I'd like to talk about how you become a vampire. It won't be pretty, but I want you to have all the information before you decide." I looked at her expectantly and she nodded. "To become a vampire, one needs to bite you and push their venom into your bloodstream. The venom will begin to transform you from human to vampire. It takes about three days and it is agonizing pain." I watched as she swallowed convulsively. I hated the idea that I could be scaring her, but I vowed to be honest in what I told her.

"It will feel as if you are on fire, all over your body. There is nothing that can help make the process easy. You will want to cry, scream and beg to die. It will be one of your strongest human memories and with the vampire brain, you will remember every agonizing moment." Remembrance of my own transformation ghosted through my mind. I pushed them away and focused on Bella.

"The first year as a vampire is the hardest. Human blood lingers in your body making you stronger than most vamps. It will be extremely difficult to resist human blood as you will be ruled by your bloodlust. Everything is sharper and louder. It's a confusing and chaotic time as you get used to your new body and abilities." I smiled as I remember Emmett's first few months.

"What you smiling about?" She asked curiously.

"Emmett and his first few months. Esme got tired of all the art and furnishings he was breaking, so we lived a very minimalist existence until he could control his strength." Sobering, I continued to explain. "Because of the strong blood lust, it would be best if we were in a remote area for your change and for your first year- at the least. Once you have some semblance of control, you could try and gradually mingle with humans. It could take a few years before you feel comfortable being around humans. It's hard to say."

I hated to tell her all that she would lose out on and part of me wanted to chicken out and not tell her. But that wouldn't be fair, to her or me. No, she deserved to know it all; it was the only way she could make an informed choice.

"Once you make the change, you won't be able to see your parents. We can't take a chance with your control. Even if we could, they will notice that you're different and after a while that you're not aging. You won't ever be able to have children. You will have a limited range of ages that you can pretend to be depending on when you are changed. Like me, I can barely get away with twenty-three."

I paused; trying to make sure I told her everything. But as always, Bella beat me to the punch.

"Is that everything?" There was no missing the slight tremble in her voice.

"Yes, unless you have questions." I kept my face calm and impassive, but inside I was dying to know what she was thinking. She looked thoughtful for quite some time and I let her think. I went back to stroking her back, giving her all the time she needs. I really wasn't in any rush to have her changed. If and when she made the decision to be changed, then we can talk more about the logistics.

"What would we tell my parents?" her quiet question brought me back to her.

I shrugged my shoulders. "Honestly, Bella?" She looked at me first before she gave a jerky nod.

"In all honesty, eventually they will have to think you died. How it all happens depends on what you think will work. Will they be easily put off if they think you are in college? If so, you could delay faking your death for a while. If not, it may be best to do it sooner rather than later." I tried to make my voice soft, to lessen the blow, but the rigidity in her body told me she heard every word I said.

I sat up rather abruptly, holding both of her hands, I looked at her imploringly. "Baby, you don't have to be changed. You can stay human and I will be fine with that. I'll be fine with whatever you choose, I promise you that!" It almost killed me to say that, but I meant it. I would support whatever she decided.

She sat up as well, chewing on her lower lip she whispered, "What do you really want me to do?"

Instantly I was shaking my head, this wasn't about what I wanted, but what she did. I tried to tell her that but she interrupted me.

"No, I want to know, I _need_ to know. I'm not saying that is what I will do, but I want to know. Please?" It was then that I saw how much this meant to her. I couldn't fathom the reason why she wanted to know, but I couldn't deny her anything.

"I'd want you to be changed. But believe me when I say, that the choice is yours. None of us had a choice and with the exception of Carlisle and Jasper, all our families thought we were dead or dying." Wanting to make sure she was listening I took her face in my hands, my thumbs slowly stroking her temples. "You have a huge choice before you and you need to know that no matter what you choose, I _will _support you. Just promise me that you will make your choice based off what is best for you, not me. Okay?"

She nodded and that was all I could ask of her. I pulled her closer so her back was to my chest and I held her. My chin was on her shoulder and our hands were twined together. Every so often I would place light kisses on her ear, her neck, that sweet spot behind her ear. The whole time we sat there, we were silent.

"I need time to think, I hope you understand." She finally broke the silence after about twenty minutes.

"Of course you do and I would have been more concerned if you didn't ask for time. Take all the time you need."

She twisted in my arms to face me, her legs straddling me, her warm eyes intense and flashing. She looked glorious and she was mine.

"I love you, Edward Cullen. Thank you." Her voice was breathy and soft. Suddenly she crushed her lips to mine and I could taste the fierceness and possessiveness in them. I clutched her to me, her warm body molding to mine. My hands found her hair and I fisted it as I pulled her closer. Lips and tongues dueled for dominance and there was no way either of us would lose this fight.

She pulled back gasping for air but I continued my assault on her neck, her collarbones, nipping and sucking anywhere I could. Her hands curled in my hair, tugging, and eliciting a moan from me. Gently I laid Bella on her back, careful to make sure I wasn't crushing her. My kisses never stopped peppering her jaw, her ears, everywhere and anywhere I could was being kissed.

Bella's heart was thundering I could feel it beating against my chest. Pulling back, I looked at her eyes, warm and bright, lips slightly swollen. "I love you, Isabella Swan."

It hadn't escaped my knowledge that this was the first time we said those words to each other. From the look in Bella's eyes, she realized the same thing. Hearing that I loved her made her face split with a wide smile, her eyes melted and her hands became soft wings as she stroked my face. Right here and now, I knew what I had been missing. That feeling of _belonging _and _completeness_, they all came from Bella and her love. I needed her to see just how much I loved her.

Gently I kissed her, pouring my adoration and devotion into them. Lightly, I placed kisses on her eyes, her forehead, and her temples. My hands stroked her shoulders and arms, softly at first increasing the pressure as I went. Bella's hands buried themselves in my hair, her nails scratching my scalp. It felt sinful and sent tiny shudders down my spine.

At her ear I nipped and lick the shell and sucked the soft part behind the lobe. Her whimpers told me I found the right place. The need to mark her grew and I sucked until I felt a small amount of blood rise to the surface. Pulling back I saw the tiny mark. _Mine, she was my mate._

My hands traveled to the hem of her shirt, feeling the soft skin of her stomach, caressing, feeling the goose bumps as they broke out. My lips moved from her ear to her jaw, the kisses grew in intensity, they were wet, and opened mouthed. The hands in my hair tugged and pulled, trying to get me closer. I was happy to oblige.

My hands went under her shirt; her skin was warm and delicate. I ghosted over her stomach, her ribs and the undersides of her breast. Over and over my hands made the journey on her skin, while my mouth traveled every inch of her neck and collarbones. Bella was arching herself, trying to get us closer still. One of her hands roamed my arm, soft and soothing, then scratching and needy the next. I had to see more of her.

Checking to make sure I was firmly in control, I pulled back and slowly pushed her sweater up over her stomach. I watched her eyes for any hesitation or trepidation, seeing none I continued to pull her shirt up until I could take it off. Seeing her in her bra, her skin slightly flushed, it was breath taking and she was all mine. I wondered if I would ever be worthy of this beautiful woman.

Without wasting a second, I feasted on the new skin before me. If I wasn't kissing it, I was touching it. There was so much to discover. The slight swell of her breasts were downy and tasted like honey, her ribs were firm and tasted of sun. I kneaded her breasts with both hands while I kissed and licked every part of her stomach and hips. Bella was grasping onto me, as if she feared she would fall apart. Her small whimpers and moans went straight to my dick, which was painfully hard, but this was about her.

I was in luck that her bra had a front clasp and with a quick flick of my finger, it was undone. I pushed the material back and away as far as it would go without having to move Bella. Out of the corner of my eye, I watched as Bella tried to frantically rub her thighs together, seeking friction. I could smell her arousal and I could only imagine what she looked like under her pants. I knew I couldn't remove them; it would be far too tempting. But maybe I could give her some relief just the same.

Lowering myself to the blanket, laying on one side, I began my exploration of her breasts. They were magnificent, perky, and with nipples that were a dusty pink. Softly, but with gentle pressure, I explored them, feeling the way they moved, their heaviness. My fingers lightly flicked her nipples, eliciting a small moan from Bella. With her attention on my hands, I used my knee to nudge her thighs apart and when there was enough room, I wedged my knee in.

Instantly I could feel the heat of her, it bathed my knee. I could feel the faint dampness of her jeans through mine. I bit back a groan; this was beyond turning me on. Focusing back on Bella, I made myself concentrate.

I applied easy pressure to her groin, wordlessly letting her know that I was going to help her find the friction she needed. With the first press of my knee she whimpered in relief and need. Next I took one taunt nipple into my mouth and lightly sucked while pressing my knee in again. This time she arched her back and gripped me tighter. The flush on her skin got darker and a light sheen of sweat broke out. My girl was needy and I would give her what she needed.

My hands worked in tandem with my mouth. Whatever tit I wasn't suckling or nipping on was being pulled and kneaded by one hand, while my other would skim any and everywhere it could. I traced a line from her stomach to her belly button, swirling around it a few times, and then move to her side and up to her neck. My hands and mouth never stopped moving and neither did Bella.

Unsure of the right amount of pressure to use, I placed my knee in a way that Bella could direct more of the pressure the way she wanted. Although, every so often I would add just a bit more and she would tremble and groan. The scent of her arousal was getting thicker and the flush of her skin deeper, she had to be close. I had to watch her cum. I had no doubt she would look amazing.

So, continued my assault on her body. My hands, lips and tongue were everywhere on her. Her nipples were hardened peaks that I would flick and pluck, her lips were swollen from our kisses, and my fingertips traced familiar lines on her torso. Bella's moans and cries were growing louder and more desperate. Her hands clutched at me, my hair, my shirt- anywhere she could. She was beautiful.

Kissing her jaw I made my way to her neck and then to the sweet spot behind her ear. I nibbled and licked harder, feeling the shudder rip through her body. Her hands pulled me closer and I heard her faint whispers, "So close…ungh...yes...more-"

She forcibly ground her pussy on my knee, rhythmic movements that I was sure was hitting her clit over and over. I added slightly more pressure with my knee and her back arched. I took her ear lobe into my mouth and lightly nipped. I was rewarded with a keening cry.

"'Let go, Bella. Cum for me." Simultaneously pushed my knee in harder and pinched both her nipples. Bella's back arched completely off the blanket and her eyes rolled back and she let loose a sharp cry of pleasure. Small tremors rocked her body and I felt the heat of the arousal that flooded her pants.

Slowly, I helped her come down; I stroked her sides and kissed her gently, keeping my knee stationary as she rode out the last shudders of her climax. A few moments later when she had calmed she opened her eyes and I was forever lost. Her eyes were such a deep, rich brown, I could see my reflection in them. Her skin was flushed completely and her smile- it was beyond words.

"Hey, there beautiful." My hands smoothed away hair from her damp forehead, reveling in the closeness, the feeling of belonging that I felt towards her. It was more than just a mating connection. It was all encompassing, soul-binding.

"Thank you," was her breathy reply with a lazy, but satisfied smile. She nuzzled the hand that was stoking her hair and she reached for my face to stoke my jaw. She felt it, I could see it. It was like the pieces clicked, two halves now became a whole. We looked at each other, feeling, knowing, and loving.

A slight breeze began to blow and goose bumps broke out on her skin. She was still topless and with my iciness, the wind and the sweat on her skin, she was getting chilled.

"Let's get out of here. It's getting late." She moved to reattach her bra and I went to get the sweater I tossed away. Once she was dressed, I saw how tired she looked. I was sure that the orgasm had worn her out. Before she could protest, I placed the back pack on my back, wrapped her up in the blanket and scooped her up in my arms.

"I can ride on your back," she said while stifling a yawn.

"Maybe," I chuckled at her sleepy eyes, "but this way I get to hold you closer and look at you."

To show her agreement with my words, she nestled her head against my shoulder. Without another word spoken, I took off. I kept an easy and steady pace, not wanting to jar her too much. When she hadn't spoken for a while I looked down to see that she had fallen asleep.

There were no words to describe the level of trust she placed in me in that moment. Trusting me to care for her and protect her- so much so that she felt safe enough to fall asleep. I hadn't thought it possible, but I loved her even more.

**A/N: So.. what did ya think? Isn't Edward the best? Gosh.. if I could have in him in my room.. I would never come out! OK.. well let me have it.. tell me what ya thought! I hope to post weekly.. so.. until next week... Review..you know you want to!**


	20. Ch 19

**A/N: SURPRISE! You're getting the chapter early! You can all thank CullensTwiMistress who encouraged me to post early! From all the reviews for last chapter... you all liked the meadow scene.. I am glad. You made me soo fucking happy with your reviews! Well I hope you like this one... cuz I went sappy.. I was in a good mood when I wrote it!**

**I wish I owned Twilight..cuz then I wouldn't have to wash dishes... ENJOY!**

Chapter 19

Over the next few days, Bella and I tried to find a rhythm, a sense of normalcy. We tried to push away anything to do with bonds, scents and transformations from our minds. Instead, we tried to act like two normal teens. We both knew we weren't, but no one else outside us and my family knew that. So we had the space and opportunity to act as normal as we could. This of course meant that I had one important question to ask Bella, if I could ever find the time.

In English we were taking a quiz and so I was unable to talk to her. In between classes we were always surrounded by either my sister or Angela and Ben. I didn't want to ask her my question in front of everyone. I mean, what if she said no?

So I waited until lunch, but Alice monopolized the time about shopping trips and when they could plan the next sleepover. Since I was all in favor of Bella being able to spend the night, I left them to plan it all out. After all, I knew it was my bed she would be sleeping in.

Alice walked with us to Biology and I shot her a dirty look. She had to know what I wanted to do. It was the only thing I could think about. Once in the classroom, we took our seats and prepared for Mr. Banner's lecture. While we waited, I held Bella's hand and tried to find the perfect way to ask her my question. I wanted it to be special, something she would remember. So imagine my glee when Mr. Banner walked in and I heard that he would be showing a film for class.

Perfect. We would have about an hour's worth of uninterrupted alone time. Because our table was far enough in the back, Mr. Banner wouldn't notice anything we did. Chances are he would fall asleep about ten minutes into the film anyways. As the lights were turned down I hooked my foot into Bella's stool and I pulled her closer to me. She threw me a smirk, and I gave her one in return.

Within minutes the room was lit by the soft glow of the television but I only had eyes for Bella. I wrapped my arms around her, never able to get enough contact with her skin. Nuzzling her neck I breathed in her clean, fresh scent. I knew after a few days there would be little change, but I still checked. We were unsure if it would be a slow change or something more abrupt.

"Stop it, Edward. Pay attention," admonished Bella, although the smile on her face downplayed the stern tone she was trying for. "We may be tested on this!"

Tsking in her ear, "Silly girl, there will be no testing on this. Mr. Banner simply has a migraine, and was looking for an excuse to sit in the dark." Slowly, I placed open mouthed kisses along her neck, feeling as her body slowly melted into mine. I felt the tiny tremors that wracked her body. It was exciting to see the responses I could coax from her body.

My hands which had been wrapped around her torso were now gliding up and down her arms. I felt the tiny bumps that broke out in reaction to my touch. Bella snuggled deeper into my chest and heard her as she took a deep sniff of my scent. She once told me that I smelled like sunshine. It made her think of Arizona and _that _made her happy.

Seeing as she was relaxed and maybe even feeling good, I bent down to tickle her ear with my tongue. Shivers trickled down her spine, making me smile.

"So, I was wondering," I kissed the shell of her ear, "if you would like to be my," another flick of my tongue on her earlobe," date to the homecoming dance this weekend?" I placed a soft, wet kiss to that sweet spot, to further weaken her defenses. I knew Bella wasn't fond of dancing, but I really wanted to dance with her. She had told me that she is too uncoordinated to dance, but I knew better.

She whirled around in her chair so quickly she wobbled and I held onto her to keep her steady. "What? You want to take me to a dance? With dancing and a dress…and dancing?" The apprehension I saw in her eyes was adorable and I had to work hard at not laughing at her slightly anxious face.

"Yes, yes and yes again. I know it's a little late, but there has been so much going on. Please, Bella? Alice will be there with Jasper. It will be fun."

She was shaking her head and I knew that it was the dancing that freaked her out the most. Didn't she realize I would never let her fall? I know I have told her that many times.

Taking her face in between my hands, I looked her in the eyes. "Baby, there is nothing to worry about. The whole time we are dancing I'll never let you go. That is a promise." To seal the vow, I placed a gentle kiss on her lips.

She barely contained the moan, but I felt the vibrations and they went straight to my dick. I knew her acquiescence to my question was near. She clutched at my arms as I continued my assault on her lips, eyes, nose, and any place I could reach and didn't violate decency laws. Seconds later I felt her body melt into me and she tugged on my hair to pull me closer. Victory was mine. Just then my phone buzzed with an incoming text.

_I will take Bella shopping after school! _

Alice must have seen Bella's decision as well. I showed her the text and there was such a forlorn look on her face I wanted to laugh. Bella hated shopping with Alice, no, scratch that, she hated shopping period. Shopping with Alice was a whole other level of torture. Not wanting cause any more despair for Bella I typed out a reply so Bella could see.

_Can't you just get it by yourself? I am sure you already know what you're going to get._

Bella's smile to my intersession on her behalf told me I was right in my assumption. She mouthed 'I love you' and we both looked as my phone buzzed Alice's reply.

_She either comes or it will be 3 hours of Bella Barbie. _

Bella froze and I knew what she would pick. Before I could type out the reply, my phone vibrated again.

_I will meet her at the car._

"Sorry, I tried, love." I enveloped her in my arms, trying to comfort her and give her strength in dealing with Alice. "At least it's a school night; she can't keep you out too long." She nodded mutely and let out a shuddering sigh.

That was how we stayed the rest of the period, cuddled up to each other. I slowly stroked her hair, wordlessly trying to reassure her that everything would be okay. She made random patterns on my arm with her fingers. Together we soothed and calmed each other down.

After school, Alice and I followed Bella to her house so she could drop off her car and then on their way to Port Angeles, they would drop me off. I took the opportunity of being alone with Alice to lay some ground rules.

"Go easy on her Alice. Get in, get what you want and get out. She's making a big concession by agreeing to go with me; I don't want her to regret it. Keep the heels doable for Bella and feed her." I threw her a reproachful glare.

"Fine," she huffed, "you take away all my fun."

I laughed, "Maybe, but this won't be fun for her in any way, so let's just keep it tame. If it makes you feel better, you can keep the dress a secret from me."

I had a suspicion she would have done just that without my permission, but this way she can knowingly irritate me with the crazy ways to keep me out. As long as I don't have to hear Backstreet Boys being translated into anything, I would be just fine.

Once we reached my house, Alice dropped me off at the beginning of the driveway. I gave Bella one more kiss and hug, and then they were on their way. I watched as my car sped away before I ran home. Once there I finished the small amount of homework I had left and found myself with too much time on my hands. Needing to occupy my time in some manner, I decided to play piano.

Knowing that Esme was home, I started off with the song I wrote for her and Carlisle. I played some of her other favorites from over the years and I heard her sigh of content from her office upstairs. I morphed to thinking about Bella and played songs that reminded me of her. In the back of my mind a melody started to develop. My focus turned towards those cords and over the next few hours I played them, arranging them, trying to make sense of it and seeing if I could shape it into something. After a few hours I had the first several measures and the beginnings of the bridge.

As I sat scribbling the notes on composition paper, I heard my car come up the drive. A glance at the clock told me it was just after nine-thirty. I was pleased that Alice listened to at least one of my requests. She came bounding in the room, her arms loaded with bags. Obviously it had been a successful trip.

"I take it that you got everything you needed?"

Her brilliant smile was answer enough, but she forged ahead. "Of course and don't you worry, Bella had dinner. I did get you a new outfit for the dance." She handed me a garment bag, which I opened to find a pair of black slacks and a dark charcoal button down shirt.

"What, no tie?" I joked.

"Not until the day of the dance. I don't even want you to know the color of her dress. In fact, Bella has your tie at her place. You will get it when you pick her up."

I thought that Alice was going a tad bit overboard, but I figured I would let her have her fun. We rarely went to dances and so I wanted Alice to enjoy the experience as well.

"Thanks, sis." I kissed her cheek before retiring to my room with garment bag in hand. After hanging it up, I decided to call Bella before she went to sleep.

"Hey, Edward." She stated as she answered the phone. "I missed you tonight."

Hearing that made me feel something… good, happy, pleased…I was unsure exactly what it was, but it was nice to know she missed me as I missed her.

"Hey, love. I missed you too. How was shopping? Did you find a dress?" I knew she had but it didn't hurt to see if she would let a few details slip.

"Yes, I did and I'm not telling you anything, Edward Cullen. You're going to have to wait till Saturday." She tried to be stern but her giggle gave her away. I was certain Alice told her I may try to get some information from her.

"Hey, you can't blame me for trying, can you? Honestly, how was Alice? Did she go easy on you?"

"Calm down, she was fine." She must have sensed the slight panic in my voice, but she knew just how to calm me down. "We found both our dressed fairly quickly. She didn't make me try on a million dresses and she let me pick out my shoes. Pending her approval of course. It was kinda fun." She whispered that last part, as if Alice could hear her over the phone.

Knowing she may be listening on my end I assured her that her secret was safe with me. "I won't tell a soul. Can I pick you up tomorrow?"

"I would like that. I should get going, I am getting tired. Good night, Edward. I love you."

"Good night, sweetheart, I love you, too." She let loose an adorable yawn and then we hung up.

The next few days were quiet and easy. There was nothing pressing on us and we took advantage of that. We spent time with my family and I hung out at her house to get Charlie used to the idea that Bella had a boyfriend. Charlie wasn't too excited about the prospect, but he didn't outwardly object to it either. Instead, he did a lot of grumbling and made snide comments under his breath.

Saturday came fast enough and I think Bella was starting to get in the mood of the dance. To garner the whole experience, we went to the football game that afternoon. It was pretty cloudy so it was a perfect opportunity for us to go. We rarely went to these types of events. Even Carlisle and Esme joined Alice, Bella and I.

Bella was completely lost in the game, not understanding the rules or the idea of it all. I found it amusing as I tried to explain it to her and she got more and more confused. Even after I tried to simplify it for her.

"Ok, each team just needs to make sure the ball crosses the line. If it does, it's a score. Don't worry about positions or formations or even penalties." Her brow scrunched together in a most adorable way as she tried to take in this watered down explanation.

"Okay, I think I can handle that. I guess I am trying to see the appeal in it all. I mean, Charlie spends hours watching this on TV and I can't figure out why?"

Carlisle chuckled behind her, "I think it's because football can be a very violent sport, but there is also a lot of strategy to it. People like the thrill of a good hit or the success of a well executed play."

Bella thought that over for a moment, and then shook her head frowning, "Still seems like a dumb sport."

Carlisle and I laughed at that and it only caused her to frown even more. Wrapping her in my arms I kissed her softly. "Just enjoy being out and about, how about that?" She smiled at that and snuggled even closer and turned back to the field.

When the game was finished, spirits were high as Forks beat Port Angeles and there was a feeling of celebration in the air. I could hear everyone talking excitedly about the dance later tonight. We dropped off Alice at Bella's as that is where they were going to get ready. Jasper and I would pick them up there in a few hours.

When I returned home, I had a few hours to whittle away before I needed to get ready and head off, so Jasper asked if we could do a little hunting. He figured why not and we headed out. It was nice to be alone with him and it gave us a chance to talk. We talked about my discussion with Bella about changing, how I felt she was taking the whole mate thing and how long we thought it would be before her scent changed.

Since he had the most experience with newborns, I picked his brains about the most logical way to go about Bella's change if she decided that is what she wanted. He suggested remote areas of Alaska and Canada or even abroad. His main concern was that there is plentiful wildlife, the more meat eaters the better. I agreed with him.

"Have you asked Alice what choice she sees Bella making?" he inquired.

"I asked her to keep that to herself that Bella needs to think this through. Then, when she has made her choice, Bella will be the one to tell me. She agreed to that and we are both sticking to it."

"Are you nervous that she may choose to stay human?"

"I have given that some thought and honestly, if that is what she chooses, we will figure out the rest later." I was truthful in my response to him, but deep inside I was a nervous wreck over the idea. Her staying human meant that one day, I would lose her and I couldn't fathom how that would feel.

Jasper chuckled, "Your scared shitless, aren't you?"

I pinch the bridge of my nose, "Yes," I breathed.

_It will all work out. Try not to stress about it, okay. It's time we head back and get ready. Alice will kill us if we are late._

I smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood, it was what I needed. I nodded and we took off back to the house.

About an hour later, Japer and I pulled into Bella's drive way. I was a bit nervous as I walked to the door and I wasn't sure why. I heard Jasper laugh and then a wave of calm settle over me. I mumbled my thanks and rang the bell.

Charlie answered the door and actually gave me a smile as he let us in. "Welcome boys. I think the girls are just about done. You can have a seat while you wait for them."

"Thanks," I stated as we both sat down on the couch.

"I was told to give you this when you arrived, Edward." I look over and Charlie is holding a blue tie.

Smiling I took it from him and began to put it on. Now I knew that Bella's dress was blue, my favorite color on her. Once done knotting the tie, I turn towards Charlie, "Did I get it on straight?"

He nodded yes and then we heard the girls as they came down the steps. Alice led the way and Jasper's eyes were all on her. She had on a deep purple dress with spaghetti straps and silver high heel shoes. She walked over to Jasper who presented her with a wrist corsage of white roses.

My eyes stayed glued to the stairs as I waited for Bella to come down. It seemed as if it took hours for her to finally descend the stairs, but I am sure it was only minutes. But when I did see her at last, she was stunning.

Her hair was piled on top of her head, with soft tendrils falling out of it on the sides and back. Her make-up was very minimal, she looked fresh and vibrant. However, it was the dress that made her look fabulous. It was a deep blue halter dress that fell to just below her knees. It was soft and very free flowing and it suited her perfectly. I looked to her feet, to see the shoes that she chose and I had to smile, they were all Bella. She picked out simple black slip on ballet-like slippers. They were soft sided and had no heel. I knew she picked them for the comfort and simplicity.

I couldn't stop myself as I greeted her at the foot of the stairs.

"You look beautiful, Bella, simply beautiful." She blushed and I held out the box with the corsage. She opened it to find a simple wrist corsage with a single red rose with baby's breath.

"Wow, it's so pretty." She held her arm out as I slipped it onto her wrist. I offered her my arm and turned to guide her into the room. We took pictures and Charlie commented on how grown up Bella seemed. They shared a quick but tender hug and then we were off.

It took about ten minutes for us to arrive back at the school, where the dance was being held in the gym. Alice shuddered at the tacky decorates of streamers and balloons.

"They could have at least used twinkle lights to make it look a bit better."

Bella and I both rolled our eyes and made our way to one of the tables that were off to the side. The dance floor was full of people dancing to the pulsing music. Alice dragged Jasper onto the floor and Bella giggled.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Just the idea of Jasper dancing, it doesn't seem like him at all."

"Well, Alice has dragged him to enough clubs in the past, so he was bound to pick up some moves. Would you dance with me?" I gave her my most dazzling smile.

"Um, no…nothing fast, I'll…uh, fall down…a lot." I shook my head at her silly notions, but bided my time until a slow song came on. Luckily I didn't have to wait long as two songs later, a slow once was played. I didn't even ask her, I just gently pulled her onto the floor and wrapped my arms around her.

She looked around nervously and I couldn't have that. Bending close to her ear I whispered, "Don't worry about who's around us. Just focus on me. I promised I wouldn't let you fall."

To take her mind off how self conscious she felt I began to sing the lyrics to her. It was a perfect song for us and I hoped she would realize that. My lips were close to her ear and I could feel her shiver.

_'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do  
>Nothing to lose<br>And it's you and me and all other people  
>And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you<em>

I spun her gently away from me and I saw her smile with a faint hint of tears. I prayed they were ones of happiness and not sadness. As the next verse began I pulled her close, making sure my voice spoke of all the emotions that I felt when it came to her.

_One of the things that I want to say just aren't coming out right_  
><em>I'm tripping on words<em>  
><em>You've got my head spinning<em>  
><em>I don't know where to go from here<em>

To hear Bella as she joined me on the next chorus stunned me. Her voice wasn't perfect, but the fact that my feelings were being reflected back to me was overwhelming. If it was possible, we both clung even more tightly together, we tried our best to convey every thought and feeling we had.

As if the DJ could read my mind, another slow song followed and I didn't have to let her go. Once again it was the perfect song. Bella's breathing hitched as the familiar notes fill the air, she knows it and my heart sings. We sway, cheek to cheek, her hands resting at the nape of my neck, playing with my hair, my hands skimming over her back. At the chorus, I pull back, I need her to see, to understand, it's always going to be her.

_in your eyes  
>the light the heat<br>in your eyes  
>I am complete<br>in your eyes  
>I see the doorway to a thousand churches<br>in your eyes  
>the resolution of all the fruitless searches<br>in your eyes  
>I see the light and the heat<br>in your eyes  
>oh, I want to be that complete<br>I want to touch the light  
>the heat I see in your eyes<em>

Her eyes is where I see everything, it is the place I found my heart, my love and my very soul. They can bring my back from insanity and they ground me to the here and now. If there was ever a doubt that I had that she was my mate, my friend, my partner, my life…it all evaporated in this instance.

Bella's smile at my declaration through song was brilliant. She caressed my cheek with a single finger tip, but I felt as if I was completely engulfed in her, who she was and who we were. But she had more, more to show and more to give and it blew me away.

_love, I don't like to see so much pain  
>so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away<br>I get so tired of working so hard for our survival  
>I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive<em>

_and all my instincts, they return_  
><em>and the grand facade, so soon will burn<em>  
><em>without a noise, without my pride<em>  
><em>I reach out from the inside<em>

I dared not dream, to believe what this may mean. That she would eventually asked to be changed, to spend eternity with me. But the flame of hope was there, and I let it burn and she saw it. Her eyes changed and I knew there was more. She was telling me she hadn't forgotten me, forgotten us and that she needed time. If that was the only thing she would ever ask of me, it was the least I could grant her.

We finished the dance and the song forehead to forehead and our eyes wide open. I wasn't sure if we were even moving anymore, so wrapped up we were in our little bubble of love. When the last notes of the song faded, real life intruded in the form of my pixie of a sister.

"Come one Bella, there will be plenty of slow songs to dance to, but for now, your dancing with me." I wanted to scowl at her, to rip Bella out of her hands and pull her close. But Alice cut in before I could even make a move.

_Give her space, Edward. You guys were going through intense emotions, give Jasper and break and let me spend time with her._

A glance at Jasper told me she was right. He was sitting in the shadows, not hiding, but basking in the emotions he felt from us and he was trying to dole them out in small quantities. He knew that things would get crazy if he unleashed them all.

_Never have I felt something like that. It was amazing. _

I went to sit by him as we watched our girls dance. More like Alice danced around Bella who more or less swayed in place.

_She loves you, Edward. I have never felt a mated pair like you guys. And you're not even fully mated. I can only imagine what it will be like when you are. Being around her is easy; it almost makes me forget she's human._

I knew what he was _not _saying, that he has no thoughts of hurting her, that he can control his baser instincts. I admired him for admitting that, so I nodded my thanks, not wanting to make it a bigger deal. Our attentions were turned back to the floor where Bella had found her grove and was actually dancing. Her eyes were full of fun and I could hear her laughter over the din of the music and people.

I watched as she moved the suppleness of her curves and the innocence that she exudes. There was a hint of a child, but the moves of a woman- a sexy, alluring woman. She entranced me as she gave up all pretenses of shyness and just let go. It was something to behold and I couldn't sit on the sidelines any longer.

I silently moved up behind her and slid my arms around her waist and pulled her back to me, all while keeping to the beat of the music. She startled a bit, but I just kept us moving, my hands roaming over her curves and her arms. My nose skimmed the soft skin of her neck, tasting the mixture of her scent and the faint sheen of sweat.

Her ass was grinding up against me and I bit back a moan. I did let go a low growl that rumbled through my chest, it vibrated through her back and I felt her shiver. We swayed and swiveled down and back up, we were fused together and she held on tight to my arms, her head was thrown back on my shoulder. It was the ultimate form of surrender. I only wished I knew what it was she was surrendering to.

Before I could ponder any longer the song was over and once again a slow song filled the air. It wasn't a song I would normally listen to; I'm not a fan of country. But I had heard it a few days ago when Jasper was indulging in his country side. It instantly made me think of Bella and how it summed up what I was having trouble articulating. Once again, I pulled us close and let her know what my heart has a hard time telling her.

_Every time our eyes meet  
>This feeling inside me<br>Is almost more than I can take  
>Baby when you touch me<br>I can feel how much you love me  
>And it just blows me away<br>I've never been this close to anyone or anything  
>I can hear your thoughts<br>I can see your dreams_

_I don't know how you do what you do_  
><em>I'm so in love with you<em>  
><em>It just keeps getting better<em>  
><em>I wanna spend the rest of my life<em>  
><em>With you by my side<em>  
><em>Forever and ever<em>  
><em>Every little thing that you do<em>  
><em>Baby I'm amazed by you<em>

Silently she held on, she knew what I was trying to tell her, she knew that my heart was speaking to hers. She knew I was telling her regardless of the choice she made I would be there, human or vamp, it made no difference to me. All I wanted, all I needed was for us to do it together.

**A/N: Sappy wasn't it? The songs I used were (in order) You and Me by Lifehouse, In Your Eyes by Peter Gabriel and Amazed by Lonestar. OK.. now.. show me the love and maybe.. just maybe there will be another chapter later this week.!**


	21. Ch 20

**A/N: I have THE BEST READERS IN THE WORLD! Not only did ya rock my socks off with your reviews..but ya showed major love to the sappiness of the chapter! Made my heard go pitter patter! Thanks soo much. I am seriously flabbergasted by all the reviews I got! But I have to say you guys are hard to please. First you were all hating on Emmett, then you were reading to torch Rosalie... now last chapter several of you were upset with Alice's meddling. Relax guys! I promise Alice will more than make up for it!**

**So.. because you rocked my inbox with reviews.. I give you this chapter...early.. I hope you like. Much love and thanks for CullensTwiMistress for her support on this chapter... you rock girlie... you really do. Hmmm do I smell something a bit citrus-like... I don't know.. *coy smile***

**As always, I do not own Twilight.. but every night I wish upon a star that I did. ENJOY!**

Chapter 20

"For the last fucking time Emmett, she still smells the same!" My glare was murderous and my tone was beyond livid. He has asked me the same fucking question almost every day for the last few weeks. It's bad enough that I have to talk to my father about every little thing that is going on between Bella and me, but to have to deal with Emmett on top of it- it's just too much. The urge to remove a few limbs was so strong; venom was swimming in my mouth.

"Gee, calm down. I was just checking ya know. Trying to get you laid and all." The smirk on his face was just too much and I saw red. I lunged at him. He was sitting on the couch; the controller for the Xbox in his hands. When I reached him, we crashed into the stone fireplace and it cracked. In an instant, Esme and Jasper were on us and pulling us a part. Well, more like they were pulling me off Emmett who continued to grin like a moron.

"Let me go, both of you. I am tired of his crap." I was twisting and struggling in both of their grasps, looking for the perfect opportunity to get free and go back after Emmett.

"Edward you need to calm down!" Esme's words were sharp. She was really pissed off. I just didn't care; I wanted to go after Emmett more.

When I failed to cease my struggling, I was hit with suck a wave of lethargy that I collapsed into Esme's arms.

"So not fair," I mumbled to Jasper.

He just chuckled, "If I knew you would behave and calm down, I'd let ya go. But I know you're just not going to be able to do that."

He was right, I was still ticked off. However I was in no condition to do anything about it. Of course it didn't help matters that Emmett was standing there as if he won the fucking lottery. He was all happy, smug and had freedom of movement. Jasper saw the direction I was trying to seethe at and shook his head at Em.

"You really should leave. It may help him calm down." There was a hint of warning in his voice, but I was positive that Em missed it. He was too busy gloating.

"Oh, hell no! This is too good to pass up." He actually had the nerve to rub his hands together. I was so gonna rip his fucking limbs off the next opportunity I got. Before I could attempt to uselessly struggle once more, Emmett dropped to his knees and began to sob uncontrollably. A glance at Jasper proved that he was the one behind his emotional display of sadness.

Emmett's chest heaved, and his face looked anguished. It was a beautiful sight to witness. I only wished I had a camera.

"S-stop it-t-t, J-Jass-pper. N-not funny!" I would like to disagree, it was awesome. Feeling that I was more in control, he let go and stopped the waves of lethargy. I sprang back to my feet, took my phone out and took a picture of Emmett. I also, just because I could, took a short thirty second video if him blubbering like a baby. It was priceless. I held my fist out to Jasper and we bumped them in brotherly camaraderie.

Knowing I had little time before Emmett recovered, I gave him a final wave, smirked and bolted out the door to my car. I had promised Bella I would pick her up from school. Her truck had died, again. I was itching to replace that sad excuse for a vehicle.

_This isn't over, Edward! _I heard the playful tone in Emmett's voice; he knew this was all part of what our family does. Besides, with all the sex jokes and hints and constant badgering me about her scent, I had reached my breaking point.

I wasn't kidding when I said that Carlisle was on my ass about this. He was, but it was much harder to get pissed at him. So every night we would sit down and talk about what I felt and how Bella smelled to me that day. Don't ask me to explain how we rate her scent; it's boring and dry as dirt. Carlisle is practically giddy at being able to document this process. When he isn't working or talking to me about everything, he is researching. Looking for any other information he can find. He had placed calls and feelers out to every vampire he knows to garner more information. He is in his research glory.

What's even better is that he is dragging Bella into all this as, recording the human experience to a mating connection. She is lucky that she only needs to talk to him every few days or so. I think he goes easy on her, asking her the fluffy questions, unlike the third degree he unleashes upon me.

Not wanting to think any more on my Dad and his inquisition, I concentrated on Bella and the much needed alone time we are getting tonight. Since the dance several weeks ago, we have rarely had any alone time. My family is still leery of my self control and therefore gives us little space. The weather has turned colder, which makes sense since it is early November, so another rendezvous to the meadow is out of the question. Charlie has always been home, working the day shifts the last few weeks.

But tonight that would all change. It was Monday night and Charlie was going to Billy's to watch football as the Seahawks were playing San Francisco. Bella, in all of her scheming glory, managed to convince Charlie to watch the game on the reservation, stating she had a lot of homework to do. It was a brilliant move on her part and made me wonder what she was looking forward to happening.

Since the meadow, what little exploring we had been able to do was chaste in comparison. We had been limited to just being shirtless around each other, but I was looking for more. That's not to say that a shirtless Bella doesn't keep me entertained, it does. She has the world's most perfect breasts. I have been learning the best ways to elicit moans, sighs and cries just by playing with her tits. I could spend hours just playing with them. _Hmm, that could be arranged when we finally complete the bond. _I smiled at the idea, filing it away for later.

Even more, I loved the feel of Bella's hands on my body. It was a sensation unlike anything I had ever felt. It was warm and soft, tantalizing and sensual. My entire body erupted in shivers when her fingers roamed over my chest. Her delicate fingers traced every line and curve, leaving trails of fire and pleasure in their wake. A desire and hunger for her body, to make her mine, developed in the pit of my stomach. It took time, but I was able to find calm and deal with the overwhelming sensation of her skin on mine. After a few tries, the feelings no longer took me by surprise. Now, I was able to relish in her touch, the feel of just being close to her.

But I wanted us to move forward and I had a hunch that Bella was waiting for me to tell her we could. That was another thing that had grown between us, the silent ability to almost know what the other needed or wanted. It was like an innate, primal conversation that happened between us. I never told her I needed to get used to her touching me, she just knew. Then there was the time she wasn't feeling well, she had come down with a cold. Something in me said I needed to see her. When I crept into her room, she had a mild fever and body aches. I spent the whole night just taking care of her.

So lost in my mind that I never realized I was at Bella's until her scent assaulted me as she slid into the car.

"Hey, baby," she greeted me with a wide smile.

"Hey, beautiful." Like two magnets, we slowly inched our way towards each other until we were close enough to kiss. It was soft and sweet, there was no need to rush this. It was heaven to have her lips pressing against mine. I pulled away to let her breathe and we rested our foreheads together. Being with her was effortless; it was like walking, so automatic.

Knowing that if I didn't get moving we would spend the next fifteen minutes making out, I reluctantly pulled out of her driveway and sped to school. Once there I spent the whole day counting down the hours and minutes until we could be alone. To make time pass, I calculated the amount of homework we had and how much time we would really need on it, then figured out how much free time we would be left with. Sad thing was that I realized no amount of free time would be enough; I would always want more time with Bella.

Finally the end of the day was near and I was giddy with anticipation. Bella saw the need in my eyes and laughed.

"You do realize Charlie will be there when we get home, right?"

I didn't and I felt like an ass for not realizing it. So I lied. "Yea." Of course I needed to come up something better to explain my excitement. Luckily my phone buzzed giving me a few extra moments to think.

_Your theater tickets will arrive today. That should be a good reason. XO- A_

I love Alice; I need to tell her more.

_Love you, too!_

Hands down she was my favorite sister. Okay, so going to my house will waste some time, hopefully enough that Charlie would be on his way out as we were heading in. "Um, I was hoping we could swing by my house, I have a surprise for you."

Bella's look was one of complete disbelief. She knew how much I was looking forward to this day, so a trip to my house seemed odd, but she went with it.

"Sure thing. If that's what you _really _want to do." She smirked but entered my car silently. Who am I kidding? I can't fool her. Luckily, there was a surprise waiting for her, so the joke would be on her.

Not wanting to give anything away I gave her my best dazzling smile as I streaked out of the parking lot and headed towards my house. When we got there it was nice to see just Jasper and Esme were home. Em and Rose went on a few day hunting trip to Canada. The last few days have been blissful with both of them gone. Alice flew out of the car once we stopped and then she sped off into the forest with Jasper. Not bothering to figure out my siblings, I took Bella's hand as we ascended the stairs of the porch.

"Hello Bella!" Esme's smile was brilliant as she welcomed Bella with open arms. "Come in." The pleasure that my mother took in seeing Bella was endearing. Several times I had heard her think of Bella as her daughter. It reminded me how grateful I was for my family's easy acceptance of Bella in our lives. Well, with the exception of Rosalie, but I hardly counted her opinion as valid anyway. Since the incident with Bella weeks ago, we have yet to speak to each other. I liked it, personally, but I knew it bothered Esme. I am sure we will need to hash it out, just not now.

"Hello, Esme," replied Bella. She returned Esme's hug and sat down on one of the chairs by the kitchen island.

"What do I owe the pleasure of you both coming here? I thought you had plans to go to Bella's tonight." Bella looked at me with a bemused expression as she felt I was finally caught in my lie about a surprise for her. She was just waiting for me to come clean.

"I am here to pick up an envelope that came for me," I said speaking to Esme and ignoring the pointed looks Bella was shooting at me.

"It came this morning," stated Esme as she turned around her to sort through the mail on the counter. She handed me a plain envelope. I spun on my heel and faced Bella and flashed the crooked smile she liked the best.

"Here is your surprise, love." I gave her the envelope and motioned for her to open it up. She threw me a bewildered look and seeing that I would give her no hints, she tore into the envelope. I watched her eyes, waiting for the moment when she would recognize what she held in her hands.

When she pulled the four tickets out, she was confused, but when she looked at them closely, _that _was when her eyes lit up.

"Are you serious?" Her face was full of surprise, shock, excitement and wonder. I wanted to make her look like this often.

"Yes. Do you like?"

She enthusiastically nodded her head, keeping her eyes on the tickets she was holding. "I _love _it! Thanks you!" She flew into my arms and began placing kisses all over my face while laughing. I had never seen her acting with such wild abandon. I crushed her to me, enjoying the feel of her body close to me.

"Is someone going to tell me what is going on? What are those tickets for?"

Before I could answer, Bella broke from her kisses and turned towards Esme, "He got us tickets to the Pantages Theatre! One is for _Romeo and Juliet _and the other is for _Grapes of Wrath_." She turned back to me, still smiling brightly. "Thank you." She laid her head on my shoulder, hugging herself close to me.

"You're welcome, love."

_I am still a bit confused, Edward. _

"Bella has always wanted to see _Romeo and Juliet _performed on stage. We also need to see the other one for our English project. Pantages is a small intimate venue and she expressed a desire to see something performed there. We lucked out that these plays are part of their season."

I had ordered these tickets shortly after our first 'date' at the library. This was one of the many things we talked about that night. Back then I was worried that we could remain friends long enough for her to want to go with me. Now, we have two dates to look forward to.

Gripping her hand I urged her to move, "We should head back to your place. I am sure Charlie is wondering where you are."

Still excited by the sight of the tickets she had clutched firmly in her hand, she simply nodded and waved to Esme as I pulled her back outside and down the stairs towards my car.

As I got in the car, she faced me, "Thank you again for this. I can't wait to see them."

"It's my pleasure, love. Now I can take you out on two special dates." The rest of the trip passed in silence and in no time we arrived at her house.

Charlie was inside the house gathering his coat and keys as he headed out.

"Hey, kids. What you going to do tonight?"

"Um, homework, Dad. Have fun at Billy's." She easily dismissed him and began to rummage in the fridge for something to eat.

"Are you sure you don't want to come? I'm sure Jacob would love to see you again. He asks about you."

Charlie turned a sickly sweet smile my way, but I kept calm. I was certain that Bella was my mate, that she loved me as much as I did her. I also knew how Bella felt about Jacob and I was sure her response to Charlie would come as no shock to me. In fact, just to play with him some, I called out to Bella in the kitchen.

"If you want to see Jacob, Bella, I would be fine." I was facing Bella so Charlie didn't see the smirk on my face. Of course Bella did and I saw her eyes narrow ever so slightly before she answered me and her father.

"Um, Dad, Jacob and me, umm, never going to happen. He's so, ugh, annoying and pushy. No thank you. He can keep his paws to himself. Plus I like who I got now." She winked at me just as I heard Charlie's thoughts get a bit scrambled.

_There still could be a chance, maybe. No, she looks at Edward like I looked at Renee. I don't like it._

I tried to keep my face calm as his inner dialogue tried to determine the best way to keep me from his baby girl. He gave up once he saw that Bella had gone back to fixing dinner and I had begun to spread our books out on the table.

"I'm leaving Bella. See you later, okay?" He gave me what I assumed would be his best cop face. "You will be acting on your best behavior, right?"

"Yes, Sir. Just a night of studying." He gave me a skeptical look and the turned around and left. When I went back to Bella she already had a grilled cheese sandwich and chips. She was busy with math and by the looks of it, she was struggling to understand.

So for the next hour and half, we went over math, worked on our Biology presentation and I quizzed her for her history test. Anxious to spend time with just her, I asked for a reprieve from the work and took her to the couch. She offered little resistance, so I knew we were both on the same page.

For a while we watched Buffy re-runs and I laughed at the absurdity of it all. That was until she made a comment about Angel.

"I love his chest, he's so hot." Her eyes were glued to the TV as he took off his shirt and trained with Buffy.

I rolled my eyes, "How can you say he's hot? This show is just ridiculous."

"Oh, is someone jealous?" She climbed on my lap so she was straddling me. Her fingers danced along my chest, the warmth seeping in through my shirt. He mouth began a torturous journey from my neck, to my jaw, to my cheeks and then back again. My arms wound around her, holding her tight.

"No, not jealous. But wondering why pine for a fictional vampire when you got a real one of your very own?"

"Touché, baby. Well I better show my appreciation." With that her lips attacked mine, soft and gentle then fierce and demanding. It was intoxicating and I wanted more. With a muffled groan I attacked her. I flung her shirt off and threw it away while her fingers nimbly made work of the buttons of my shirt.

Over the next hour we caressed, kissed and explored every inch of exposed skin. I even managed to leave a small love bite at the crest of her breast. I was mighty proud of myself for being able to do that once again. Wanting to try and take this further, I reached for one of Bella's hands which were buried in my hair and brought it to rest on my lower abs and slowly I slid it towards my cock. It had been hard from the second she straddled me and I wanted to see if I could handle her touching it. She hesitated briefly, and I applied slight pressure to her hand letting her it was ok. Slowly her fingers dragged down towards my extremely hard dick. She applied just a small amount of pressure to the head and I hissed at the sensation.

I concentrated on keeping as calm as I could while she continued lower. It was pleasure and pain wrapped up in one and I never wanted it to end. Her fingers cautiously stroked my length before she cupped my entire length in her slim hand and gave a tiny squeeze. I couldn't contain the moan that hissed out.

Somehow through the haze a familiar sound broke through my befuddled brain. It took a few seconds to recognize it, but when I did I stilled instantly. Of course Bella did as well and her hand was still pressed against my cock.

"Charlie!" I rasped out. Her eyes went wide and she froze.

Pushing her off me I guided her towards the stairs, "Get dressed up there, in the bathroom. I'll fix down here." I placed her shirt in her arms and began to put mine back on. She still hadn't moved, paralyzed by fear. I shoved her more forcibly towards the stairs.

"Go, now!" Somehow my voice penetrated the fog in her mind and she stumbled up the stairs. I finished buttoning my shirt and turned the TV back on.

"Where's my bra," hissed Bella from upstairs. My eyes scanned the room and when I spotted it I heard Charlie pull up.

"No time. Hurry up!" I went over to her bra which was lying on the floor by Charlie's chair; I had only enough time to kick it under an end table. Needing to be doing something, I went into the kitchen to wash Bella's drinking cup.

"Hey, Edward, where's Bella?"Questioned Charlie as his eyes narrowed suspiciously on me, trying to find anything out of place.

"She went upstairs to use the bathroom. Too much water." I held up her water glass and placed it in the rack to dry. "How was the game?" I kept my gaze steady, praying that Bella would remember to flush the toilet. As if she read my mind, I heard the toilet and then the bathroom faucet as she 'washed' her hands. Seconds later she came down the stairs.

"Hey, Dad. How was the game?" She smiled at him and I listened to see what he was thinking.

_It looks too perfect here. But his buttons are done correctly. Her hair looks fine. I don't' trust him. _He tried to keep the disappointment off his face, but he didn't hide it well. Sensing that I should leave, I made a show of gathering my bag.

"I should go. Esme will be expecting me home soon." I slung my bag over my shoulder and took my jacket off the chair back. "See you Chief."

Bella walked with me to the door and gave me a hug. "Your bra is under the end table by Charlie's chair," I whispered. I gave her a cheek a chaste kiss and I could feel the blush rushing to her face.

"Thanks. Love you. Oh, by the way, you're taking me to the movies on Saturday."Then she winked at me. She fucking winked. What did _that _mean?

I hurriedly walked out to my car wondering how Charlie missed the huge erection I was sporting. I sped home, impatient to rub one out and worry about why Bella wanted to go to a movie. I was still puzzling over it when I got home. After a nice long shower in which I was able to take care of my aching dick, I settled down to listen to some music.

An hour later Alice barged in my room. "I see you barely made it out of Bella's without getting caught?" She giggled and I never hated the fact that she saw almost everything more than right now. "Well, don't worry; Saturday should make up for it." She gave also gave me a wink and danced out of my room. Okay, now I felt I was missing the joke.

I was never more excited for a school week to be over than I was now. It didn't help that everyone seemed to be in on the fact that Bella and I were going to the movies and snickered. Plus, they were all able to keep their minds off what was so funny, which was irritating. It seemed everyone was keeping secrets. Esme was constantly in her office, and whenever I came near it she started signing jazz songs, Emmett and Jasper in between teasing me about Saturday kept thinking about rocks and tearing up trees. When I questioned them, they said they were helping Esme.

I tried to put that all out of my mind as I drove to Bella's house. She was waiting for me outside as I pulled up. She looked beautiful in jeans and long sleeved peach t-shirt with a tight black vest. Her hair was straight and hanging free, just the way I liked it. I opened the door to my car and she skipped over to me.

"Hey, baby." She placed a small chaste kiss on my lips and slid into the car. I circled to the driver's side and in a matter of seconds we were on our way the movie theater in Port Angeles. We were silent on the drive, content to listen to music. I was debating on whether or not to ask Bella why she wanted to go the movies. It's not like I objected. It was a few hours I got to spend with her, alone. It also was a typical date for teens. Oh, no! What if this was her hint that she wanted a normal date? How could I be so stupid as to not take her on regular dates?

"Hey, what's got your face all puckered up over there?" There was general concern in her voice. Looking at her, I saw worry in her eyes.

"I fucked up, haven't I? You wanted to go here tonight because you wanted a normal date and I totally forgot to do that kind of stuff. I am so sorry." I felt miserable. A tiny giggle interrupted my self-flagellation.

"What's so funny?" I snarled out.

"You. All worked up because you think we aren't doing normal date things. Baby I hate to tell you, but we are so far from normal. Just relax. You will see later why I wanted to do this." She placed another chaste kiss on my cheek and bounded out the car. I never realized we had arrived at the theater.

Bella was waiting for me at the curb and I shook myself out of the daze I was in and hurried over to her. She reached for my hand and we twined them together. We headed over to the ticket counter where we got tickets to some romantic comedy that had been out for a while. Bella seemed to be excited about it, so it couldn't be too bad, right.

We stopped off at the concession stand to get Bella some pop and popcorn. It smelled weird. I must have made a face at it for suddenly Bella was throwing it at me and it landed in my hair and a piece went down my shirt.

"What was that for?"

She giggled, "You were making a face at it so I figured I'd let you get up close and personal with it." She helped me pick the pieces out of my hair. Once clean, we snuggled close. We both loved that this theater had moveable armrests. We put ours up so we could cuddle. Minutes later the lights went down and the movie started.

I was surprised that the there were few people in the theater, especially for a Saturday night. I did notice several theaters dedicated to a newer movie, I think it was about witches or wizards or something. Bella had expressed an interest in seeing that one, so I wondered why we didn't see that one. But all thoughts of the other movie ended when Bella cuddled up closer and rest her head on my shoulder.

We sat watching the movie for some time when I felt Bella's hand move from being around my waist, down my side and to the top of my thigh. I sucked in a quick breath when I felt her fingers make designs on my jean clad legs. My dick grew with the proximity of her hand. Unsuccessfully I tried to focus on the movie but when her hand slowly crept higher and over towards my cock, I lost all interest in the movie.

A soft caress of her hand made me gasp, a lone finger that trailed over and over my length, had me closing my eyes and drowning in a sea of sensation. I was adrift; there was pleasure, need, desire, and the urge to claim. It was those feeling that frightened me the most, I could not screw up the connection. It was too important, Bella was too important.

With an inner strength I wasn't aware I possessed, I placed my hand upon her hand stilling her movements over my cock. "Bella," was my strained and strangled plea.

She leaned closer, her lips at my ear, I could feel her warmth, her heat and I wanted to wrap myself around it. "Relax. This is the perfect place for this. You will need to focus on something, the movie, or the people, anything but what I will be doing. You can do this." There was a confidence to her; she was asking me to trust her. Problem was that I did, it was my own torturous emotions and urges that I wasn't sure I could rein in. But I found myself nodding against my better judgment.

Bella removed the hand that was covering hers and placed it on the armrest. I took a few centering breaths, willing my mind and body to stay under control. I had no idea what Bella was trying to prove, but I had to believe in her. She would never do something to jeopardize our bond.

Knowing that if I looked at what she was doing I would lose it, I focused part of my brain on the movie and the other half on her hand which was back to slowly stroking my cock through my jeans. With each pass she increased the pressure, slow and steady. It was maddening.

On the upstroke she paused at the button of my pants and flicked it open. Just that small amount of relief for my dick had me fighting a moan. I heard the metal clicks of my zipper being lowered and I chanced a look at Bella. Her warm eyes met mine and all I saw was brutal honesty. She wanted to do this for me. She wanted to take that step that was interrupted earlier in the week. She was doing this for us, for me. As if she heard me, she mouthed, 'For us.' I nodded my consent.

With the zipper lowered she grasped both my jeans and boxers and began to tug them lower. I lifted my hips to help her out. She pulled them only to the top of my thighs, just enough room for my cock to spring out. It was hard, achingly so and there was a small bead of pre-cum glistening on the tip.

A soft gasp left Bella as her hand tentatively reached out to make contact. My eyes were glued on her hands; it was like they were moving in slow motion. With such gentleness she clasped my rock hard dick in her hands and ran her thumb back and forth over the head. I hissed and groaned at the same time, her hands stilled.

Her hand was so warm and to feel her heat surrounding my cock, it was almost too much to deal with. So I concentrated on my breathing, keeping it steady. I could be in control, I could handle this. I would never hurt Bella. Over and over those mantras repeated themselves. I could feel Bella as she monitored my every reaction. Her hand never moved just her thumb, the pressure never changing; she was letting me get used to the sensation.

When my breathing calmed she slowly moved her entire hand up and down my length. One of my hands gripped the armrest while the other the back of the seat Bella was sitting in so I was mindful of the amount of pressure I was exerting on them. So slow were her movements, they were like several soft feathers just teasing me. Ever so patiently she added more and more pressure and speed, with her thumb swiping my now leaky head. My mind was all over the place. It felt too good. There was the urge to claim, to thrust, to take her away and mark her, there was the feeling of the plastic of the seats in my hand and her gently rhythmic pumping of my cock.

My body was erupting in chills and shivers, I knew what it meant- it was the early signs of my release. I tried to breathe through them, not wanting them to overwhelm me and take over. I felt it all; the heat of her hands, the slickness of my dick, the pressure of her fingers, the small breathy pants of Bella, the rolling sensation building in my stomach, rushing and pulsating.

Suddenly I needed more; it had to harder and faster. Without a word my hand covered Bella's and I showed her what I wanted. Together we sped up, increasing the pressure, her hand squeezing the head on each upstroke. My moans could not be contained, so I bit my lip to muffle them. The pressure in my belly was intense and I knew it wouldn't take much more for me to fall over and explode. Our hands were a blur, they were slick and they touched and squeezed everything. Her tongue licked the shell of my ear as she bent closer to me, she never faltered in her ministrations.

"Cum for me, Edward. It's okay, let go." She bit down gently on my lobe and squeezed my head in the same movement and it was all I needed. My hips thrust up as my release shot out and landed on my stomach and our joined hands. Shudders wracked my body as I rode out the last few waves of my orgasm. Bella was nuzzling my neck as we slowed our stroking.

With amazement I watched as Bella lifted a finger covered in my cum and her pink tongue darted out to lick it clean. There was no helping the low growl in seeing her being covered in my essence. So transfixed by the imagery I didn't realize that Bella was cleaning me up until she was almost done. I helped her finish up and I pulled my pants up and fastened them close.

"Why?" It was all I could think to ask and say. But I had to know, understand.

She smiled at me; there was a glint of smug satisfaction in her eyes. "Because I wanted to." With that she kissed me and settled back to watch the movie. It was then that I realized what a dangerous, but beautiful creature Bella was.

**A/N: HEHE.. Bella getting friky at the movies.. what did ya think? How about a crying Emmett? I am evil I know. I will update next week... now... go show me some love... come on...make me proud!**


	22. Ch 21

**A/N: Here we go my lovlies..you are all a bunch of fiesty readers! Soo many of you loved a crying Emmett! It warmed my heart! I hope you like this new chapter- *evil smile***

**A HUGE shout out to CullensTwiMistress- 1) For helping me with this story and listening to all my crazy ideas and being the voice of sanity 2) For her KICK ASS banner she made for TMC- link is for it is on my profile- CHECK IT OUT!**

**Umm kimboacp- here is your present.. I expect you will say I was right!**

**I do not own anything Twilight related- but if I did, I'd make sure Emmett cried at least once a chapter! ENJOY!**

Chapter 21

I needed to come to a decision. I couldn't drag this on much longer. It wasn't fair to Edward, he deserved an answer. He has been nothing short of patient and understanding. A month had gone by since we talked about whether I wanted to become a vampire or not. A month since I asked for time to think. A month in which the decision never left my thoughts. A month in which I was nowhere near giving an answer.

I felt conflicted and confused. I was standing at a crossroads. One direction was safe, comfortable and familiar. It was the normal, natural progression of life. I would go to college, get married, have kids, grow old and die. It was the cyclical course of life. It would be path that would allow me to keep my father in my life. I wouldn't have to crush him with news of his child's death.

The other path held nothing of familiarity. It was filled with the unknown, a path devoid of anything I understood and could fathom. There were uncertainties, pain and fear littered across that path. But it also held the greatest love I would ever know. That path led to an eternity with the one which I felt completed me. I never knew love like this existed and I had it.

I knew that no matter which path I picked, I would hurt someone; I would disappoint someone I loved very much. That thought alone made me feel raw and desolate. It was at times, too big of a decision to rest on my shoulders and mine alone. But it could be no other way. This was my life and it was up to me to make the choice: stay human and eventually lose Edward or become a vampire and hurt my father by leaving his life forever.

I stared at the ceiling in my room, looking for anything that would give me the help, the guidance I so desperately needed. There were very few people I could talk to about this and that pissed me off. The ones I could talk to are letting figure this out on my own. Except, maybe I could pick their brains, to try and sort out the jumble of thoughts and feelings flying through my brain. Someone who I could vent everything I could no longer keep bottled up.

I closed my eyes, thought real hard about the one I wanted to talk to. Seconds later my phone buzzed with an incoming text.

_I am on my way._

Tears sprung in my eyes as my wishes were heard. While I knew they wouldn't hold the answer, they could just be here to listen, to help me, to tell me that it would be just fine. I closed my eyes, willing the tears to go away, I hated them, they made me feel week. But I had to remember that they were not a sign of weakness, but an outward symbol that this is greater than myself. I curled up into myself, trying to hold the pieces of my fragile mind together.

So wrapped up I was in trying to compose my emotions I never heard as my savior entered my room and slid onto the bed with me. They wrapped their marble arms around me and held me close. Finally it felt alright to let go, I was safe. So I did, I let the arms of the only sister I would ever know keep me safe as I cried myself to sleep.

Hours later I woke up in bed, with Alice still lying with me. My eyes opened to her golden eyes, filled with concern and worry.

"Hey, girl, you okay?" Her hand gently ran through my hair in such a calming and soothing motion. I sat up further in bed, to let the covers fall to my lap. It was then that I realized I was in my sleep wear and so was Alice. I gave her a quizzical look.

"Charlie thinks I am sleeping over and I thought you may be more comfortable sleeping in you pajama's than regular clothes." Now it was her turn to throw a questioning glance my way.

"I'm okay." I scrubbed my face with my hands as I tried to explain to her what happened when I wasn't completely sure I understood myself. "This was the first time I really sat down and thought about everything. It was overwhelming and I just broke. I am sorry."

"Why are you apologizing? You have _nothing_ to feel sorry about." Her eyes were fierce, daring me to defy her. Her hand nuzzled my cheek. "I want to help, in any way that I can. Let me help you." Now her eyes were soft and pleading.

How could I say no to her? Why would I want to? I needed her here, fuck, I asked for her to be here. My hand held hers to my face. "No, I want you here. I need you, sister." At that endearment her eyes grew wide and then closed as her lip slightly quivered. After a few moments, she looked at me and smiled.

She scooted closer and snuggled next to me. "So, talk to me. What's going on in that head of yours?"

So I told her how I was feeling before she got there, the overwhelming sense of confusion and my worry that no matter what I did I would cause pain. I told her how I felt I needed to make a choice, that there was no reason to delay.

"Can I ask you a question, and will you be honest?" I wasn't sure why I doubted her; Alice had done nothing that would lead me to believe she would lie. But I was gripped with uncertainty and needed reassurance.

"Of course," was her simple but honest reply.

"Did you ever have visions of me as a vampire?" I was both fearful and excited about her answer.

"I had visions of you as a vampire in the past." The way she trailed off let me know she was omitting a 'but'.

So I prodded her, "But…what about now?"

"Now, it's murky. Because you haven't made the choice, your future is up in the air. Once you make a choice, things may become sharper, clearer. But in all honesty, Bella, even when I did see you as a vampire, it wasn't one hundred percent clear."

I wasn't sure what to make of that, so I filed it away, to look at later. In silence I thought and Alice just stayed close, her hands continued to stroke my hair.

"What would you like me to decide?" I wasn't sure why I asked Alice and Edward both, maybe it was because their opinions mattered to me.

"For you to listen to your heart. To do what is right for you. I don't care if you stay human or become a vamp, you're always going to be my sister." It was a cop out answer, but I knew Alice was speaking honestly. It was what I expected from her. "With that said, I don't want to lose you." I heard her voice crack. I didn't want to lose her either.

"What if you were in my place, Alice? What if you were human when you met him?" It wasn't a fair question. Alice had no memories of her human life. She knew basic facts about the asylum she was in, the treatments she was given, and that she had still living relatives. But beyond what she has been able to piece together, she had no past to fall back on.

I watched her as she thought about my questions, her eyes focused on a spot just behind me on the wall. Her eyes were motionless as was her body. But I had no doubt her brain was going a million miles an hour.

"It's a difficult question to answer. I am sure you know that." All I could do was nod my head, this I knew. Didn't mean that I didn't want her to answer. I felt selfish for asking.

"If I had felt even a partial amount of what I felt when I first saw him in that diner as a human, I would have gone wherever he asked. When we touched, it was like I was home, and that he was my safe harbor. I can't see my life without him." Her voice trailed off and I knew that was all I would get from her.

But it was more than enough. I could read between the lines. When all was said and done, Alice would choose Jasper over everyone and anything else. Did I expect her to make any other choice? I mean I knew you couldn't have Jasper without Alice and vice versa. They were two halves to a whole. I had no doubt that if Alice stayed human, Jasper would have found away to join her.

I let out a huge yawn and Alice chuckled. "You need to sleep. Edward wouldn't be too happy if he knew I wasn't making sure you got plenty of sleep." I knew she was right but I had two more questions.

"Can you see Charlie's future?" I hoped she understood what I was asking, that I didn't have to say the words just yet. I watched as she closed her eyes in fierce concentration. Her whole body completely stilled. Feeling a bit panicky, I matched my breathing to her easy and slow pace.

"There is a lot of uncertainty, Bella. It's hard to get a fix on him and his future. Maybe, once you make a choice I will be able to see more. But for right now, I don't see much." It was kinda what I expected her to say and honestly, I was glad I was right. Edward would be furious to know that I made my choice based off of Alice's visions. I couldn't blame him. This had to come from me, no one else.

Feeling sleepy, I just thought of my next question, picturing Alice in my head what I needed her help with. I saw her smile as the vision came. "Consider it done." With that she tucked me into bed and hummed as I fell fast asleep.

I awoke the next morning to Alice dressed for the day and sketching on a sketch pad in my rocking chair.

"Morning, Alice. What are you drawing?" I let out a loud yawn which caused Alice to laugh.

"Morning to you as well. Dresses, specifically prom dresses. Do you know you talk in your sleep?" I couldn't help the blush that grew, worried about what Alice may have heard. I did have one dream about Edward, but it was quickly fading. I think there was kissing, but I can't be sure.

"Yes, I know. What did you hear?" I realized I let her prom dress comment go, I wasn't sure I even wanted to know.

"You love my brother, that's for sure." I wanted to wipe the smirk off her face but I knew it would hurt me more than her. So I did the next best thing, I stuck my tongue out at her, which only made her laugh harder. "Time for me to go and you need to shower and eat breakfast."

Part of me didn't want her to go, not until I could figure this out. But it wasn't going to work that way and I accepted that. Alice flitted over to me and gave me a tight hug.

"You'll figure it out, I trust you. He's expecting you at ten." I nodded my head and watched her walk out of my room and down stairs. Seconds later the door opened, then closed and I was alone.

I knew I had two hours before I had to be anywhere, and I should do something to distract myself, but there was nothing that would. When I was done showering and eating I had more than an hour to waste. Needing someone, anyone to talk to, I did an impulsive thing, I called Angela.

We talked for several minutes getting caught up in our lives and such. When out of the blue I blurted, "I have a weird question for you?" Feeling like complete dweeb, I tried to make it better but I think I just came off as needing serious medical help.

"I was reading this book and it umm…got me thinking. If you could live forever with the love of your life, but you would need to leave your family behind, would you? In the book the character chooses eternity. Wasn't that selfish?"

Angela laughed and I tried not to get angry, but it was hard. "Reading more of those fantasy books, Bella?"

I tried to laugh it off like her, but to me this was serious business, "Yea, I guess. I was just having a hard time understanding their choice." I hoped she didn't hear the desperation in my voice.

"I can see it. I mean, if this is truly once-in-your-lifetime kind of love, why would you ever give it up?"

"But what about the family you are leaving behind?" My knuckles were gripping the phone, frantically wishing that Angela would have the answers I felt were too far beyond me to understand.

"Well, I guess, I would hope that my family would love me enough to want me to be happy." Before I could process what she said, I heard a loud noise over the phone. "Shit, Bella I got to go. I am babysitting the twins and one just pushed the other one down. Talk later, okay?"

"Um, yea sure. Thanks."

"Bye," she said quickly and then she hung up. Stunned, I hung up as well and stared off into space.

I have never thought of it that way. Would Charlie want me to be happy, no matter the cost? It was a hard concept to wrap my head around. It was all I thought about as I drove into town to meet the person Alice helped connect me to.

As I got out of my car, my phone alerted me to a text.

_He's around the back, in the memorial garden.- A_

_**Thanks for doing this.- B**_

Silently I walked around the large building to the beautiful garden in back. I had never been here before, but even I could see the draw that brought people out here. Even in the beginnings of winter, the foliage is still lush and green. The small fountain still babbled with the sounds of soothing water. The paths were winding and held spectacular views of the entire space. Low stone benches were spaced evenly about and it was on one of them that I spotted him.

He beamed a smile at me as I sat down next to him. "Good morning, Bella. Nice to see you."

"Morning to you as well, Carlisle. Thanks for agreeing to talk to me." I gave him a smile, or at least I thought I did, it felt more like a grimace. I wasn't sure why I was so nervous to talk to him. As part of this whole connection thing, I have been talking to him on an almost weekly basis.

"No problem, I have to work later so it was no problem to come a bit early. What can I do for you? Alice was a bit vague."

Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. I could do this; I owed it to myself to do this. Just as Edward told me all he needed me to know, I knew there was more to understand.

"Can you explain a bit more about what happens if a vampire loses their mate?" I barely breathed the words, but I had no doubt he heard them.

"That's an intense question Bella. May I ask why you are wondering?" It seemed a fair compromise to explain my reasoning.

"Well, I am trying to decide if I should stay human or not." For a strange reason I couldn't say the word vampire around Carlisle. Maybe it was that he hardly acted like one so it was easy to forget what he was. His gentle and peaceful manner never screams vampire. "Which means that if I decide to stay human, I'll die. I want to know what that means for Edward." I kept my gaze on the shrubs in front of us, not able to see whatever emotion Carlisle was feeling.

"I have only had personal experience with two vampires who lost their mates. It is not something I wish to experience again." He paused, and I knew it was to give me time to take back my question, but I couldn't. I _had _to know, to understand.

He sighed before he continued. "One I had met after he lost his mate. It had been several hundred years since he lost her and he felt her loss as if it was yesterday. He was a quiet, apathetic man. He rarely found enjoyment in anything. I had heard that when his mate was alive, he was so full of joy and happiness. Her death shook him and he hasn't been the same."

I shuddered as I pictured Edward like that, lifeless. It was an image that hurt and I quickly banished it away. I only wanted to think of him as he is now; smiling, happy, and full of vitality and love. That was _my _Edward.

"And the other?" I prodded him when he was too quiet.

"He went mad. He had seen her destroyed in front of his very eyes and he couldn't handle it. He ended up being destroyed by the rulers of our kind." Now it was his turn to whisper and I closed my eyes against the spasm of pain that ripped through me at the idea of Edward being destroyed.

Silence enveloped us and I liked that he didn't push me to talk. We were both lost in our own thoughts and it gave me space to think. After a few minutes, I knew I could trust Carlisle, I knew I could expose my inner fears and he would keep me safe.

"I worry that if I choose eternity with Edward that it would be the most selfish thing I could do," my words were the barest whispers, but I rushed to get them out. The faster I did, the less they would hurt. "I would leave my father behind, make him think I was dead and then go on living my life with my soul mate. Part of me wishes I could tell him; make him understand that I would be fine. But, on the other hand, how can I sentence Edward to so much pain if I die? That's just too cruel. No matter how I look at it, I am hurting someone I love for selfish reasons. How could I ever live with myself?"

I laid it all out for him and I was amazed at how light I felt, no longer did I feel burdened with all my fears and guilt. To be able to share them with someone was a freeing notion.

"You make valid points, Bella. Let's see if we can work through them, okay?" I nodded to him, hoping he could ease my troubled spirit. "In some aspects it would be easier if you could tell Charlie, but it is for his own safety that we can't. There are rules, as it is, Edward is breaking them."

This wasn't anything new to me. I had heard all about the ruling coven in Italy and the rule about secrecy. Being the mate of a vampire allowed me to know, but the expectation was that I would be turned. Edward was granting me a choice, knowing there were consequences if I stayed human.

"As for your feeling selfish, I would say you are anything but. The fact that you are taking Charlie and Edward into consideration tells me that you are far from selfish. You are a caring and loving woman who has spent her whole life taking care of those around you. It's a pity that you haven't had many people care for you."

Those last few words rocked me. The truth in them hurt and I felt defensive and sad all at the same time. I knew that Carlisle wasn't demeaning my parents, but he was highlighting something that I had thought about before. It was a painful truth I had come to grips with, but to have an outsider see it, it left me feeling vulnerable.

"If I was your daughter, how would you feel, what would you say to me, if I came to you with this choice?" My question was convoluted, so I hoped he understood what I was trying to get at.

"You don't pose easy questions, do you Bella? But then, this choice before you isn't easy, so it makes sense. Problem is I can't place myself in his shoes. All I can say is that as a parent, we want what is best for our children. We want them to enjoy life, learn and experience all that they can. There comes a time when we need to let go, to trust them to do what is right for them. Certainly we can catch them if they fall, give them support. But, eventually we let them find their own way, and if we truly love them, we will support their choices."

I smiled at him; the warmth and sincerity in his words were evident. He wasn't going to hand the answer to me, that wasn't his style. But he had a way of making me think about things in ways I never knew. He slowly wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. I let myself relax against him.

He looked at his watch, "I have to go soon, so I have two parting thoughts. One, just because you choose eternity, doesn't mean _you _can't be a part of Charlie's life, even if he can't be a part of _your _life."

He let that hang there, while I tried to understand what he was saying. I knew there was a hidden meaning, a clue he was giving me. When I couldn't figure it out I looked up at him, letting him know I would need to think about that. He simply nodded and continued.

"Secondly, life is full of choices that have the potential to hurt others, doesn't mean that they are not the right ones to make." I looked at him confused. "Sometimes the choice that is right for you will cause the biggest heartache and pain, still doesn't stop it from being right for you. Sometimes you can only think about doing right by you, not by others. That isn't selfish; it's doing what you need to be happy in _your _life."

Once again, he had me speechless. I tried to find some fault, some crack in his logic and reasoning that I could exploit. But there wasn't and that threw me for a loop. So stunned, I never saw Carlisle as he rose from the bench until he towered over me.

"Think about it. If you want to talk some more, don't hesitate to call me yourself." With that said, he brushed a soft kiss on my forehead and was gone.

I stayed seated on that bench until a light rain began to fall. It was enough to break through my clouded brain and get me moving. In what seemed to be a matter of seconds I was back home and I flopped on the couch. The rain beat down steadily on the roof and before I knew it I was fast asleep.

My dream was filled with images of my parents and Edward. Somehow the choices I faced were played out in front of me. Then I watched my conversation with Carlisle play out and this time I really listened to what he was trying to say. Over and over his words echoed in my head and then they rearranged themselves into something that made sense. With a start I woke up and I finally understood what he was trying to tell me.

In my head, I played out the choice that his words were leading me towards. I could see the heartache and the uncertain journey that I would face, but I knew that I could deal with them. Ideas and plans were being formulated and arranged in my head, till they resembled something I knew I could live with. Now, all that I needed to do was to put everything into motion. There was only one person I could think of who I could turn to. With trembling hands, I dialed my phone, when they picked up, I didn't wait for them to speak.

"Hey, I really need your help with something."

**A/N: *hides behind Alice, who is standing tall and glaring at all of you* Be nice guys, hurt her and ya never know what Bella decides! However, if you review and guess what you think Bella will choose, I may be able to talk her into posting the next chapter early- but only if 10 people guess right! Well,what are you waiting for? Push that button- I'm not leaving till you do!**


	23. Ch 22

**A/N: WOW.. once again you guys blew me away with your reviews and votes! I have some of the best readers ever! So, because you voted and most guessed right.. here is your reward!**

**I would like to clear up something regarding last chapter and Bella. Alot of you felt Bella was being rather harsh in how she viewed eternity with Edward, which wasn't my intention. What I wanted to show in that chapter was something I felt was missing from the books, a solid consideration of Charlie being left behind. As a child, I shudder at the idea that my parents would have to bury me.. its not the normal progression...soo that was how Bella was viewing it. IF she picked Edward, she would be forcing Charlie to think he was burying his child and that was a hard thing to reconcile for her... I hope this better explains.**

**To kimboacp here it is sweetie.. enjoy. CullensTwiMistress... what can I say...you helped in huge ways when I was writing this chapter and I think it turned out awesome!**

**I do not own Twilight or the characters...but I do own this story! ENJOY...and finally... her choice! *sniff*...what do I smell?**

Chapter 22

The whole week was fucking crazy. Everyone was acting so weird. Jasper and Emmett were always coming home covered in dirt and grime but I couldn't pick their brain as to why. Carlisle and Esme were carefully guarding their thoughts as well. I wasn't sure if I should get paranoid or freak out. Even worse, Alice had her thoughts on permanent lock down. Instead of her thoughts I was treated to songs translated into Latin, or she would translate everything she heard into sign language. After a few days of trying to break through, I gave up.

Even Bella was acting strange. Ever since Alice went to her house a week ago, she has been quiet and contemplative. Several times I tried to talk to her, but she constantly assured me that she was fine and was just thinking. Never had I wanted to be able to read her mind as I wanted to this whole fucking week. I asked Carlisle if she was okay, knowing that he also spoke to Bella earlier in the week and he assured me she was fine. When I questioned him as to why they talked, he told me he wouldn't betray her confidence in him. That made me feel like a complete ass.

The only one not hiding anything from me was Rosalie. Instead she was her usual bitchy self. A few weeks ago Emmett told me he tried to talk to her, but she refused. She felt she was entitled to her opinion and that was that. She said she didn't have to accept Bella and 'fawn over her' like everyone else was doing. I knew that he tried. So I didn't fault him when Rose refused to see another point of view.

So here it was, late afternoon on a Saturday. I wanted to spend it with Bella but Esme needed me to pick something up in Portland. She was going for a nice get away with Carlisle up to Vancouver so she couldn't pick it up. I asked Bella to join me on the road trip but she told me she had plans with Charlie. I was disappointed that I would be making this drive alone.

I didn't mind being alone, it gave me time to think about Bella and our relationship. I have had thoughts about asking her to marry me, but worried about whether she would say yes. I know, I should have more faith in our bond, in the connection we share, but I still worry. The more I think about it, the more I want to wait to ask her after we have mated. You may call that cheating, I call it insurance.

So wrapped up in my own mind I hardly realized that I had pulled into my driveway. I took the car all the way into the garage as that is where Esme needed the boxes to be stored. Once I had placed the last of the four boxes in the back of the garage, I realized that I couldn't hear anyone. I knew that Carlisle and Esme would be gone, but I thought for sure that my siblings would be home.

Curious I went into the house and I was stunned at the sight before me. There in the living room were hundreds of lit candles. The glow was creating a warm and relaxed atmosphere. There was soft jazz playing in the background and all the furniture had been pushed back against the wall. A warm, crackling fire was going adding to the mood of the room. Then I saw her and I was speechless.

Bella was sitting nervously on the floor in front of the fire. The light was illuminating her, making her appear more angelic than she already was. She had on a long flowing blood red skirt and a white peasant blouse that rested off her shoulders. Her hair was piled on her head in a messy bun. She never looked more ravishing. When I finally had enough presence of mind, I made my legs take me over to her.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had plans?" I blurted the words and cringed inwardly, they sounded harsher than I meant. "You are beautiful beyond words," I said trying to make up for my earlier verbal flub.

I was rewarded with an adorable blush and I watched as it gave slight color to her exposed neck and shoulders. I had to tamp down the urge to lick wherever the blush touched her. My eyes roamed all over the room, taking in the candles, the fire and Bella dressed up. I was still confused as to what was going on.

"Sorry for the little while lie. I needed time to set this up." I gave her a skeptical look. I knew she couldn't rearrange the furniture by herself. "Okay, Alice helped me with the furniture and candles. The rest I did myself." She gestured to the floor. "Sit with me?" there was vulnerability in her voice that drew me in.

The floor was covered by a thick rug and then several plump pillows were scattered around. It was close enough to the fire that it would warm my body. I wondered if I would be able to take advantage of that and find a way to snuggle with Bella. My thoughts were interrupted when she grabbed both of mine hands. She was lightly rubbing her thumbs over the backs of my hands. I could feel the tension and anxiety rolling off her.

"Are you okay, Bella? What's going on? Why are not looking at me?" I couldn't help but fire off the rapid questions, I was beginning to worry that something was terribly wrong. Silently I pled with her to raise her face so I could see that everything was fine, that _she _was fine.

As if she heard me, slowly she raised her face and I gasped. Never had I seen her look so exultant. She had a soft smile, but her eyes were shinning with tears and so many emotions. I saw love, peace, happiness. The air seemed to be electrified between us. I was simply transfixed on her that I never saw the small box in her hands.

She brushed a wayward lock of my hair back with such tenderness and reverence that it took my breath away. "I don't have a way with words or fancy speeches or declarations, so I am going to just say what comes. Just bear with me, okay?" So entranced in her, I could only nod.

She took a deep breath before she continued on. "I love you, Edward. Will you make me yours, for eternity?" With that she opened up the small black box she was holing and nestled in the satin was a simple band of gold with three small stones set into it. There was a ruby, a diamond and what looked like topaz.

But my mind was trying to comprehend her question and what it meant. I had an idea, but I was worried that I had misunderstood and I couldn't deal with the disappointment if I was wrong.

"Bella?" was all I could choke out, my hand was trembling as I reached for her. "Are you asking me to…?" I couldn't even say the words; my heart was so far into my throat I was going to suffocate on it. Several times I tried to say the words, each time I could only open and close my mouth. I was getting so frustrated with myself.

With a smile she took my trembling hand into hers and looked into my eyes, her gaze was steady and sure. "I mean that I want you to change me. I want to be your mate for all eternity, if you will have me."

I saw her mouth form the words, I heard the words as they fell from her lips, but somehow, I felt it was all a dream. I could feel her tiny warm hands stroking my icy trembling ones. I could hear her heart race and the blood pulse in her veins. This wasn't a dream. She was choosing a life with me.

"Are you sure?" I had to ask, fear that she may change her mind, or that one day she would regret her decision weighed heavily on me. But I couldn't deny the happiness that was threatening to overwhelm me any second now.

Her smile was brilliant, "Yes, I am sure. You are what I want, what I need." With that I pulled her to me and crushed my lips to her. This wasn't a soft or easy kiss. No, it was fierce and triumphant. I poured my need, my relief, and my fucking heart into that kiss. Only after a while did I remember she needed to breathe and there was a box poking into my gut.

When I pulled away, her face was flushed even more and her lips were swollen from our kiss, her eyes were slightly dazed and her breathing erratic. I kept my hands on her, needing the connection that only she could provide. She was grounding me from feeling so high I could fly.

"What's with the ring?" I finally asked. Her sudden shyness at my question had me intrigued.

"I thought that since it would be my venom in my body, marking me as yours, that the ring could be my mark on you." She said all this while looking in her lap. I knew she was embarrassed and maybe a bit apprehensive how I would take it. But I couldn't deny the effect her words had on me.

Placing a finger under her chin and raising it up so I could look into her eyes, "I love it. Tell me about it. Do the stones mean anything?" My easy acceptance of her gift brought a smile and a light back into her eyes.

"Um yea, they do. The ruby represents my blood; the diamond represents you, or being a vampire in general. The topaz represents our mutual choice in eye color." I was in awe of the thought she put into this token of her love. "The thicker part of the ring holds a small amount of my blood. It's encased in a tiny hollow tube. I wanted you to have a part of me with you always. I also got it engraved."

She presented the ring to me to inspect it. The gold shone in the muted light and the gems gleamed. It was such an original creation and I loved it. Holding it up so I could see inside the band I saw the flowing script. It simply read; _Eternally Yours- B_.

I was astounded by her. She was perfect and she was mine. She took the ring from my hand and gently slipped it on the ring finger of my right hand. It fit perfectly. Once in place she kissed it gently. It looked good there and she echoed the same sentiments.

Pulling her onto my lap I snuggled with her. "Can I ask when you made the decision and how you came to do all this?" I gestured to the room, still bathed in soft candlelight. Part of my brain had trouble reconciling all that was happening. It seemed too good to be true. How was it that I was destined for everything I ever wished for? My brain was so busy looking and searching for the clues that it would all come crashing down on me. So I held her. Her warmth was the only thing reminding me this was real.

"Within the last week. This is what I was talking to Alice and Carlisle about." She paused, waiting for my reaction. But I had none, still stunned and speechless over it all. So I nudged her to continue.

She told me about how she felt she needed to make a choice, that it was weighing heavily on her and that she couldn't handle the unknown hovering over us. So she talked to Alice about her visions regarding us, and if she could see Charlie's future. Her biggest concern for him was that he would be left alone. She then talked to Carlisle about mates, her feelings of guilt and right and wrong.

"It was something that he said that kinda helped me. He made me realize that sometimes making the right decision meant someone would be hurt, but it didn't stop it from being the right choice. I knew then, what I think my heart always knew. I _had _to be with you. One lifetime with you will never be enough."

She placed such a sweet and gentle kiss on my lips. It was her vow to me, to love me and to stay by me and be eternally hers. I returned the kiss with equal passion and solemn vow. Mine was to cherish her and be thankful for each day she gives to me. When we pulled away our eyes reflected so much emotion, it was mesmerizing.

"Once I made the decision, I never felt freer, like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. Then I got the idea for the ring. Alice helped me with it all. Even Carlisle who drew the blood, didn't know what I was doing. But Alice made sure we had the house to ourselves and got you out long enough to set up."

I owed Alice for a few decades for helping Bella with this. It meant so much to hear how she truly gave this serious thought and consideration. But even more amazing was the happiness and excitement she displays when talking about it. She _wants _to be a vampire.

"So, we have the house to ourselves for tonight?" My eyes smoldered as I watched her, a need so fierce was pounding through me. I craved Bella's touch.

"Until tomorrow morning when everyone returns." She looked up at me through lowered lashes and I could feel the pull, the connection between us. My entire body hummed with the charge I felt when she was close. Yet, tonight, it was more intense, more potent. Desire, love, want, lust, and need flowed through me. I could see it coursing through Bella as well.

I threaded my hands in her hair, feeling the silk tresses as they fell through my fingers. Softly I began to kiss Bella. I started at her forehead, feathering tiny kisses all over, and then moving to her eyes which had fluttered close. Slowly and methodically I kissed her face, while Bella gripped my arms tightly, holding her close to me.

Lastly I descended to her lips and placed small chaste kisses, moving to slow nibbles of her lips, to sweeping my tongue along her lips asking for entrance. When she opened I could no longer hold back the fierce need coursing though me. I plundered her mouth, sweeping and searching. My body shuddered from the heat of her mouth.

Slowly I laid her down on the soft rug; I pulled at the bun and watched as her hair fanned out. She looked like an angel. I wanted to weep for the beauty she was, but settled for showing her how very much I worshipped her. My lips never left her body and I traveled down to her neck. Finding all the spots I knew she loved, the ones that made her moan.

It wasn't long before she offered me a sweet moan of pleasure, her hands digging into my back. With a forthrightness I did not know she possessed, she pulled my shirt up and off. The fire glinted off my skin and I sucked in a quick breath of air as her hands roamed my chest. The warmth of her hands combined with the heat of the fire made my iciness less noticeable.

"Your warmer." It was an exclamation of wonder and she graced me with a blinding smile. "It feels wonderful." So I let her explore my now warmed skin as I slowly pushed her peasant blouse up and off her body. I gasped as I realize she was braless. The firelight played over her skin, bathing it in a golden hue.

Needing to taste her I slowly worked my way from her collar to the gentle slope of her breast where I kissed everywhere but the nipples, which were straining for attention. In a quick move I engulfed her nipple and palmed her other breast. Together I pulled and plucked, sucked and nibbled. All the while Bella's hands on me never stopped moving.

She arched her back in pleasure as I continued my assault on her breasts. She was so responsive to me. Shudders rippled though her body and my name fell like a chant from her lips. I could smell her arousal and it sweetened in the warm air. It called to me, beckoning me to seek out her warm, wet heat.

So I slowly trailed one hand down her stomach, to lightly swirl around her belly button, to the soft skin of her hips. There my fingers stroked and caressed every inch of her supple skin. Easily I was able to push the elastic waistband of her skirt down; Bella raised her hips so I could push the skirt to her knees. My fingers trailed back up her thighs and I watched as she rubbed her legs together, searching for friction. Her panties were soaked with her arousal and her body was beginning to flush under my heated gaze.

"You are so beautiful," I whispered. I had to reclaim her lips, teasing and nibbling until she tugged on my hair pulling her closer. She took control of the kiss, sucking on my lower lip, tasting and teasing. My hand had wandered to the edge of her panties and slowly edged my way down to her pussy.

When I finally cupped it we both moaned at the sensation. For me it was so wet and slippery. I could feel her juices as they trickled out of her and onto my hand. Bella was arching into my hand, seeking the needed friction she craved. I longed to see her fall apart again, I needed to see it.

Tentatively I stroked the outside of her pussy, feeling how soft and smooth it felt. As I grew more confident that I could do this for her, I added more pressure and teased her clit with my thumb. Her groans were spurring me on, my guide that I was making her feel so good. Gently I inserted one lone finger into her slick heat.

"Yes, Edward...more…feels so good." Her breathy pants were all the reward I needed. I wanted to taste her but my control wasn't stable enough for that. As it was I was feeling overwhelmed by all the feelings and sensations right now. I knew I couldn't add to it.

With slow and steady thrusts of my finger I watched as Bella got lost in the feeling of my finger in her. To see her aroused and needy was more than I thought I could handle. There was the way she would bite her lip when I did something that felt good, or how her brow would pucker when it became too much. Her mouth would open in a perfect little O as she sighed and panted.

"More…I need more…harder…please!" Her frantic pleas spurred me on. Slowly I added another finger and heard her hiss in pleasure. I increased my thrusting, feeling her tight pussy as it sucked my fingers in tight. I could feel the light fluttering, so I knew her orgasm was coming. I increased pressure on her clit, rubbing and flicking it and the pulsing of her pussy increased.

Her panting grew louder and she tugged on my hair and on my arm trying to get me closer to her. "So close, please…I need to cum…" Her head thrashed from side to side. She looked breathtaking. Wanting to watch as she fell apart I curled my fingers inside and pumped furiously. No words fell from her lips, just incoherent sounds.

Faster and harder I went constantly circling and flicking her clit, her juices were pouring out of her and her pussy was clenching my fingers so tight. A few more pumps and she let out a keening cry and she came. Juices gushed out and her entire body flushed pink. Her breaths were labored and her mouth was open in a silent scream.

I continued to pump my fingers, this time slower and gentler, helping her ride out the last few waves of her orgasm. When the last shudder left her body and she stated her clit was sensitive I pulled my fingers out of her. Curiously I licked them clean and groaned at her taste. It was fucking exquisite.

I kissed her as she opened her warm brown eyes, there was such a relaxed sense of peace around her. I knew part of it was the release I gave her, but I knew that she was more than fine with the choice she made. She was content with it. Wanting to feel her close I laid next to her, and cuddled up close, holding her tight to me.

"I love you, Bella, so much. Thank you for doing all this for me, for the choice you made, for the ring. Thanks for being you."

"It was my pleasure. Speaking of which." She glanced at my rather obvious erection and made a move towards it. I gently pulled her hands towards my chest. I knew there was no way I could deal with her hands any lower than my stomach. I was too wired, I was bordering on sensory overloaded.

"Not tonight, baby." I hated the look of rejection on her face. Not tonight, this was a time to be happy, to celebrate. "I'm just feeling a bit too much and I am worried that the fragile hold I have on my control would crumble. I don't want to jeopardize our bond. It's too important to me, to us."

Her eyes softened and I knew she understood. "It's okay. I am sure there will be plenty of opportunity for it later." She winked at me and I couldn't help but laugh.

It was getting late and I had no clue if she had to go home or if she could stay. "It's late. Can you stay?" I gave her my best dazzling smile in the hopes I could sway her to spend the night.

She laughed at my attempt at coercing her. "You can tone down the dazzle factor. I was planning on spending the night." She kissed my nose and sat up. "We should clean up here before heading upstairs." Then she let out the most adorable yawn.

"Why don't you get ready for bed and I'll clean up here. It's the least I can do. Plus I can do it faster by myself." There was an odd gleam in her eyes and then she turned the coyest smile my way.

"Let's see how fast you can do it." She threw my shirt over her and stood up. "I'll watch from over here. Show me what you got." She winked and went to sit on a couch that had been pushed up against the wall.

The sight of her in my shirt was almost enough to make what little willpower I possessed fade away, leaving me with an overwhelming amount of lust and desire. Shaking my head, I focused on the little challenge she threw my way. I knew she wouldn't be able to see much as I moved; it would be a big blur to her. However, she did issue the challenge and I wasn't about to back down.

"You ready to be dazzled?" This time it was me who winked at her. She nodded excitedly and I took off. Within seconds I had the fire doused and the pillows back on the couches. The sofas were returned to their normal spots as well. I heard Bella squeak as she was moved along with the sofa. Seconds later I had all the candles blown out and organized neatly on the kitchen table. They would be put away once the wax had cooled and hardened. Feeling the need to show off once again, I scooped Bella up and flashed up the stairs. The sound of her giggle made me smile.

About ninety seconds later, everything was put away and Bella was up in my room. I stopped suddenly in front of her. "So, was that fast enough?"

"Yes, very. Now I am a bit dizzy." I ruffled her hair and shooed her towards the bathroom to get ready for bed. I hastily changed out of my clothes and into flannel bottoms and t-shirt. A few seconds later she emerged in sleep pants and a tank top. I pulled the covers back and waited till she was settled before I joined her as well.

"Feeling better," I finally asked when we were all settled.

"Yes. That was amazing seeing you move that fast. Well, really all I saw was a blur, but still it was cool to see. Will I be able to move that fast?" I looked in her eyes and all I saw was curiosity. There was no fear, no tension. Just curiosity.

"Yea, you will. You may even be faster than me. We will have to wait and see." I didn't hide the excitement in my voice. I couldn't wait till she was a vampire and I was actually looking forward to it. She snuggled closer and let lose another yawn. It was late and I knew my family would want to know what happened that they had to be out for the night. I knew they would be excited, well, most will.

"Time to sleep. It's been a long day and we will have a house full of family dying of curiosity." She let out a low chuckle and I wasn't sure what she found funny.

After a few silent moments I wondered if she fallen asleep, when she broke the silence with a question. "Edward, can I ask you something?" The tone in her voice worried me. It was meek and timid, even a bit apprehensive. Instantly I was concerned and worried.

"Of course you can." Outwardly I kept my voice calm and steady, inside I was a mess.

"When it's time, will you pretend to die with me?" The words were barely whispered, but they rang loud as church bells in my mind.

"Can I ask why?" I wanted to better understand the motivation behind the request.

"Two reasons. One, It feels wrong for you to have to pretend to grieve for me. I am not sure why, but it does. Secondly, I want Charlie to have the knowledge that I was with the one person I loved most- you."

I held her close, her words showing me how deep her love and concern were for those she cared about the most. So I answered her without any hesitation, "Of course I will." I felt the tension leave her body and she relaxed even more. I began to stroke her hair, lulling her asleep. As her breathing finally evened out and she started to snore lightly, I made her a promise. I was going to make her mine in every way possible and I knew the perfect way to do it.

**A/N: I know...there never was any doubt what she was going to pick! Did ya like? Tell me your thoughts good, bad, ugly or pretty... I want to hear them all!**


	24. Ch 23

**A/N: Sooo sorry this was late in getting out. I lost my flash drive that hold ALL my stories and I hadn't backed it up. Yea I know.. baaaddd Witchy. Luckily it was found, but it needed to be mailed to me. It wasn't damaged too much and now everything is backed up! **

**I was to give all my readers a huge thnaks for all the love, reviews, alerts and faves.. you guys really liked the last chapter! There have been some awesome anon reviewers and some where I cant PM.. your reviews are inspiring.. THANK YOU!**

**One last note... if anyone is interested in drawing up Edward's ring or making one... I was thinking of holding a little contest. Submit your pictures to me and I'll narrow down my faves and let you guys vote on them. So PM me if you are interested!**

**Much love and thanks to CullensTwiMistress for this chapter...Enjoy.**

**I don't own Twilight, but if I did I would be able to find a cure for my dog's nasty smelling farts...**

Chapter 23

As she slept all sorts of questions came to mind, ones that I never got around to asking. When did she want to be turned? What did she want Charlie to be told? Were there things she wanted to do as a human before being changed? Did she have any preference to where we did the change? Those were just the beginning. Once she woke, we would talk some more.

My eye caught the ring she gave me and I couldn't help but smile. This whole night was one giant surprise. Once again, she amazed me with her kindness and generosity. She has given me one of the greatest gifts she could ever give me and I wasn't sure if I could ever thank her enough. Even now, as I could feel the token of her commitment to me, I had a hard time believing she wanted an eternity with me. I knew I would spend each day showing her how much I loved her.

I couldn't wait to share the news with my family. I knew they will be thrilled to have Bella be a part of the family. All except Rosalie. I wasn't sure what to make of her and her issue with Bella. I thought at first it was that she was jealous that I preferred Bella to her. But she had long since dealt with the idea that I didn't find her attractive at all.

When Esme showed me the confrontation that she had with Bella, Rose had mentioned that she didn't want another monster created. Did she really think that about herself, about all of us? Granted, we have a very primal, animalistic nature. But we have all worked hard to overcome that side, to be more than the vicious creatures we have the potential to be. She also insinuated that night that Bella was only in it for the immortality and good looks, but Bella quickly shot that down. So what was Rose's problem? Somehow I knew we would know soon enough.

I knew that we would need the family to help us plan the change. I knew that Alice and Emmett both wanted to be there. I would need Carlisle there to make sure that I didn't accidentally kill her. Plus, I knew I would need his support and reassurance that things were going smoothly. He had the most experience out of everyone. Esme and Jasper would go wherever their mates went, which left Rose to decide if she would join us or not. I ran my hands through my hair, I hated that Rose's negativity was weighing so heavily on me. I wanted to enjoy this moment.

Feeling the need to clear my head, I decided to hunt before Bella woke. Our activities last night stretched the boundaries of my control. A nice hunt would help me feel strong and in control. Hating that I was leaving Bella alone, I wrote her a note to explain that I just went hunting and to call me if she woke. I placed it on the pillow where I usually lay and got dressed to hunt.

I placed my phone on vibrate in case she called and took off into the woods. I headed northeast to find some bigger game; I had hunted the deer nearby too many times, so I needed to branch out. Several hundred miles from home I found several elk and one mountain lion. On the way back there was an injured wolf, trapped in a steel trap. Unwilling to let the poor animal suffer, I snapped his neck and drained him. I buried the body and the trap.

Feeling quite full and sated I headed home and back to Bella. My phone never buzzed so I hoped that meant she never woke up. I used the time running to just think. To imagine what my life will be like in ten, twenty, even thirty years from now with Bella by my side. I imagined her first hunt, how fun it will be when we can run together, even what she will look like. Part of me wondered if she would possess any special abilities. I was excited at the possibilities that stretched before us.

When I returned home, something felt off. A quick scan told me that my family had not returned home. I heard Bella's heart, so I knew she was fine. But still, something was different. As quietly as I could I made my way to my room. When I opened the door, I saw that Bella was still asleep. My note lay undisturbed on the pillow. It was when I finally stood next to the bed that I figured out what was different. It was Bella, or more specifically, her scent. It was different.

I crouched down next her and inhaled deeply. She still smelled the same on one level, but then there was a difference in the potency, the intensity of her scent. I skimmed my nose up and down her body, trying to detect more thoroughly what had changed. I noticed that there were areas that held no scent. It was as if the scent had 'died' in that spot. There appeared to be no rhyme or reason to the dead spots.

There was on one her left foot and most of her right thigh. The area from the top of her breasts to her collar bone was not as fragrant and her entire left arm was devoid of any smell. It was absolutely bizarre, but thrilling. Her scent was changing. I had thought she would smell different, like go from freesia to honey or something like that. But in reality it was like her body was being erased of its scent. Carlisle was going to have a field day with this.

Fascinated, I sank down on the floor by the bed and watched her sleep. Every time a new body part was presented to me I sniffed her. I felt like part dog and part pervert in those moments. But I knew without a doubt that Carlisle was going to want to know where her scent was different, so I might as well figure it out now. I found that most of her back was scent free as well as the back of both her knees. I shook my head; this was just so fucking weird.

To help pass the time, I tried to figure out how much longer it would be before her entire scent was gone. Carlisle stated the changed started when Bella marked me which was about a month ago. By my rough estimate, close to half of Bella's scent was gone, so maybe another month or so. This would put us around Christmas break, perfect. I would have to consult with Carlisle and maybe even Alice to see if they agreed.

A buzz from my phone interrupted my calculations. It was from Alice.

_The whole family should be home by nine.-A_

_Thanks, we will see you then.-E_

I returned to watching Bella when I began to feel this churning in my chest. It wasn't like anything I had ever felt. There was a feeling of elation, but then one of suffocating. I could feel this building pressure and an urge to be somewhere, with someone. I could feel a small sliver of panic creeping closer. Just then Bella mumbled my name and my head snapped to her. Bella. I need Bella.

But this wasn't just a need; it was stronger, more urgent. It was like if I didn't have her I would shatter. If I had a heart, I knew it would be pounding furiously. I could almost feel it, for there was such heaviness in my chest, it was crushing me.

I scooted closer to her on the floor. I laid my head as close as I could on the bed without disturbing her. Still it wasn't close enough. I knew the urge wasn't to make love to her, but a need to be close to her, to almost be wrapped up in her. When sitting on the floor didn't ease the feeling, I lightly touched her covered arm. The unease lessened, but only fractionally.

I began to panic. What did I need to do make this fear subside? I was feeling shaky and almost nauseous. I tried to fight it, but the longer I just sat there with my hand on her body, the less it helped. The small bit of relief I had initially felt at touching her was slowing starting to subside. I had to be closer. Although I loathed waking her up, I had to get on the bed with her. With much care, I slipped on the bed over the covers and snuggled as close as I dare. But I knew it wouldn't be enough, there was such panic floating in my head, it was getting so hard to think.

Fuck, I didn't want to wake her up. But the anger I felt towards me melted away only to be replaced with a fierce need for Bella, for my mate. In a flash I was off the bed and I took off my hunting clothes, put on flannel pants and a plain t-shirt. I opened up the covers and slid in close to Bella. As I wrapped my arms around her warmth, the panic eased away. The tightness in my chest abated and I could breathe without struggling.

It was as if her heat was thawing the fear and anxiety that had gripped me. I settled next to her and let her slow rhythmic breathing and heart lull me to a relaxed state of being. It was the only thing I could focus on. I could feel the planes of her body as they lined up with mine. For the first time, I wasn't hard being this close to her. It was something else, safe. Being with her felt like safety, like home. Wanting to relish the feeling, I closed my eyes and the rest of the world drifted away.

Hours later I felt the change of Bella's breathing, she was beginning to wake up. I experimentally pulled away from her and when the anxiety didn't return, I placed more space between us. Again, there was no crushing weight, no struggling to breathe, things were normal. Hmm, what the fuck happened then? Was this related to the connection? I would have to talk to Carlisle about this for sure.

"Why do you have such a puzzled look on your face?" A sleepy voice asked me. I looked down at Bella and smiled.

I noticed the time from the clock on the bedside table; my family would be home soon. "I'll explain it to you after you shower. I'll make you breakfast. Everyone is supposed to be back by nine."

She winkled her nose as she stretched and I bent down to capture a quick kiss. Our lips brushed softly and then I took her lower lip in between mine and suckled. A low hum of appreciation emanated from Bella. "I'd rather stay here in bed with you." She gave me a shy smile.

"Me too, but there is a lot we need to talk about, so rain check?" Her face brightened considerably, I was certain she knew what I was hinting at, our mating. Chances are it would be rare if we left the bed. I had to keep my thoughts from running off that tangent and focus on what we needed to do now.

"Rain check," she whispered and then exited into the bathroom. Minutes later I heard the water going and I had to run from the room before I joined her in the shower. Once downstairs, it was easier to be level headed and not focus on the wet girl upstairs. I rummaged through the kitchen and came up with enough fixings to make an omelet. I cut up some strawberries and placed them in a small bowl on the table. To the omelet I added cheese, mushrooms, ham and green peppers. I was sliding it onto a plate as I heard Bella coming down the stairs.

"Something smells absolutely delicious." She stopped just short of the table when she saw the small feast I had assembled for her. "You are amazing," she exclaimed while shaking her head.

"Eat and we can talk." With that she hurried to her seat and dug in. I watched her for a few bites, to make sure it was satisfactory. Her soft sighs and hums told me she liked it. I sat in the chair next to her. Suddenly I was unsure where how to begin. There really was too much for us to discuss. Since she was eating I figured I should do most of the talking.

She must have seen me thinking intently, for her hand reached out and smoothed my wrinkled brow. "What's going on in there? What were you thinking so hard about?" I removed her had from my face and kissed it before answering her.

"A few interesting developments happened last night while you were sleeping." I kept my tone calm as to not alarm her.

"Of course, all the cool stuff happens when the human is sleeping." The cute smile she sported told me she had no regrets on her decision at all and that helped me immensely. "So, what happened?"

"Well, your scent is changing, finally."

Her hand stopped in midair as she turned towards me, her eyes wide. "Really," she whispered.

I nodded my head, watching her reaction. "I realized it last night." I went on to explain what I had figured out when I came back from hunting. I told her how her scent seems to be disappearing and how different places on her body smell different.

I laughed when she bent down to sniff herself. "So, it's not like I am starting to stink?"

"No, love, just the opposite."

I then went on to tell her about the mild panic attack I had and the overwhelming urge I had to be near her, to have her so very close to me. Her face scrunched in concern when she heard that.

"By the time you were starting to wake, I was feeling better. I was able to pull away and feel…normal I guess is the only word I can think to use. Have you ever felt that way?" I watched as she thought before she finally answered.

"Not that I can think of, at least nothing that sounded anything like what you described. Do you think its part of the connection?"

"I wondered the same thing. I have a feeling it is, but we will have to discuss it with Carlisle." Seeing that she had finished her breakfast; I gathered up her dishes and took them to the sink. "Now that you're done, I have a few questions for you."

"Okay, shoot." She had turned her chair towards me as I washed her dishes.

"I had a few questions about your change. I wondered how much you had planned out or thought about."

I heard her take a deep breath, "Honestly, I had thought much beyond choosing to become a vampire. Once I made that up, I jumped right into figuring out how I was going to tell you. I think part of me figured you would be able to help me with the rest of it." She sounded concerned, maybe even a bit worried.

"Are you having second thoughts? Because if you are, it's ok."

"No, it's not that. I'm just worried that it will be too much to deal with and you guys will change your mind about having me."

I couldn't let her think that, not for one bit. I went to her and wrapped her up in my arms. For a few seconds I just held her, letting her feel that I would never be able to give up on her, never change my mind about having her in my life.

"Never, love, never. You're stuck with me for all eternity. As for my family, we can ditch them for a few decades, how does that sound?" She giggled like I knew she would. "Are you okay to talk about this?"

"Yea, I am fine." She pulled me in for a soft chaste kiss and then buried herself into my chest.

"Good, because the family is on their way." Of course they had to be home a little early. Some all knowing pixie we had. "You ready for them?" She nodded her head as she pulled away. Wanting to keep her close, I twined our hands together and we went to greet them in the living room.

Within a few minutes, Alice and Jasper came breezing in. Alice went straight for Bella, so Jasper came to me to say hello. He gave a small smile and nod in her direction and then up to the room he shared with Alice. Rose ghosted by with no greeting what so ever. But Emmett stopped long enough to swoop up Bella and give her a hug. Hearing her laugh as Emmett spun her around made me smile. I had a feeling that those two were going to get along well as vampires.

Minutes later, I heard Carlisle's car drive up and my parents exit the vehicle. They were both smiles when they came into the house and saw me and Bella happy and carefree. Esme went to say her hellos to Bella and I went to talk to Carlisle.

"Did you appreciate your night alone with Bella?" From his thoughts he had no idea what was happening, only that Alice told them we needed a night to ourselves. My thumb absentmindedly rubbed the ring on my right hand.

"Yea, it was a great night. In fact, we were hoping we could talk to you. Well, I think we need to talk to the whole family, if that is alright. We have some things to discuss." Although no one really _had _to be with us when she underwent the change, I knew there were several that would _want _to be there. Plus, I would need Carlisle, Alice's and I guess even Jasper's expertise.

"When did you want to do this?" I watched as through his eyes he watched his wife and a few of his children interact with Bella. _This feels complete, like everything is as it should be. _That was a surprising thought, but I could see how it made sense. Everyone in the family is mated up.

"I guess now is as good as any time," I responded. He nodded and went to gather the rest of the family. I walked over to where Alice and Bella were talking.

"We are going to talk to the family now, love. I hope that is fine with you."

"Sure, fine by me." She snuggled up next to me and I turned an expectant head at Alice. I was hoping she would see my question before I asked it.

_Bring up the whole Bella being changed last. I have a feeling if you make that the first topic, you will never get to the rest. _

I had kinda of figured that. Bella's change is a sensitive topic around here. I nodded to her and together we went into the dining room. I leaned close and whispered in her ear, "We will leave last night till last." I hoped she would understand what I was trying to tell her. She glanced up at me for a few moments. Her eyes went wide with understanding and then nodded yes.

Carlisle was already seated at the head of the table with Esme on his right when we walked in. I sat Bella on his left and me right next to her. Alice sat next to me. Rose came in and sat down across from Alice, Jasper at the foot of the table and Emmett between Esme and Rose. I watched as he reached for her hand and squeezed tightly. She never once looked at him, or anyone else. This was not boding well.

Once everyone was seated, Carlisle nodded to me and Bella to begin. Knowing that Bella would be terrified of talking, I faced everyone and began to speak. Bella's hand squeezed my leg under the table in a silent thank you.

"We have a few things we would like to talk about with you all. The first is some good news, early this morning I realized that Bella's scent had started to change." With this the table was a buzz in noise.

"That is great!" was Esme's ecstatic reply. Alice was beaming, having seen this already. Both of my brothers were all smiles.

"It's about time. But she doesn't smell any different to me." Emmett scratched his head at that and looked at Carlisle.

When I looked at him, he was grinning from ear to ear. "Please tell me what has changed." Once again I went through how different parts of her body appeared to no longer hold any scent and how there was no pattern to those areas.

"I hardly feel the burn when I smell those parts. I was wondering if this was to make the bonding go easier. If I didn't feel the burn there would be less chance I would hurt her."

Carlisle nodded enthusiastically at me, "I would have to agree with you. It seems the perfect way to counteract the thirst for her blood. Alice, now that it has started, can you see when her scent may completely change?"

I glanced at Alice who had her eyes shut in fierce concentration. I was hoping that my calculations, which I saw Carlisle also doing in his head, would be correct.

"I had seen before that it would happen when there was snow on the ground. Now, I can see things a bit clearer. I still see the snow, and now it's looking closer to Christmas time. I can't get a read on the exact date."

Both Bella and I were smiling. It would provide the perfect opportunity for us to be alone and not have to come up with a reason for us to be missing. Everyone appeared to be on the same page. However, Esme seemed even more excited about the prospect of this. I tried to get a read on why, but all I got was a glimpse of a white room before she began reciting all the flowers around the house by their Latin names.

"That would be an ideal time for things to happen." Carlisle looked directly at Bella his mind busy making plans. "I was thinking that we could tell your father that we are inviting you to come with us for a vacation around that time. That would then free you to be with Edward and not have to worry about being at home."

Bella blushed at that, "Thanks, Carlisle. That sounds like a good idea. Just let me know what I need to tell Charlie." I squeezed her hand to remind her we were in this together.

He then looked at Alice, "Can you keep an eye on things and when you can nail down more specific details, let us know." Alice was already nodding yes before he finished his request.

"Is there anything else we need to do on this part?" When nothing else was said and he then turned to us so we could continue on.

"Last night, I had what you may call a panic attack, but that wasn't what it was. It was more like an all consuming need to be next to Bella. I only really felt better when I was holding her, having physical contact." Carlisle looked intrigued at this but gestured for me to finish.

So I went into detail about how I felt, the pressure in my chest, feeling shaky, how I felt almost nauseous. I explained how I tried to just be near her and when that didn't help, how I touched her and that it helped for a small bit. I went on to detail the need to be so very close to hear that it was overwhelming and how only skin to skin seemed to ease the feelings and few hours later I was able to pull away from her without having that crushing feeling.

Everyone was listening to me with rapt attention. They were as fascinated with all that was happening between Bella and me, especially if it had to do with the connection. When I was done, Carlisle questioned Bella.

"Have you ever experienced anything like this?" His eyes were inquisitive and excited. He was ever the consummate researcher.

She shook her head, "No, not that I am aware of. Do you have any idea what this was?" I could hear the concern in her voice. She hated the idea that the connection would cause extra stress for me. Her concern was misplaced, but it felt nice just to have someone to be concerned for me.

We waited for Carlisle to answer her question. "Yes, I have an idea." He now had my full attention, because I have to admit I wasn't too keen on experiencing that again, it was terrifying to have no control of my emotions.

"I finally spoke to Eleazar last night. I had asked him to get in touch with a Volturi historian." Seeing Bella's puzzled expression he explained further. "You know about the Volturi and how they are like the ruling body of vampires, they enforce our laws. " Bella nodded. "Well, they also keep our history. They record the events and information that has to do with vampires. Eleazar at one time lived with them, like I did. He used some of his influence to see if there was more information regarding a mating connection between a vampire and a human."

Bella's hand gripped me tightly and I could feel some tension from her, I had no reason why.

_Would you like me to calm her down, Edward? _

I shook my head no; I was hoping that whatever Carlisle was about to say would ease her tension. I did nod thanks in Jasper's direction in thanks. Instead I rubbed my thumb on her hand soothingly.

"Did he find anything else?" she asked rather timidly.

"Yes, and it relates to what Edward experienced. He called them 'mate moments'. They are periods of intense emotional overload. They can range from the need for physical touch, the urge to protect, or the need for intimate contact. They usually do not last long, a few hours at the most. You may both experience them, although Edwards will be more intense than yours, Bella."

We both frowned at that which I found funny. I cupped her face. "Why the long face?"

She smiled at me, "I could say the same. I just hate the idea that you go through more things than me with this connection. It seems unequal." Everyone chuckled at that and she blushed.

"If it makes you feel better I was thinking that I wasn't thrilled to feel that out of control again." She laughed and melted into my side.

"Well how about some good news for the both of you? Eleazar stated that once the mating is complete you shouldn't experience them. He is not completely sure about it as the information regarding them is sketchy. He is looking forward to the information that I can provide."

Everyone laughed at his eager tone. We had all been one of his research subjects a time or two. I had to bite back a laugh as Emmett was remembering the time he volunteered to have his semen tested for possible fertility. He was very eager to give a sample. Once Carlisle had determined that our semen contained no sperm and Emmett's 'deposits' were no longer needed, Em was a bit bummed.

"What should we do if we experience another one of these mate moments?" Bella asked. I knew she needed to understand how she was to act if I was struck by one again.

"Do your best to meet the need of the moment. Follow the urge or whatever your instinct is telling you to do. It's not beneficial to ignore them." I rubbed my chest absent mindedly, remembering the crushing feeling in my chest.

Bella nodded her head. "It sounds simple enough. I hope."

There was a lull in the conversation. A slight tension filled the air as there was one remaining topic to cover. I was loathed to bring it up; Rose seemed to be in fine form. While she never said anything offensive, she also didn't censor her thoughts. She doesn't want to hear about our connection and would rather be anywhere else but where she is currently. I agreed with her on that point, she could go somewhere else for all I cared.

_Better get it over with. The longer we sit here the more peeved Rose is gonna get her. But I have a feeling there are going to be some fireworks. _

I didn't want to hear that, but she was right. I held Bella close, the need to protect her from any insults Rosalie may throw. As if she knew what we had to do, she ran her finger on my ring. I could almost hear her whisper the words engraved there; eternally yours. That she would be, I would make sure of it.

Wanting to celebrate her choice instead of mourn it, I choose to be excited about it. Rose could fuck off if she didn't like it. I was done catering to her. I had someone more important to think about, and who took precedent in my life.

I unnecessarily cleared my throat. I placed my hand with the ring on the table and announced, "Last night Bella asked me to change her."

**A/N: Blame CullensTwiMistress for ending it there...she thought it would be a good mini cliffie... hehe**

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	25. Ch 24

**A/N: Ok.. here it is.. the chapter you have all been waiting for. Grab your kevlar or hunker down behind bulletproof glass cuz the fireworks are gonna fly!**

**Once again, I still don't own Twilight, I am just pretending to! Longer A/N at the bottom!**

Chapter 24

All at once, there were congratulations and smiles. You could almost sense the excitement in the air. Esme rushed to Bella to give her a hug. "Welcome, my daughter." She kissed her gently on the forehead. I watched as Bella melted into Esme's embrace. She has never had a real mother figure in her life; I can see Esme filling that role nicely for her.

Alice bounced with joy and Jasper was just happy that we are happy. _It will be nice to have her around, Edward. She will make a fine little sister. _I nodded to let him know I appreciated his kind words.

Emmett wanted to be happy, but knew it would set off Rose. _I can't wait, Edward. She will be a kick ass newborn. _I hold back a laugh as he imagines her wrestling a bear. Somehow, I couldon't see Bella as the bear type of vampire.

Carlisle reached for Bella's hand and gave her an affectionate squeeze. "I am sure that it wasn't an easy choice for you, Bella." Rosalie let out a soft snort at that. Bella visibly tensed as did everyone else.

After a few seconds, her shoulders dropped and she replied to Carlisle."Yes, but it seemed to be the best choice for me and Edward." She gave me a beaming smile.

Again, Rose snorted and let out a mumbled, "Fucking idiot." It was loud enough that even Bella could hear. I watched as Bella curled her hands into fists in her lap, her face set into a grime line.

I wanted to throttle Rose. Her thoughts were swirling, angry and livid. She was barely hanging onto any semblance of control. I knew she was going to blow. My problem was that I had no way to get Bella away from her before it happened. I knew if I did, it wouldn't help. Her anger was directed at Bella and one way or another it was going to come out.

Trying to help, Carlisle continued on. "Have you given any thought to when you would like this take place?"

"Not much," she replied softly. "Edward and I hadn't talked much about it. I only got as far as making the choice. I hoped that you guys would be willing to help with the logistics of it all." Her hand gripped mine tightly. I could almost taste the fear and tension rolling off her.

_Oh, shit, Edward! _Alice's warning came seconds before Rose exploded.

"Our help?" She pushed away from the table, standing her entire body vibrated with unrestrained fury. "You want our fucking help in ending your life and lying to your father? You want our help in pretending to cry and mourn your loss? That's just classic." Rosalie's eyes were flashing at Bella and her mind was a chaotic swirl of anger and pain.

"Rosalie-" began Esme, but Bella silenced her with a raised hand.

"What the fuck is your problem with _my choice_ Rosalie?" Her hand slammed on the table top. Everyone jumped at the outburst coming from Bella. "I don't remember asking for or needing your opinion." Bella's eyes were blazing with anger. Her entire body was trembling with the fierce emotions she was struggling to control.

Rosalie let out an eerie laugh; a slow calculating smile began to form. "The minute you _decided _that living your life as one of us, gave me more than enough reason to give you my opinion. When you decided to throw away your life, to carelessly toss away the options your life has to settle for a life with none- that's when my opinion mattered." Her breathing was coming out in tiny pants; she was charged up and itching for a fight.

The entire room froze. No one knew what to do or say. Alice was practically vibrating with giddiness. To her, this was a perfectly acceptable thing to be happening. She saw it as Rosalie finally getting what she was due. All I saw was danger and my need to protect Bella was in full swing.

Jasper was calculating the danger not only to Alice, but to Bella. His concern for my mate was heartwarming and meant so much to me. My parents were very worried about Bella. While they understood where Rose was coming from, they felt there was a better way to discuss this. What they didn't know was that this has been simmering for weeks now, ever since she knew I gave Bella a choice.

I silently begged Bella to step away, that nothing useful would come from this. We all knew Rose's position on this, there was no budging her. But when I saw the indignation flash in Bella's eyes, I knew my silent pleas were moot. To have her choice called into question, when I know she agonized over it, Bella couldn't let that go.

"You know nothing about me and how I struggled over this choice." She seethed at Rosalie. "How dare you question me about it." The room was silent, locked in watching this show down happen, unable to do anything to stop it. Even if we could, we all knew it was just going to happen at another time.

"I'll question any idiotic choice you make. You are a fucking child. You have no idea what you are giving up." Rose was in fine form, her hands were clenching and releasing sporadically. She was pacing in a small area of the dining room. "It's ridiculous to think that a life of endlessly repeating high school and college to be better than a _real _life of growing up, getting married, raising children, and having a career. You are giving up everything for nothing!"

I wasn't sure if anyone else noticed the tiny little flinch that Emmett gave off when she mentioned children. That was the one sore spot, the pink elephant that always resided in their relationship. It was times like these that made me pity him.

"Idiotic?" Bella's voice was shrill and she forcible pushed away from the table to stand. I automatically stood up next to her. Her fists were clenching and releasing along her sides, she was glaring at Rosalie. "Then why don't you explain something to the lowly human, Rosalie. Because right now, I don't get it, I honestly don't." She was shaking her head from side to side, like she was trying to figure out something complex.

"Explain to me that if you despise this life so much, if you hate what was done to you, why are you still here?" Beside me Alice was excited. Her mind was full of possible outcomes to this show down. She was cycling through them so rapidly, it was hard me to process them all. But it wasn't the visions that I honed in on; it was what she was thinking. She was cheering Bella on.

Bella paused, looking intently at Rosalie, who obviously didn't know what she meant and didn't want to ask. Sensing she may get no response, Bella forged on." Because it would seem to me, that as smart as vampires are, that if you really hated this life so fucking much, the solution would be easy, that even _you _would've thought of it." There was no doubt that Bella was insinuating that Rose's intellect was being called into question.

"I have no fucking idea what you're babbling about," spat Rose.

A cold smile stretched across Bella's face and it chilled me. "It's quite simple really," her voice was low and menacing, "make yourself a fucking fire and jump into it. Or, if you don't have the _gut_s for that, find some nomadic vampire, pick a fight, don't try so hard and let them destroy you." She let that suggestion just hang there. All of us too shocked that she said it, all except Alice.

I knew that Bella had no idea how strong, how intense a vampire's sense of self preservation was. I doubt that even a depressed vampire could commit suicide by jumping into a fire. But I understood the point that Bella was attempting to make and I admit it was a damn good one.

"But, obviously your still here, maybe you're not that bright after all?" The tone in her voice was so matter of fact; it was eerie and kind of a turn on.

I liked this feisty Bella.

"So, why are you still here making everyone miserable? Is it because you can't find a way to be happy? Is that why you are so against Edward and me? Is it because as long as he was unhappy, there was someone who had it worse than you? But now that he has a chance to be happy, you're fighting tooth and nail against it. Because you'll be the unhappy one, you'll be the one people pity, not him."

Bella grew more impassioned the longer she spoke, her body betraying the calm she was trying to project. Her eyes were full of anger and her body shook with the fury she was trying to tamp down. The way she defended herself made me proud of her, the way she refused to take Rose's shit made me love her all that much more.

Rose stood with such a contemptuous look on her face, it would scare most people, but Bella was beyond any self preservation. I tried to listen in to Rose's thoughts, she was shocked that Bella was standing up to her. Even more surprising was that Rose felt Bella was too close to the truth, that she _had _thought those things in the beginning.

"I don't need to explain my life to you." Rose snarled the last word, trying to gain the upper hand once more.

But Bella just laughed at her attempt to intimidate which only angered Rosalie even more. By now, Esme and Carlisle had moved from their seats and moved into positions to intercept Rose if things got violent. Even Jasper had taken up a defensive position that guarded Alice and Bella.

"Fine, don't explain anything to me, I could care less." Bella gave a flippant wave of her hand. "But what I do care about is everyone else in this room. I care about the fact that they have tried to love you, give you a family and even help you find your way in this new life. But more than all that, I care about the fact that you are hurting the man you supposedly love and you don't even notice his pain."

There was an audible gasp in the room. "Bella," I implored. Bringing in ones mates is a dangerous thing to do. I watched as Rose's eyes narrowed into tiny slits as she processed Bella's words. I could see the need for Rose to protect what is hers. So concerned about Rose's reaction Jasper stood closer to Bella.

This did not go unnoticed by Rose who growled at Jasper. He let loose a low hiss as a warning. I was surprised that he hadn't stepped in to temper Rose's anger. I was sure that he knew she needed to let this go, she has been simmering with all of this negativity for far too long. I knew without a doubt that if Rose became a danger, Jasper wouldn't hesitate to take action.

"You leave Emmett the fuck out of this," she hissed. Her body was shaking with anger, I watched as she fought the urge to crouch, the instinct to take down a threat. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Emmett's defeated posture. His head was down and he was begging Bella to let it drop.

I stifled a gasp when I realized that Bella's words had cut Em deep, not because she said them, but because at times, he felt they were true and he didn't want Rose to know. He loved her so much; he would never let her see how much he hurt. I never saw it in the decades I lived with him. Yet Bella saw it after months of knowing him.

"Oh, come on. You brought him into all this." Bella gestured wide to encompass the whole family. "You brought him to Carlisle and begged him to change Emmett. Why did you do that if you hated this life? Why is that just perfectly fine for you to choose, but it's not okay for me to choose my mate! At least I know that Edward is mine." She thumped her chest. "But you," she pointed an accusatory finger at Rose, "you had no clue if he would accept you. So tell me why the fuck was it okay for _you_!"

Bella shouted the last word. She was riled up and furious. Her chest was heaving and her face was flushed.

"Maybe we need to take a step back and calm down," Carlisle broke in. But Rose and Bella never wavered from their staring contest. "We won't accomplish anything by yelling. We understand that emotions are running high."

"With all due respect Carlisle, I'd much rather finish this. It was going to happen one way or another and if it is all the same to you, I want to get it over with. Maybe then she will explain why she is a massive hypocrite." Bella never took her eyes off Rose who was staring at Bella with such utter contempt.

Carlisle took a step back but still remained close in case he was needed to run interference.

Bella took a small step towards Rose and I moved with her, I wanted to stay close, I didn't trust Rose to not lunge at Bella if things got any more heated.

"So come on Rose, enlighten us. How can you stand there railing against my choice when you didn't allow him to have the same choice? Hmm?" Bella's foot tapped impatiently waiting for Rose to say something.

We all knew why she did what she did, but Bella didn't. I only shared the bare minimum of Rose's story with Bella. I knew the rest would have to come from Rose if she wanted to tell it. What I am sure of is that only Jasper and I knew that Rose struggled to come to grips of that decision. She knew she was being hypocritical in doing what she did. Emmett reminded her too much of the child of her closest human friend. It was a child she adored and one that made her long for her own. She lucked out that Emmett never held her choice against her.

"I don't have to explain anything to you?" I could hear the tremor in Rose's voice. Her mind was filled with sadness, anger and desperation. Bella was hitting too close for comfort and Rose wass unsure how to deal with it.

Bella snorted, "Isn't that just fucking perfect. You expect me to explain and defend my choices, but the minute yours are called into question, you clam up. Nice double standard you have going there."

I had to admit, Bella had an extremely valid point.

I watched as Bella tapped one lone finger on her chin, I could tell she was thinking very hard about something.

"You know what, that doesn't matter. What is done is done and there is no need to rehash your hypocritical choice. Instead why don't explain how you can live with yourself because your entire relationship with Emmett is one walking contradiction." Once again that scary smile was back on her face. The urge in me to protect Bella grew.

My fingers twitched with the intense desire to pull Bella back and run.

_Don't Edward! She will be fine. This has to be said. It is the only way both of them can get past this. _

I didn't want to trust Alice, but I knew she would never place Bella in any danger. She loved her almost as much as I did. Still, I knew it was never a good idea to goad Rose, that was playing with fire and Rose almost always won.

"You know shit about my relationship with Emmett, Bella. If I were you, I would back the fuck off. You are treading on dangerously thin ice. I would hate for you to get hurt."

A low growl rumbled deep within me at Rose's implied threat. She threw me a withering glare. _Fuck off, Edward. Your human thinks she can mess with me, well, she will see how wrong she is._

The growl grew in loudness and she just sneered at me.

_Please, Bella, just walk away. I am begging you. _Emmett's silent plea broke through and I chanced a glance at him. His head was still down, almost resting in his arms; he was looking at no one. His entire posture looked defeated. But it was his thoughts that surprised me the most. He was hurting, so very much.

Bella actually laughed at Rose's attempts to threaten her, she shook her head as she tried to rein in her laughter. "Oh come on, certainly your impressive vampire brain can see that while Emmett has never held your incredibly selfish decision against you, you are punishing him for something he has no control over." There was a hint of amusement in her voice. As if she really was surprised that Rose was clueless.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I'm not punishing him for anything!" Rose's voice was high and almost screeching in indignation at Bella's assumption.

"Really, Rosalie? It's true, you know. You are so wrapped up in your loathing in being a vampire, still bitter about all that you lost, that you can't see its killing Emmett. How do you think it makes him feel when he knows he can't give you what you want and that he will never be enough for you? Instead of trying to find joy, love and purpose in this life, you are hanging on to everything you have lost." Bella's voice went from anger to pity while she talked, then she turned to Emmett, who still refused to look up.

"Instead of reveling in a man who loves you and finding a way to make a life with _him_, you hold over him the one thing he can't give you. Your bitterness over this _is _punishing him." She took a deep breath; I could see the fight slowly leak out of her.

"This is where I will be a different vampire than you. I will see in Emmett the big brother I never had and will get for eternity. I'll ask him to teach me how to hunt bears and the art of practical jokes, Cullen style. I'll love him for his heart and the way he will always make me smile." She reached over the table and brushed his arm with her fingers.

"You will be enough for me, brother and I am sorry that you are hurting." For a tense few seconds, no one moved, waiting anxiously to see if he would respond. Then slowly he brushed her hand with his. It was all Bella needed, she smiled at him, even though he didn't see. Slowly she pulled her hand away.

Rose looked on bewildered and finally realizing that her mate hasn't spoken, but that small move of his hand spoke volumes. Finally someone acknowledged the pain he was in.

"It isn't true, is it, Em?" she whispered inching closer and closer to him. Still no response. She looked at Jasper and I, knowing we could confirm or deny Bella's accusations. I looked at Jasper who was looking at Emmett.

"He hid it well," was his only response and Rose crumpled back into her seat, shocked that just maybe Bella was right.

When the fight finally left Bella, she sagged and I caught her and pulled her close to me. I could see the unshed tears in her eyes. She hurt because Emmett hurt. I turned her to face me, putting a finger under her chin looking her in the eyes.

"I love you."

"Love you, too. Eternally yours," she whispered, reminding me of her pledge.

"Forever," was my vow back to her.

**A/N: Sooooo what did ya think? Let me know!**

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	26. Ch 25

**A/N: WOW... simply... wow! The reviews I got after last chapter blew me away with the sheer number of them and what you all had to say! I honestly thought I may gone a bit too far with the fight... but you guys proved me wrong! Soo fricking cool! I think everyone was wearing Team Bella shirts after that! SO THANK YOU!**

**As always.. much love to CullensTwiMistress for helping me stay afloat. Love ya lady! A lot have asked about when the matign will happen.. I am hoping you are feeling satisified that it is coming.. in fact.. I think in..ummmm.. 3 chapters? Hmmmmm? :)**

**I wish I owned Twilight, what I do own is a purple toy..man does it make me feel good! (stole that from you Missy! LOL) ENJOY!**

Chapter 25

Her eyes fluttered and I could see her losing the fight to stay upright. All the adrenaline that had coursed through her body as she confronted Rose was spent, leaving her exhausted. Add onto it the mental and emotional strain, she was crashing hard. I knew she would hate it if Rose saw her cry after she had remained so strong in front of her.

_She needs to lie down son, take her upstairs. _Carlisle's doctor mode kicked right in.

I didn't need to be told twice. I scooped her up and flew to my room. Alice was hot on my heels with a…blanket? Not wanting to focus on my sister, I turned my attention back to Bella. A few stray tears had leaked from her tightly squeezed eyes as I placed her on the bed. She let out a shuddering sigh as she relaxed; I crawled up next to her and scooped her into my arms.

Alice breezed into the room, and spread the blanket over us. Then she plugged it in. "Electric blanket, allows you to be close to her while she sleeps. I figured it would help during the bonding." She held up another wrapped in a plastic cover. "I got one for Bella's bed as well in case you ever spend the night."

Alice was amazing. "Thanks," I whispered.

She smiled and then ghosted to Bella's side. I knew she wasn't sleeping, her breathing was still ragged and she was still sniffling. Kneeling close to her, Alice stroked her hair and nuzzled her cheek.

"I am so proud of you, Bella. It will be just fine, trust me." Bella's hand snaked out from under the blanket, reached for the hand on her head and squeezed. No other words needed to be spoken between them, they truly were sisters. Alice kissed her head and quietly left the room.

"Sleep, love. You will feel better, I promise." I knew physically she would, as for the rest of her, I wasn't so sure, but I would be with her every step of the way. I tucked us closer under the already warming blanket and softly crooned her lullaby. Within a matter of a few minutes, she was sound asleep.

About a half an hour after she finally succumbed to sleep, my parents tip toed softly into the room. Esme quickly flittered to her side and knelt close. Her eyes were filled with worry and concern. Lightly she stroked her hair. _You are so very strong and brave, my daughter. _I tried to leave her thoughts as she imagined fulfilling the mothering role that Bella never had. In such a short time, Bella has found her place in my family.

I tuned into Carlisle as he monitored her vitals, seeing that everything was back to normal. _As I am sure you know she may sleep for a few hours. When she wakes make sure she eats and gets some sugar into her._

I nodded my head, all of these instructions I knew, but I found myself calming with Carlisle's advice. Although I held two medical degrees, it's natural to let Carlisle take the role of healer. I trusted him and knew he would make sure there were no lasting physical effects to Bella. When they were both done checking on her they left the room.

I t was amazing to hold her while she slept. The blanket and my cold skin kept her temperature in balance. As if on instinct when one side became too hot or cold, Bella would automatically flip over. The good thing was that the blanket was also warming me, there by lessening the chill in my icy body.

My mind wandered to what I just witnessed down stairs, how fierce and feisty Bella was. But more than that, it was how _right _she had been. She called Rosalie on all her bullshit. And I hated to say it, but she finally made Rosalie see how much her actions have hurt Emmett. He hides it well, but there are times when his thoughts leak out. The wondering if he would ever be enough for her. Even Jasper has felt the pain that Emmett tries so hard to hide. I hoped it would cause Rose to take a good hard look at herself.

Bella's mumbling and moving around brought me back from my thoughts. I ran my hands on her back, trying to soothe her. Bella's face was scrunched up, like she was in pain, her mumblings sounding like cries. I was at a loss on how to help her. I crooned soft words to her, trying to calm her down. When I was unable to calm her down within a few minutes I got a bit worried. She had never been like this when she slept. It was almost as if she was having a nightmare.

When I was at my wits ends, Jasper stood outside my closed door. _Can I help?_

"Yes," I softly replied, willing to try anything to help her sleep more peacefully.

I watched as my brother strode silently to the foot of the bed and gracefully sat on the floor. Through his thoughts I listen as he tries to decipher what Bella is feeling.

_She's upset and worried, maybe about Emmett? She's tired and whatever she is dreaming makes her afraid. Would you like me to help her?_

Again, another soft, "Yes, please."

I watched as he leaned his head against the bed and reached up to touch her leg. He does this to make sure whatever he is projecting goes to Bella and no one else. Since she is in my arms, I can feel her body begin to relax, her face evens out and her breathing becomes deeper and calmer. Within seconds, Jasper has her calm and sleeping soundly.

I send him a wave of gratitude.

_She was pretty unbelievable down there, wasn't she? She amazes me how she saw right through Rose's crap and saw Em's pain. They're leaving, you know?_

This I did not know and I told him so. "Why?" I ask.

_To sort things out. Rose finally saw what Em's been hiding. Plus when Bella left I gave her a taste of how he was feeling. That scared the shit out of her. So, Esme suggested they go and reconnect. Hopefully it will allow her time to really think about how she has been living these last few decades._

If it worked, it had the potential to really be beneficial to them both and I wished them nothing but the best. Deep down, I truly cared about Rose, mainly because she makes Em happy. She is loyal to this family; I know she cares about all of us. But she really was stuck in an endless loop of her pain and all that she lost by becoming a vampire. Maybe she would finally heal. After Bella had been sleeping quietly for a while, Jasper left. But not without a parting thought, it made me smile.

_She's gonna be one hell of a vampire. I can't wait to see it. _

I couldn't agree with him more.

Just as I was going to give my attention back to Bella, I heard Emmett from his room. I could see that he was packing but he was thinking about Bella. He felt like he should say something, anything to her but was at a loss. The more he thought about it, the more it came down to one thing. What he really wanted to was to hug her and hold her. The small touch she gave him gave him so much comfort and because he felt so jumbled inside, all he wanted was that feeling of comfort.

Knowing that I could at least help ease his mind somewhat, I called out for him to come in. He hesitated, but eventually he came in. Immediately he sought out Bella and I could see his entire body relax. Wordlessly, he crept over to her side of the bed and crouched down to look at her.

Transfixed on the bear of a man looking at a frail human with such awe and adoration, it was beyond touching. I almost felt as if I was intruding on a very private moment. Gently he brushed some hair off her face.

_You are gonna be one fucking awesome vamp, Bella Beans. I can't wait. Your first bear hunting trip is with me, okay? Thanks, Belly. I…you didn't have to…..love you too, baby sister._

Just as gentle as his touch, he placed a feather light kiss on her head.

_You are one lucky guy, Edward. Tell her I said bye. _

I nodded my head and as he walked past to leave I reached out for his arm. I wasn't sure what I was going to say, words seemed inadequate at this time, so instead I squeezed his arm, to let him know I was here for him. He gave me a watered down version of his smile and left. I hoped this little getaway would find a way to bring my brother back to me.

An hour after Emmett and Rose left, Bella finally woke up. She looked around, a bit confused.

"I brought you up here to sleep after the discussion downstairs was over."

In her eyes I watched as she tried to remember what had happened. When she remembered, a jumble of emotions played over her face, shock, panic, sadness, anger and lastly panic. I didn't want her to feel any unnecessary stress over what happened. She had nothing to worry or fear. No one blamed her for anything.

"What does everyone think of me? I was horrible. I shouldn't have said those things." Her eyes closed once again and I wished she would keep them open; they were the easiest way for me to read her. "But she made me so angry, you know. Judging me, when she doesn't know me. But I never should have said what I did."

Grasping her shoulders and giving her a light shake, I waited until she was looking at me. "You have nothing to be sorry for. I repeat- _nothing_. Everyone was so proud of what you did. Rose had something like that coming to her. You had every right to defend yourself."

She was shaking her head, "But I told her to go jump in a fire," she whispered with such a look of true horror on her face.

Stroking her cheeks I tried to calm her down, "Baby, listen to me please." I paused to make sure I had her full attention. When at least she was looking at me, I continued. "Rose had no right to say those things to you. Yes, maybe what you said was harsh, but it was needed. For far too long, no one has ever called her on her bull shit. You did and it was the kick in the ass she needed. She has taken Emmett for granted for far too long. You made her realize that."

When I saw that she still had trouble believing me, I pushed forward. "Trust me; you made Rose finally realize how she has been treating Em. You only spoke the truth, and there is nothing wrong with that. Sometimes the truth hurts."

I watched as she tried to process everything, looking for something to argue or to blame herself for. But I wasn't going to let that happen. She had enough on her plate without shouldering unnecessary guilt.

"If you don't believe me, talk to anyone, they will say the same thing as me."

Of course she surprised me with her question, "Can I talk to Emmett?"

I paused, not sure what to say, or how to say it so she didn't get the wrong idea. But I knew the longer I paused the more out of control her thoughts would be.

"He's not here. He left with Rose a short while ago." I hurried to explain why they left. "Esme suggested that now would be a good time for them to spend some time alone, as a couple. Give them a chance to reconnect and talk things through without the family around. It's a good thing, baby. I promise."

I wasn't sure if she believed me, she didn't say anything. Instead she stretched and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I knew she would take Emmett leaving hard. She would feel as if it was her fault. I hoped she would soon realize that this was nothing to get too worked up about.

Two days later and Bella was still too quiet. She hardly talked at all during school, she was anxious and spacey. Several times I tried to get her to talk to me and all she said was that she was fine. After a few dozen 'fines' I was getting sick of the fucking word. So much so I blew up at Alice when we dropped her off after school on Tuesday.

"I swear, Alice, what else can I do? She is feeling guilty over something that wasn't her fault." All I wanted was my Bella back, the one that smiled and hugged me. Not the one of the last few days, where there was no light in her eyes and no smile on her face.

"I know, Edward. I think the only thing that could help is if she hears from Emmett. I think she needs to talk to him. Think about it."

I had to admit, she may be right. She did ask for him when she woke. Even Emmett acted like he wished he could talk to her. The only problem I saw in getting them to talk was Rosalie. Would she let him? We knew they had arrived safely, they went to Rochester. Esme thinks it's so she can finally put to rest some of her grieving. Plus, she hasn't been back there since everything happened. Not even Emmett has seen where she used to live.

"Will she let him talk?" She closed her eyes and I watched as she flipped through the visions. Unfortunately none of them were real conclusive. I decided to send him a text asking if he would call Bella to talk to her.

_Will you call Bella? - E_

**Why?-Em**

_She is feeling like her fault you left.-E_

**Sorry. When?-Em**

_In an hour, I'll be there. Will Rose be ok with it?-E_

**She will be fine. Is Bella ok?-Em**

_After you talk to her, I hope so.-E_

**Call in a while.-Em**

It was the best I could do. About forty five minutes later I was at her door and she was shocked to see me.

"Hey. What you doing here?" She smiled and for the first time in days it looked genuine.

"Hoping to cheer up my girlfriend." I brought the brown paper bag that was behind my back to the front and presented it to her.

"What's in here?" The smile got wider, she looked happy. This was all I wanted to see.

"Check it out." She dove into the bag and pulled out a small container of Cookie Dough Ice Cream, her favorite.

"Really? For me?" She threw her arms around me and ushered me inside. I could tell she was sitting down reading, Charlie must be working tonight. I motioned for her to sit back down while I got her a spoon.

When I got back she dug into the ice cream and her soft moans of delight were music to my ears and my cock. I watched her in silence, reveling in the knowledge that I could make her happy, even if it's for a little while.

After a few minutes, she finally spoke. "What did you mean, wanting to cheer me up?" I saw the light begin to leave her eyes and I reached for her hand.

"Please don't be sad. I just want to see you smile. I haven't seen it in a while. You're beautiful when you smile." I placed a chaste kiss on her cheek. "Plus I have another surprise for you, one I think you will like." With that said, her phone rang and I handed it to her.

"No questions, just answer it."

She took it from me and answered, "Hello?"

I heard Emmett's booming voice yell out, "Belly bear!" Bella's face lit up when she realized it was Em. She looked at me with tears in her eyes and mouthed 'thank you'. Wanting to give her some privacy, I kissed her head and walked out the back door. I knew everything was going to be alright.

It nearly killed me to hear her sniffling, but I stayed outside, knowing she needed the freedom to talk to Emmett without censoring what she said. I knew she would do that if I was there, worried that she would upset me. If she could only realize that the only thing that upsets me is when she is hurting, like now. Seeing her unhappy, well, it kills me.

I heard her say goodbye to Emmett, her voice was lighter and she even laughed. The back door opened and in seconds she was seated next to me, her head on my shoulder.

"Thank you and I am sorry." She turned her face and kissed my jaw.

"You're welcome and why are you sorry?" I was perplexed as to what she could be apologizing for.

"For moping, for not believing you when you said it wasn't my fault. Em told me that it was about time things came out. He has been trying for a while to help her, but nothing worked. He even said that Rose doesn't completely hate me. She's still upset, but doesn't hate me" She let out a big sigh. I felt she had more she needed to get off her chest.

"Regardless, I had no right to take what I was feeling out on you. You have been nothing short of supportive, wonderful, loving and I didn't deserve it. It's hard you know?"

Strange thing, I had an idea what she meant.

"Yea, I get it. You're not used to someone looking out for your well being. Always the caretaker, never the one taken care of. But I want to change that. I want to care for you." I moved us so I could slide her on my lap and tuck her into me. "I love you, Bella. We are in this together, okay."

"I love you, too." I kissed her head and I knew we were going to be just fine.

The rest of the week was better than the beginning. It was nice to see Bella smiling and laughing once again. Things were progressing nicely. I noticed that her smell was still gradually changing and Alice was seeing that clearer that right around Christmas was when we would complete the bond. I have to admit, I was looking forward to it.

I was walking with Bella to her last class of the day, listening to her make planks with Alice to get in some Christmas shopping. She was trying to lay down some rules for Alice and of course she wasn't having it.

"Hey, time out ladies. We will finish this after school." I bent down to kiss her lips. "I'll work on her for ya," I breathed.

She laughed and gave me a smirk that told me she knew we were both going to lose. In response I sent her a dazzling smile. One last kiss and I was off with Alice.

"You know, you could go easy on her." I chided Alice as we walked to gym.

"Yes, but in the end, you'll both give in to me." Her smile was dazzling.

"Maybe that's because you would hound us until we give in. That's got to tell you something." She pushed me away at the locker room doors.

_Doesn't matter, brother dearest. I still get my way._

I chuckled so she could hear and I went to get dressed for gym. We were starting a section on weights and had to go downstairs to the weight room. I found Alice lounging off to the side and went to sit by her. It was easy to let my mind drift when Coach Clapp began to drone on about weight room safety.

I had started to think seriously about asking Bella to marry me. It would be the last way to tie ourselves together. We would be bonded by marriage and mated as vampires. To me, it couldn't get any more permanent than that. So lost in my musings over marriage I didn't hear Alice shouting tome mentally.

_Edward! EDWARD! Bella needs you! _

That of course caught my attention. I turned to look at her, letting her know I was listening.

_The vision just happened; Bella is or was seconds away from a mate moment. You need to get to her fast. Send her a text to tell her to fake being sick and that you will meet her outside her class. The longer it takes her to get to you, the worse it will be._

The vision she showed me make me sick to my stomach. I shook my head. Now, how in the hell do I get out of here? By now we were paired off and supposed to make a circuit of the room. Alice naturally was my partner. We were currently by the free weights.

_I'll make it look like a weight fell on your foot. That will get you out of here. _Before I processed, Alice pushed a weight by my foot and I pretended to yelp in pain. I played my part and finally I got permission to go see the nurse.

I raced as fast as I could to the locker room and changed. I kept my mind focused on Alice who was busy showing me image after image of Bella slowly losing it. I was hurrying so much I almost ripped my pants. I forced myself to calm down for just a few seconds. I would do no good to Bella if I was freaking out.

As I left the locker room I send Bella text.

_Fake sick. On my way. See you outside your class.-E_

I didn't expect her to text back. Within minutes of leaving the weight room I was outside Bella's room. From the window I was able to look at her clearly. Her face was pale, and I could see she was shaking. Her eyes were darting all over the place and even from here I could hear her heart being fast. I worried that she hadn't gotten my text.

I sent another one and listened for the alert on her phone. I heard it go off and this time, she reached down to pull her phone out and read them. Her eyes flew to the door and I showed her that I was there, waiting. Without any hesitation she raised her hand and asked to be excused as she wasn't feeling well. With the way she looked, it was easy to pull off. She was excused and she all but flew out the room and into my arms.

I felt her silent tears as she clung to me. I could hear her talking but the words made no sense. So I focused on getting us out of school and into my car. The panicked look in her eyes when I had to let go of her hand about crushed me. As fast as I could without drawing attention I flew to the driver's side and sped away.

The entire time I was driving, Bella had her hands on me. Everywhere and anywhere she could. It was distracting and made it difficult for me to focus on getting her through her first mate moment.

"Where do you want to go? Your place or mine?" I chuckled at the question, but it seemed lost on Bella who was still staring at me as if I was going to vanish into thin air. Since Bella's house was closer I headed there. I also figured that being in a place she was familiar with couldn't hurt as well.

We made it to her place in no time and as soon as I parked I flashed to her side so she didn't freak out. When I took her hand to help her out of the car, she flung herself at me and wrapped her arms around me. Together we walked into her house and I guided us to the couch.

Once there I had Bella sit on my lap and calmly began to stroke her hair. "So, how are you doing? Liking your first mate moment?"

She let out a soft sigh, "Better now that you are here. And, no, they suck, or at least this one does."

"Want to talk to me about it?" I just kept calm, hoping she would know that everything would be just fine.

"It was weird, you know. Just kind of hit me. But all I could think about was getting to you, I had to make sure you were… safe? No, it wasn't that. I just _had _to see you, to make sure you were there. I can't figure it out. But once I saw you, I wanted to cry and laugh. I needed to touch you, to make sure you were real. It was fucking bizarre." She shivered.

"How are you feeling now? I know from mine that once I was touching you it made the panicky feelings better." She cuddled close to me, her face buried in my neck, breathing my scent in deep.

"Better, but I need to keep in contact with you. I feel all shaky when I can't touch you. Man, these mate moments are weird. I don't like feeling in control of my emotions."

"I know, I felt the same way. But we can make it through them. Together, like we do everything else."

**A/N: Sooo thoughts? Loved it? Hated it? Send me some reviews...please!**

**One last thing... TFA is having a Summer Fantasy Oneshot Contest and I entered... please check out mine and the other awesome entries and vote. You can vote until Sept. 11! http:/www dot fanfiction dot net/u/3055460/ PLEASE READ AND VOTE! XXOO**


	27. Ch 26

**A/N: Ahh we meet again! First off- thanks soo much for all the reviews and faves and alerts.. you guys rock! I can't say it enough! Secondly- I know you are waiting for the mating and believe me it is coming...in fact it will be in chapter 28.. can you hold on?**

**Also... to everyone who voted in the TFA Summer Fantasy Contest- THANKS.. I won the public vote. That one shot will be posted right after this.. so author alert me to get it! It will give you a sneak peak of how I write my lemons and what you maybe able to expect in Ch. 28 and beyond!**

**To CullensTwiMistress.. what can I say girl.. you make me and TMC look good! Ohh some of you guessed what will happen at the this chapter.. such perceptive readers I have!**

**As always.. I don't own Twilight or anything remotely close to it... but I own this story.. which is close enough! ENJOY!**

Chapter 26

"You have got to be kidding me!" Bella stopped the pacing she started seconds ago and flopped back onto the couch in Carlisle's office. I knew she was exasperated, I was as well. I reached for her hand and twined our fingers together. She relaxed almost instantaneously. She threw her head back so it rested on the back of the couch. Neither Carlisle nor I said anything; we let her process the information.

After a few moments of silence, Carlisle continued to speak. "I am afraid so, Bella. We knew there was a chance that the mate moments would increase as your scent continued to change and it draws closer to your bonding. By what has happened in the last ten days I would say that is what's happening."

That was a huge understatement if I ever heard one. In the last ten days there have been five mate moments between Bella and I. I have been the lucky recipient of three of them with Bella getting the other two. But it sucks when every other fucking day we are dealing with them.

They were getting stronger and lasting longer.

Bella hadn't had an easy time with them. Her second mate moment came in the middle of the night. By the time Alice saw and I arrived in her room, she was a sobbing mess. The only upside was the huge make out session that occurred. That mate moment was all about Bella needing intimacy. My ego felt better when the moment was over and I brought her to three orgasms. Of course it severely tested my self control.

On the other hand, my mate moments were all over the place. None of them were ever the same. I had one where I was so fucking possessive and protective, I couldn't handle her in school. Everyone's thoughts about her drove me mad. I nearly killed Newton when he made an internal comment about her ass. Needless to say, we spent that moment at my house, in my room with the fucking door locked.

Carlisle continued to talk, bringing me back to the present. "I spoke to Alice and she assures me that your scent will be completely changed by Christmas at the latest. So we need to finalize the plans for that. Have you given any more thought to the story of a vacation?"

We had spoken about this at length and realized it was the best possible solution to needing uninterrupted time together. Our only problem was where the bonding would take place. Neither of us wanted it to be at my house. We were leaning towards booking a suite at the Fairmont. Although, I could tell that Bella wasn't too keen on the money that would take.

"Yea, it seems to be the best thing to do. When do we tell Charlie?" She looked at us both with expectation and hopefulness. Deep down she wasn't looking forward to lying to Charlie and was hoping we would take the lead on that.

Carlisle looked thoughtful. "We could invite him over and ask him then. Maybe even do a dinner?" He looked over at us both.

Bella shrugged her shoulders and looked at me. I in turn, tuned into Alice's thoughts which were running through all the different options available to us. She landed on one that seemed to garner the highest success rate.

"According to Alice, inviting him to dinner would be the best. I guess it's time for the families to meet." I tried to add some levity to it all. It must have worked, Bella actually smiled.

"Sounds good. I guess I'll let Charlie know that we are invited to dinner." With that done, Bella went to talk to Esme about a menu for the evening. I listened as she tried to figure out what would be the easiest for us to eat. Poor Esme didn't have the heart to tell her that it didn't matter what we had to eat, it would all taste horrible to us.

Meanwhile, Alice had joined Carlisle and me to devise the best possible story to tell Charlie. We ran through several before we landed on a few that should work. As the evening progressed, Alice will keep looking out for the best outcome and will relay it to the rest of us as soon as it emerges. I had to admit that I was getting excited by the prospect that the mating would happen soon.

About an hour later, the menu was planned, the possible stories were sorted out and Bella had called and invited Charlie to dinner. Now, all we had to do was wait. Needing to do something before I go a little crazy from the waiting, I took Bella to my piano where I calmed myself by playing for the next hour or so.

Three days later and it was our little dinner night and I was partly excited, and partly feeling nauseous that I would have to pretend to eat. Charlie and Bella arrived a few minutes before dinner was ready and they were seated in the living room. Carlisle got Charlie a beer and Bella went to help Esme in the kitchen. Alice and I said nothing as Charlie and my dad sat at talked about a few cases they were working together on. I monitored his thoughts but still found them to be hazy.

Charlie was nervous and surprisingly what I could gather it wasn't because he felt he was in a house full of predators, but that he hated what a dinner of this type meant. Or at least what he _thought _it meant. He wasn't fond of the idea that Bella and I were serious and I bit back a laugh. If he really understood how serious it was. My thumb absently rubbed the ring on my right hand.

"Dinner is ready, why don't you all come into the dining room," Esme's voice was soft and inviting.

Charlie stood up and took an appreciative sniff, "Sure smells good, Esme."

Esme smiled gently and led Charlie towards the table. She seated him at the foot of the table with Bella sitting to his left and me right next to her. Carlisle was at the head with Esme on his left and Alice next to her. The next few minutes were filled with clanking of utensils as the food was passed around. Bella had decided on baked teriyaki chicken, rice pilaf and steamed broccoli. It smelled revolting.

Once the food had been passed around, Charlie broke the silence first, "This is really good, Esme. You are a lucky man Carlisle."

Esme beamed, "Thank you, Charlie. Bella was a great help in planning and finishing up the meal."

Of course Bella blushed and I winked at her. She watched in fascination as I scooped up some rice and in a blur dropped into the waiting napkin on my lap. She tried to hold in her giggle, but her entire body was shaking.

"Bella is a great cook. I am lucky to have her." There was no mistaking the pride in his voice or in his thoughts. He loved Bella very much. He has grown fond of having her at home and will be sad to see her leave for school.

I can see now why she struggled with her choice and why she did not want to prolong Charlie's pain. She was a truly selfless person and I loved her all the more for it.

"Carlisle tells me that you two have been working together on the Taylor case." Charlie nodded mutely. "How sad." Esme's voice betrayed the deep emotion she felt. She followed the case with an almost frantic compulsion; she felt a deep connection to the woman currently residing in the ICU in the hospital.

Charlie's mustache twitched in frustration, he had no leads on the husband who vanished before the police even arrived, leaving his wife severally battered and bloodied. They had only recently moved into town and no one knew them all that well.

"Yes, I wish I had better news on my end, but everything has lead to a dead end. Its cases like this that really keep me awake at night." He stabbed a piece of chicken showing the frustration he felt.

"We hope she will wake soon, she is being weaned off the sedation meds." Carlisle's thoughts were filled with the numerous injuries that she had. He was surprised she has survived this long. Everyone knew that she may hold crucial information, but until she woke, there were few leads.

"Where are the rest of your kids?" Charlie looked around and noticed the absence of the other three.

_This is the perfect time to ask about the 'trip'. _Alice whispered the same words to my parents soon after she thought them for me.

Carlisle nodded and Esme smiled to let her know they heard.

"Well, Jasper is at the library. He has a school project that he needs to do; he is hoping to get it finished in time to enjoy his Christmas break." Alice threw an adorable little pout when Carlisle said this.

"Our other two decided to take a vacation of their own and will only be back for a few days around the New Year," continued Carlisle.

"Can you ask Charlie now, Mom?" asked the sweet voice of Alice, her face the picture of perfect innocence. I had to swallow back my laughter at her face. Even Bella shook her head at Alice's less than obvious tactic.

Charlie looked around the table in confusion, first to Alice, then Bella, then finally landing on my parents. "Ask me what?" Was made this even funnier was that Bella and Charlie were the only two still eating. By now, the rest of us had pushed our plates away. My napkin was overflowing with food and my stomach was rolling due to the few pieces I had to swallow.

"Well, I was planning on taking a few of the kids to Colorado for a week. I have a client out there and a dear friend from college as well. Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Rosalie were all to accompany me. But, since Emmett and Rose backed out..." As Esme paused, Alice jumped right in.

"I was very upset about this! I mean who is going to go shopping with me while Edward and Jasper play Shaun White on the half pipe?" She let out a very unladylike snort and for good measure, an eye roll.

What was more incredible was the way that Charlie just ate it up. I was shaking my head and Bella was staring with open mouthed shock. Both of my parents were smirking as they watched Alice work her magic.

"What I think Alice is trying to get at," interjected Esme smoothly, "is that with Rose no longer going, she was, well we were hoping Bella could come with us. Edward and Jasper will be spending their free time on the ski slopes; Alice was worried she would be bored."

Esme paused and looked at Charlie who had yet to say a word. Bella placed a hand on his arm, "Um, dad what do you think?" He blinked for a few seconds and then turned to Bella before looking back at my parents.

"How long is this trip?" I honed into his thoughts and while he wasn't opposed to the idea, he was concerned that Bella and I would be unsupervised together. While he was slowly getting used to the idea that we were dating, he hated the idea of losing his little girl to me or rather _any _boy for that matter.

"We have tickets to leave early on the 26th and return late on the 1st. We would love to have her. We are staying with my friend; she lives on the outskirts of Vail. She will be at home with the kids when I am out with clients, so there will be plenty of supervision." She gave Charlie and knowing smile, as if she could understand his concern.

I guess she could when Alice was whispering things to her under her breath. It was almost too comical, it was like Alice was feeding Esme the lines that were guaranteed to make Charlie agree. I saw Bella trying to look around the table, seeing if she could figure it out. A tiny pucker of frustration was etched in the space between her eyes and I wanted to smooth it out. Instead I sufficed with a squeeze of her knee under the table.

"Please Charlie?" Alice was giving him some serious pouting. I swear if her lip jutted out any further I could balance my cup of milk on it. That of course made me chuckle. I felt Alice tap Bella under the table and with her eyes motioned for join in.

"Dad, what do you think?" She asked rather timidly. "It sounds like fun and I want to go."

"Are you going to try and ski or snowboard?" Charlie snorted at the idea of Bella on skis. The whole table then erupted in laughter at the same thought.

Bella was shaking her head furiously with a horrified expression. "No! I mean I can barely walk, much less go barreling down a slippery slope. No, I'd rather go sightseeing and shopping. Of course Alice promised me a balance of the two, didn't you?"

Now I had to laugh at that idea. Bella was clever, putting it out there in the hopes that it will temper Alice and her shopping excursions. Even my parents were smirking at Bella and what she just did.

Alice narrowed her eyes only slightly, before agreeing. "Sure, we can do both. So what do you say, Charlie?"

Everyone turned an expectant look in his direction. _Sounds like everything will be okay. It sounds like fun. _

"If you don't think it will be too much trouble, Esme. Sure, Bella can go."

Alice, Bella and even Esme clapped in excitement. Both Bella and Alice squealed their thanks to Charlie with Bella giving him a small peck on the cheek. The rest of the meal was spent in pleasant conversation about the trip and holiday plans. Luckily it wasn't too long before we could be excused from the table.

Alice and Bella helped Esme clear the table then shooed them away while she finished the dishes.

"Well, I should get going; I have the early shift tomorrow. Are you ready Bella?" Charlie looked at her.

"Can she stay for a while? I want to talk to her about what we should pack as we only have a week to figure it all out! I'll drive her home"

Of course Charlie was all flustered by Alice and just nodded mutely to her request. She of course let out a very chime-like squeal, briefly hugged him and gave him a small peck. A small blush crept onto his cheeks and I smiled. Now I knew where Bella got it from.

Bella walked her Dad to the door and thanked him for allowing her to go on the trip. Another small hug and he left. I ghosted to her side and hugged her close. She sank into my arms.

"You okay?" I stared deep into her eyes, searching, probing for how she was truly feeling. It was getting easier, our bond, our connection helping us read each other better. Her eyes softened under my gaze, there was a longing there. It was a realization how close we were to completing this long process. I could see her elation, joy and even fear about it.

I understood, for I ran the gamut of those emotions and so many others when I think about how close we were. Each day her scent changed. The burn that used to accompany her scent was almost gone. Being so very close to her was easy; I could kiss her and not worry. I could be intimate with her and not fear for her well being. I couldn't wait to complete the bond but then I was just as terrified by it.

I pulled her in close, "We are in this together, love. Remember, we do this _together_." I stressed the word that had been our mantra since day one. We leaned on each other for support. We trusted those family and friends who were going to help us, who wanted only for us to be happy. That was how we were going to make it through this.

She nodded and snuggled closer, the relief she felt at me understanding the complex emotions that were coursing through her was intense. I knew that she struggled to identify and contain the emotions that come with a mating connection. Some days, it was simply too much. Carlisle wondered if that was why her mate moments made her cry. The onslaught of emotions was just too much for her to handle. Part of me hated that he may be right. My only solace was found in that we had about a week to get through, and then we would be mated.

In silence we just stood in the living room, holding each other, content to just be near one another. It was where we were the most relaxed and at ease. If we could stay like this until we were mated, I don't think that she would mind, I knew I wouldn't.

"Ok, that is enough with the love fest. Break it up you too. Jazz, it's time!" Alice melodic voice sliced through our intimate little bubble.

We both looked at her, trying to figure out what it was time for. I could see Bella as she looked to me for the answer and I tried to delve into Alice's mind for a clue. I was met with a loud list of shoes designers and the colors of shoes they have. I quickly exited her mind.

Jazz soon appeared along with both my parents. "Anyone care to share what's going on?" I asked while looking around the room. All around were smiles. All their minds were completely filled with inane crap. Jasper was recreating a battle at Galveston; Carlisle was translating the muscles of the body into their root words and Esme was running through the weight loads on all the beams in the house. It was maddening.

"What's going on Edward?" Bella voice broke through my concentration. I turned a frustrated gaze towards her and shook my head.

"I have no idea, they are _all _blocking me!" At that, said family members began to snicker.

"Let's go before Edward gets any more frustrated," was Jasper's calm reply.

Alice skipped up to us and grabbed our hands. "You need to trust me, all of us Edward. Carlisle needs to carry Bella…"

"Why? I can do it."

She had the nerve to roll her eyes at me. "Of course you can. But since I will have my hands on your eyes, I figured you would want someone who was looking to carry Bella." She gave me such a 'well duh' expression, but I was confused by why I would need to have my eyes closed.

"We want to take you both to your Christmas present, from the family. Please, Edward."

Esme was asking that we trust them, and I knew that I did. I squeezed Bella's hand as I nodded yes. Silently we walked out to the porch. Alice handed Bella her jacket and slipped a blindfold on her eyes. Carlisle walked up to her and gently grabbed her hand.

"Care for a lift m'lady?" She chuckled as his often unused native British accent come out. She nodded shyly and squeezed his hand. He helped her scramble onto his back. When she was comfortable, I felt Alice spring lightly onto mine.

"You are to follow Jazz's scent. Ready?" She was asking everyone and when we gave our consent, my eyes were covered by Alice's hand and I was pitched into darkness. Suddenly, all of my other senses were heightened. Bella's heart beat was louder, the rustling of the leaves more pronounced and the scents of all my family members were more noticeable.

I heard Jazz as he leapt from the porch and flew into the forest. I followed right after him. I could sense that Esme was slightly ahead of me and to my left; Carlisle was behind me and to my right. I carefully monitored Bella's heart and pulse for any signs that she was uncomfortable. I knew she would be fine with Carlisle, but she had never gone running with anyone else.

_Stop worrying about her and follow Jasper._

I smiled at Alice. "Care to give me a hint of where we are going?" I knew the general direction we were going. I knew we ran over the small river that ran behind our house. But I knew of nothing in that general area that would be a suitable present for both Bella and I. I was stumped and from the giggles coming from Alice, I knew I wasn't going to get any help from her.

Our run lasted no more than twenty minutes. The scents around me told me very little. I could smell freshly turned earth, wood, and paint? Well that was an odd scent to have out here. Alice held her hands over my eyes tightly. I could hear as Esme and Carlisle helped Bella off his back. From her heart I could tell she was right next to me. I reached for her hand.

When everyone was done positioning us, Alice counted out loud and then removed her hands from eyes as she jumped off my back. Besides me Bella let out a loud gasp and her hands flew to her mouth.

"Merry Christmas," whispered Esme and gestured to the quaintest little cottage I had ever seen.

**A/N: Soo some of you guessed that is what Em and Jasper were doing several chapters back... yeah for getting it right!**

**Soo what do you think? Like it? Hate it? Whatever.. just show me the love! Please? **


	28. Ch 27

**A/N: Soooo sorry this was late.. RL just kinda got in the way... to make it up for you..there is a treat at the end of the chapter for you! A HUGE THANK YOU! to all of my readers! You rock! Love to see all the alerts, faves and of course..reviews!**

**A huge *mwah* to CullensTwiMistress who helped polish this until it shined! You rock sister of mine! Many of you liked the gift of the cottage! Well...this is the last chapter before lemon city begins...are you still with me?**

**How I dream that I owned the world of Twilight.. but I don't, but I do get to play dress up with them...for some reason..Edward is always nekkid... hehe**

**ENJOY!**

Chapter 27

BPOV

I knew it was one hell of a week by where I was sitting, in this room, with her. I knew it was going to happen, I had hope it was later rather than sooner. I wondered where all my strength and bravo had gone. Why was I suddenly nervous when I had faced her and won? I closed my eyes in contemplation, the week started out so good.

The dinner with the Cullen's and my dad went as well as could be expected. They fed him the phony story about the vacation and he bought it hook, line and sinker. Fishing pun very much intended. Now the path was clear for us to have uninterrupted time to complete our bond. I was both excited and nervous about that. To know that I would be bound to Edward, my perfect slice of heaven, it was mind blowing. But when I looked back on my life, I knew this is where I was meant to be, he was my destiny. I knew that.

When Esme, Carlisle, Alice and Jasper took us out into the woods for our Christmas present I had no idea what to expect. I knew with the Cullen's that nothing was really off-limits when it came to gift giving. But when we arrived and the blindfold was removed, I never expected what I was seeing. A small, beautiful cottage.

My eyes were glued to the site before me as I heard Esme talking. "I knew that you would prefer your own space for your bonding. This little place has been out here for some time and I decided it would make the perfect little getaway. Not only for your bonding but even afterwards."

Her voice was tentative and soft and neither Edward nor I had said anything. I mean what do you say when someone presents you with a house? Thank you was grossly inadequate in my mind. Somehow I was able to tear my gaze from the cottage before me and face Esme.

"I don't know what to say. Thank you, thank you!" I flew to her and wrapped my arms around her. I buried my nose in the crook of her neck. She held me close and we rocked from side to side. She was the mother I never really had and I relished in moments like these.

"Oh, Bella. You are so very welcome. I only want to make you happy and feel comfortable with our family."

"I am happy, happier than I ever thought possible. It is because you make me feel welcome and comfortable with your family." Looking over, I saw Carlisle, Alice and Jasper with huge smiles. "Did you guys help as well?"

They all nodded. "Jazz and Emmett helped with all the stone and woodwork, I helped Esme decorate the interior and…" Alice trailed off as she gestured towards Carlisle.

He stepped forward, closer to Edward and me and handed Edward folded up papers. "I arranged for this little part of the gift."

Edward opened the papers and I watched his face carefully. His brow scrunched as he was reading and taking in the information he was seeing. As he read, his face smoothed out and the start of his crooked smile took shape.

"Is this what I think it is?" he asked Carlisle. I glanced over at him and he simply nodded. The small smile on Edward's face turned into a huge smile that lit up his entire face. I craned my neck to take a look at the papers he held, it looked like a contract, there was nothing but words.

"What is that?" I motioned with my hand to what he was holding.

"This," he waved, "is a deed to the cottage and some of the land surrounding it." I didn't quite understand what that meant. He walked closer and pointed to a specific section of the document. "Here," he pointed, "They are giving us the cottage and the land around it, to _us_."

When I finally focused on where he was pointing, I noticed our names; Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and Isabella Marie Swan. I looked closely and realized he was right. It was a deed to the cottage and a parcel of land.

"This is ours?" my hands gestured wildly around to hopefully encompass the cottage and the area around it. I was perplexed as to why they were doing this.

"Yes," replied Carlisle. "We wanted the cottage to be yours and we also decided to give you some of the land nearby. This is all part of the land that we own and since the cottage was going to be yours, it made sense that some of the land be yours as well. Land is a good thing for a vampire to own."

I was flabbergasted. His parents gave us a house _and _land. I mean, seriously, I was a home owner and a land owner at eighteen. Un-fucking-believable! All I could do was stare open mouthed at both Carlisle and Esme. I was waiting for the punch line, the other shoe to drop, something to tell me this wasn't real.

"Are they for real?" I had to ask Edward.

He was still smiling brightly. "Yes, this is all ours. According to the papers, the cottage and three acres of land are ours."

I couldn't help it; I jumped into his arms and squeezed him tightly. All he did was laugh and swing me around.

"Thank you, both. This was too much, but we so appreciate it." Edward's voice was full of emotion as he addressed his parents.

Suddenly, something pricked in the back of my mind, "Did you not see this coming?" I asked Edward point blank.

"No, I didn't. I knew they were keeping something from me for a while, but I had no clue." I stared in amazement at his family.

"Oh, wow." Was all I could reply. They must be good at blocking their thoughts.

"In actuality, only Alice and I knew everything that was going on. I only told the boys that I wanted to fix the cottage up so it didn't look so run down. Carlisle only knew that I wanted to give you guys some land; he thought I would build you a small place at a later point." Esme shrugged her shoulders as if it was no big deal, but it sure sounded like one to me.

"Still, this is amazing you guys. Thanks." Those were the only words that I had to express my gratitude.

"Do you want to look around now?" Esme held up a small brass key.

Without consulting Edward, I nodded enthusiastically, "Yes, please!" Behind me I heard Edward laugh.

"Eager, love?"

"Of course," I retorted. I swiped the key out of Esme's hand and ran for the door. Edward, of course, was there waiting for me. I couldn't wait till I could beat him for once.

"Are you trying to stop me?" I couldn't help the little pout of my lips.

"Never," he whispered as he kissed my pursed lips. I pulled him closer, deepening the kiss. I nibbled on his lower lip and his hands pulled me closer. He pulled back slightly to allow me to catch my breath and laid his forehead to mine. "Let's go in before we get carried away."

I nodded mutely, always rendered speechless after his kisses. My hand was shaking and it took me two tries to get the key in and turn the handle. I turned around to speak to Esme and realized we were all alone.

"Where did they go?"

"They figured we would want to look around by ourselves."

Once again, his family proved how well they understood me and went out of their way to make me feel like part of the family. Never had I ever felt as loved and as cared for as I did right now. Maybe there was nothing wrong with letting others take care of me. Maybe that was what you did when you loved someone. They took care of you and you took care of them.

"That was nice of them," I wanted to say more but I was completely overwhelmed by what I saw as the door swung open. This just couldn't be real, this wasn't our place. I really loved the sound of that, _our place._

The front door opened up into a cozy little living room. There was a huge stone fireplace that was the center of the wall to our left with built in bookshelves on either side. The ceilings were a bit low and were made out of huge log pieces. The floor was dark hardwood and there were several rugs in all kinds of earth tones scattered throughout. In front of the fireplace was a huge thick black rug, I could imagine what could happen there. My face heated up at those thoughts.

Moving away from the fireplace, I noticed the black couch that faced it as well as two high back leather wing-back chairs. They looked comfortable enough to read in. The other side of the room held a small wood table with two chairs.

Deeper into the back of the room was a small kitchenette. There was a small breakfast island with two bar stools under it. There were stainless steel appliances and a fair amount of cupboard space. I could so picture me cooking here and maybe even having Edward help.

"What do you think?" I asked as my eyes roamed the room once more, soaking up all the details that I could. At this moment I wished I had the memory of a vampire, so I could remember every little thing.

"I love it. It's a perfect mix of you and me." I turned back and looked at it with his eyes, and I could see it. The lines were clean and simple. The colors were simplistic and warm. It had a cozy feeling without feeling cluttered.

Edward came up behind and wrapped his arms around me, "What do _you_ think?" His lips were nuzzled in the crook of my neck. It was making me forget what he asked.

I melted into his embrace. I had noticed a few things that as my scent continued to change it's easier for Edward to be closer to me. I also realized that I long to be closer to him. I like when we are wrapped up in each other, kissing, talking, kissing, and fooling around. Did I mention the kissing? If things keep up the way they have been going, maybe my nerves will be gone by the time the bonding happens.

Edward's low chuckle brought me to the present and his cool breath swirled around me, making me dizzy. "Did I dazzle you, love?"

I chuckled in response. "I love it. I can see us here."

His low hum of appreciation vibrated through me and I knew he agreed with me. We moved forward to check out the rest of the house but all we found was a locked door. A note attached to it said we don't get to see the bedroom until the bonding. Since it was getting late, we decided to head back to the house, time for me to go home.

The next few days were relatively easy. In school the work was minimal as it was just before the Christmas break. Alice was over just as much as Edward was, helping me pack for the 'trip'. The day that school was done for break, is when things got a bit, umm, weird.

I was with Alice as I had dragged her with me to the grocery store. I planned to spend Christmas Eve making meals for Charlie when I was gone as well as what we were going to eat for Christmas. I had a few last minute gifts to wrap and I tried not to think about the fact that in a few short days I would be losing my virginity. It almost seems too surreal.

So, I was in the meat department and Alice was trying not to gag when I saw her stiffen and her eyes went all far away looking. I knew what that meant, she was having a vision. I stayed close by and kept an arm on her. Why I did that I'll never know. It seemed to last forever but I am sure it was just a few seconds, but when it was over she turned to me, eyes wide. I was uncertain of the emotions swimming in them, but I knew it was about me.

"What is it, Alice, your scaring me." I pulled her out of the main shopping area and to someplace we could talk with a bit more privacy.

"Your scent, it's done changing, it's time." I knew it was going to happen soon, Alice always saw right around the holidays. But her tone made me feel as if there was something else.

"We need to get you to Edward, soon. Give me your list." I didn't ask questions, I closed my eyes and ran down the list of what I needed. As I did that, Alice was texting on her phone.

"Here is what will happen, Carlisle is on his way here to take you to Edward, he will explain. I'll finish the shopping. Charlie won't be home until later so I can drop off the food when I am done. You will be home in time for Charlie. Go wait by the front door."

She pushed me in the direction of the front doors and flashed to finish the rest of my shopping. I was only waiting a few minutes before Carlisle's sleek black Mercedes pulled up next to me. The door opened and I hopped in.

I was still in a bit of a daze, not really sure what the big deal was, we knew this would happen. Why the rush? Why does it seem to be more than what I thought it would be? Without a word being spoken, he pulled away and sped onto the street.

"I bet your wondering what's happening." That was an understatement but I nodded.

"Well, it seems that Edward instinctively knew that your scent had changed and well seems to be in something like a mate moment. I think it's best if we get you to him."

Of course, now I was fucking freaking out. What did he mean something like a mate moment? Doesn't he know what the fuck is going on? I could tell I was starting to go to pieces and luckily so did Carlisle.

"It's going to be okay, Bella. Calm down, take deep slow breaths. I don't think it's anything to freak out about." His hand reached for mine and gave it a gentle squeeze. "He was up in his room and then all of a sudden he came down and he started to ask for you. Alice's text came and told me her vision." That didn't sound too bad. "I am sure once he sees you, he will calm down and you will see it was nothing to get concerned about."

His voice was so smooth and reassuring, I had no choice but to trust what he was saying. I never knew Carlisle to be a liar, so I had no reason to suspect he would start right now. So, I did what he asked. I tried to calm down and take slow and even breaths. In a blink of an eye, we were pulling up the driveway and the house was coming into view.

Before the car had even finished stopping, my door was wrenched open and there was Edward. The relief in his eyes when he saw me was palatable. He scooped me up without saying a word and held me tight. His hands were all over me; stroking my back, running through my hair, over my arms. His lips were traveling over my cheeks, my lips, my forehead, down to my neck and collarbones. Every once in awhile I could hear him take deep sniffs of me and then he would mumble. Not knowing what I should do, I just rubbed soothing circles on his back.

He carried me into the house, past everyone and straight into his room. He plopped us down onto his couch and just held me close. How long we sat like that I don't know. But we never said a word; we just held each other close. Little by little the tension I felt in his body began to lessen. His movements were not as frantic, his breathing was even and slow.

Later Carlisle came into the room to explain that because my scent had changed that Edward may be unusually clingy. The plan was that he would stay with me tonight and then tomorrow. They had already planned on taking him hunting prior to the mating, so they would come for him tomorrow before Charlie got home. We had already decided, and Charlie knew, that I would go to the Cullen's in the evening on Christmas. It was all part of the ruse since we were supposedly leaving early the next day.

I agreed to anything that would help Edward who had stiffened upon Carlisle's entrance. He kept trying to shift himself in front of me. It was like he was trying to protect me. I wonder if he felt that his mate was being threatened by another male vampire. Both Esme and Alice had explained how possessive and territorial newly mated vampires became. This had to be the start of that.

So that was how the next day and half was spent. Edward came home with me, climbing in through my window as Alice dropped me off. Thankfully with the electric blanket Alice gave me, I spent all night cuddle up with Edward under the blankets. The urge to be intimate was overwhelming, several times we had to stop rather heated and intense make out sessions. But we had been warned that once the mating started, it would be hard to stop until it had run its course. Somehow I managed to fall asleep.

On Christmas Eve Edward helped me make and freeze dinners for Charlie and do some of my dinner prep for tomorrow. He told me stories of past Christmas' that they had and some of their stranger traditions. As the day wore on, Edward calmed considerably. Which was a relief to me, I worried about how easily it would be for him to leave when Jasper picked him up to go hunting.

It turned out I had nothing much to worry about, he was able to leave with no fuss and after a few dozen kisses, he left with his brother who swore he would return him in one piece. Charlie arrived home an hour later and went straight to bed.

Christmas Day dawned and it was a flurry of activity. Charlie and I exchanged gifts, ate dinner of which there was plenty of leftovers for lunch for the next week. I packed some last minute items and made it over to the Cullen's by six.

Esme walked out to the patio to greet me and ushered me inside where she told me she had hot chocolate heating up. When I walked in the living room I got the shock of my life. It wasn't the stunning Christmas decorations that looked straight out of a Martha Stewart magazine, or the pile of Christmas gifts, or the mouthwatering aromas of the dinner I would hardly eat. No, it was the person standing on the other side of the room.

"Emmett!" I ran to him and launched myself at him, wrapping my arms around him in a fierce hug. His hard arms wound around me and he swung me around.

"Belly!" he whispered in my ear. His voice cracked at the end and I knew if he could, he would be crying. As it was, I was doing enough of that for the both of us.

Although I had spoken to him over a week ago and he assured me that their leaving wasn't my fault, part of me refused to believe it until I saw him again. Emmett was the brother that I never had and didn't know I ever needed. As much as he embarrassed me, I knew that I wouldn't have him any other way.

"Missed you, Em."

"Missed you too, Belly. Everything is going to be fine, you believe me, right?"

I did, only because he was here. "Yes, I believe you." But just then a sickening thought came to me, if he is here, then that must mean…

"Hello, Bella." I turned to see that Rosalie was sitting on the couch. I had missed her in my excitement in seeing Emmett. My heart stopped for just a second and then it began beating so fast I thought it was going to pound straight out of my chest.

"Hi," I managed to croak out. I tensed; waiting for the shit storm that I knew was going to be coming my way. I had said some pretty cruel things and I knew that she would have some things to say in return. I wanted to look at her, to see what was written on her face, but I couldn't my eyes were glued to the floor. The courage I had before had deserted me.

"I was hoping we could talk," her voice was soft and melodious. There wasn't a hint of anger or malice in her words.

I looked around to see that the room was empty except for the two of us. Closing my eyes, the panic set in, we were all alone. I gulped nervously, I had no fucking idea what was going on or what was going to happen.

"They left to give us some privacy. I know you have no reason to trust me, but all I honestly want to do is talk. Please." Once again, there was nothing but honestly in her words, her voice was pleading, not angry.

As calmly as I could I went to sit on the chair opposite of her. I wasn't sure why, but I just wanted the space between us. A physical buffer for the emotional outburst I was partly expecting. Once seated, I nodded to her, not quite sure what to say to her.

I watched as she took a deep breath and closed her eyes; it was like she had to prepare herself to talk to me, which I found bizarre. When she finally did look at me, she smiled and I was blown away.

"There is too much that I want to say to you, it's all buzzing in my head, you know. But what it all comes down to is something rather simple. Thank you, Bella." Her eyes were full of sincerity, I could see, hell, I could practically _feel _it coming off of her.

"What for?" That was what I wanted to know, why thank me?

She smiled gently, "For saying what you did. It's true, all of it. I was miserable in my existence but I was too weak, too afraid to die that I never gave suicide any real thought. I hated what Carlisle did to me, but more than that I hated what he stole from me. When actuality I was mad at Royce for what _he s_tole from me. If Carlisle hadn't found me, I would have died and my future would have been stolen regardless anyways."

"Rosalie, you don't have to…"

"Yes, I do," she interrupted. She shook her head, her blond hair waving back and forth. She looked so lost and defeated and I hated that I had any hand in that. "You were right to call me a hypocrite. I begged Carlisle to change Emmett; he had no say in the matter. The entire time he was transforming, I never left his side but I felt such anguish over my decision. But he never held it against me. To him I gave him the best gift ever."

When she talks of Emmett, her entire face lights up, her tense muscles relax and she looks amazing, she is so very in love with him. Seeing her so radiant, I can see why Emmett fell in love with her. This was the Rosalie he sees all the time.

"But I was still hung up on what I had lost. You stated it so eloquently I never once realized how much I was hurting Em." Her lip begins to quiver and I see her sucking in quick breaths. "If I had the chance to be human I would, even if it meant losing Emmett, and he knew it." Her voice was just a whisper; I had to strain to hear her. "Even worse, he would let me go. He loves me enough to let me go. I asked him that when we were away, and he told me he would let me go."

I wanted to comfort her, to offer her something. Watching this strong and fierce woman break down before me was a bit heartbreaking. But instinctively I knew that she wouldn't accept my comfort, not when she was feeling so vulnerable and exposed. So I calmly waited for her to gain her composure.

"But you threw it all out there," her voice startled me from my silent thoughts. "You called me on all my bullshit. When I saw Em and how much he was hurting…" She trailed off. I understood the idea of your mate hurting was unfathomable. "Then when Jasper confirmed how he felt and showed me what he felt. I knew I had to do something to make this right."

Her eyes searched mine; they were full of determination and comprehension. "Thank you for saying what you did. The truth hurts and you spoke nothing but the brutal truth. I need to let go of the grief and make a life with Em. He deserves that, hell, we both do."

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes again, "You make Edward so very happy, Bella. I have _never _seen him this happy. I understand why you chose him, why you decided to become one of us. It wasn't because of the abilities or the beauty. It was to be with your soul mate. You made the right choice for you _and _him."

I was speechless. I had no idea what to say to that. I never thought she would be the type of person to admit when she was wrong, but she has done that and then some. But more than that, she, in her own way, told me that she accepted me.

"Thanks, Rosalie," I managed to stammer out and then blushed at my less than articulate reply.

She gave me a genuine smile and it was stunning.

"Emmett wanted to come back; he wanted to be here for your bonding. He said it was because he wanted to support Edward." She laughed at that idea. "But I knew it was because he wanted to be here for you." I looked at her to see if she resented that he wanted to be here for me, but I found none and it surprised me.

"I know we got off on the wrong foot Bella, but I hope we can get past that. I know it will take time, good thing we will have plenty of it." With that she gracefully stood up and walked past me and gave me a soft pat on my shoulder. "Thank you again, Bella. Oh, by the way, you can call me Rose." Then in a flash she was gone and I was alone.

The rest of the night was a blur. It was filled with laughter and fun as gifts were exchanged and Emmett made too many sexual innuendos. But I loved each and every minute of it. I felt positively spoiled by the Cullen's. Alice and Rose single handedly bought me a new wardrobe; Carlisle gave me first editions by the Bronte sisters, Esme a stunning sterling silver rope necklace, Jasper a brand new iPod that was filled with playlists from everyone in the family and Emmett gave me the _Kama Sutra for Dummies_. I blushed and then threw it at him. He tried to read from it but one look from Esme and stopped. I knew I would see that book again.

Edward and I decided that we would exchange gifts privately when we were at the cottage. I knew I didn't want his family to see his gift from me, it was too personal. Plus, when Edward saw it, I knew he wouldn't want anyone else to see it.

Esme made a very scrumptious meal. I made her box up the leftovers and Carlisle promised to take some to the police station for the boys over there to eat. The whole family talked about past Christmas', building on the stories that Edward had told me. They asked me about my holidays with my mom and laughed at some of the crazy things that had happened. I was in awe over how comfortable I felt with them. It was natural and felt so right. If I ever doubted that I could fit in with these amazing people, it was obliterated right then and there.

As the evening wore on, I knew it was drawing close to when we would leave for the cottage. Everything was already there, having been brought over by Alice earlier in the day. The nerves I thought I would feel were gone. Instead it was replaced by ones of rightness. He was my mate. There was nothing to be ashamed of or nervous about. He loved me for me, just as I loved him for him.

We all helped to clean up the wrapping paper and boxes. My gifts would stay here until after the bonding was done. I received last minute tips and helpful hints from the girls, including Rose. Emmett's booming laugh could be heard as he teased Edward who looked ready to bolt. Before I knew it, Edward and I was standing on the porch, I was on his back, ready for the run to our cottage.

"Bye you guys," Emmett sing-sang. I rolled my eyes at him and stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed of course. He pretended to cry and wipe away stray imaginary tears, "Bella, you're gonna make a man out of Eddie. I am so proud."

His theatrics were less than stellar and I knew just how to shut him up. I whispered to Edward to leave when I tapped his shoulder. Looking at Emmett with a coy smile, "No worries there, Emmett. Edward is _all _man with pianists' fingers." I winked and tapped Edward's shoulder. In a flash he sped off the porch and into the night.

**A/N: Soooo.. did ya like the talk with Rose and Bella? I think they resolved things nicely.**

**Much love to everyone who read my one shot: He Shoots, She Scores...I am thinking I will expand it. Please go to my profile to check out the FUCK HAWT banner CullensTwiMistress made... hmmm Hockeyward and um...what IS under that towel?**

**Here is your special treat for being late with this update..a teeny sneak peak at Ch. 28:**

Her ass ground into my straining erection and I couldn't help the low growl that vibrated through my chest. This set off a low moan in Bella. I couldn't handle it, I needed to be closer.

**Ya like? Give me your love for this chapter...I will try and get Ch. 28 out on Wednesday! Now.. go click that review button...show me that you care!**


	29. Ch 28

**A/N: IT'S HERE! I'll make the note short as you all are chomping to get to it. Thanks for your patience as I built the foundation and characters... it means so much to me!**

**Love to CullensTwiMistress who lent me vent when I was worried and reminded me it was hot!**

**Disclaimer: I dont own Twilight.. but I do own a purple vibe that I had to use after I wrote this! You have been warned.. may ruin panties! Enjoy!**

Chapter 28

The tap on my shoulder set me off and I leapt into the night. Emmett's laughter was still echoing in my head. Of course, that was only after he had finally figured out what Bella was alluding to.

_She is going to fit in so well with us, Edward._

I wholeheartedly agreed with him. Bella was perfect; she fit in with us like she was born to belong with us. I couldn't wait until she was changed; the opportunities that lay in front of us were endless. Even better was that I wanted to explore them all with her. No longer did I feel stuck in an endless loop of high school and college. No, in conversations with Bella she opened my eyes to other possibilities we could experience.

Our run to the cottage was quick, not because I was eager for the mating to happen, which I was, but I wanted Bella out of the cold. It troubled me that she would be so close to my icy skin for such an extended period of time. I had to remind myself that Alice placed another electric blanket on the bedroom in the cottage. It was going to be fine, I wasn't going to let small worries like this ruin our time together.

Seconds later the door to the cottage was visible and I set Bella down as she unlocked the door. We both knew the lock was useless, but Esme understood that it would give Bella a sense of privacy and control. When the door was opened we were greeted by such a heartwarming sight. A roaring fire was going, a small fake Christmas tree stood in one corner of the living room, there were candles lit and twinkle lights had been strung up where the walls and ceiling met all across the room. It made the cottage feel warm, cozy and very intimate.

Neither Bella nor I said anything as we closed the door. We just soaked it all up, taking it all in. I was trying to commit everything to memory so that if Bella's memories became fuzzy after her change, I could describe everything to her in perfect detail.

After a few moments, I took Bella's hand in mine and pulled her close. A deep inhale reminded me that he scent was gone. Although it was nice that the constant burn was missing, I personally missed her unique scent of freesia and lavender. Now, she only smelled like strawberries from her shampoo.

Bella shivered next to me, reminding me that we were both still in our cold jackets. Pulling us slightly apart, I regarded my mate. Her eyes were wide and full of promise; her breathing was even, showing no fear or apprehension. Her heart was beating with a calming, regular beat. She was as ready for this as I was and that set my mind at ease.

"Let's place our gifts under the tree and take these last bags to the bedroom."

Her wide smile was blinding, she was just as excited to check out the bedroom as I was. Esme and Alice were careful in never thinking about it. It also helped that I was rarely around them to try and poke in their mind for a sneak peek.

"Sounds good," she replied and bent down to rummage in her bag and pulled out a thick but flat package. Out of my bag came a small square box. They were placed under the tree and by silent agreement we headed to the bedroom hand in hand.

Pausing before the door, I wished once again that I could see inside her head. So without her thoughts, I listened to her body, which told me she was calm. Taped to the door was an envelope with both of our names written in my mother's elegant penmanship. Bella removed it carefully and handed it to me.

"You read it. Chances are I will cry." I kissed her head as I took the envelope from her hand.

"It may not be _that _bad," teased.

Shaking her head, "It's from your mother; I _know _it will be that bad." She kissed my jaw while I opened it up.

The letter was short and very sweet, and I knew Bella would cry. Unnecessarily I cleared my throat and began to read the note.

_Dearest Edward and Bella,_

_Words can't describe how happy I am for you both. Finding one's mate is a very moving and altering experience. Enjoy this time together. It is the beginning of an eternity of memories. The connection you forge will form a lasting and unbreakable bond. Love and trust in each other and your relationship will have a true and solid foundation. We love you and are so very excited for you both. Love, Mom_

Turning towards a sniffling Bella, I was greeted with warm chocolate eyes brimming with tears. A few escaped and I wiped them away. "Ready to check out the room?"

She only nodded and I gestured for her to open the door. Taking a deep breath she turned the handle and swung the door and pushed it open wide. The sight before us made the breath she was holding in come out in a whoosh.

We both took small timid steps into the room, eyes roaming over everything, trying to take it all in. The walls were a soothing cream; there were hints of pale mint green and sea foam blue as accent colors. The bed was to the left of the door. It was a huge king size bed, wrought iron head and footboards with dark wood posts. Besides the bed were small tables with lamps that emitted soft light.

One and half walls were almost pure glass. The longer wall held a low bench that ran the length of the windows. The moon was throwing the multitude of pillows into light and shadows. A huge dresser sat behind the door and it was there that I placed our bags. Bella was standing before the half wall that was opposite of the bed. It housed French doors that opened to a small garden area.

I came up behind Bella and pulled her to me. "What do you think?" My words were just whispered, not wanting to break the intimate mood that this room created.

She turned in my arms, her fingers dancing up to my neck. "It's beautiful, it's beyond words. I can't believe that it's ours." She laid her head on my chest. There was nothing else to say, Bella had summed it up perfectly.

"Outside there is a small garden, a stone bench and what looks like a reflection pond. It should be beautiful in the spring." I knew her weak human eyes couldn't see the amazing small details that Esme put into the small area. I had no doubt that it will be as beautiful, if not more as I pictured.

"Do you want to open gifts now?" I murmured in her ear.

"Yes," she replied which was paired with a delicate blush. I wondered what that blush was for.

"Let's go, love." With her hand in mine we made our way to the tree and the fire still crackling and throwing heat into the room.

The earth toned rug in front of the fire was toasty as we sat down face to face. Bella was biting her lip in worry and I gently tugged it free of her teeth. My fingers smoothed the rough lip and I gave her a soft smile.

"It's just us tonight, no worries." My fingers trailed down her cheeks to her jaw and down her neck to her shoulders. Her entire body leaned into my touch, the tension that she held in her body melted away.

Taking a deep breath she handed me the package she had placed under the tree. It was wrapped in sparkly green and I knew it was meant for me. I quirked a brow at her and she laughed.

"Your eyes and your skin, that's what it reminded me of." I in return had to laugh; only Bella would find wrapping paper that reminded of my human eyes and my vampire skin.

With one fluid motion I had the paper off and rather generic looking box in front of me. I lifted the lid and was met with a black leather book. Gently removing it from the box I tried to figure out what it was. Looking at Bella I saw her face was filled with apprehension and expectation. She motioned with her head for me to open the book.

On the front cover was a simple sentence written in Bella's handwriting.

_While I may not have been part of your past, I can share in it. Love, Bella_

That small inscription had me curious and I flipped the first page to see that it was a photo album and it was filled with pictures. But more than that, it was pictures of Bella. My eyes were glued to the first picture of Bella in a style of dress that I remembered my mother wearing.

It was blue velvet with capped sleeves, the neckline showed just enough of her cleavage to keep it modest. The waist was tightly cinched and I wondered if she was wearing a corset. My cock rose at the thought of that and I had to calm myself down. There was satin edging, and lace at the bottom showing thru the cut-out design. Her hair was piled on her head in artful array of curls and tiny braids. She was reclining on a black lounge chair.

My fingers traced her in that dress, the soft smile and the faraway look in her eyes. In that moment I allowed myself to imagine myself courting her back when I was human and how breathtaking she would have looked in that style of clothing. Hell, the picture in front of me was proof of that. The picture on the opposite page had her in the same dress, but it was a close-up. She was posed in a manner that was befitting the early 1900's.

I looked up at her, not quite understanding the meaning of this gift. Bella's hands were clasped under her chin. Her eyes were staring at me, intently, watching my reactions, seeing the expressions on my face.

"What?" It was all I could say. My own eyes kept straying to the two pictures in front of me.

"Keep looking," she commanded.

When I turned the page, I gasped at the exquisite photo. Gone was the Victorian era dress and in its place was a gorgeous champagne colored silk dress with layers of fringe. Gone were the curls and braids and they were replaced by sleek curls bound at the nape of her neck. The other picture was another close up, again done in a vintage style.

Without being prompted, I flipped the page over and again, another era of dress and hair. This time it looked to be about the 1940's. The hemlines were raised and the dresses more fitted. The next page were the 1960's, flowery prints that were loose and comfy. Here her hair was loose adorned with a simple headband. There were styles from the 70's and 80's. The last four pages represented the 90's and the new millennium. Instead of dresses, she was dressed in things that were purely Bella; jeans, t-shirts, socks and tanks.

"It seemed so unfair that you went so long, waiting for me. So many times I wished I had been born earlier, to experience it all with you. But more importantly, I just didn't want you to be alone. But since I couldn't change how and when we met, I wanted some way to acknowledge the time you spent waiting." She paused and I tore myself away from the picture I was staring at. "Alice actually came up with the idea one day when I was thinking about this. But once she told me I was all in."

"So now, you can see me, dressed like when you were younger and imagine me there with you." Her hands turned to the empty pages I had yet to notice. "We can fill these pages with us, together. We can document our time, our lives together."

Wordlessly I crushed her to me. My eyes were swimming in venom that would never fall and my chest rumbled with sobs that would never come. How did she give me something I never knew I needed and wanted?

"Thank you," they were the only words I could utter and they did not encompass the gratitude I felt towards this amazing woman. "I love you." My lips kissed the crown of her head and I slowly worked my way to her temples, her cheeks and lastly, her sweet, warm lips. Her soft hands stroked my face, calming me. Reminding me I was never going to be alone again.

When I finally pulled away, she was breathless; her cheeks stained a stunning pink from my kisses. Her lips were swollen and she looked ravishing. Before I regretted my actions, I set the album down and reached for the small gift still under the tree. I sat it on her knee.

With trembling hands she took it and began to tear the wrapping off. What was revealed was a satin box. She hesitated for just a second and I wondered if she thought it was a ring. But before I could ponder further, I heard her gasp as she saw what lay nestled in the black satin inside. Her fingers retrieved the gift and in the firelight, the platinum charm bracelet sparkled.

"It's beautiful, Edward." Slowly she lifted each of the charms, there were five in all. She traced the E that was etched in emeralds, the sterling silver music note, the heart shaped ruby, the silver book and a B that was encrusted with diamonds.

"It represents us, doesn't it?" I knew she would figure it out. Once again my thumb found my ring, the representation of us that I wear. I wanted her to have the same thing, a way to show that she was mine.

"Yes, it's us." She held it out to me and I clasped it around her wrist. It was a perfect fit.

"Thank you," then she softly kissed my lips. A huge yawn interrupted us and we both giggled. Just like that, the intimate little bubble around us had burst. "I am so sorry," she stated as another yawn escaped.

"It's ok. It's late, no wonder you're tired. Let's get you to bed." Silently and in tandem we worked to gather the wrapping paper which we threw into the fire.

A few days ago, we had both agreed that the mating would not be started tonight. It was going to be an emotional night and we didn't want to add to it and possibly overwhelming Bella.

It took some talking and serious discussions, but eventually we both agreed. We wanted our mating to start when the focus was just us. Not on fake vacations, the holidays or anything else. We wanted it to be just about us. Looking at her tired eyes, I knew we made the right choice.

In no time, we were back in our room; I made sure the two electric blankets were turned on while Bella got ready. I changed as well, into flannel pants and a grey t-shirt. I was already in bed waiting for her when she was done in the bathroom.

"Have you seen it in there?" She motioned with her thumb towards the bathroom. I shook my head no; I was too wrapped up in the bedroom and the fantasies it inspired. "It's huge! The tub is big enough for me to swim in." She yawned once more and I tucked the blankets around her.

"We can explore it tomorrow. Sweet dreams, my angel." She barely was able to mumble her own goodnight before she was fast asleep.

I spent that night curled up next to her. My need to mate with her had been growing stronger with each passing second. Since I was delaying the bond, my need to stay near her had increased dramatically. It was during these quiet nights that I would allow myself to consider the future, a future with Bella.

I couldn't wait for her to be changed and I wanted us to talk more about the when's and how's while we had the privacy to do so. I also thought more about asking her to marry me and how crazy I felt that there was a sliver of fear that she would reject me. I thought of the places we would live and the experiences we would share. But most of all, I thought about how happy she has made me. No longer was I depressed and slogging through my life. Now, I was content, joyous and most important, I was loved.

The rest of the night I spent just cuddled up to her, luxuriating in the warmth that was her and the blanket we were under. With each passing minute and hour, I knew I wouldn't be able to put off the mating. Everything I saw heightened my need for her. My dick was in a perpetual state of hardness and only Bella could soothe me.

Images and fantasies of us together flooded my brain. Although I didn't think I could get any harder, I did. Just then Bella sought me out and ground her ass against my throbbing dick. I bit back a groan and looked at the ceiling. Of course Bella wasn't going to make it easy on me. Then she started to whimper as her hips pushed back on me. I could smell her as she grew more and more aroused.

Within seconds I fled the bed and the room. I wasn't going to wake her up to start mating. I refused. I wasn't going to make our first time something animalistic. I wanted it to be soft and gentle, I owed it to her. I knew once it started, neither of us could stop until it ran its course. There would be urges and instincts we would both need to follow. But until then, I was in control and I was determined that it was going to as perfect as I could make it.

I spent the remainder of the night on the couch reading and trying to ignore the whimpers and moans coming from the bedroom. I knew she was like this because of the mating. She was just as affected as I was. She just had the ability to escape the constant need for a few hours as she slept.

I was excited when the sun began to paint the sky with brilliant oranges and reds. Watching the sunset and rise was always bittersweet for me and I couldn't wait to share it with Bella once she was changed. I watched the horizon as it awakened for a short while and then began to make breakfast. Carlisle constantly reminded me that I would need to keep her fed. We talked about the sheer number of calories she would need to consume just to keep up her energy levels.

Within forty five minutes, I had a western omelet, fruit, toast with peanut butter and juice on a tray. The last ten minutes or so Bella's breathing was changing and telling me she would wake up soon. I wanted to get in there before she woke and saw I was gone.

As I walked in, she was just turning over. The small glimpses of her bare skin tempting me to forget all about the tray of food in my hands. Taking deep breaths to focus, I continued over to the bed. Her eyes opened just as I got to her side. Her sleepy smile dazzled me.

"Morning, beautiful." She sat up and I placed the tray over her legs. I placed a few pillows behind her back to make her more comfortable.

"Morning. This looks amazing. Is there anything you can't do?" her eyes were twinkling with delight.

I pretended to ponder her question before I gave her a smirk, "Umm, nothing comes to mind." I placed a few kisses on her head and settled down to watch her eat.

She pointed her fork at me, "I swear I will find one thing you can't do, even if it takes all of eternity. I can promise you that."

Laughing I tickled her knee, "Give it your best shot, love." She laughed and went back to her food. "Did you sleep well?"

My dick twitched at her low moan, "Oh, God did I ever. This bed is amazing. I will have to thank Esme for finding such an awesome bed." I couldn't help but be drawn into her smiles and bubble of happiness. She was my flame and I needed her like nothing else.

When she was finished I took the tray and quickly washed, dried and put away the dishes, anxious to be next to Bella. What I saw when I returned to the bedroom, stunned me. I felt the deep yearning to mate stir and there was no stopping it. It was going to happen and it was going to happen now.

Bella was standing in front of the French doors. The sunlight enhanced everything about her, the deep reds in her hair to the ethereal glow of her skin. Every molecule in my body called out to hers, there was a pull that I couldn't deny, that I _didn't _want to deny.

My arms wrapped around her and she literally melted into my body. Her heat was radiating off of her. My nose found her neck and I placed feather light kisses over every inch of exposed skin. Bella's hand wove its way into my hair, pulling me even closer. The smell of her arousal triggered me. I needed her now.

Her ass ground into my straining erection and I couldn't help the low growl that vibrated through my chest. This set off a low moan in Bella. I couldn't handle it, I needed to be closer.

"Take a bath with me," I murmured in between kisses and licks of her neck. She tasted divine and she was all fucking mine.

"Yes," was all she was able to hiss out.

"I'll get the water ready, come in when you're ready." I ground my dick into her ass and felt her shiver. We both knew what was going to happen and we were both more than ready.

In no time I was in the huge bathroom that held a shower made for two and a Jacuzzi whirlpool tub that was big enough for at least four people. It had deep seats, perfect for what I needed. I ran the water, making sure it was warm to compensate for my icy body. It was then that I noticed Esme installed one with a heating element, able to keep the temperature constant. She thought of everything.

Seconds later I was in the tub, trying to warm up my body before Bella arrived. I could hear her scurrying around and I wondered why it was taking her so long. Her elevated heart rate suggested nerves, but when she drew closer, there was no mistaking that she was highly aroused. My cock twitched at the thought of that.

My back was to the door, so I heard her come in and the whisper as a robe or some piece of clothing was dropped. My mind only computed that she was naked. My Bella was naked. All I would see would be…

She came into my line of sight and all thought stopped as I simply looked at her. There were no words, no metaphors that could do her justice. My eyes traveled the length of her body; the curve of her neck, the gentle swell of her breasts, the adorable belly button I wanted to lick, a tapered waist, the flare of her hips, the thighs I imagined wrapped around me. My nose flared as I saw the evidence of her arousal, the faintest hint of moisture on her pussy. I licked my lips, eager for a taste.

Without saying a word, I reached out my hand and helped her into the tub. I placed her on the bench opposite of me and I kneeled in front of her. Staring deep into her eyes, my heart leapt at what I saw. Her need for me was just as great; she felt the passion, the desire that coursed through us. It was almost as tangible as the electric current we felt when we touched. She hungered for the connection we had been denying.

Slowly, she tugged me closer and I responded to her automatically. This felt so right, so perfect, that there was no place for worries, doubts or fears. There was only love, trust, desire and us. Our lips met softly, gently, but soon turned desperate and needy. Her hands grabbed fistfuls of my hair, pulling me closer. My hands clutched at her, caressing her back, her sides, even her neck.

Letting her breathe I trailed kisses down her neck, to the spot behind her ear. There I nibbled and sucked until a small dimes size mark appeared. This only spurred me on, the need to take her, to claim her as mine. As my kisses rained on her body, my hands were grasping her breasts, kneading and plucking.

A low moan escaped from Bella and it only encouraged me. Her nipples were hard and taut. I rolled and pinched them, feeling her shivering response. Her hands never stopped their explorations of my back and neck, constantly holding me tight to her. She left heated kisses that felt hotter than the water on my shoulder and face.

Knowing that her first time could be painful, I wanted to make her feel good, to watch as she fell apart before we bonded. She needed pleasure before the pain. My right hand continued to lavish attention on her nipples, as my left hand stroked down her body; my thumbs rubbing, circling. I could feel Bella's nails as they scratched my chest, flicking my nipples, causing a growl to erupted deep within me.

When my hand reached her pussy, I ground the flat of my palm against her pelvic bone. Her hips involuntarily flexed, seeking the friction once more.

"Yes," was her soft plea next to my ear. Her tongue lightly flicked my lobe. My fingers continued to pluck and roll her nipples while I started to slowly tease her pussy with my fingers. Even through the water I could feel how turned on she was. The faster my fingers teased the faster she thrust her hips. Her hands held on tightly as the feelings I was coaxing from her consumed her.

Without warning I pinched her nipple and plunged one long finger deep into her pussy. Her hands yanked on my hair as she screamed out in delight. Harder and faster I pumped into her. The hand on her nipples moved to her waist and I eagerly suckled and bit her tits.

Wordless sounds and pleas fell from her lips as she continued to rock her hips in time to my thrusts. I could feel the walls of her pussy as they began their rhythmic pulsing; telling me her orgasm was fast approaching. I slipped another finger in and sped up my thrusting, slightly curling my fingers and finding that sweet spot.

"Edward…please, hmmm…yes…" was all she could tell me. Needing to see her cum I added pressure to her clit with my thumb, circling and flicking. Her cries grew louder, her pussy clenching and pulsating rapidly.

My mouth traveled from her tits, up her neck, laving wet, nipping kisses all over her chest and collarbones. My fingers kept up the assault on her pussy, thrusting, pumping. I rubbed that special place, deep inside and I felt it swell and grow.

Her head tossed from side to side, her hands gripped the edge of the tub so tightly her knuckles were white. Reaching her ear I nipped and bit then I breathed, "Let go, baby. Cum for me." I slammed my fingers in harder and harder, over and over until she finally cried out.

"Oh, God, I'm…cumming…Edw…," her eyes rolled back and her pussy gripped my fingers tightly. My thumb kept rubbing and flicking her clit as she rode her orgasm, she was magnificent. Her soundless screams ended in pants and when she opened her eyes they were glassy.

I captured her lips in a searing kiss as I removed my fingers from her pussy. I moved to sit in my seat and brought Bella with me, her breathing had even out and a sexy smile was on her face. She wrapped her arms around me, returning my kisses with fervor.

I guided her to straddle my legs and placed her over my throbbing cock. I looked to her, to see what was in her eyes. All I found was trust and love, which was all I needed. With eyes locked I lowered her gently and slowly onto my cock. Her eyes narrowed at the intrusion. When just the tip was in, I placed both of my hands on her hips, steadying her.

I wanted to warn her, to find a way to ease the pain she would feel, but all I could do was look into her eyes. She cupped my check in her small hand and leaned so that our foreheads were touching, our breaths mingling.

"I'll be fine." With that I felt her begin to lower herself and with one thrust of my hips upward, I pierced the proof of her virginity. My mouth swallowed her grunt of pain and I stilled, waiting for her to tell me she was ok. My tongue gently stroked her lips and inside her mouth. My fingers on her hip rubbed soothing circles and I fought the primal urge to thrust deep into her.

Seconds later, I felt her hips move from side to side and her hiss of pleasure. This was my cue that she was fine and I slowly raised her up and thrust back into her. She had pulled away from my mouth to rest her forehead on my shoulder, her breathy moans bathed my skin her heat.

Together we focused on the rhythmic thrusting and joining, my cock into her pussy. She was so tight, so warm; it was much more intense than ever dreamed. I ground my teeth together trying to quell the need to just fuck the daylight out of her. My fingers dug into her hips and Bella moved faster and faster.

"More, Edward," she pled. Her breathy whispers were nearly my undoing.

"I don't…want to…hurt you." I panted out. My thrust sped up fractionally, her tight pussy walls almost begging to be pounded into. She was getting wetter by the second and it was so goddamned hot and tight. Growls vibrated in my chest, I was holding on by the thinnest of threads. The need in me was growing.

She placed her steamy lips at my ear, "Let go, baby. Give it to me."

She had no fucking idea what those words meant, what they would do to me, but I was helpless to fight back my response to them. In a flash my hands gripped her shoulders and leaned her back, supporting all her weight, she was almost floating in the water. Her chestnut locks billowed out on top of the water, making her look like sexy water nymph.

Mindful of my strength, I plunged into her tight pussy, hard and fast, hitting new places that made her mouth fall open. She grabbed my forearms for something to hold onto as I pumped relentlessly. I never changed my depth or my speed; it was a constant pounding of my cock into her.

"You feel so good, baby. So tight. Can you feel it?"

"Ungh…yes, so fucking good. So hard…so full." She bit her lip, as the sensations bombarded her. "Please," she begged.

I knew what she wanted; it was the same as me. We both felt those faint stirring of our orgasms, that slow burn, that building of intensity deep in our gut. I angled Bella's pelvis and changed the angle of my thrust and she screamed out.

"Yes…there…so good. Yes, yes, Edward, please."

It was an automatic response to her plea, my hips thrust faster and faster, I was almost a blur. The water sloshed all around us but neither of us paid it any attention. We were too busy chasing that feeling, wanting to let go and fly.

"So fucking perfect. So mine! Your mine, Bella." Over and over I chanted mine, each punctuated with a deep hard thrust. Bella stopped talking and just panted and moaned, her finger tips digging into my arms. Over and over I pounded into her, that feeling so close that I wanted to reach for it now.

Bella's pussy increased its pulsing and throbbing, so much so that she seemed tighter and hotter, the friction was delicious and tormenting all at once.

"Oh…oh…" her mouth stayed open, unable to speak. She was close and I knew her orgasm would set off mine.

"Let go, love. LET. IT. GO!" Each word was a deep, fast thrust in her pussy.

"Ahhh!" She cried out as her pussy convulsed and spasm around my cock. It was almost too tight for me to thrust. With each pulse of her pussy, my orgasm grew closer until finally it was ripped from deep inside.

"Bella! Mine!" I screamed as thick streams of cum sprayed deep inside her. I kept thrusting through each spurt that erupted, feeling Bella's pussy as it pulled and milked each drop from me. When it was over, I collapsed down into the seat and pulled Bella closer.

Gently I kissed her neck, bringing her down, calming her racing and pounding heart. Loving words were whispered to each other, hands slowly stroking and caressing. I felt Bella's entire body as it melted into mine once again, this time due to exhaustion. I snuggled her close and almost wrapped my entire body around hers.

"I love you," I whispered into her hair.

"I love you, too, my mate," she replied before she fell asleep in my arms.

**A/N: Sooo.. did ya like? Hate? Love? Are you still panting? I hope it was worth the wait. Want a teaser for the next chapter? Ohh who am I kidding.. of course you do:**

Her tongue swirled in my navel and the warmth from it made me shiver in anticipation. She nuzzled the faint hair of my happy trail and nipped at my hip bones. Her hands brushed the length of my cock and I could help but moan.

**Sooo.. give it to me.. tell me what ya thought.. I am dying to know! Until next week!**


	30. Ch 29

**A/N: Sooo... you guys really liked their first time.. such naughty readers I have. I wouldn't have it any other way! You guys rocked! I was blown away by the reviews and the positive response you all had to their first time sexing. Now.. I do want to remind you.. this mating is a process..not a wham bam thank you ma'am! Sooo ya better get ready, and remember this is a no panty zone!**

**To CullensTwiMistress who put up with some awful grammar in this chapter.. I FLUV you HARD bb! I told ya you make me look better!**

**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight, but I get to make Edward and Bella live out my naughty fantasies! ENJOY!**

Chapter 29

Simply staring at my girl was awe inspiring, replaying what had just transpired, even more so. There were so many feelings coursing through me that I was happy for the time to sort through them all. But the vision before me captured my full attention. The way her hair looked curly as it dried from the bath, or the soft rise and fall of her chest, her lips, pouty and perfect.

I could still smell my essence as it lay inside her and it stirred some long forgotten inner caveman. I wanted to shout that she was mine and piss in a circle around her. Knowing that she would only be mine, that I would be the only one to touch her pussy, it excited me like nothing else.

The perpetual seventeen year old boy was floored that I finally got laid. No longer was I the hundred year old virgin, I wanted to strut my shit in school and tell everyone I had sex. Plus, I couldn't wait to do it again and every fantasy and position I had been privy to over the last decade played out in my head. I had so many lists and ideas floating around; I was surprised that I was allowing Bella to sleep.

But it was the mated vampire in me that was throwing me into a tailspin. I was so blown away by the intensity and mix of feelings I had for Bella, I doubted even Jasper could help me. I felt the stirring of the bond, that it was far from finished. But now that we had made love, I felt even more connected to this fragile angel.

My eyes drank in everything about her. She encompassed so many things to me. She was my best friend, my girlfriend, my mate, my lover, and one day I'll add wife to that list. That I could guarantee with absolute certainty. But there was more between us, and I struggled with naming it. Whatever I was feeling, it was new. It was like when I woke up from my transformation with heightened senses. It was the same feeling, everything was sharper, clearer. It was like I could breathe easier, my mind was focused. It was like I was…healed.

That word bounced all through me. Healed…_healed_…it rolled off my tongue easily. I savored it, letting it invade all of my senses. Just then, a thought so overwhelming and earth shattering, that if I wasn't lying down I would have fallen over from the life altering epiphany I just had. I was broken before Bella, living just half of a life, I was incomplete, I was missing my other half. I was missing my soul mate. Bella was…no _is _my soul mate. She had made me whole, she was my complete other half. Suddenly all the pain and waiting I had to endure was worth it, because it meant at the end I got Bella.

With that realization there was a sense of peace and utter contentment that I had never known. I had a place, a purpose in this life. There was a reason why Carlisle came to Chicago and made me a vampire. It was all part of my journey to find the missing piece of my soul. I closed my eyes, letting this new knowledge settle into me, transforming me, washing away all the old fears, worries, and problems, it erased the anger and bitterness I held onto for so long. When I opened my eyes, I felt fresh, reborn and it was amazing.

"What's that smile for?" Bella's sleepy voice actually startled me and she laughed when I jumped at the sound of her voice.

I rolled on my side to face her, smiling. My hand cupped her face while my thumb softly stroked her cheeks. I wasn't sure if I could put into words what had been happening inside my head and heart, but I wanted to share my revelation with her seeing as she was the cause of it.

I felt myself being pulled into her deep brown eyes, seeing her love for me. "I just realized how happy and complete you make me. You are truly my other half, my soul mate."

Her eyes grew watery with unshed tears as she placed her hand over my silent heart. "You are my very soul, heart and spirit."

Together we moved forward, meeting in a sweet kiss, soft little pecks and swipes of tongue. Our eyes were locked on each other, seeing the passion and the connection grow and strengthen. It was then that I knew when our mating was over, we would be so very strong. Our love would be solid and true. Never would we have to be alone, we would walk our journey together.

With huge effort, I broke from our kiss. "If you're hungry, I brought you a snack." I gestured to the bedside table next to her. I had brought it in after I laid her down, remembering Carlisle's words to keep her fed. She turned to eye the banana, granola bar and bottle of Gatorade.

She smiled when saw my selection and dived for the fruit, "I'm starving." She peeled the banana quickly and bit off about a third of it. Watching her eat had always been fascinating to me, add to it a phallic looking fruit and well, it just now got sexy. She handed me the bottle of Gatorade to open for her as she finished off the fruit. She gulped about a quarter of the drink and closed her eyes in satiation.

"I guess you were hungry," I joked, making her laugh while nodding. In silence, I allow her to work on the small granola bar. With the quickness that she consumed that snack, I knew she would have to eat more at meals. She was going to burn more calories than she was taking in and she was already too small.

"Feeling better," I asked when she set the granola wrapper on the table.

She nodded, "Very much so, thanks for thinking of me." She placed a chaste kiss on my cheek.

I shrugged, "It was Carlisle's advice, he said to keep you fed and hydrated. You're going to be burning lots of calories." She blushed deliciously and I stifled a giggle in case that pissed her off. But since I had brought up our mating, "How are you feeling? Everything okay, you're not too sore?" I smothered the intense desire to perform an actual physical exam on her.

Her blush deepened as she ponders my questions, biting her lip as her eyes stay glued to the small pattern on the bedspread. "Um, I feel good. Not too sore, actually."

If I wasn't so attuned to her, I would have missed the subtle shifting in her hips. I wondered…

"Should I be sore?" Her question stopped my train of thought as I gave her my undivided attention.

I smiled at her question, "It's not uncommon," I replied, setting her at ease. "I just want to make sure that you are not feeling uncomfortable and that I didn't hurt you." There it was again, a shift of her hips. I looked at her and saw that her eyes were slightly lidded and they kept darting to my dick. Unconsciously, she began to lick her lips.

"I feel fine," she almost moaned out and then blushed.

The thought that she was having her mating urge made me rock hard. But I wondered if she was too embarrassed to follow it through. Knowing she may need reassurance, I scooted closer to her. Her eyes snapped to mine and I could see it written all over her face, there was something she wanted. I kissed her lips, softly, nibbling on her plump upper lip before I trailed kisses across her cheek to her ear.

Her hands had gripped my shoulders again, this time kneading and caressing the length from elbow to shoulder. It felt amazing, small bursts of heat and desire coursed through me. My hands found her hair and I ran them through soothingly.

"Just go with it, love. Our mating has started." Just like that, a switch was flipped and Bella was all over me. Not that I was going to complain.

She practically jumped into my lap and crushed her lips to mine. It was her tongue that begged for entrance and I let her in. Her hands were constantly moving, stroking, lightly scratching, exploring. My hands curled into her hair to keep her close to me. We continued to rain kisses on noses, cheek, jaws. We nipped at ears, throats and shoulders. Bella's desire was rolling off of her and I was caught in the waves.

She pulled at my arms to leave her hair and I complied. I needed follow her lead. She trailed kisses down to my chest. She became fascinated with my nipples. She nipped and sucked at them, which drew low hisses from me. When she bit them I couldn't stop the groan if I wanted to.

"Oh, God, Bella. That feels fucking fantastic." Her small giggle at my exclamation made me smile. She kept kissing all over my chest, not letting that giggle break her stride.

It wasn't until she was at my navel that it finally dawned on me what was on her mind. It was one of only a few things we had yet to try and I had to admit, I was nervous. But if I could handle making love to her, I could handle what I was hoping would happen.

Her tongue swirled in my navel and the warmth from it made me shiver in anticipation. She nuzzled the faint hair of my happy trail and nipped at my hip bones. Her hands brushed the length of my cock and I could help but moan. Whether she was bolstered by my reactions or she finally gave in to the urge, she grew less hesitant and bolder.

Her hands kept stroking and rubbing my cock as her tongue licked a path from hip to hip. I fisted the blanket that we were on, trying to keep my hands from guiding her straight to my aching cock. She kept up the teasing, making my hips thrust involuntarily.

"You're killing me, Bella." I panted out.

Just then her soft, warm hands slipped under the waistband of my cotton sleep pants.

"Fuuuckk!" I hissed. The sensation was bordering on painful; I was so hard and throbbing.

In a move that would rival a vampire, Bella was tugging my pants and my boxers down and I hastily helped her get them off. She tossed my clothes behind her not caring where they landed as her eyes zeroed in on my cock. Her eyes were full of lust and need; she licked her lips and whimpered.

Her hands were on my knees and she scraped her nails lightly as they traveled higher and higher. She never took her eyes off my cock as it bobbed and twitched letting her know it wanted her as much as she wanted it.

"Beautiful," she whispered and I felt her hands as they brushed my balls. "Soft and silky," she commented as they are being rolled in her tiny hands.

I arch into her, the sensations just washing over me. I want to watch but all I can do is feel. She was so gentle and warm. I could sense her curiosity as she explored and played. My hands dug into the blanket and barely register faint tearing sounds, but I payed it no attention. When her hands reached the base of my leaky cock she wasted no time licking up the moisture.

"Oh, shit, Bella." It felt as warm and wet as her pussy. My entire body felt like one live wire, I felt every movement, every shift, every touch and its magnified tenfold.

"Hmmm," she hummed appreciatively at the taste of my pre-cum.

"So fucking sweet," she murmured and then she licked her fucking lips. I groaned at the sight.

Without warning she plunged all the way down causing me to howl from the overload of sensations. Not pausing, Bella began to suck my cock like her life depended on it. She bobbed fast and hard then changed it to soft and slow. All I could do was simply feel what was happening. It was so wet and warm. Her mouth created the perfect amount of suction and pressure.

"Oh, God. More, Bella, more." My breaths were nothing more than pants and I forced myself to watch the sexy as fuck Bella as she blew me. When her hair kept creating a curtain, I gathered it all in my hands and held it up. I could feel her movements under my hand.

Her tongue began to swirl at the head, flicking my slit. On the upstroke she would alternate using her teeth and licking the thick vein on the underside. On the down stroke she hallowed out her cheeks creating such delicious friction I wanted to thrust deep down her throat.

I could feel that familiar coil begin to build deep in my stomach, the tightening, the tingling that radiated out. Bella was like a woman possessed; she hummed and moaned all around my cock, sending vibrations throughout my body. The more she moaned the more I leaked which caused her to moan even more. It was fucking hot cycle that would only result in my blowing a load down her throat. Of course that led me to hoping she would swallow.

So lost in the sensations around my cock, I was startled when I felt one of her hands back on my balls. This time she was more firm and forceful with ministrations. She tugged and rolled them and I could feel as they began to tighten. I had no clue where she learned to suck cock, but I was so fucking thankful that she did it well.

So close was my orgasm, that my hips started thrusting on their accord. I worried that I would cause her to gag, but Bella seemed to be without a gag reflex which just turned me on even more. She was sucking harder and faster and she added her free hand to the mix and I knew I would be a goner in just a few moments.

The tingling was intensifying, the coil in my gut grew tighter and expanded. I could feel the sensation of my orgasm as it pulled itself from deep within me.

"So…fucking…close," was all I could pant out. I was transfixed on the sight of Bella and as she came back up, scraping her teeth hard, I couldn't stop from erupting.

"Oh…shi…cumm…ahh." was all I managed to scream out before long streams of cum pumped down her throat. Bella kept working my cock and swallowing each stream, her hums and moans extended my orgasm and I was locked in a silent scream of pleasure.

What seemed like hours but in reality only a few minutes, I finally came down from my blow job high. Bella was snuggled up next to me with a satisfied smirk as she licked her lips. The wild passion and need I saw earlier was gone having satisfied her mating urge. I could smell me on her and the inner caveman in me rejoiced.

Bending down I lifted her chin up and gently kissed her lips. I could taste me on her lips and I liked how we tasted all mingled together. Just as I was pulling away, Bella's stomach growled loudly, letting it be known that jizz was not an acceptable lunch substitution. We laughed and wordlessly, got dressed and headed out to the kitchen.

"What are you hungry for, my love? I can cook for you." I moved to open the fridge to see what I could whip together. She hip checked me out of the way.

"Make a fire for me, turn on some music and I'll make my own lunch." That was an acceptable trade off, so I went to do her bidding.

There was wood in the box next to the fire place. Placing a few logs on the low fire burning, the fire sprang to life once more. Soon its heat was filling the cozy living space. I connected my iPod to the stereo system that Esme installed, picked a play list and soon the sounds of jazz filled the air.

Seeing the photo album laying under the tree, I snatched it up and began to study the pictures in earnest. Out of all of them, the Victorian era one was my favorite. It made it easy to picture her in 1918 Chicago. I could imagine dancing with her at one of the many socials that were common back then. I hardly went as I wasn't interested in that, but the war I was so close to joining.

Bella came to sit beside me as I sat looking at the picture. My fingers once again traced the curves that were accentuated by the form-fitting dress she wore. I couldn't help the smile that formed.

"You really like that one, don't you?" Bella asked me softly. I turned towards her and smiled.

"Yea, it's beautiful. You look amazing in that dress." We both stared at the photo in silence, lost in our thoughts.

"Tell me a memory from that time. In fact, tell me one for each picture." I looked at her, trying to understand her motivation. What I saw was acceptance and a desire to share in my life. That was the whole point of the photos; it was her way of sharing in my past.

Looking at the huge salad she had made which she barely touched, "You eat and I'll talk." She nodded and stuffed a forkful of the salad into her mouth. She turned an expectant look at me and I began.

I told her the clearest memory I had of both of my parents; it was the year before we all fell ill. She listened with rapt attention, smiling in all the right places. It was refreshing to share it with her, that I was no longer burdened with the memories, that they could be shared and appreciated by someone other than myself.

She asked questions about different things from that time period; my favorite music, what I found attractive, favorite book. She even asked if I remember having a favorite food, she laughed when I told her it was my mother's homemade sweet rolls. I tried to tickle out of her why she laughed, but she refused to spill.

Over the next few hours, I told her stories. With each turn of the page, I picked a new memory that corresponded to the era represented. Even though those memories were easily remembered due to the nature of a vampires mind, I found that I struggled more to find something positive. I realized once again how lonely and lost I was for so many years. But it was worth it, because at the end of it all, I got Bella.

So I tell her about the jazz clubs I loved to frequent in the 1930's. She asked me questions about being a vampire during WWII. I told her to talk to Jasper about his take on it, as he had some unique and very opinionated views. I reminisce about the sock hop Alice dragged us all to in 1952. I was glad I couldn't blush when she asked me if I could dance like they did back then. When I nodded yes, she of course asked me to teach her and I am no longer embarrassed by my dancing knowledge.

She got more animated as we talked about the 60's and 70's, as we focused on the music and the concerts I attended. When we got to the 80's and beyond, we both talked about things we liked and experienced. It was nice to ask her more about her mother and what it was like growing up with Renee.

While making her dinner, we moved onto talking about the movies I had seen in the theatres when they came out the first time. She was surprised when I told her I went to see Casablanca twelve times after it was released.

But what shocked me most, was how compatible we were. Not that I didn't know it before. But more that I realized that she was an old soul, and that while she was born almost ninety years after I was changed, we shared similar tastes, likes and dislikes. She would have fit in perfectly with the era I grew up in. I also knew that had we met when I was human, we would have fallen in love just as hard.

Night had fallen and inside the cottage we had just the twinkle lights and fire to illuminate the room. It set everything in a soft glow. Bella and I were lying by the fire; my hand was running through her hair, while one of hers made random patterns on my chest. She was laying against me as she read out loud from one of the books Carlisle gave to her.

Her voice was silk and honey; soft and sweet. If I was a human, I was sure I would have fallen asleep to the sound of her melodious voice. I closed my eyes, letting everything wash over me, the warmth of the fire, the sound of her voice, the soothing feel of her hands, the soft waves of her hair. I was content and it was a heady feeling.

It was refreshing to feel so at ease with myself and where I was in the world. Far too long I was fighting and barely tolerating my existence. But with Bella, everything had changed; she had changed it for the infinite better. I would spend eternity showing her my gratitude and appreciation.

I buried my face in her hair, noticing how the fire had enhanced her strawberry scented hair. Instantly my cock was hard and I wanted her, needed her something fierce. I closed my eyes, trying to get a handle on the wave of desire. I was worried that she was still sore and how she would handle having sex again. Yet, the more I focused and concentrated on the urge, I began to realize just what I wanted.

The inner teen boy was getting excited, he longed to come out and play. So, I decided I would let him take the reins. Which of course meant cocky Edward was out for some fun. I snatched Bella's book and placed it on the couch above me and moved her beneath me. Her eyes went wide, I gave her a smirk and then she smiled.

"Need you, baby." Even I could hear the husky tone in my voice. Without giving her much time to process I began kissing her and pulling her shirt up. When it was off, I hastily made my way down her chest. Her nipples were erect, creating little peaks in her bra. I placed a wet open moth kiss on one while I fondled the other. Her back arched and she placed her hands on my shoulders.

Her moans filled the air and it spurred me on. I took advantage of her arched back and flicked the clasp on her bra, it loosened and I quickly discarded it. The firelight danced across her skin, bathing it in an amber glow.

"So beautiful," I murmured before I captured a stiffened nipple with my mouth.

I heard Bella hiss in appreciation as she arched her body closer to me and my mouth. While my tongue was busy with her tits, one of my hands wondered down to her hips and the waist of her yoga pants. My fingers glided teasingly along the edge. She buried her fingers in my hair and yanked me close. My mouth followed the same path as my fingers and she began to whimper.

Being so close to her pussy I could smell her arousal. Her entire body was moving and shifting, my ministrations had turned her on. Of course I had been hard as a rock since the beginning. The heat of the fire enhanced the fragrant aroma of her pussy and I felt like a man starved. I needed her pussy, I hungered for it.

Giving Bella no chance to voice her dissent, I quickly ripped off her pants and panties and she laid there in all of her naked glory. I swear my mouth was salivating at the sight of her glistening pussy. With no barriers of clothing, her aroma wafted unheeded throughout the room.

Like a man possess I dove, literally dove at her pussy. I splayed her legs wide and licked and sucked at her outer lips. My nose nudged her clit which caused Bella to moan above me. Her wetness seeped out of her, telling me how much she enjoyed what I was doing.

I licked every inch of that pretty pussy, tasting her, feeding off of her juices. My tongue flicked her clit mercilessly. Bella gripped onto my hair smashing my face even closer. I was never more grateful that I didn't need to breathe. I nibbled at the tender flesh; I spread her lips open and fucked her with my tongue. More and more juices poured out of her.

Bella's moans turned into pants which turned into mumbled words and phrases.

"More…ahhhh….yes. Fuck…please." Her back arched off the rug and she jammed my face even tighter towards her dripping pussy.

I added a single lone finger deep inside and fucked her fast while my lips and tongue paid homage to her clit which had swelled up to huge proportions. I curled my finger towards the front of her pussy, feeling for that small spongy spot which was also swelling. I rubbed it hard and fast to which Bella screamed out her orgasm. My mouth and face were flooded by her juices. She tasted so fucking good. My finger slowed its pace but my tongue continued to lap up her wetness.

When she came down from her high, I still hadn't enough. My urge was to be bathed in her, I wanted to be covered in her essence; I wanted to smell like her. Knowing her clit would be sensitive, I cleaned every inch of her wet pussy. I could still see the small spasms as her pussy calmed down as well. Above me Bella was still panting.

The sight of her pussy before me was a thing of beauty. The mating urge in me commanded me to posses, to consume it and Bella herself. So once more I headed back in. This time I catalogued every whimper, every moan my actions wrung from Bella. I knew where she would scream in delight as I suckled, or panted for more when I licked.

Over the next several minutes, I worked Bella over, higher and closer to her orgasm I would bring her only to bring her back from the edge. Her pussy was leaked continuously, the sweet taste of her muskiness coated my tongue and chin; I was in heaven. A fine sheen of sweat coated her body and it was painted with a becoming shade of pink. Once more my tongue and finger pushed her to the edge of falling apart and this time I didn't stop.

I flicked my tongue on her stiff clit and her moans and whimpers only grew louder and louder. My fingers were thrusting easily due to her copious juices. A small wet area was forming on the rug underneath her. With one last swipe of my tongue on her clit, I bit down softly and watched as Bella fell apart once more. Groaning, I sucked and drank up the juices that gushed out of her.

Not wanting Bella to dehydrate, I passed her the bottle of juice that was drinking from earlier. I could feel that I still wasn't done, but I knew Bella needed a break. As she gulped down her juice, I went back to cleaning up her thighs and her swollen pussy lips. With much tenderness and gentleness, I had licked every trace I could find of her juices.

Over the next hour I continued to suck and fuck that beautiful pussy with my tongue, lips and fingers. I brought her to five more orgasms. Each cry of ecstasy and pleasure I coaxed out her only fueled my mating urge. When all was said and done, Bella was a sweaty, panting, but highly sated woman. And me, my urge had run its course and my face was dripping with her juices as I made her squirt that last orgasm. I knew without a doubt I would do this again.

**A/N: Soo ya still with me or are ya a bit out of breath? LOL**

**Hey.. I would like to let ya know that CullensTwiMistress and I wrote an entry into the PickYourPic Contest.. voting opens on Oct. 10. Check out the entries and then when voting opens... go and vote for your favorite. You can find the entries here: http:/www dot fanfiction dot net/~PickYourPicContest just take out the dot and insert a real one!**

**OK.. sooo so me the love.. did ya like it! Do you want more! See ya next week!**


	31. Ch 30

**A/N: Soo.. are my readers still with me? You seem to like this little nest of sex Bella and Edward have going on! Thanks for all the reviews... it means the world to me. I love responding to them! For my anon reviewers and those that don't enable their PM's... THANKS for all your kind words.**

**Much love to CullensTwiMistress- she liked this chapter and she helped make it shine.. and in her words.. this shit is hot! Fluv you hard baby!**

**I don't own Twilight, but I do own one pair of destroyed panties after writing this- so you may want to forgo yours! You have been warned! ENJOY!**

Chapter 30

She looked like an angel when she slept. So perfect, so fragile, so real. Even better, she was mine. Once again I pondered what I did to deserve such a glorious mate. Her mouth opened slightly as she began to snore. I was tempted to record her so she would once and for all, know that I was right when I told her that she snored. But I knew if I recorded her, she would be embarrassed. Instead I imprinted the way she slept into my memory. The way her hair spilled all around her, the slight pout to her lips, the way she snuggled under the covers and even her adorable little snore.

Suddenly, I was hit with the urge to document this fleeting human experience. While I will always be able to recall this moment with precise accuracy, she won't when she is turned. So I grabbed the camera that was packed in our bags and began to snap pictures of her.

I started with wide, sweeping shots and with each successive series of shots I inched closer and closer. When I was up close and personal, I took close ups of things that fascinated me; her lips, the way her eyelashes laid on her cheeks and her hands as they curled into the blanket. I took profile shots, using the light and shadows in the room to enhance and highlight her natural beauty. She was exquisite.

As I looked over the over abundance of photos I took, I felt the need for mating deep in my gut. My eyes moved from the pictures on the camera to the real Bella sleeping in the bed. Back and forth I went, the desire and want for her expanding and growing.

As if another force was making me move, I inched the blanket down her body and I was mesmerized by the sheer beauty I saw. My mouth watered at the idea of being within her warm, wet heat. My eyes drank in the sight of her legs; they were bare as she slept in one of my t-shirts. It had ridden up to the tops of her thighs. Slowly and so gently I kissed all the exposed flesh I could reach, the tops of her toes, her ankle bone, her calves, and even her knobby knees.

With each kiss I drew closer and closer to her covered pussy and I could smell her arousal as it began to grow. My hands pushed the shirt up higher, past the tops of her thighs and up towards her breasts. I continued my assault on her flesh with kisses; they grew in intensity the higher I moved. The urge to fuck her was heady, it clouded my brain.

My hands snuck under her shirt to her breasts and I softly began to knead them. I watched Bella to see if she would wake up, hoping my ministrations would cause her to wake. If not, I wasn't above waking her myself so I could fuck her. And I knew that is what I wanted. We had done tender, but I needed to fuck her. It was something deep in me, she was my mate; I needed to claim her as such.

Slowly I rolled her nipples between my thumb and forefingers, adding more pressure as I went along and every so often I would give them a tug. While my hands were busy, my tongue was busy feasting on all the exposed flesh. I nibbled and sucked, I licked and plucked. She tasted divine and I wanted more of her.

The hands that were on her breasts traveled north to her collarbones, stroking, caressing softly. The urge in me was too much and I feared if I left it unchecked that I would end up being too rough. No matter the successes we had achieved, I must always be mindful of my strength.

My mouth also went north and ended up at her ear, flicking it lightly I attempted to wake her up.

"Bella, my love. Wake up." My nose nuzzled the sweet slope of her neck, inhaling her warmth. Giving her a gentle shake, I whispered once again into her ear, "Wake up, Bella. I need you, I _want _you."

My caresses and kisses grew harder, more purposeful, more demanding. Her eyes fluttered open when I suckled a puckered nipple in to my mouth. Her mouth made a perfect little O as her eyes rolled back into her head. Knowing I had her full attention, I dialed everything up a notch.

My hands went to work in getting rid of her clothes, feeling such a need for her I simply tore them off. Bella gasped and moaned in the same breath and it only spurred me on. When she was naked, I shredded my clothes as well, not wanting to take the time to take them off. My mouth attacked her skin while my hands plucked and pulled on her hardened nipples. Her hands pulled on my hair, while whimpers and sighs tumbled from her lips.

"I need you, Bella. So fucking much." My lips attacked hers, needing to taste her, to feel her.

"I am here, baby. Take me." Those words set me on fire.

I could smell her arousal, but I wanted her dripping for me. Without warning I slammed one finger deep inside her tight pussy. Bella screamed in delight at the intrusion. I continued to piston in and out at a furious pace, Bella's whimpers of pleasure were heady and intoxicating. I alone could do this to her, I was the one who made her feel good.

The more I thrust into her, the wetter she got and it drove me wild. When I felt the slight tremor of her pussy alerting me to the beginnings of her orgasm, I pulled out and then thrust my hard cock deep inside her in one deep motion.

"Oh shit. Fuck that feels so good," she screamed and I had to pause and find some semblance of control. The flutters of her pussy were going to drive me mad.

"Please, baby." Her plea was breathy and hot on my ear. It was also my undoing.

Gripping her hips and praying that I didn't bruise her, I flexed my hips and thrust deep and hard. Her tight pussy gripped me even tighter and I moaned at the feeling. The orgasm that Bella was on the cusp of was growing in intensity. I could feel the flutters and pulses the entire length of my cock. Deeper and harder I thrust, savoring each ridge and contour of her wet pussy.

Relentlessly I pounded into her, rolling my hips with every stroke deep inside her heat. Bella had scrunched her eyes closed, so lost in the sensations she could only grunt with each of my thrusts. Her orgasm was speeding up and I knew she would fall over quickly.

I latched onto a bouncing nipple and sucked hard. This was all that it took for Bella to fall over that edge of orgasmic bliss. I could feel her juices as they coated my cock, making it easier for me to thrust harder and deeper.

"Oh…. Yes… cumming… EDWARD!" She screamed as her eyes rolled into the back of her head. Hearing my name fall from her lips, I was invincible.

My thrusts continued, even through her orgasm, I felt each and every single pulse and throb of her pussy walls. When Bella's eyes opened, they were so light and full of love. A breathtaking smile spread across her face and I nuzzled her cheek. I slowed my thrusts, knowing she may be sensitive, but knowing I was far from done.

My lips began to kiss her sweaty body, licking up the stray drops of sweat as it traveled down her chest, while my hips gently rolled and pumped her pussy. Bella hands wandered down my chest, to my nipples she scratched her nails over them, causing me to shiver in response.

"So perfect," she murmured. Her hands traced the lines of my abdominal muscles before journeying back to my neck. The feel of her hands as they threaded through my hair was so comforting.

Seeing that Bella had recovered from her orgasm, I decided to kick things back up. I sat back on my heels, dragging Bella's lower half up onto my thighs, her shoulders and head the only thing touching the bed. I knew I would be hitting so much deeper this way. Bella eyes widened when she took in the new position. But once she felt me stroke deep inside her, she couldn't contain the shivers that coursed through her body.

"You feel so good, baby." I punctuated each word with a deep hard thrust. I never knew it would feel so good this way. I tried to keep my thrusting slow and steady. But the urge that pulsed through me was demanding that it get its way.

The new position caused a new flood of Bella's juices to flow. Knowing that what I was doing made her feel good empowered me. Couple that with a sense of power and the need to make Bella mine; I felt possessed.

Gradually I increased my thrusts and the depth. The heat of her pussy scorched me and I could feel its warmth infusing into my body. Bella breathy pants and subtle thrusts of her hips spurred the inner cave man to claim.

Giving Bella no warning, I pulled back until just the head of my dick was barely hanging onto her wet pussy and slammed back in, hard and fast. I pulled out once more and did it again.

"Oh, fuck, Edward," her eyes closed as her body moved with the force of my thrusts.

"So hot and tight," I panted. Over and over I pulled almost all the way our before slamming back in. I could feel the slithering of my orgasm from my toes. It was pulsing and growing as it moved up my body. Needing to feel Bella even more I made my thrust short and shallow then hard and deep. The cycle continued in what seemed like an endless loop. Short, shallow followed by deep and hard. Bella gave up on words and all that left her lips were gasps of air in time to my pounding.

My orgasm was rolling deep in my belly. It was swirling and vibrating. My hips sped up their movements, Bella's body was arched and meeting each of my thrusts. Her body was again coated in a fine sheen of sweat and the smell of sex was heavy in the air. My fingers gripped her waist convulsively, loving the feel of her silky skin.

Harder and faster I moved to the point where my movements were nothing but a blur. I could feel the push and pull of my orgasm. I closed my eyes in fierce concentration and I gave myself over to the sensations of her warm, wet and tight pussy.

"Bella… so, close. So fucking good…" my breaths were also coming in short pants, shivers traveling up and down my spine. The precipice of my orgasm loomed in front of me.

"Please…ohhh…" Bella's head thrashed from side to side as her pussy spasm and rippled along my cock. Her orgasm was seconds from exploding out of her and I deepened my thrusts to send her over.

"Come for me, baby."

"Ahh… EDWARD!" She screamed again as her entire body froze with the force of her orgasm. Her pussy locked down on my cock like a vice and it triggered my own response.

The intensity in my gut spiraled and I felt it as it tingled up and down my spine. A few final pumps and my own orgasm roared through me.

"BELLA! MINE!" Deep in her pussy I came; each pulse of my orgasm being jerked out of me. My head fell forward and I rested my head on her belly. Bella's hands slowly stroked my hair. I could feel the rapid beating of her heart and the air as is whooshed in and out of her lungs.

Slowly I pulled out of Bella and lay besides her, cooling her overheated body with mine. Her hands never stopped running through my hair.

"Feeling better, baby," she asked with a smirk and then a huge yawn.

Laughing, I replied, "Yes, much. Thank you." Lightly, I kissed her nose. "Sleep love." Her eyes fluttered closed and within minutes her breathing had evened out and she was back asleep.

Although I was loathed to do it, I took a shower and washed away the physical traces of our love making. The teen in me snickered. _It was more like fucking, dude. _The wide smile that I sported couldn't be contained and so I let it fly. Whatever you call it, it was fantastic. We were fantastic together.

When I was redressed I made my way out of our room and into the kitchen. Feeling the urge to pamper Bella, I took both a steak and a chicken breast out. One could be for her lunch the other for dinner. I placed both of them in their own marinades. Then I whipped up a spinach salad and a homemade dressing. They chilled in the fridge.

With Bella still sleeping, I went to the table that looked outside and began to journal our time here so far. My journals had always been my way to process my emotions and feelings. It was the one place I could lay bare my fears, needs and insecurities. It was a cathartic feeling to purge myself of the dark thoughts that plagued me.

But since Bella came into my life and especially after she agreed to be changed, I had been using it to document our relationship. From the moment I saw her up to now, I was recording every moment. My fear was that she wouldn't be able to remember certain things, and how that may upset her. So this was my way to give her back our first moments. I was very detailed in my entries. Making note of every little detail, in the hopes when she reads it, a memory would be triggered.

I hadn't written since we been here and I wanted to get it all down. The time we were spending here in our mating was precious and sacred to me. So I spent the next hour or so detailing our first two days. Every kiss, every look, every detail imprinted in my brain was painstakingly recorded. My body was enjoying the reliving of all our intimate moments and I had to remind myself that Bella may be too sore. As long as it wasn't a mating urge I could show some restraint.

My concentration was broken by the sound of Bella waking up and going to take a shower. I heated the oven up and when it was pre-heated, I slid the chicken breast in to bake. I began the recipe for mushroom rice and cut up a few pieces of French bread.

When Bella came out to the kitchen, she was freshly scrubbed, her hair was still damp and she positively glowed. Her face split into a huge smile and I opened my arms wide. Without saying a word, Bella stepped into my arms and we hugged each other close. The sweet smell of her strawberry scented shampoo and the vanilla body wash crashed over me and I inhaled deeply.

Pulling away I looked at her, "Hungry, love? I made you lunch." I led her to the kitchen table and motioned for her to sit where I had set the table for her.

I quickly plated the chicken, rice, salad and bread. I brought her a bottle of water and glass of milk. When the plate was placed before her, she closed her eyes and inhaled. Soft hums escaped.

"Smells delicious. I still think it's so wrong that a vampire can cook." She shook her head at the absurd thought and let loose a soft chuckle.

I laughed with her, because it was a rather silly notion. "Only for you, love. Eat."

I gestured towards her plate and she dug in without further encouragement. For a few moments I watched as she tasted and savored each bite. She didn't inhale her food, she enjoyed it. Seeing that I could take care of her needs and be good at it, it made my heart swell with feelings of pride and accomplishment.

After she had eaten for a few moments I went back to my journaling and let her eat in peace. I knew it made her self-conscious when I would watch her eat. After several minutes the only sounds were the scratch of my pen along the paper and the clanging of Bella's silverware against her plate. I was so engrossed in my journaling that the sound of Bella's voice took me by surprise once again.

"I didn't know that you kept a journal. What are you writing about if I may ask?" I looked up from my book to see such an inquisitive look on Bella's face. It amazed me how she took such interest in me, in my life. It was just another way that I felt her love.

"I've kept a journal for most of my existence, even when I was human. Have you ever kept a journal or diary?" My question made me realize there was so much more about Bella that I didn't know about her, but even more, that I couldn't wait to learn.

She shook her head as she finished chewing before she spoke, "No, not really. I never felt I had much to say. My life has been pretty simple. Why do you keep one? With your vampire memory I would think a journal would be redundant."

I smiled, "You would be correct. However, I don't keep it to remember, I do it to process my thoughts." The perplexed look on her face told me that she wasn't following me. So I continued. "I found that journaling helps me to make sense of the millions of chaotic thoughts in my head. It's a place where I can write everything out and make sense of it all. It really helped during those dark days." I took a stuttering breath, after all this time it still wasn't easy to discuss those years.

Looking at Bella I didn't see pity, just love and support. Not wanting to dwell on dark issues during a time of love and connection, I kept talking. "But, lately I haven't been journaling to sort things out, but for you."

Bella's eyes widened in surprise, "For me?" There were other questions in her eyes, I could see it.

"Yea, for you. I have been documenting our time together so that when you are changed you have things to help you retain your memories."

I never had time to finish before Bella launched herself at me smothering my face with hot, wet kisses.

"That," _kiss _"is," _kiss_ "so," _kiss_ "sweet!" When I tried to open my mouth to reply her tongue forced its way in and with a groan I deepened the kiss. Our tongues danced and moved with wild abandon. Her hands were everywhere, in my hair, on my back, on my chest, even on my face.

When she pulled away to gasp for air, her eyes were lidded and full of lust. She licked her lips as she appraised me. The hand that was in my hair gripped even tighter and one lone finger traced my lips. With rapt attention she stared at her finger, mesmerized by it. I could feel her pulse quicken under my hands, her heart was pounding out a furious rhythm.

She scooted off my lap, but still kept a tight hold on my hair, pulling me along with her. I suspected that she was having a bonding urge and followed her along to see what she would do. She brought us back over to the fire, and I could feel the warmth spreading over me. I ached to touch Bella, but she was so poised, confident, sexy even, that I was afraid my touch would break the spell of the moment.

Wordlessly she let go of me only to start undressing me. Her eyes were glued to her hands and with each section of my flesh that was exposed, her nostrils would flare and she would lick her lips. The tips of her fingers softly traced my chest as she pushed my shirt off me. She swallowed audibly and her breath came out in little pants.

"What do you need, baby?" I kept my voice soft and low, but I was determined to help her through this.

"You," was her breathy response. "I _need_ you, I _want_ you." Her voice was thick with tension and passion. Her hands trembled as they continuously moved all over my body. It was like she didn't know what to do, that there was too much rolling around in her head.

Slowly and softly I stroked her cheek. Her eyes fluttered close at my touch and she nuzzled my hand. Her body trembled and vibrated with her desire. With our eyes locked on each other, we continued to undress us both. Our clothes were being shed rapidly as I could feel the rising need in Bella. Whatever she was feeling, it was immense and intense and I was going to do what I could to get her through it.

When we were down to our underwear, Bella flung herself at me and attacked my lips once more. Her hot mouth left trails of fire and need all over my face and neck, any skin she could find. Her hands clawed at mine as she pulled them down, alerting me to the idea that she wanted us down on the rug. Gently I carried us down while Bella kissed everywhere and anywhere she could.

When we were at last sitting down, she straddled my lap, locking her legs around me. I could feel her moist heat from her core, it was scorching. The scent of her arousal grew potent and heavy in the air. Our breathing grew rapid and our kisses desperate.

I felt her tiny hands on my shoulders pushing back, telling me she wanted me to lie down. Wrapping my arms around her, I carried her with me. My hands stroked her back, down to her ass and then back up again. Every pass elicited a shiver and left behind tiny goose bumps. I watched her face, so raw with desire and unrestrained need; it was beautiful, alluring and downright sexy. She ground her pussy against my aching dick and I swallowed the moans. I needed to see where she wanted to take this; this was her urge, not mine.

Wordlessly she unclasped her bra and flung away before she placed my hands on her tits. Her nipples were hard and peaked. She groaned and hissed in pleasure while I kneaded and plucked at them. Furiously she clutched at my hair while her hips continued a fast pace grind. I could feel her wetness through her panties. I knew she had to be dripping.

"Mine," she whispered as she softly traced my lips with her tongue. Abruptly she pulled away and began pulling her panties off. When they reached her knees, she stood over me and pulled them completely off. I couldn't help but stare at her pussy. It was glistening and the light from the fire danced along her skin, giving it a pearly, glittering look.

"Mine," she stated once more, this time with force and emotion.

Ever so slowly she shuffled so her pussy was right above my mouth and with rapt attention she lowered herself onto me. In that instant, I knew what her urge was about. She needed to mark me, to leave some proof or evidence that I was hers. Just like before when I feasted on her pussy to claim her, she was now claiming me.

With sure and swift movements, my tongue licked and sucked and lapped the juices that were free-flowing. Her hands went back to my hair and she ground herself all over my face. Her motions made my nose come into contact with her clit which had slowly swelled and peaked out from under its hood. It begged to be licked and so every few licks I would swirl around that hardened nub. Her mewls of pleasure grew louder and louder.

Once again, her cry of "Mine," punctuated the air as she rode my face. I was thankful I had no need to breathe as Bella crushed her pussy against my mouth. Over and over she cried that I was hers until her entire body went rigid and a gush of her fluids announced her orgasm. Above me she panted and her femoral artery pounded out her pulse.

I was going to help her lay besides me, but she surprised me as she dragged her pussy off my face and trailed it down my chest. Her sticky essence left a glistening mark on my skin and Bella's eyes were glued to it. They grew wide and I could almost feel her claim of ownership. I wanted to belong to her in every way possible.

She continued her trek down my chest to my stomach and over the boxers I still had on. She continued until she straddled my knees and began to pull them down. When the material freed my aching dick it sprang up and bobbed several times. I was rock hard and leaking pre-cum like a faucet. Bella licked her lips as she firmly grasped it and began to stroke me.

The warmth of her hands felt so good on my cock. I couldn't help but whimper and thrust my hips into her hands.

"That feels so good, baby." I closed my eyes to savor the feelings coursing through me.

With my eyes closed, I had no warning what so ever before Bella impaled herself on my cock.

"Holy shit!" I screamed out in surprise. When I opened my eyes, Bella was bouncing wildly, her head thrown back and her eyes were closed.

My hands automatically went to her hips to steady her and together we found a deliriously good rhythm. The heat of her pussy was scintillating and I could feel every inch of her. She placed her hands on my chest and rolled her hips in time to my upward thrusts. Our groans and pants filled the air mixing with the slap of skin on skin and the smell of sex.

"Oh, fuck. So good," panted Bella. "So mine. You're mine, Edward. Mine. Mine. MINE!" Each word was accented with her slamming down hard around my cock. Her face and upper chest were colored with a rosy blush and a faint sheen of sweat covered her body.

Her pussy was pulsing, my balls were tightening and our cries were getting louder. We were both so very close. Then several things happened at once, Bella opened her lust filled eyes, my fingers found her clit and her hands pinched both my nipples. Simultaneously we screamed out our release and her pussy milked my cock of everything it could give. The sensation of my icy seed spilling into her hot core sent shivers down both our spines.

With a whimper, Bella went limp and collapsed on my chest. Slowly I stroked her hair as her breathing and heart beat calmed down. Every so often I would place a gentle kiss on her head. I was reveling in Bella and just how perfect she was. She amazed me with her ability to go with the flow of this mating thing. She never freaked out about her urges or shied away from them.

For the first time I wondered if she could feel the subtle shift that I was becoming aware of, the deepening and strengthening of our bond. It was almost as if I could _feel _her inside me. The chaos of the pre-mating was giving way to a peace and serenity I wasn't aware existed. I had to know if she felt it as well.

"Can you feel the change, the difference?" I whispered my question, unwilling to ruin the intimacy of the moment.

"I'm not sure."I could sense the hesitancy in her voice. "What do you feel?"

So I told her how I felt. The feeling of contentment and oneness, that the chaos was less and how infinitely closer I felt to her. I knew without a doubt she was my soul mate, that missing link in my life.

Bella propped her chin on my chest and looked right at me. "I think I understand. For me it's more a feeling of safety. I know that I am loved and protected. I can feel that you are mine and that I am yours."

_I am yours. _

Three little words with almost as much meaning as, I love you. But for the vampire in me that sparked a primal need, a desire to protect what is mine. In a flash I had flipped Bella onto her back and I hovered over her.

"You are mine, aren't you, Bella? You are my mate." My nose nuzzled her neck and for one brief moment I imagined my scar adorning her neck. I couldn't wait. It would be the ultimate outward symbol that she belonged to me. I flicked out my tongue, dragging it flat across the place I knew I would bite her whenever she was ready.

"Yes Edward, all yours." She arched her neck closer and my lips lightly nibbling and sucking on the tender flesh.

Now that I was claimed by her, I wanted to claim her back. I was wearing her scent and the baser animal in me wanted her covered in mine. In one fluid motion, I stood before her. My dick was hard and small beads of pre-cum oozed from the tip. Bella rose to her knees before me. My eyes were locked on Bella; hers were locked on my twitching dick.

"Suck me," I commanded softly. My entire body throbbed with the overwhelming need to have her mouth wrapped tightly around me. As if my dick knew where it was headed, it twitched and jumped and the tip touched her lips.

Milliseconds later her entire mouth was sucking my cock and I groaned in satisfaction. She hummed and moaned as she plunged up and down the entire length of my dick. Her tongue swirled around and then flicked the tip on every up stroke. One hand fisted the base of my cock, pumping and stroking in tandem with her mouth. While her other hand was cupping and rolling my balls.

I couldn't help but hold her head in my hands. Her mouth felt so fucking good, I wanted to keep her moving on me. I resisted the urge to fist my hands in her hair and forcibly fuck her face. Instead I stroked her hair, temples and cheeks, showing my adoration for her in my small caresses.

Bella's eyes were closed, concentrating on the best fucking blow job ever. The hand on my balls grew demanding and aggressive; her sucks were harder, deeper and faster. That familiar ball of tension was growing deep inside me and I knew my orgasm was close.

A light scrape of her teeth made me hiss out, "Oh, fuck, baby. That felt so good." Bella hummed in response and my cock vibrated with it. My hips involuntarily flexed with the sensations.

It felt as if Bella was a flurry of motion, stroking and licking, sucking and pulling. I could feel the pressure building in my stomach. My breathing sped up and I knew it would be only seconds before I exploded. The next upstroke I pulled my cock from her mouth and in vampire speed, stroked myself harder and faster. Bella went to remove her hand from my balls but a quick shake of my head she went back to her ministrations.

In no time, that coil of pressure spiraled outward, became intense and consuming. I knew my hands were a blur of motion for Bella, but her eyes were transfixed, watching as I finished myself. My hips were bucking, meeting my hand as I arched my back and screamed out my release.

'Mine," I shouted as streams of my cum erupted onto Bella's chest. The sight of her breasts covered in my jizz lengthened my orgasm and the streams kept splashing her chest. My eyes drank in her nipples dripping with my cum and the tiny bead that landed on her chin.

When it was all over I sunk to my knees and pulled Bella in for a fierce kiss. There was no softness, just pure desire. Pulling away to let her breathe I whispered, "You're mine."

Bella nodded mutely and pulled me back in. Her kisses were soft, bringing me back down from the high I was on. Her tongue traced my lips and the she nibbled on my lower one, all the while she was whispering how much we belonged together. One more piece of our mating clicked into place and I knew there was only one way left to show her the depth of my love.

**A/N: Hmm I wonder what he is planning! Sooo... did ya like it? Are your panties still on?**

**Voting is now open for the PickYourPic Contest... CullensTwiMistress and I enetered one together.. go read the awesome entries and vote for your fave. http:/www dot fanfiction dot net/~PickYourPicContest Link will be on my profile as well!**

**Here is a mini teaser for next chapter:**

There wasn't an inch of my body that he didn't kiss or lick. He left love bites on my inner thighs, on the sides of my breasts and one behind my ear.

**Hmmmmm very interesting... ok.. now.. go leave me some love.. come on.. you you want to.. I dare ya... show me the love!**


	32. Ch 31

**A/N: YOU GUYS ROCK! I love all the reviews (I had some kick ass anon ones.. thanks I wish I would respond to you!) the alerts and faves... you guys make me soo happy!**

**Much love goes to CullensTwiMistress for once again dealing with all my messed up tenses...thanks for luving me babe. I 3 u!**

**Ahh sooo we get to see the suprise and I am happy to say no one figured it out! I love it when I can surprise you!**

**I wish I owned Twilight, instead I own Rob porn on my computer! ENJOY!**

Chapter 31

BPOV

I was glad that I didn't try to imagine what the mating would be like; because there was no way in hell I would have been right. There was no way to prepare; there was no equivalent human experience for me to draw from. Nothing would have adequately described the immense onslaught of emotions that came with a vampire mating. From the second Edward entered me in the tub that morning; I knew it was an experience that was out of this world.

I was right.

Since that first time, the feelings only intensified, deepened. I never knew that you could connect to someone on the level I felt connected to Edward. It was like I could _feel _him, literally inside my heart and soul. But with that came a sense of peace and rightness. He was the other half of me, he was my soul mate. With each thrust of his dick in me, with every kiss he placed on my body, each orgasm that was ripped from me, each whispered word; we only grew closer, stronger, and invincible.

I didn't want to believe the girls when they tried to prepare me. The feelings they described were not real, they couldn't be. They were right and I was never more grateful that I was proven wrong. But that night in front of the fire when we both claimed each other all over again, it unleashed something that put all the other days to shame. The dam had broken and we were swept up in a tide of pure, undiluted lust.

It started the very next day; I was just making breakfast, singing along with the music Edward had turned on. Next thing I knew I was bent over the counter, my pj pants around my ankles and Edward sheathed deep of inside me. He placed open mouthed kisses all along my spine as he thrust harder and faster. I didn't last long. A few hours later we were on the couch, his cock deep in mouth and his tongue lashing at my clit. Hours later found me riding Edward after my nap, he kept me dangling on that precipice, drawing me closer and closer and then pulling me back. When he finally allowed me to orgasm, I swear I saw stars and I lost all feeling in my body.

Then, just before going to bed, I was took a bath and I called out to Edward. When he walked into the bathroom, I asked him if he wanted to reenact our first time. I think the fact that I was playing with myself and tweaking my nipples helped him decide. Afterwards, I fell into an exhausted sleep.

I thought we had gotten it out of our system, but when I awoke the next day, it was more of the same. We couldn't keep our hands off of each other. For me it was the need to know that he was mine, that there was a physical connection to go with the emotional one. At times I felt out of control, but one touch from Edward and the chaos in my body settled. One thrust deep inside me and I felt whole.

On that second day there wasn't a surface we hadn't used. He bent me over the couch and ate me out on the table. I blew him in the shower and rode him on the rug in front of the fire. He made love to me so slow on the bed I thought I was going to die. He whispered his love and adoration, his mouth worshiped my body. There wasn't an inch of my body that he hadn't kissed or licked. He left love bites on my inner thighs, on the sides of my breasts and one behind my ear.

We fucked four more times before I was so tired I could barely keep my eyes open. All I could think about was how when I was changed I would spend days; weeks even, just worshiping his body. When I could go forever and forever I would return every touch, every lick, and every caress he bestowed upon me. I wanted him to have no doubt of my love for him.

The sun shone bright and early the morning of New Years Eve. I tentatively stretched my muscles, feeling every delicious ache and pain. Once again I wondered why my vag wasn't as sore as I thought it would be, especially with as much sexing as we had done. My only idea was that having a lover with a frozen peen had several benefits. I giggled at that thought which brought Edward into the room with a quizzical look. Of course it only made me realize I was thinking of his frozen dick and my giggles erupted into full blown belly laughs.

Bouncing onto the bed, Edward caged me in his arms. "What are you laughing about?" His nose was skimming my neck and collarbones. Tears were streaming down my eyes and my sides hurt from laughing so hard.

"Nothing," I managed to choke out.

"I don't believe you," he replied with a wicked gleam in his eyes.

Before I could blink, he was tickling me everywhere. Now my peals of laughter were shrieks and I struggled to breathe. I thrashed from side to side, trying to escape his hands that seemed to multiply.

"S-st-stop!" I screamed out. "Pl-please!" I was panting by now and trying to curl into a protective hunch. It wasn't fair when he tickled.

Mercifully he stopped and I closed my eyes trying to slow my racing heart and staggered breathing.

"So, are you going to share what had you giggling like a school girl?"

I wanted to shout 'hell no', instead I smiled sweetly; "A girl has got to have her secrets."

He shook his head in disbelief and scrambled off the bed. "Come on, I got your breakfast waiting." He held out his hand as I followed him into the kitchen.

On the table was French toast, sausage, a blueberry muffin and orange juice. At that moment my stomach made its hunger known; Edward just snickered as he held my seat out. Sitting down he slid my chair in and I dug in. Edward went back to scribbling in his journal as I tried to make sense of the past few days.

To say they were intense would be an understatement. It was frantic, wild, sexy and almost possessive. Part of me wanted to feel self conscious, to blush or be embarrassed. But I couldn't. It felt right, natural and loving. All I could think about was that he was mine, that I was his and that we would be together for a very long time. But I did want to talk to Edward about it because I did wonder if that was supposed to happen? Was a two day fuck-a-thon normal for a bonding time? Or was that something special due to me being a human? Since I had no answers, I focused on breakfast.

Just as I was about to finish, Edward came over and helped me clear the table. He started to wash and I grabbed a towel to dry.

"So, I was wondering if you want to go outside for a bit today. It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day."

I glanced out of the window to the several inches of snow that had fallen overnight. "Um, what's beautiful about outside? It's cold and there is snow?" I couldn't contain the shiver that ran down my spine.

Edward's musical laugh interrupted my pondering of snow. "Oh, come on. It won't be that bad. It's nice to get outside and get some fresh air."

No, what weren't nice were the dazzling eyes he threw my way in the hopes of getting his. Inwardly I sighed; outwardly I narrowed my eyes at him. I didn't want to give into him too easily, what was the fun in that.

"You know I am not fond of the cold, Edward." I tried to make my tone rebuking. I gave him my death stare, raised my eyebrows just slightly, and a small downturn of the lips.

Instead of caving, he smirked at me and then came stalking towards me. I held my breath, waiting to see what he would do. He bent his head, his lips crazing my ear.

"Come on, baby girl. It will be fun. We can go running." Then he pulled away and regarded me with such swagger I was stunned.

I blinked several times, trying to make sense and to just think. Deep down I knew that he would win and who knew, maybe we could warm each other up in the tub.

"Fine," I huffed. His smile was brilliant.

We finished the last of the dishes and then I went off to get bundled up. I shouldn't have been surprised to see a warm winter jacket, some snow pants and gloves, scarf and mittens. I knew it was all Alice's doing, because it was warm, it was fashionable and I didn't feel like that kid in _A Christmas Story_.

Walking out into the living room to see Edward holding some boots for me, but that's not what I was looking at. No, I was looking at Edward in all of his 'sexy, just stepped out of GQ' glory. He had on some fitted dark wash jeans, a black mock turtleneck with an ivory button up over it. He looked good enough to eat.

"Want my help with your boots," he asked with a bit too much innocence in his voice.

"Um, sure," I managed to squeak out. I sat on the sofa and Edward knelt down and quickly had my boots on and my snow pants over them.

Silently he held out his hand and we walked outside. The air was frosty, the temps were in the low 20's and there was no sun, just filtered light through gray clouds. The snow was wet beneath our feet and crunched as we walked. Snow clung to the sides of trees; branches were weighted down by the heavy, wet snow. Turning to look at the cottage, I gasped as it looked straight out of a fairytale. The roof was covered in several inches of snow; the chimney had smoke wafting gently in the air. The forest looked as if it was wrapping its arms around the cottage, protecting and sheltering. It was perfect.

As I admired the cottage, I felt something hit me from behind. Turning I saw Edward tossing a snowball from hand to hand. I fumed as I realized that Edward hit me with a snowball. _That little shit. _Quickly I scooped up some snow and threw it in Edward's direction. It landed with a spectacular splat on a tree five feet from where he stood. Seconds later I was pelted with several snowballs. Edward's laugh rang clear in the winter air.

Holding my hands up, I surrendered, "Uncle! Stop! I give up!" In a flash he was by my side and brushing away snow that had landed on my cheek. "That wasn't fair, you know."

Another chuckle, "Yea, I know. Would you rather I stand real close so you can hit me?"

Pretending to give it some thought, I tapped my chin with my forefinger, "Umm, not really. That doesn't sound fair." I responded after a few moments. "But you can make it up to me."

"How?" He asked with a hint of skepticism.

"Make me a kickass snow man _and_ I reserve the right to challenge you to a snowball fight when I am changed. We will be even then."

For a brief moment some emotion flickered across his face when I mentioned my change, it looked like hope and elation, but before I could figure it out, it was gone. Edward nodded enthusiastically to my demands and went about making me a snowman. As he carved the huge balls of snow he had rolled, I went in search of sticks for arms and small stones for the face. When I returned, the body was done and I finished him off with the materials I had gathered.

Edward came up behind me as I placed the last stone for his nose, "What do you think?" With his head he motioned towards the four foot high snowman. Edward had somehow managed to make it look like he had clothes on by carving what looked like a shirt and pants onto the balls of snow. It was one of the best snowmen I had ever seen.

"He's perfect," I whispered. I turned my face and kissed his jaw. "Wanna make snow angels?" I felt his nod against my cheek. We walked to find a patch of undisturbed snow and then fell to our backs and made snow angels. I laughed the whole time, feeling carefree and happy. It seemed so unreal that I could be this happy.

We spend the rest of our time just together. We did some walking in the woods, finding stuff for our Biology project. For a short time Edward took me running. The feel of the wind whipping by us as he dodged trees, leaped over rocks and frozen streams, it was almost surreal. We were silent, but it wasn't heavy. It was comfortable and familiar.

In the early afternoon, we were sitting high up on a rock face. There was a panoramic view of the vista below us. It looked odd, almost alien like with all the snow and bare trees. I was swaddled in a blanket that Edward had packed in a backpack he brought. I cuddled up to him just enjoying the view. It was the perfect place for me to try and sort of the last few days and talk to Edward about it.

"So," I began nervously, "the last few days were intense. Is it always like that?" I managed to keep my voice steady, giving no hint at the inner chaos of my own thoughts.

He softly chuckled next to me, "Intense is one word. I was thinking more like…fucking wow!"

My girlie bits tingled at the swear falling from his lips. Instead I laughed and the small bit of tension in my body melted away. I could talk to him about this, _we _could. There was nothing wrong or to be ashamed about.

Edward went on to say that his siblings described periods of their own bonding where there was non-stop sex. It was a time where each mate felt a frantic, possessive need to mark and claim their own mate. It is thought to happen at the height of the bonding time. Carlisle wasn't certain whether we would have something that was like that our not during ours as I was human.

"Can I ask what you thought about that time," he asked quietly.

I knew if I said no, he would let it go, he wouldn't push, but there was no need to keep my thoughts and feelings about this a secret. Taking a deep breath, I gathered my thoughts and spoke.

"Most of the times I was riding the high of the emotions. It was so overwhelming and then at times I felt so needy. At times I literally wanted to crawl inside you, I couldn't get close enough. But no matter what I was feeling or thinking, it felt right and natural." I turned to look at him, needing him to see the truth in my words. "Every second of the last few days, I could feel us getting stronger and I never felt more loved and protected."

I softly kissed his angular jaw and nuzzled closer to him. "What about you? What was it like for you?"

His arms tightened around me and he placed a kiss on the top of my head. "It was the first time that the only thing I had buzzing in my head was you. Every part of my brain was engaged with you. I was hyper aware of everything; your smell, your touch, the feel of your body, the sounds you made. I remember just needing to touch you, to know that you were still there. For the first time I felt safe."

The wistful sound of his voice stopped me from chuckling at the idea that I could make him feel safe. Before I could question what he meant, he continued. "I could just let go with my feelings. I didn't have to be guarded. I knew that you would keep me safe, that you would never hurt me."

Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes. I blinked furiously, trying to make them go away, not wanting to let Edward see me cry. His words touched me deeply, it was almost too much. But I knew what Edward was saying. He could trust me with his heart and I would keep it safe. There was no way I could ever bring him emotional harm. I'd rather hurt myself before I allowed him to feel one ache of pain. Edward placed his fingers on my chin and turned me to face him. His eyes scanned my face.

"Happy tears?"

Afraid that if I spoke I would cry harder, I simply nodded. He searched me again; I managed a weak smile and then cuddled closer. This was my safe harbor. Wherever Edward was, I would feel safe.

"I love you." We both spoke together and then laughed. We were so in sync.

Later that day I was soaking in the huge tub trying to warm up as Edward was off on a small hunting trip. He hadn't hunted since before our bonding began. While he didn't feel out of control, he felt it wouldn't hurt. I was submerged up to my chin, my hair was piled on top of my head. The jets were churning away and soothing my tired muscles. My mind floated all over the place, the heat and haziness of the bathroom making me all warm and cozy.

I had a sneaking suspicion that our bonding time would be coming to a close. School would start back up in a few days and then we would be out of our little bubble and back into reality. Knowing we had the cottage to come back to for private alone time would help make school bearable. With a huge sigh, I finally finished bathing and got out of the massive tub.

Edward had mentioned that tonight he wanted to do something special for our first New Years Eve together. Instead of comfy pajama's, I found a royal blue long satin, spaghetti strapped nightie. I knew Edward loved this color on me. It had a matching long-sleeved satin robe. I grabbed my hairbrush and sat in front of the fire brushing it dry.

As I finished up, Edward came back. His eyes were a warm honey toned and his skin held a slight flush. He simply took my breath away. I watched as his eyes roamed all over my body as my eyes did the same to him. He always looked so excited after a hunt, as if he was high on adrenaline. There were a few dirt smudges on his pants and a few leaves in his hair, but he still looked gorgeous to me.

"Wow," he finally said as he gestured to my nightgown. "You look so beautiful, baby. I'd come and kiss you but I am a bit dirty and a lot colder. Let me take a shower, okay?"

I nodded mutely, still stunned by his sheer beauty. With my hair dry, I tied it back in a low, loose pony tail and busied myself with making my dinner. Not wanting to dirty a whole lot of dishes, I made a simple grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup. I heard the shower turn off as I plated my dinner. I took it to the fire on a tray.

Edward met me at the fire and took the tray so that I could sit down. "How was your hunt?" I asked as I dug into my sandwich.

His eyes followed my movements as he spoke, "It was good. Found two deer and a wolf."

I chewed thoughtfully; we never really talked much about when he hunts and what it's like. Figuring I had nothing to lose, I questioned him. "So, how do you know when you've had enough? Do you feel full, like I do when I eat?"

He smiled at me. "I guess it's more of a sloshy feeling. It's an uncomfortable feeling."

I pondered that, trying to imagine what it felt like to be full that way instead of by food. I didn't think long on it as I knew it would be something that I would have to experience. "What's your favorite animal to hunt?"

His eyes light up and he smiles, "Easy, mountain lion." He answered with such enthusiasm that I couldn't help but smile.

"What do you think I'll like?" I tried to imagine what the different animals would taste like, but I had a hard time trying to even think about drinking blood.

Edward looked at me, probingly. "Hmm, well, Esme and Alice both find elk and moose appealing, Rose likes deer and wolves. But, I think you'll like mountain lion." His eyes averted quickly, and I just knew it was because he thought of something that would make him happy, but didn't think I'd agree.

"What are thinking?" I rubbed his hands softly, reassuring him that I was here and I would always be here.

He took a deep sigh, "I was thinking of you and me hunting. I like the idea of it." There was fire and desire that lit his eyes from within. Suddenly, I wanted to ask him to change me now, just so I could keep that fire burning. But this wasn't the time, we had no plans in place and I wasn't ready.

"I have tried to picture it, but it's hard," I shrugged, trying to lighten the mood. "I'm just going to have to wait until I am changed." I watched his eyes carefully as I spoke about being changed and that strange light was back in his eyes. I knew that he wanted me to be changed, but his eyes let on just how much he did.

I finished my food and Edward took the tray back into the kitchen. I was going to start on the dishes, but Edward pulled me back against his chest. "Leave them; let's get ready to celebrate the New Year."

I wasn't going to turn down not doing dishes, so I nodded and Edward pulled me towards the bedroom. I knew there was going to be a surprise and I tried once more to figure it out. "So, can I get a hint about the surprise?" I gave him my best seductive look; I even pushed out my lower lip just slightly.

"Nope," he replied and pushed my lower lip back, "but nice try." He then placed a kiss on my nose.

When we walked into the room, it had been transformed. There were lit candles all over the place, bathing the room in a soft glow. The moon was shining brightly through the windows, adding a shimmery, ethereal feel to the room. In front of the French doors that would lead to the garden, there was a pallet of blankets on the floor along with a pile of pillows.

He flipped a switch that I never knew existed and music gently filled the room. I spun, taking it all in. "Wow, so beautiful. Thank you."

He pulled me close as we silently danced. One of my hands is on his chest over his heart, clasped in his, the other around his shoulder, while his other hand is on my hip, guiding us in a simple box step. I placed my head on his chest, letting the soft melodies of the music fill me and trust that Edward could guide me and I would never fall.

The silence around us never felt oppressive or stifling; in fact it was easy and calming. Whatever needed to be said, we said with our touches. There were the soft circles he rubbed on my hip, or my fingers that played with the hairs on the nape of his neck. We placed kisses on the areas we can reach; my head, his chest, my temple, his hands. It was all that we needed, and it was enough.

After a few songs, we sat down on the pile of blankets, snuggling close to each to each other. I asked him questions about past New Years Eve's that he has had and what he had done before. He told me about them chasing the millennium and how they greeted it in several different countries and two times zones in the states.

I told him about some of the more interesting things my mom and I had done for New Years. We had a girlie one, it was full of facials, mani's and pedi's and crazy hair. I told him that there was a picture of us on the mantle at my mom's house.

I asked him about the last year, and his search for a mate and we both wondered where we would be now if he would have stayed at home. I thought he would be more upset, or feel as if he was cheated of time with me. When asked him why he didn't feel that way, his answer was simple and honest.

"I don't think I was ready to meet you last year."

For the next hour, we talk about everything and anything. Sometimes we had deep discussions about life and what my change will be like, and then things would get light as we debated music, movies and books. Several times he would ask me to dance and he would fold me in his arms where I felt so very safe.

A few minutes before midnight, Edward pulled me up and positioned me in front of the French doors. He stood behind me and placed his chin on my shoulder as his arms wrapped around me. "Watch outside and up, there will be a surprise."

I focused outside, never realizing how clear the night was, the stars were brilliant and never had I seen so many of them. Just as I was going to turn back to Edward to ask him what I was supposed to be seeing, a loud boom sounded and then a bright white light lit up the night. It was fireworks.

"Fireworks?" I asked, as my eyes were glued to the colorful display being played out before me. They were dazzling and brilliant, so many different colors and types of fireworks.

"Yea. When Alice realized it was going to be a clear night, she made plans."

In silence we watched, my smile never leaving my face. There was something so innocent about watching fireworks and like a child; I wanted to clap with each loud boom. I was so wrapped up in watching what was going on in front of me; I never realized that Edward was no longer standing behind me, but off to my side. When I turned towards him, he was down on one knee holding a small black box.

Instantly I froze, my mind unable to process anything except Edward and the absolute serene look on his face. The colors from the fireworks added to his already angelic appearance. My heart was pounding and my breathing was coming in tiny pants.

"I never thought I would find someone like you. But when you came into my life, I knew you were meant for me. You are everything I ever wanted and all I ever want in my life. You are my best friend, my mate, my lover and now I ask you, Isabella, will you be my wife?"

Tears were quickly filling my eyes and I blinked, trying to clear them, wanting to commit his words and the look on his face to memory. His hands opened the black box to show a beautiful ring. The center and largest diamond was oval in shape, the moon light causing it to glitter. On either side of the center diamond are two smaller but just as impressive oval diamonds. It was set in a simple platinum band. I had never seen a more beautiful ring.

Edward took it out of the box, grabbed my hand and held it close, his eyes turned up to look at me, expectantly. It was then that I realized I never answered him. I swallowed trying to find my voice, licking my lips, I nodded my head.

"Yes! Yes, I'll marry you."

My hands were trembling as he slips the ring onto my finger. Once in place, he kissed it with reverence. He stood up, pulled me in close and held me as I cried with joy.

"Thank you. I will spend the rest of my life loving you and making you happy."

I was too stunned to say anything back, so I kissed him with every ounce of my ability. I poured into that kiss, every emotion I was feeling; happiness, joy, elation, excitement, jubilation. I molded my body against his and pulled on his head as I deepened our kiss.

His hands splayed across my back as he held me even closer. With a flip of a switch our kisses went from joyous, to frantic, full of need and desire. There was urgency; it's wasn't part of our bonding, but more an affirmation of our commitment to each other; a physical demonstration of our love.

Edward guided me to the bed as he slipped off the nightgown. I attempted to pull off his shirt, but my hands were still not functioning as I was jumble of nerves and chaotic emotions. He ripped my panties off with a flick of his wrist and I whimpered. I pulled away so I could breathe and try to get his flannel pants off of him.

In one swoop Edward managed to push me onto the bed and take off his pants and boxers. Lightening fast he was on me and laid kisses wherever he could. My hands ran through his hair as I tried desperately to get close to him.

"So beautiful," he whispered as he bent down to capture a puckered nipple. The sensation of his cool mouth on my overheated skin was dizzying. His hands played my body, I was whimpering and moaning, but I could have cared less.

"Edward," I pleaded, needing him to soothe the desire that flared in the pit of my stomach. I rocked my hips, searching for any type of friction.

His lips found that spot behind my ear, "I know, baby. I know"

He maneuvered us so we were on our sides, his chest to my back. One of his hands was around my chest, plucking and tugging at my nipples. The other was pulling my leg back and over his legs, opening me up wide.

One long slender finger circled my clit and then dipped down to the warm, wet folds beneath. "Always so wet for me," he moaned in my ear, making me shiver.

Gently he entered me and I arched my back trying to get him in deeper and looking for that friction. His low chuckle made me realize he was teasing. I would have none of that. I snuck a hand between us and I rubbed my thumb along the side of his shaft. His hiss of pleasure made me smile. Two could play at this. But all I wanted was him deep inside me.

"Please, Edward," I wasn't opposed to begging to get the relief I wanted.

Just then I felt the head of his dick as it lined up at my entrance. I sucked in breath, ready for the delicious feeling of being full and feeling his thickness as it stretched me. I didn't have to wait long, as in one smooth stroke Edward impaled me on his cock. I gasped at the intrusion, but it felt so good.

The angle from our position was new and unexpected. He consistently hit that spot deep inside and I couldn't help but meet his slow thrusts. His hands kept my upper body flush to his. His cool intoxicating breath washed over me with every pant and groan.

"You feel so good, Bella." He nuzzled my neck. Every so often he would lick and kiss the juncture of my shoulder and neck.

With my one free hand I reached back and tangled my hand in his hair, the luxurious feeling of his hair just added to the feelings already coursing through me. His thrusts were steady and deep, they filled me so completely, that I could only close my eyes and simply feel.

I was surprised by the intimacy of the position, we couldn't see each other, but I sure felt him. The hand that plucked and rolled my nipples, the hand that secured my pelvis to his, the pants on my neck, our moans that filled the air.

"More, Edward. Need more." I couldn't explain it, but there was a feeling that was building and growing deep inside. He sped up with his thrusts and it was what I needed, to feel that deep sense of connection with him.

Faster and deeper he went, I felt high and I wanted to float on that feeling of nothingness. His fingers worked my nipples till they were rock hard. Each pinch, every pull felt connected to my pussy. I arched my body into his fingers, searching for more. His other hand snacked down to my clit, slowly drawing lazy circles around it but never touching it. My entire body felt as if it was one live wire.

Edward buried his head in the crook of my neck and he held me closer as he sped up even more. My hand clutched at his head and I simply went along with the ride, awash in sensations that were covering my body. I could feel my orgasm, churning and boiling. There was a tightening in my body that told me I was going to fall hard and fast when I came. Never was I more happy to have his arms encircling me, protecting me.

"So close, love," moaned Edward.

Hearing the way he sounded just as out of control as I was became my undoing. I closed my eyes as the wave of my orgasm crested and as it pulled me under, I screamed his name.

"Edward!"

Wave after wave pounded me and I could feel my pussy as it pulsed. It was so tight I could feel as Edward swelled before he came in several long, cool spurts.

"Oh, fuck, Bella." His groan was muffled by my hair as his hips bucked with the force of his orgasm.

When it was done, he pulled out and I couldn't help the cry of sadness as he disengaged from me. He quickly he rolled me onto his chest as my body slowly came back from its high. Edward's cool chest was heaven against my sweat soaked body. His hands ran soothing patterns on my body, relaxing me further.

He kissed my head, "Thank you," he whispered.

"For what?"

"For saying yes."

**A/N: Sooo what did ya think? Did ya like it? **

**I have made a FB account for my FF life... the link is on my profile or you can look me up as W Vampgirl FanFic.. come friend me.. I give out teasers for coming chapters.**

**Also, the one shot that CullensTwiMistress and I wrote under our name Darkwards Mistresses has been posted.. check it out: http:/www dot fanfiction dot net/s/7477984/1/**** We didn't win... but we love the story.. **

**Ok..some have asked whats next with the story... the main focus of it was their connection which led up to their mating... now that we have had that.. the next chapters are going to tie up the story.. which means that time is gonna move alot faster. I don't have it all mapped out yet...but just know that this story will go to their HEA...**

**Now.. leave me love... come on... please?**


	33. Ch 32

**A/N: hehe..It's not often that I can surprise my readers...but the proposal sure did! *fist pump* it was also one that you guys enjoyed.. which makes me feel even better! Your suport, love and encouragement is what keeps my ass writing this story! The reviews, faves and alerts make my day whenever I get one.. I cant say that enough!**

**To fanfichardcore who is my Facebook story pimp- I fluv you girl *smooches* To TexasBella who got me to read her story I'm a Doctor and then gave me a huge shout out... damn you make me blush. Read her story.. but be warned.. it is fucked up twisted!**

**Ahh my dearest, sweetest, sister from another mister- CullensTwiMistress- shake those pom poms.. I wanna see them move! *wink***

**And the lovely Snuff10 gave Edward and Bella the nickname: Matingward and Matella! LOVE IT!**

**I don't own Twilight, but on payday I'll own a ticket to the midnight showing of Breaking Dawn! ENJOY!**

Chapter 32

I couldn't take my eyes off of Bella. She had truly and deeply captivated me. She was sound asleep next to me, her body curled up against mine. My fingers absentmindedly combed through her hair as I thought about the last few hours. My entire body was humming with the love and happiness coursing through me. I wanted to shout my jubilation to the mountains and then I wanted to stay holed up in this ccottage forever. But most of all I couldn't keep three words from bouncing around inside my head.

_She said yes._

I worried that I was moving too fast, that she would say no and leave me devastated. But all of that doubt and uncertainty melted away the minute I took her hand in mine. All I could feel then was how right it was, how perfect we were and that she was mine. I _knew_ it, I _felt_ it deep inside me, she would say yes. I was right and never had I been happier.

My phone buzzed on the bedside table breaking my train of thought. Picking it up I saw it was a text from Alice.

_Congrats from all of us.-A_

I quickly typed out a reply.

_Thanks. We are both very happy.-E&B_

I smiled at the B I added. But it was true, I could feel Bella's excitement at getting married and we were forever going to be linked, mated, married. Forever it was going to be us. My phone buzzed with a reply.

_You guys are cute. See you soon.-A_

One look at her reply and I knew what Alice meant, but I wanted to make sure. Just as I was going to reply back with my question, another text from her came in.

_Today looks like the last day. Enjoy.-A_

I couldn't stop the sigh that escaped. I didn't want our time to be over. But I knew it was coming. It was one of those instinctual, gut feelings that Carlisle talked to me about prior to our bonding. It's a feeling that is hard to quantify or explain. The only thing I could liken it to is a feeling of completion or satisfaction. Now, whatever happens today will just further cement our connection. Not wanting to waste another minute of our precious time together, I carefully wrapped myself around Bella and let her heartbeat lull me into a state of peace and contentment.

Hours later, I felt Bella stirring and I knew she would wake soon. I began to pepper small kisses on her neck and shoulder, laving my tongue against her sweet skin every once in awhile. Bella's body buried itself closer to me, her heat engulfing me. A soft moan escaped when I nibbled on her earlobe.

Smiling, against her skin, I murmured, "Good morning, beautiful."

She stretched and exposed more of her neck which I attacked with playful ferocity. Her squeals and laughter were music to my ears.

"Morning, handsome."

She turned, bestowing me with such a dazzling smile that momentarily rendered me speechless. Without hesitation I captured her lips in a sweet kiss, nibbling on her soft plump lips and sweeping my tongue against her mouth. I pulled back slightly and placed a few chaste kisses on her lips before looking at her.

"Want to take a shower before breakfast?"

She nodded eagerly. Together we scrambled off the bed and walked into the bathroom. I busied myself with getting the water turned on and warming up, then settled two huge clean fluffy towels on the bar outside the shower. I tried not to notice that Bella was busy stripping off her clothes behind me. But I heard each whisper of fabric as it moved across her body.

Warm steam began to fill the room as we both finished undressing. I held the door open for her and guided her in with her hand. There were multiple heads in the shower, the largest being a rainfall one that was directly overhead. Several came from the sides that pulsed and massaged. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed how Bella simply stood and let the massaging ones work her body.

Her eyes were closed in delight as she worked the water from overhead into her hair. It was an erotic and sensual sight. Grabbing the shampoo, I asked softly, "Can I wash your hair?"

She just nodded and turned her back towards me, never letting the pulsing shower heads leave her body. I squirted a dollop of shampoo into the palm of my hand and began to smooth it over her long locks. Gently I worked from the crown of her head to the tips, massaging and scrubbing. I watched as Bella's body relaxed into the sensations of my fingers and I marveled over the sexiness of just a simple hair washing.

When her head was filled with foamy suds, I maneuvered her so that I could rinse it out. I combed my fingers through the strands to make sure I got all of the shampoo out. Silently I worked through a healthy dose of conditioner making sure that her hair was evenly coated.

The entire time I was doing that, I couldn't help be wonder at how erotic and downright sexy this was. It also made me realize that while Bella has blown me once in the shower, we never had actual shower sex. That was something that I was going to remedy, soon.

I smoothed her hair straight, once again making sure the conditioner was worked in evenly, then moved my hands to her chest and gently cupped her breasts, rubbing and kneading them. Bella's head slumped back and rested on my shoulder. I pulled her closer to me as I flicked her nipples. They responded by pebbling and puckering. Bella answered with a throaty moan. I added more pressure as I twisted and rolled her nipples, I grounded my rock hard dick against her backside as my tongue flicked the shell of her ear.

"Do you realize we haven't fucked in the shower yet?" Another moan was her reply. "I think we need to fix that, don't you?" She pushed back against my cock and rubbed it, I took that as a yes.

In a flash I spun her around, lifting her by her ass. Bella instinctively wrapped her legs around my hips opening her pussy to me. I could smell her arousal as it hung on the steam in the air. My cock twitched as if it could sense it was seconds from being thrusted deep inside her.

"Hang on," was the only warning I gave her before I dove in hard and deep, her back hitting the shower wall.

"Oh, shit," she screamed. I paused to give her a few moments to adjust to such a fast intrusion.

When I felt her hips begin to shift, I pulled back and thrust in again, deep and hard. I kept my eyes trained on Bella, who had her eyes closed. With each thrust in she moaned and when I pulled back to the point where I was almost all the way out, she would pout. It was completely adorable.

Her hands firmly clutched my hair as I pumped in and out of her. She felt so warm and wet, it was heaven. Then when Bella began to meet my thrusts with a swivel of her hips, it only served to drive me in deeper. Even in the shower, she was so wet, so very tight.

"Oh, Edward," she panted, "Feels so good, baby."

The sight of her tits bouncing and swaying in front of me proved to be too great a temptation and I captured one hardened nipple in my mouth and sucked hard. I could feel the warm satiny texture of her nipple and her low growl of pleasure as I suckled on it harder. I alternated between the two making sure both got equal attention. Bella's back arched as much as it could with me pinning her to the wall.

I could see the tell tale flush spread across Bella's chest, alerting me that her orgasm was near, so I changed up the angle of my thrusts and placed one of Bella's legs over my arms changing the position of her hips. Now with each thrust, I hit her deeper and brushed against her g-spot.

Her breathy moans echoed in the room and seemed to bombard me from every direction. It turned me on to hear passion reflected back to me and it started the all too familiar rolling deep down that signaled my impending orgasm.

Harder and faster I thrust and Bella's moans turned in to keening cries of pleasure as I pounded her relentlessly. Wanting to make myself last, I nuzzled her shoulder, focusing only on the slap of skin and the cries falling from Bella's lips.

"So close, Edward. Please," she begged me as her hands pulled even harder on my hair. Her hips were wildly bucking.

Together we were frantic, erratic movements that collided and crashed against each other. I could feel the faint fluttering of her pussy walls, signaling her orgasm. Her cries and pants were music to my ears as I thrust harder and deeper. Her hands dug into my shoulders and her heels pushed into my ass.

"So fucking tight, baby."

I bent at my knees and shifted her hips so her back was all against the wall but her hips were pulled towards me. The next thrust had Bella rolling her eyes back and she screamed out her fast orgasm.

"Edward….ohh.. fuck.. yes…" Her mouth stayed open in a perfect little O and her pussy gripped me hard and triggered my own orgasm as it ripped out of me. A few thrusts later and my cock was being milked by her pulsing pussy. Gently I lowered us to the floor of the shower. I pulled from her moist heat, which drew a groan of complaint from Bella and arranged her on my lap.

I could feel her heart as it beat wildly against my chest, I slowly stroked her back, letting the water rinse us clean. I kissed her hair, her forehead, her temple, calming her even further. She snuggled close and when she was finally under control, I moved to get us out of the shower and dried off.

As I dried her off, I could see that she was still a bit wobbly and the perpetual teen boy in me stifled a fist pump at the idea that I fucked her to the point she had jello legs. The mature man in me took care of her. I helped her dress in comfy lounge pants and one of my Harvard sweatshirts.

Together we worked to make her brunch and we settled in front of the fire, and then snuggled under some blankets. I wanted to have a serious talk with her but was hesitant to do so. But my gut told me that this was something that at least needed to be discussed between us before we brought my family in. I knew Bella would need the time and space to really think and talk things through.

I sat there, staring into the fire, trying to determine the best way to start talking to her, my hands absentmindedly twirling her hair around my fingers, when she broke the silence around us.

"What's got you thinking so hard?" She pressed between my eyes in an attempt to smooth out the furrow that had formed.

Sighing, I replied, "I want to talk to you about something, but I am trying to decide if the right time is now. But I can feel that our time here is winding down, so this may be only time to do it without distractions."

Bella twisted in my arms to look at me, her eyes flashing, "There is nothing that we can't talk about and deal with together." She grabbed the hand that held the ring she gave me and then held up the ring I gave her. "These show our utter commitment to each other and desire to be together, _no matter what_."

Deep down I knew what she was saying was true, but there was just a small seed of worry and doubt that was hard to let go. But looking into her deep, soft eyes, I knew I would do anything she asked of me, anything at all. She rubbed my arm soothingly as I gathered my courage to ask her about her change.

I moved her so that she was sitting against me, my arms anchored around her more for me than for Bella. "I was thinking about your change and when you wanted to do it? I was also thinking about how, if you still wanted to, fake your death."

I watched her closely, looking for any sign of anxiety or tension, even a hint that she no longer wanted to be changed, that she no longer wanted an eternity with me. Without saying a word, Bella flipped over so she was lying on top of me, her chin resting on my chest. Her soulful brown eyes looked deep into mine.

What did she see? What did I want her to see? I felt her warm hand squeeze mine and I realized that I stared off into space. When our eyes met again, there was so much love and understanding that I was speechless.

"Don't," she whispered, "don't beat yourself up over this. This was _my _choice to be changed. Now together we will figure out when the time is right for that to happen." She reached up to stroke my check, her touch grounding me to her. "But, don't you _ever_ think for one second that I'll go back on my choice. I am not giving up anything to be with you, I am _gaining_ everything to be with you."

She paused, looking to see if I believed her and I did. With every fiber of my being I did. I saw the conviction of her choice, it was the same look she had in her eyes when she gave me her ring. She chose me, she wanted me and there was no turning back for her.

I nodded, letting her know that heard her, believed her, trusted in her. She was right, I asked her to make a choice. Now that she has made it, I shouldn't be questioning it, which in turn is questioning her and her commitment, her love to me. There is where absolute trust and faith came to play in a relationship. If she did change her mind, I had to have faith that she would tell me and she needed to trust that I would respect it.

We both scrambled to sit up, facing each other, our hands clasped together. We needed this connection to get through this difficult discussion. "What are your thoughts? Your family has more experience in this sort of thing."

I nodded, "We have. I guess the first thing is deciding when you want the change to happen. That is up to you. Depending on when you want to change, that will help narrow down the other things we need to do. So, the question remains, how old do you want to be for eternity?" I smiled at her, just to try and lighten the mood.

I knew this would be one of the hardest things for her to decide, because in essence she is trying to determine when to leave Charlie behind. I knew that Charlie weighed heavily on her mind as she pondered her choice. Even now, that she knows she will eventually leave him behind, actually setting a timetable for that won't be easy, no matter when it happens.

I watched as she bit her lip in concentration, her gaze firmly planted on our hands as she ran through every possible scenario in her head. I kept silent, but I continued to rub my thumb on her hand in soft circles, a small reminder that I was here if she needed me. Even though I knew it was futile, I once again tried to probe the silence of her mind, just to get a hint at what she was thinking. But like always, I was met with a frustrating wall of nothingness.

With a deep shuddering sigh, Bella lifted her tear filled eyes, her lower lip quivering. I wanted to swoop in and kiss every tear away, but I held myself in check, I needed to follow her lead. "Soon, like after graduation. I don't want to turn nineteen."

Part of me rejoiced that she wanted it to happen so soon, another part wanted to talk her out of it. I listened to neither and stayed silent. I could sense she had more to say.

"I have no real desire or even need to go to college right now. I have been applying simply to pacify my parents. I don't know what I want to study and honestly I just want to start my life with you. But I want him to see me graduate; it's the least I can give him."

I nodded; I could understand her need to give him something.

"Ok, what about our engagement, do want to tell him now, later, never? If we wait to tell him, we could work it into our plans, unless you want a wedding and have him give you away."

Her head was shaking before I finished speaking, "No, I don't want a big wedding, at all. That isn't me. Couldn't we just go to Vegas or something? I just don't think Charlie will be accepting of me marrying so young as it is."

I could practically hear Alice screaming at the idea that Bella wanted to elope, but I was all for it if that was what Bella wanted. It's not like we couldn't have another wedding down the road, I mean Rose and Em have had three so far.

"If that is what you want, sure. I don't care, love. I just want to be married to you."

Her face blushed at my declaration. She squeezed my hand telling me she felt the same.

"But I have one request and this is non-negotiable. I want my change to take place after we fake everything, because I need to see, to be there."

Her voice dropped to a whisper at the end. There was no need for her to clarify what she meant. She wanted to attend her own funeral. What I didn't know was if it was a way for her to torture herself, or a way for her to punish herself for the choice she was making. But I refused to question her, this was her choice. We were going to do it her way as much as possible.

Over the next hour or so, we talked about ways to get everything accomplished; car accident, plane or another tragic ending. She told me she wanted to get married before we fake our deaths, and she wanted Charlie to know about it, after the fact. So we focused on making our elopement as part of our plan. We agreed not to make any final plans until we consulted with Alice and the rest of the family.

I could tell that our discussion was taking its toll on her. Her shoulders sagged and she looked so very tired and sad. I hated that we talked about it; but I also knew she needed the space and freedom to talk about it without the pressure of my family.

Gathering her in my arms, I settled her on my lap, "Enough for now. Let's make you lunch."

With a heavy sigh she nodded her head, she took my hand and together we worked to make her lunch. I was slicing a few tomato slices for her BLT, when I heard her quietly whispering.

"It's almost over isn't it?"

I knew what she meant; I could feel it as well. "Yea. What do you feel?"

I knew what I felt, that sense of completeness and oneness. The turmoil I had been in before was gone, replaced by stark clarity, focus and purpose. Bella was my purpose in life, I was meant to love her. But I longed to know how she felt, to see if my feeling were reciprocated.

She closed her eyes, trying to gather her thoughts. "It's like I am whole. The craziness, the longing for you is gone. I can feel you in me." There was such love and adoration in her voice, there was no mistaking the truth in her words.

"Me too, love. I feel complete in you." I placed a soft kiss on her cheek and went back to finishing her lunch. I placed the slices of tomato on a plate and was moving to give it to her when her arms snaked around me.

"Lunch can wait, but I can't." The love and lust was thick in her voice.

It seemed only fitting that since I started our bonding she would finish it. When I turned, her eyes were hooded and she looked sexy as hell. In one smooth move she whipped her shirt off and moved to take off mine. My hands busied themselves with the clasp on her bra, which quickly joined the small pile of clothes at our feet.

When were both completely shirtless, in unison we reached for the others pants. I pulled on the tie that was holding her sweat pants up; she was busy unsnapping the buttons on my jeans. We both pushed them down as far as they went, and then finished removing them ourselves.

Not a word was spoken, but our eyes said plenty. Hers were needy and raw; I could feel the pull of her to me. I sensed our connection; it vibrated in the air between us. The electricity ever present in each touch was charging the air, making it thick and intense.

My eyes told her how much I loved her and craved her. That now that I knew she was mine, I had to know that I was hers. The feel of her skin beneath my fingers was like silk, warm silk. There was a longing deep in me that needed to feel connected to her one last time, that wanted to make her cry out for me, just for me.

We ended up by the sofa and before I could pull us down, Bella was on her knees and my boxers were around my ankles and her tongue was licking the underside of my shaft. I hissed in pleasure, the warmth of her tongue combined with heady arousal pulsing through me was almost too much.

I threaded my fingers through her hair as her tongue bathed my cock in her moist mouth. My head fell back against my shoulders as I got lost in the sensations. With each suck, with each flick of her tongue on my aching cock, I could feel myself being drawn closer to her. For a small moment, her heart beat in my quiet chest and our pants were synchronized.

She hummed and nibbled, licked and pumped my cock with long and sure strokes. The scent of her arousal was growing more potent and I knew she was just as turned on by sucking me off as I was watching her do it. But I didn't want to come this way. No, I wanted to be buried deep inside her, the ultimate connection.

With heavy reluctance I pulled her off me and up on her feet, her lips turned up in the hottest smirk I had ever seen. She knew the effect she had on and I wanted to show her I could do the same. Bending down, I captured her lips in a slow, sensual kiss, while my hands snaked up to cup her breasts. They were very warm and the nipples were already hard and puckered. As my tongue explored her mouth, my fingers flicked her nipples. I swallowed the groans that fell from her mouth.

Her entire body melted into mine, leg to leg, thigh to thigh, chest to chest, and mouth to mouth. I could feel her blood thrumming through her body, her warm breath mingled with my cool and together we created such an intoxicating aroma.

I carefully guided us to the couch where she fell on top of me with my hands firmly attached to her nipples and my mouth to her. Soon our kisses grew deeper, more demanding and passionate. My hands pulled and plucked, her hands never stopped roaming my body, and it was as if she was memorizing every line of my body.

Her body rocked back and forth above me, her head thrown back as I continued my assault on her neck, shoulders, and breasts, any and every exposed piece of flesh.

Now," she panted, her head shaking back and forth, "I need you now, Edward."

Her voice was forceful and demanding and I wanted nothing more than to follow her commands. With a flick of my wrist, her thong was in shreds and joined my boxers on the floor. I swear that Bella growled when I did that and my cock twitched at the thought.

Bella firmly grasped the base of my cock, swirled it around in her juices and then in one easy move, I was fully encased in her tight, wet, warm pussy. Our simultaneous moans filled the cottage and she stilled as her body accommodated my size. Her hear beat a furious rhythm. I gritted my teeth against the urge to pound myself into her; I knew this was Bella's show.

Her eyes were tightly clenched shut and her hands gripped the tops of my shoulders in what would be a death grip for most humans. Ever so slightly I felt her hips move in a circular motion and it drove me crazy.

"You're killing me here, Bella. Fuck you feel so good." But I couldn't hold back any longer and I flexed my hips upward and drove my cock deeper into Bella.

"Oh, shit, yes. That felt good." With that said, Bella began riding me hard and fast. She used my shoulders for leverage as she pounded relentlessly up and down. I added an upward thrust of my hip as she was coming down which resulted in me hitting all the right spots.

A light sheen of sweat broke out on Bella's body; her lower lip was held between her teeth. My hands and tongue continued to play with her bouncing tits. I left more love bites. Even thought they wouldn't be seen, we would know that were there.

The whimpers and cries from Bella spurred me on, I wanted to see her fall apart one last time before we had to join the real world. But from somewhere in my gut I could feel something growing. It wasn't the start of my orgasm, not it was more, primal.

Above me, Bella was lost in own world, she worked herself on my cock over and over. Her breaths were puffing over my face, her heart was the beat that she followed as pounded herself onto me, and her cries were music to my ears.

Through the pants I heard her disjointed words, incoherent mumbles and swear words mixed with a single word that rocked me to the core. "Yours, yours…all yours." That primal feeling that was rumbling in my gut, flared at her words. Instead of the urge to claim her for me, I wanted to be hers.

With that thought an overwhelming sensation of light and heat zipped through my body. I crushed Bella to me and she cried out in the shift of position as she never stopped her frantic thrusts of her hips.

"Yours," I moaned out loud.

"Oh, God," cried Bella. "Too fucking much."

We both sped up and I could feel my orgasm behind the heat, it was charging through me. Bella's pussy gripped me hard, her walls pulsing fast and furious, her juices coated my dick and her thigh, the sound of skin on skin joined the sounds of passion.

"So close," we whispered together. I felt myself swell, Bella clenched down even harder. I needed to be closer to her. Bella must have felt the same; she buried her head in my neck and pulled my head to her. I also buried my head into her shoulder and wrapped my arms as far as they would go around her.

We moved as one, she breathed I did too; I moved she did as well. For this one cosmic moment we were one, I wasn't sure you could tell where one of us ended and the other began. Our chants told each other that we belonged to the other and that only served to make the bonds connecting us stronger. I could feel it and I bet Bella did as well.

We were close, so very close and with a cry from Bella and a final thrust from me we both fell over the cliff together. Our bodies stilled as the waved of pleasure washed over us. I could feel Bella's pussy as it fluttered and convulsed. I came in huge long spurts that seemed endless. The air on our skin sparked. I could feel every inch of her.

With a last shuddering breath, Bella collapsed against me. Her heart thudded so hard I feared it would leap out of her chest. She licked her lips and tried to say something, but she was gasping for air.

Smoothing her hair, I rocked with her. "Shh, it's ok." I felt her hot tears as they spilled into my chest. I knew the intensity of what we experienced was too much for her human mind and body to contain. "I felt it to."

"So much. Felt it in my heart, in my soul. You were there." She held herself close to me and I didn't mind in the least. I needed to feel her close as well.

We sat there, with me still inside her for several moments, until she was calm. When she finally pulled away, I could see the change in her, I could feel it in me. Part of my soul was in her, as was my love and my life. But I could feel her soul in me as well. I knew she saw it the minute she smiled at me.

Our bonding was complete, but it was just the beginning. We had our entire lives laid out before us, with in reaching distance. Never again would I doubt where I belonged, where _we _belonged.

**A/N: Aww.. their bonding is done.. time to go back into the real world! Ok.. soo.. I did a rough outline of the rest of this story and I am looking at about 8 more chapters. From here on out, each chapter will encompass an entire month or so. It made me sad when I realized this... but.. we all knew it was gonna have to end soon!**

**Come and friend me on Facbook- W Vampgirl Fanfic- I give teasers for upcoming chapters and talk about all my stories!**

**Ok... it was brought to my attention by one of my amazing readers that TMC is coming up on 1000 reviews...so.. *sheepish smile* could ya help it reach over that? Come on.. show me the love. You know I respond to all signed reviews.. so..please.. click that button...let me hear ya!**


	34. Ch 33

**A/N: I am back! The mating is over and many of you were sad to see it end.. but it had to at some point! TMC OFFICALLY HAS OVER 1000 REVIEWS! You guys rock! I am soo overwhelmed and gracious for everyone who reads and then leaves me your thoughts and love... you are THE BEST! *mwah***

**Well... we enter a transitional chapter...got to get them back to real life... **

**Much love to CullensTwiMistress...ahhh babygurl...what can I say that hasn't been said!**

**Once again.. I still don't own anything Twilight related... but after I post this I will own my very own BD Midnight showing ticket... do you? ENJOY!**

Chapter 33

The first day back at school was excruciating. I had gotten used to the relative peace and quiet in my head when I was with Bella. It was soothing and for the first time in my very long existence, I felt relaxed. But now, sitting outside in my car, there was nothing but noise.

I felt Bella's gloved hand on my leg. "Trying to get used to the noise again?"

It was comforting that I didn't have to explain what was bothering me that somehow Bella just knew. It had been like that since we left the cottage two days ago. Carlisle told us it was part of being mated, that intrinsic understanding of what your mate was feeling. It was the same for all of them. I loved it, because I finally felt as if I understood what was going on in Bella's head.

The entire family was excited when Carlisle and Esme escorted us home. Alice was vibrating so much she was almost blurry to my eyes. Jasper sat in the corner of the room and absorbed the heightened positive emotions and sent out excess creating an almost never ending loop of happiness. Emmett had eyes only for Bella as he swung her around so fast I worried that she would puke. Instead she giggled like a little kid when Emmett declared Bella his hero.

"Why, Em? And wouldn't it be heroine, not hero?" Her wink told him that she was just messing with him.

He wrapped his massive arm around her tiny shoulders and gave her a mega-watt dimpled smile, "You, my dear Bella, did what I thought was damn near impossible." She frowned at his words. "You managed to get our dear Eddie boy laid _and _actually got him to relax. That, Bella, makes you a hero, heroine, the Pope, a rock star or a sorceress in my book."

"Sex agrees with you, Eddie. That stick finally came loosened from your ass."

"Language, Emmett! Please," begged Esme as she came from placing Bella's things in our room while everyone laughed at Emmett's crudeness.

Emmett shot a perplexed look at me when I failed to yell at him for calling me Eddie twice and making fun of my sex life. I simply winked at him as I wound my arms around Bella.

_What the fuck? Who are you and what have you done to Edward?_

I sent him a smirk and another wink. For a blessed few seconds, Emmett's mind was completely silent. I laughed at that and then turned towards the rest of the family.

I was pleased to see that Rose was with the other women as they talked to Bella about our bonding. Her thoughts were very cordial and I detected a faint hint of kindness. There was no outward or inward display of hostility or anger towards Bella. She even laughed when Bella as she told them about the snowman we made.

I left the girls to their chit chat and went with Carlisle outside to talk. We ran over the river to get distance from the house. While I was in no way ashamed of my bonding, I didn't see how I had to broadcast it to everyone. I may have opened more to my family over the several months, but I was still a private person. Plus, all the emotions and memories were too fresh, I still felt tingly and hyper aware.

We found an overturned tree trunk and wordlessly sat down. It had been too long since me and Carlisle talked. We used to do it much more than we had been. I never realized how much I missed it until right then.

_I've missed these talks with you. _

I chuckled, "I was thinking the same thing." I grew slightly somber, "I feel like I should apologize. I never wanted to distance myself like that, you know."

Carlisle paused, choosing his words with care. "I know. I think we all had a part to play in it." He let that hang in the air. I knew he was trying to spread the blame, trying to keep me from shouldering it all. But I knew I was in the wrong. I was angry, sad, bitter and lonely. I took out on the only family I had.

"It's all water under the bridge, Edward."

I snorted in response.

"Or maybe you could look at it another way." Another pause. "Maybe it was how things were meant to be. You had to know what you were missing to know what you found."

Not another word was spoken as his words clung to some place deep inside me. I had wondered before how things would have been if I had stayed in Forks last year and meet Bella then. Would I have recognized her for who she was? Would I have been able to accept that my mate was a human? I tend to think I would have denied it, tried to fight it.

_From the look on your face, I see your thinking about what I said. Come up with any conclusions?_

I chuckled, "Just that I think your right. How did ya get to be so smart?"

_Oh, father's knows best? Or, how about being a few hundred years old, I picked up a few things?_

Together we both laughed and just like that, I felt as if I was his son once again.

_So, everything went well?_

I knew he wasn't prying into the more personal and intimate aspects of our mating. No, he wanted firsthand knowledge of the difference between a mating with two vampires and one with a human.

I nodded, unable to keep the smile off my face. "Everything went extremely well."

I heard Carlisle's chuckle as he interpreted my smile. Over the next hour I told him about the feelings, the urges. I tried very hard to keep the more intimate things to myself; they were just for Bella and me. There was no need to share them. He asked questions about how Bella responded to the intense feelings and I did my best to explain. He was planning on talking to her at some point but didn't want to overwhelm her. I told him that Bella expected him to talk to her about it at some time.

We decided to go back home and on the way I hunted a few deer that we crossed paths with. Upon arriving at home, Bella was eating dinner and watching a movie with Alice and Rose. She spent the night as Charlie wasn't expecting her 'back in town' until later the next day. So I had one more night where I could curl up next to her.

The next day we sat and gave Bella her cover story for Colorado. Alice when over the souvenirs and other shopping bags she had at the ready. We also spent some time talking about her change. We informed the family that she wanted to be changed after graduation, but before she turned nineteen.

But the biggest fun came when Alice and Bella squared off when it came to the wedding.

"I don't care what you say, Alice. I don't want a huge wedding. It's not me." The exasperation in her voice was evident as she sat there glaring at Alice across the table.

Alice, not to be outdone, was staring right back at Bella, pouting and trying to make sad eyes at Bella. "Come on, every girl wants a nice wedding, a beautiful dress. It's the ultimate human experience. One you won't get a second chance at." Her voice was soft and sweet, as if she could cajole Bella into complacency.

But my girl wasn't to be swayed; her head was swinging violently from side to side. "When have I _ever_ acted like a normal human girl, Alice? I am in love with and mated to a vampire, I am going to fake my own death and then going to be turned into a vampire myself. Where in the human life continuum does that scream normal? Plus, really…a dress? For me? Have I ever expressed a desire to get all dressed up? Ummm, let me think…_NEVER_! I refuse to budge on this. Plus, Edward backs me up on this."

Bella sat back with a triumphant smile on her face and turned to give me a brilliant smile. She mouthed _'I love you'_ and then faced Alice with a steely gaze.

Alice looked at me, with her eyes narrowed. I just smirked back and grabbed Bella's hand, presenting a unified front. She huffed, and then looked back at Bella.

"Fine, but I get to choose the dress you get married in!" She crossed her arms, glaring at Bella to make a fuss.

"Only if I get veto power, otherwise, no deal." Bella crossed her arms and stuck her tongue out at Alice.

This was too funny to watch and from the thoughts of my family, they agreed with me. Carlisle and Esme hid their snickers in their hands, Rose was silently wishing for Bella to win, Jasper was adding to their charged up feelings and Emmett….well Em was looking at it as if it was the greatest tennis match on earth. He was almost likening it to girl on girl porn, but then realized it was his sisters and backed away from that.

Alice scowled at Bella sticking out her tongue, but she was deep in thought.

"I get to plan your next wedding, no questions asked, and no limitations."

"In fifty years," retorted Bella, looking rather bored.

"Deal."

"Deal."

And like that it was over. Alice stormed away grumbling something about stubborn humans and then ice sculptures and champagne fountains. The idea that Alice had the next fifty years to plan a lavish wedding was downright frightening. But, honestly I didn't care one way or the other, as long I was married to Bella, we could get married as many times as she wanted.

Bella did a little dance when Alice left the room and everyone broke out laughing.

"I never thought I would see the day when I would bet against Alice," Emmett stated as he ruffled Bella's hair. "But leave it to you, short stuff to make it happen."

"Short stuff? What kind of nickname is that Em?" asked Bella.

"One that fits you," he replied before he left in a flash.

Bella just shook her head and laughed. The rest of the day passed quietly and I was bummed when I had to drop her off back home. A few hours later, Bella texted me to come over because she needed me to help her fall asleep.

So here we sat, still in my car in front of school and I had no desire to go inside. I felt as if everything had changed. No longer was I remotely satisfied with limited role I had to play. Now, I wanted to just be with Bella, to just be us. We were so spoiled in the cottage. I had her all to myself and now I needed to share her with the rest of the fucking world and it seemed so unfair.

Begrudgingly I got out of the car and helped Bella out as well. Somberly we walked hand in hand to her first period class where I left her. She gently kissed my cheek, her hands and lips leaving a spot of fire on my face.

"Love you, Edward." Her eyes looked deep into mine, telling me that we could do this.

I nodded, she was right, we could do this. "Love you too, baby." I kissed her cheek as well and left for class.

All went well until just before lunch. I was walking with Bella when Mike fucking Newton thoughts were being blasted in my head. He sneered at Bella as we walked towards him on our way to lunch. His eyes greedily ogled her body, looking at her breasts way more than I was comfortable with. But when I heard;

_Damn Bella looks hot! She looks like she got fucked finally. Look at those hips. They were made for grabbing while I fuck the shit out of her. Although, I'd have to gag her or something, to keep her from talking. Yea..I would so do the freak girl._

He then added to his punishment when he grabbed Bella by the wrist and told her, "Being freshly fucked agrees with you."

That was my limit. I snatched his hand away from her wrist and then bent his whole arm backwards. I pushed his back up against the nearest locker and got right into his face. The desire to kill this puny little asshole was strong, the vampire in me delighted in the idea. But the man in me knew that Bella would never approve and I wanted to be worthy of her love.

"Don't you touch her, ever again!" I let loose a low snarl, enough for him to feel since we were so close.

For some reason the filter between Mike's brain and mouth was malfunctioning because he decided he needed to keep talking.

"Oh, come on Edward. It was about time someone tapped that ass..."

I didn't wait to see if he would finish that thought as my hand connected to his nose and I was rewarded with a crunch of bone and a spurt of blood. I wanted to laugh when even the smell of his blood was revolting. I let go of him as I heard the principal walking down the hallway.

When he saw Mike in a pile on the floor clutching his broken and bloody nose he demanded to know what happened. I explained that Mike grabbed Bella roughly and then he spouted off some inappropriate words and that I backhanded him to get him to let go. But, golly gee, I didn't know my own strength, I must have broken his nose. I pretended to be horrified that I hurt Mike. From the corner of my eyes I noticed that Bella was trying hard not to laugh. I thought I was giving an Oscar worthy performance.

Luckily Bella wrist showed signs of bruising and Mike was coherent enough to be honest when the principle questioned him, that yes he did grab her without her permission. I was given a stiff lecture; Mike was given detention and a ride to the emergency room. All in all, I thought it was a good first day back.

"If you ever want to try human, I'll let you snack on Newton," I joked to Bella.

She gave me a look of horror and shock, but her giggle soon after gave her away. "Eww, I would like to think that I would have better taste, even for a newborn. Can't I go for, I don't know, some hot British actor?"

I laughed because I knew exactly who she was talking about. She tried to say we looked alike, I didn't see it. Plus I could do a far better British accent than he could.

"No, you're staying far away from him. You're mine."

I nuzzled her neck as we continued to the lunch room. She patted my head, kinda of condescendingly if I might say.

"Ok, baby. I'll stay away." She shook her head as we made our way to Alice.

Ever since that day, our life fell into an easy routine; school, home, nighttime and then repeat. But we used the time wisely; we knew we needed to start setting up things for after graduation. So we spent time at her house, looking over colleges, filling out applications. We may have let Charlie hear us talk about wanting to go to school together.

Bella confided that Charlie had tried to talk to her several times about plans after school. When she didn't give him much, he hinted at wanting to know my plans. She knew he was trying to get Bella to say that we were making plans together. She laughed when she recounted a story in which Charlie got flustered when she flippantly stated that maybe she would just follow me around after school and not go to college.

There were also dinners at her house as well. I wanted Charlie to like me, to approve of me. It was also the only way I knew how to show him that I could and would take care of Bella. It felt as if it was the least I could do. She was leaving him behind to be with me. I knew he would never know, but there was that Victorian part of me that wanted to prove to him that I was always going to provide for Bella.

We held periodic meetings with my family in which we talked about plans after school. Alice was having a hard time seeing things and she wasn't sure if it was because no real plans were being made or if it was something else. So, we continued to make everyone around think we were planning on college.

With all the talk about life after college, both Bella and I made some important choices. The first was that I wanted to ask for Charlie's blessing to marry her. Bella was a bit hesitant. When I explained that I wasn't asking his permission, which was a hard compromise for me, but asking for his blessing, she acquiesced. Later she came back to me with a pretty hard request. She didn't want to know ahead of time when I was going to change her. She just wanted to bite her with no warning. When she said that, I was torn and conflicted.

Did she not know how hard it was going to be for me? I had never done something like this. I needed support; I needed Carlisle to be there. Seeing my panicked expression, she explained her thoughts. She was worried that if she knew ahead of time, she would be too anxious and tense. She figured that emotions and tensions would be running high and she wondered if maybe she was ignorant of it all, if it would help.

I told her that I would need to think about it and talk to Carlisle before I agreed. She accepted that and we dropped the subject. I talked to Carlisle about it and he said that with enough planning on our end, it could work. We had already planned to take her to a place in eastern Canada. It was remote and had access to an abundance of wildlife, a perfect place for a newborn vamp. With some modifications to the original plan, we could make it work.

I was still unsure. It wasn't as if her blood instilled any bloodlust. Since our bonding, her scent had begun to return, but it held no allure to me. The burn was minimal and there was no excess of venom that I needed to contend with. So I knew that all of my reservations were in my head. It took Alice and her vision to show me that there was a way. I sat replaying what she showed me so many times; to the point that I knew I would grant Bella this request. She asked so little of me, so I would do it for her.

I spent every night in her room. We learned fast at the start of the month that being alone at night wasn't going to work anymore. If it wasn't Bella's inability to sleep without me, then it was my incessant worrying that something was going to go wrong. Carlisle explained that it was difficult for newly mated vampires to be apart. Neither Bella nor I cared what it was; we just wanted to be together.

Of course, the fact that we were in her house didn't help when we were both horny. Thank heavens Charlie had to work the night shift for two weeks straight. Those nights were filled with tender kisses, caresses and even sweeter love making. It was a switch from the frenzy and intensity of the bonding we experienced. There was something almost magical about just holding her closely as we joined as one.

Toward the end of the month, we were both stressing about Alice's fuzzy visions and I knew we needed a diversion. When I heard that a community theater company in Port Angeles was going to be performing _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ I knew it would be perfect. I arranged for Alice to get her a dress, I got Charlie to allow a late curfew during the week and I made reservations at an Italian restaurant.

Bella knew that I had a surprise for her. She hated that I was making a fuss, but the smile in her eyes gave her away. She secretly loved the attention. Two hours after Alice had sequestered Bella in her room, she descended the stairs in flowing black skirt that reached her ankles and a fitted gray silk button down shirt.

"Bella, love, you look simply gorgeous." I kissed her cheek and tucked her hand into the crook of my arm as I escorted her to the Aston. The trip to PA didn't take long and when we pulled in front of the restaurant, she gave me a perplexed look.

"I am making this as close as to a real date as possible." I then winked at her which caused her to erupt into a fit of giggles.

Our dinner was lovely. I showed Bella the many creative was to make it look like I was eating and she told me of an email she got from her mom that detailed her recent bungee jumping adventure. In no time, it was time to head over to the theater. When we were safely tucked into the car I produced a simple black blindfold.

"What's that for," asked Bella with some trepidation.

"I just want where we are going to be a surprise." I gave her my best dazzling eyes and watched as she caved.

"You are one dangerous creature, Edward Cullen," she stated as I slipped the blindfold over her eyes.

I held her hand as we drove the few blocks to the theater, sensing her nerves in not being able to see what's going on around her. I helped her out of the car and safely escorted her to our seats. Knowing there was another ten minutes to show time and that Bella would hate being in the dark the whole time, I gently removed the covering from her eyes and handed her the program.

She blinked a few times to get her eyes to adjust to low lighting before she picked up the program to read the title of the play.

"Really? Midsummer Night's Dream? This is perfect!" She threw herself into my arms and kissed me thoroughly. When I knew she would need air, I pulled away and tucked her close to me.

"Just enjoy, love."

So for the next two hours Bella watched with rapt attention as the fairies and all of their love spells they created caused havoc and chaos. The smiles from Bella were infectious as was the way she would recite her favorite lines. I enjoyed that I could make her happy with something as simple as an evening with community theater.

It wasn't until we were walking back to the car, that I was struck by a quote by William Blake:

_Love to faults is always blind,  
>Always is to joy inclined.<br>Lawless, winged, and unconfined,  
>And breaks all chains from every mind.<em>

Suddenly, I could feel the wings that Bella's love gave me and that there was nothing more I wanted to do but to scoop her up and fly off into our forever.

**A/N: Sooo... what did ya think? Told ya Mike would get his... hehe Show me love... click review.. cuz ya know you want to!**

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	35. Ch 34

**A/N: *whew* Finally got this one done... it was a hard one...nothing felt right... ANYWHO! To all those who alerted, faved and reviewed... THANK YOU! I can't say it enough. It's floors me the pimpage I hear is being done for TMC.. you don't know how much I appreciate it! *mwah***

**Love to CTM.. girl...fluv you... you are my rock, my soul and most days your the sister I need...**

**I wish I owned Twilight and all that goes with it.. instead I own 4 books, 3 movies and one ticket stub for BD... *sniffs the air* What's that? Do I smell some lemony freshness? ENJOY!**

Chapter 34

February seemed to come out of nowhere. It was like it was the middle of January and then it was early February. Of course this revelation freaked out Bella who was busy stressing over our final English project. So much so, we were spending every night working on it. I didn't mind as it was time spent with her, but there were times when I wished I could just write the damned thing myself.

Of course Bella would hear of no such thing. "Edward, stop your fucking sighing and rolling your eyes."

She was looking at me over the edge of her laptop which was situated on the kitchen table. We were trying to finish the last page of our ten page paper and she insisted on doing it herself.

"Come on, Bella. I just want to get this thing done so we can spend some time together." I had just finished the last part of our presentation and was waiting very impatiently for Bella to finish the paper.

Now it was her who rolled her eyes at me. "Sorry that I can't do my homework at vampire speed." She glared at me as she continued to muter, "Just you wait till I'm a vamp, gonna show you, asshole."

I held back my laughter because I knew it would only piss Bella off. But she was adorable in all of her tiger kitten glory. I am sure she felt tough and ferocious, but really she was just plain adorable, at least to me.

But I was smart enough to know that Bella could make my life miserable if I didn't keep my mouth shut. So while she toiled away at the last little bit of our paper, I turned my thoughts towards Valentine's Day. It was less than a week away and I wanted to make it memorable. It was our first after all and it was the only one we would have with her human.

My first thoughts were to take her out, dinner and then some fabulous outing like maybe a hot air balloon ride or something. But the more I thought about it, the more impersonal it sounded. It made me realize that I wanted this one to be about us, our love, and our lives. I had been busy with her gift for a while now and it was nearly complete.

Bella had already told me that I couldn't spend a dime on her gift and I was lucky that I was already heading in that direction before she issued that directive. So, doing something extravagant was out of the picture.

Speaking to the men in my family was no help. Em always gave Rose jewelry of some kind; Carlisle take Esme to a fancy hotel for some alone time and well Jasper just gave Alice what she wants before they headed into the forest for destructive sex. I was able to cajole everyone to vacate the house so we could do something there. My problem now was trying to figure out what to do.

I slumped forward and placed my chin on the table. I wanted to bang my head against it in the hope that inspiration would strike, but I knew I would only end up destroying the table instead. So I watched Bella which was able to calm and center me like nothing else.

She was so intently concentrating on what she was writing that she never realized I was staring at her. She was so beautiful, that sometimes I was struck stupid by her. Even now, when I was sure she would think she looked less than stellar, she was stunning. She had thrown her hair into a messy bun on top of her head to keep it out of her eyes, she was chewing on her lip on and off as she thought about what she wanted to type. From my vantage point I watched as her fingers flew over the keys, then observed as she hunted through her notes for something she had scribbled earlier.

She was fascinating in her focus. You tell that she gave it her complete undivided attention. But even more than that, she was determined to pull her weight in this project. Never once did she ever give into my suggestions that I just do it. In fact, many times she looked downright offended when I asked. She was smart, far more than she gave herself credit for, and she was heads and shoulders above most of the other students in school. She saw the world and the people in it in a unique but highly intuitive way.

I couldn't wait until she was changed and all of that was heightened. I knew from Alice's visions that she was going to be an exquisite vampire, even more so than Rosalie. I had my suspicions that she would be a great addition to the many debates and discussions I shared with Carlisle and that she wouldn't hesitate to prove us wrong. She would be as kind and selfless as Esme and her calm demeanor would be a welcome addition for Jasper.

The more I thought about her as a vampire, the more I had wondered if it was possible for someone to be born to be a vampire. If there was, Bella would be that creature. Always a step out of pace with the humans, she seemed more sure and relaxed around my family. Bella was complete otherworldly, even more so than me.

Bella disturbed my thoughts with a gentle hand to my head. Her hands ran through my hair and I felt myself melt into the warmth of her touch. "Done, love?" My eyes were closed as I got lost in the sensations of her touch.

"Finally!" she proclaimed, triumph ringing in her voice. "Do you want to look it over, for corrections and edits?"

I could hear the weariness in her voice. I shook my head, "No, let's go relax. I'll look it over later."

Without waiting for her to answer, I clasped our hands together and dragged her to the couch. I settled her in front on me and I began to gently knead the stiff and knotted muscled in her shoulders and neck. We never spoke; there was just the rhythmic sound of Bella's breathing. I used it as a guide to tell me when Bella was finally completely relaxed. When there was no more tension in her body, I engulfed her in my arms.

"Felling better?" I murmured against her temple as I placed tender kisses in her hair.

"Yes, thanks."

For the rest of the evening we didn't speak, we just held each other until Charlie came home and sent me on my way.

The week flew by and it was the morning of Valentine's Day. I finally figured out what we were going to do and I knew it was going to be absolutely perfect. My entire family had vacated the house. My parents had gone away for a few days for some alone time. Jasper and Alice went on an extended hunting trip and Em and Rose were using the cottage.

Bella and I both threatened them to keep it intact. In fact I even bet Em that if he could keep the cottage intact, I would flash the school during graduation. To sweeten the pot, I even bet Rose that if she didn't destroy anything I would let her pick out the next three cars I buy, no questions asked. Both of them eagerly took me up on it. In secret I told Bella I didn't think they could do it.

I busied myself with the last few preparations as I waited for Bella to return. She was going to spend the night at my house as Charlie thought she was having a girl's night with my sisters. Just as I lit the last candle I heard Bella's truck as it turned into the drive. I met her at the door as she hopped out of the truck carrying her small overnight bag up the stairs and into the house.

I took the bag from her and placed it by the door as I pulled her in close and kissed her. We nibbled on each other's lips, soft, teasing little kisses. I could feel the blood as it rushed to her face, flushing her chilly cheeks. I deepen the kiss, making it harder, firmer and she responded by opening her mouth to my tongue. She tasted fresh, like snow. She pulled away from me to breathe and he eyes widened as she took in the living room.

She walked into the room further, her mouth opening in shock and maybe even surprise. I followed behind her and wrapped my arms around her, "Happy Valentine's Day, love."

I nuzzled her neck, placing small little kisses behind her ear, feeling her shiver in my arms. My tongue flicked out to get her ear lobe and her head lolled backwards, giving me more access to her neck. I reverently kissed the place I would place my mark upon her; my cock hardened in response.

"Did you do this all for me? Edward, you shouldn't have." She was shaking her head, still shocked that I would go to all this trouble for her. Didn't she understand I wanted to do this; I wanted to shower in my love.

"You deserve this," I told her, "this and so much more. This is a day to celebrate love and well we have lots of that."

Her giggle told me she wasn't going to make a big fuss. So I took her hand in mine and lead her further into the room. When we got to blanket I had spread out in front of the roaring fire, I gestured for her sit down.

"I'll be right back," I told her as I kissed her hair and scampered off to the kitchen. I wanted to make this night about her and show her just how deep my love for her goes. I opened the fridge to pull out the tray that was filled with meats, cheeses, fruits, veggies and other assorted finger foods. I also grabbed a bottle of sparkling grape juice and a glass.

I took the goodies back into the living room and set them on the blanket in front of Bella. She looked at the food I laid before her with rapt attention. She watched in wide eyed fascination as I opened the bottle of juice and poured her a bubbling glass. Once it was in her hand, I picked up a slice of cheese and held it up to her mouth.

Her face crinkled in an adorable confusion. I laughed. "I want to feed you. Please?" I gave her my most dazzling smile and smoldering eyes.

She looked on and gulped before she nodded yes. Over the next several minutes we talked and I feed her. We had taken to asking questions about our pasts. I was curious about Bella's as I wanted to help her remember once she was turned. Bella asked me about things she was fascinated about, learning about the historical events I had lived through and my perceptions of them. Once she was full, I took the tray back to the kitchen.

When I got back in the room, I held my hand out to her, "Time for your present."

Bella glared at me, "Edward, promise me you didn't go overboard."

I smiled softly, "No, I didn't."

I took her into the music room and sat her on the piano bench. I pointed to the two small wrapped packages on top of the piano. "Open the bigger one."

She carefully took the larger gift in her hands and pulled the shimmery red wrapping off, revealing a leather bound book. With curiosity etched across her face, she looked at me.

"Open it," I encouraged her with a huge smile.

With even more caution, she pulled on the leather tie that held the book closed and turned the flap open. I knew what she would find written across the top; _La Storia del Nostro Amore_,then several pages of a musical composition. She flipped through the pages looking at them in wonder.

"Did you…is this…." I could see the tears welling up in her eyes and her lower lip beginning to tremble. "You wrote me a song?" she managed to choke out as a single tear fell from her eyes.

I wiped the stray tear away as I explained, "Yes, I wrote a song, for you, about us. Do you want to hear it?" She nodded yes.

"What does the title mean?" She asked as she gazed back at the hand written score.

"The Story of our Love," I translated, and then I murmured it in Italian.

She scooted over on the bench, making room for me to sit. I took a few seconds to center myself, to bring myself back to the place I was in when I first started to write the composition.

The quiet in the room was broken by the first faint notes of the melody. The quiet contemplation, tinged with loneliness. It grew in intensity, adding to the sadness of it all. Then, ever so subtly, the dynamic began to change; you could hear hope and longing. Sadness was replaced with optimism and loneliness was transformed into surprise.

Besides me, Bella was silent and stock still; I could feel the heat radiating off her and surrounding me as the music swelled and grew to such sweet intensity. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw her mouth open in astonishment as the song turned tender and romantic. I felt the subtle shift in the air when the music changed and you could feel the underpinnings of love and lust. Just like that, mood shifted and it felt heavy and tight, my skin tingled and I swear Bella moaned.

By the end of the song, I was breathing hard and Bella was quivering. No longer was her mouth open, but her eyes were closed and her entire body trembled. Slowly we turned towards each other and when she opened her eyes, I saw the unshed tears shinning.

"That was simply amazing…beautiful…almost too much for words." Suddenly she picked up my hand and placed it over her heart. Not only could I hear its accelerated thump, but I could feel as it pulsed under her paper thin skin. "That's what it did to me."

Before I could speak, she launched herself at me, and kissed me hard and passionate. Her hands twined their way through my hair, pulling me closer with urgency and need. Her tongued snaked out and traced my lips. She was the aggressor; she dominated as her lips moved over mine. Her lips nipped and sucked, her hold on me was tight.

Even when she pulled away to breathe, she arched her neck in an offering to me, and tugged me to where she needed me. Her hands kept up a constant motion through my hair, down my neck and across my shoulders. Then when she could breathe once again, she took my lips by force.

I could smell her arousal; it was thick and heavy in the air, heightened by the fire and her sudden show of dominance. It served to make me hard and needy. I wanted her and I wanted her _now!_ I pulled Bella across my lap so she was straddling me, her heat directly centered on my aching dick. We simultaneously grinded on each other and our moans filled the air.

Somewhere deep in my brain my mind was screaming to take her upstairs, that sex on a piano was no good. Jizz and piano strings did not mesh well, but the part of my brain located in my cock was telling me to fuck it. With the last shred of decency I had, I scooped her in my arms and we flew up the stairs.

When we were in our room, I wanted to slow things down, to worship her body like it was meant to be, but Bella was having none of that. The second I had her feet flat on the floor, she started tugging on my shirt. Once it was removed, her lips continued their frenzied pace on every inch of my skin.

Her tongue traced my collarbones while her fingers flicked my nipples, as her warm breath felt like silk on my chilled skin. Sensing her need for fast and dirty, I took her shirt and ripped it off her, causing Bella to moan against my chest. Her bra was next as it came off it shreds and my hands found her nipples already puckered and hard.

She sucked and bit on mine as I rolled and plucked hers. Our noises filled the silent room and it only spurred us further. I felt as Bella began to lick and kiss her way down my chest and to my stomach. When she got to my pants, she quickly undid the belt and unsnapped the button. In a move that rivaled vampires, both my jeans and my boxers were on the floor and Bella's mouth was wrapped tightly around my dick.

I hissed as she sucked hard and fast and my hands found purchase in her hair. She was nothing but a blur of tongue, teeth and wet heat. Her noises vibrated all throughout me and it only added to my arousal.

I closed my eyes, getting lost in the feel of her tongue as it swirled my head and her hand pumped the base of my cock.

"Feels so good, baby."

Harder and faster she went as the familiar coil began in my gut. Her free hand cupped my balls, tugging and rolling them. My hips flexed and I pushed my cock deeper into her mouth. She swallowed around me and I whimpered in pleasure.

It took all my willpower to pull away as I didn't want to cum just yet, as I was dying to lick the juices I could smell pouring out of her. I lifted her with one arm as I threw her on the bed. Before she could bounce a second time, I was all over her. One hand was working the button and zipper of her jeans, while the other was partnering with my mouth as we played with her nipples.

Bella's back arched off the bed as I sucked on her tit hard and pinched the other one. A gush of her juices damped her already soaked panties. I pushed down her jeans and thong enough that I could see her glistening pink pussy and licked my lips in anticipation.

My finger plunged in quick and fast causing Bella to scream out. "Oh, shit!"

I smirked, the rush I got from being able to cause her to lose control like that was heady, and my inner adolescent was doing a fist pump. I removed my mouth from her plump nipple and began to lick her clit. I was soft and gentle while my fingers assaulted her slick pussy. She tasted musky and tangy and all Bella. The moans and cries for more that flew out of her lips became my motivation to see her come undone.

Harder and faster I pumped as I suckled on her clit with even more pressure. Her juices continued to stream out of her as she thrashed on the bed above me. I could feel the telltale signs of her impending orgasms as her pussy started to flutter.

I looked at Bella to see her head thrown back and her eyes closed tightly as she panted and thrashed. The muscles in her neck strained, another sign, and her breathing turned into fast pants. Just as her pussy was going to clamp down on my fingers I pulled out and slammed deep inside her. My fingers held her hips as Bella arched off the bed at the sudden intrusion.

"Oh, fuck, Edward. PLEASE!" She begged.

Wanting to always please my lady, I pulled out fast and plunged right back in, balls deep. Her legs wrapped around my hips as she pushed on my ass with her heels. Her hands frantically sought out my hair as she tried to pull us even closer together.

Feeling that the need to move was overwhelming, I started to thrust in earnest. Her slick, tight and incredibly warm pussy held me like a vice. I could feel every ridge, every pulse of her slick core. I buried my face in her neck, inhaling her intoxicating sweet scent.

"Fuck, Bella. So good, so tight."

"More, Edward," she gasped as thrust her hips to meet mine.

Our room was filled with the smell of sex, her sweat and the unique sound of silk against stone. We were frenzied in our need, teeth scraping, hands clawing, hips thrusting, bodies writhing. I couldn't get enough of Bella and from her chants of 'more' and 'harder' I figured she felt the same way.

We both set a grueling rhythm, but our bodies met it, with gusto. Bella was so passionate and soft beneath me. Her pussy gripped and held me prisoner despite her human fragility. I pulled back to look into her eyes. They were bright and warm, full of love and desire.

"So beautiful," I couldn't help but tell her. Even with her flushed, sweaty skin, she was a stunning creature.

I felt her pussy begin to flutter and the coil that was spiraling in my gut, flared out, infusing me with a tingling sensation. I worked to push us both to the edge. I shifted her legs higher, causing me to go even deeper and I reached down between us and began to rub her clit.

"Ohh, yes… right there….more…" moaned Bella and I worked to give her what she wanted.

We strained and moved together as our orgasms approached. I could feel as it buildup, the tightening in my gut, and the pressure in my body.

"Bella, cum baby," I commanded as I pinched her clit.

"Ohh, fuck… yes… EDWARD!" her pussy sucked me in deeper and held me tight as her pussy walls fluttered rhythmically around my pulsing cock. I felt as my cum splashed deep inside her, my iciness mixing with her heat. Bella body trembled and shook as she worked her way back from her high. I held myself deep and still within her as the last few tremors worked their way down my spine.

When we were at last finally spent, I collapsed off to the side of her and gathered her in my arms. I placed small chaste kisses on her flushed cheeks, helping her to cool down. When her breathing slowed, she turned to face me, all sated and relaxed; there was no mistaking the love that shined in her eyes.

"Happy Valentine's Day," she murmured before she snuggled close and fell asleep.

A few hours later when she awoke, she finally got around to giving me my Valentine's Day gift. Once again I felt she outdid herself. She handed back the photo album she gave me for Christmas and inside were several of the photos we took while at the cottage. But the best part was when she handed me a large picture frame that had several cut outs of various sizes. Inside each she stuck other pictures from the cottage. There was one that I took of her sleeping that was in the center, there were ones we took outside and the ones we took as we lounged on the couch. But my favorite was the one of us together that I took when she was sleeping. Her eyes were closed and I held her close with my eyes closed. I had set the timer to get that one. At first glance, we both looked human and asleep, but more than that, we looked peaceful.

Her hands traced the picture that my eyes were glued to, "This is my favorite as well. We look so tranquil. For a brief moment I can imagine what you looked like as a human." In companionable silence we got lost in the pictures that captured moments of our life. It was one of the best Valentine's Days I had ever had.

The rest of the month followed a fairly routine pattern. Our English assignment was completed, turned in allowing Bella to finally relax. Mike never bothered us again; in fact he went out of his way to make sure he ignored us completely. Even his thoughts were clean. He turned his fixation onto Jessica and they soon became the 'it' couple of the school.

But it was towards the end of the month that things got a bit crazy. Bella was over for dinner and she was busy playing chess with Jasper when Alice waltzed inside and declared that her visions had cleared up. We all clamored over to her, inquiring as to what she saw, what was going to be the best course of action and where we went from here.

Over the next hour, we poured over calendars and re-hashed decisions. When we were close to figuring out our entire plan, Emmett asked the question that none of us thought to ask.

"So, what changed that made your visions suddenly clearer?"

Alice had a thoughtful look on her face when she turned to face Bella. We watched in silence as Bella looked at Alice and Alice conveyed some message to her.

The quiet was broken with Alice's simple question, aimed at Bella, "You going to tell them, or am I?"

I looked over at Bella who suddenly couldn't look back at me.

"Bella?" I asked when she said nothing.

She sighed and then turned to look at me, "I want to go to Jacksonville, for Spring Break."

**A/N: *cue dramatic music* Hmmm Bella wanting to go to Spring Break what is that all about? *smiles innocently***

**Come find me on Facebook: Witchy Vampgirl FanFic- link is on my profile.. I post teasers about TMC and I love talking to my readers *waves at sholtsclaw***

**Ok... leave me some love.. I have had a crappy day and could use a little pick me up! PUSH THE BUTTON!**


	36. Ch 35

**A/N: You guys amaze me! All the love the last chapter recieved.. it was astonishing! THANK YOU! However.. I have to give huge props to the 2 to 3 readers who asked about the second V-Day gift that Edward gave Bella.. it was never talked about in the last chapter.. hehe... you'll find out soon enough!**

**To KimboACP who asked who won the bet with Rose, Em and Edward.. that may come as an outtake..or it may weave its self into the story.. hehe**

**Much love goes to CullensTwiMistress...you keep me on track girl...fluv you hard!**

**I don't own anything Twilight related.. but in about 38 hours.. I'll sitting in a dark theater watching BD.. will you? This will be a more somber chapter.. but like CTM stated.. it had to be done.. ENJOY!**

Chapter 35

BPOV

Looking out the tiny window I sat next to, I wondered, for the millionth time, if I was doing the right thing. What started out as a simple trip to spend time with my mom, snowballed into something larger, bigger. Adding to everything was the tension and rollercoaster of emotions I felt from Edward, and I was drained.

Shortly after my announcement to go to Jacksonville, life was a flurry of chaotic activity. Alice was having visions left and right. The strangest part of it was Alice telling me that going to see my mom would help in the long run. I wasn't exactly sure how, but she muttered things about her being more open and able to calm Charlie down. Now _that_ surprised me.

The days leading up to my departure for sunny Florida were filled with more planning and strategy meetings than I care to admit. But I understood the need for such meticulous planning. All of our bases and lose ends needed to be tied up. Plus, there were certain things I wanted to happen as well. I was lucky that the Cullen's were being so gracious about my requests. I was well and truly blessed.

There were just two things that worried me about my trip to Jacksonville. The first one was the role that I had to play and the groundwork that needed to happen. If I fucked something up, it would just create more work and chaos than we needed. But more than that, it was that I needed to make sure Renee was on board with certain things. Luckily for me, there were relatively few lies I had to give. Instead I would be telling half truths and stretching the laws of believability.

The second thing was Edward. The week leading up to my leaving was very hard on him. I knew he tried to hide how he was feeling, but since our bonding, it was almost impossible for that to happen. The anxiety and fear rolled off of him. I could feel it in his arms when he held me close and there was desperation in his kisses. I knew that neither of us would deal with this separation well, at all.

Even last night as we made love, I could feel his panic. I knew that part of it was that he worried over my safety. He was going to be thousands of miles away from me. If something were to happen, he fretted over the idea that he wouldn't be able to get to me in time. We consulted with Alice a few times to see if he could come with me, but her visions showed that one, it would sunny the entire time I was down there, and secondly, that his presence wouldn't help our cause much.

I hated knowing he was feeling so bad. I wanted him happy. So much so, that there were a few times when I almost said 'fuck it' and was going to ask to be changed immediately. But I knew that I needed to see this through. This was the compromise I made to myself when I chose Edward and immortality. I wanted to give my parents the best resolution I could. So I soldiered on the best that I could.

Renee was beyond ecstatic about my coming to Florida. I talked to her more the days leading up to Spring Break than I had since I came to Forks. She was also bummed that Edward could not join me. She was anxious to meet him. I did bring several pictures of us together for her to see him and for my peace of mind. A small part of me felt guilty that Renee would never really get to spend time with Edward. Except for a brief time at graduation, these pictures would be the closest she would get to him.

From the time Renee spotted me in the airport till we got home, she kept up a constant stream of chatter. She asked about Charlie, school, Edward, the Cullen's, and told me all about what she and Phil have been up to. I was lucky that she required very little participation from me, just a few well placed words or noises and Renee continued to talk.

It wasn't until we had pulled up in front of a small yellow rambler that the exhaustion I had been feeling finally consumed me. I dragged my ass out of the car, thankfully Phil grabbed my suitcase and shuffled behind Renee as she gave me a tour. Blessedly, the house wasn't huge and when she showed me to my room, I pleaded exhaustion.

"Mom, I'm really tired. Do you mind if I take a nap? We had to get up early to make it into Seattle on time."

I tried to talk Charlie into letting Edward take me, but he wasn't hearing any of that. I then tried to talk him into at least going to Seattle the day before so I didn't have to get up at the butt crack of dawn. Again, it was a no-go.

"Sure honey. I'll let you sleep for a few hours. Phil is going back to work and I have some school stuff to do. We will take you out to dinner tonight, how does that sound?"

Dinner, in a restaurant? That was my idea of heaven, because Renee can't cook and I had no inclination to cook at least tonight. I was sure I would be roped into cooking at least a few times while I was here. I was thankful that I was only going to be here for a few days.

"That sounds ok to me, Mom." She kissed my cheek softly and then walked out of the room, closing the door.

I plopped down on the bed in pure exhaustion. I rolled to the side of the bed and rummaged into my carry on bag looking for the one thing I was sure would help me sleep in peace. Of course it had to be at the bottom of my bag. But eventually I was able to pull out my portable CD player, headphones and the jewel case. I took the CD from the case and put into the player and started it up.

Almost immediately, the soothing and now familiar strains of the song Edward composed for me began to play. Also most as automatically, my body began to relax. Every night since Valentine's Day I have listened to this CD. It was the second gift that I didn't open until later on that night. It held his original song and then several other songs that Edward told me reminded him of us. Every song we danced to at Homecoming was on there with Edward playing the piano flawlessly. But even more than that, was his voice. He sang every song on there as well.

I finally fell asleep to Edward singing _In Your Eyes_.

Over the next two days, I did part of what I came to do, which was spend time with my mom, to fully immerse myself back into her. So whatever Renee wanted to do, we did it. We hung out at the beach, went to a beachfront art festival where she talked me into a henna tattoo. We baked cookies and went shopping; we even spent a few hours watching Phil play in a minor league scrimmage.

But even more than that, I just watched her, watched and memorized her. I tried to commit to memory, the exact shade of her hair, especially in the sun, the sound of her laugh, the twinkle in her eyes as she watched Phil as he played and the feel of her arms as she hugged me. I allowed myself to be more affectionate and clingy to her.

I even copied Edward's idea and at the end each day, I documented every little part of what we did. I tried to include the sights, sounds and feelings I had. Although I hated to be photographed, I took pictures of Renee that I could take with me into eternity. I took some of the both of us and made sure to make copies for Renee.

I wanted to imprint as much of this as I could onto my limited human brain in the hopes that once I was changed, that something would stick, that some memory of my mom would last. I knew from the Cullen's that it was hard to hang onto the memories, but I wanted to do all that I could to help me remember.

This was also why I knew Edward couldn't come with me. I needed to do this on my own. I needed to let the grief and the sadness come and _feel_ it. I knew that once I was changed, I wouldn't be able to properly mourn the loss of my parents. I wouldn't be able to deal with my grief. So that was what I was doing now. I was saying goodbye. I was trying to give my mom some last few precious happy moments to remember me by as well.

I wanted her to see me, happy, whole and in love. I needed to leave her with the knowledge that I was loved, not only by her, but Edward and his family. So I talked about them, the things they did for me, things they did with me. I talked about some of the more colorful things Emmett has done and all about Alice and hanging out with her. I talked about Carlisle's never ending patience in dealing with my clumsiness and how Esme welcomed me into her family with open arms.

When we talked about Edward, I tried to paint a picture of his love. The lengths and the depths he would and had gone for me. I played her the CD so she could hear him sing to me. I couldn't help but tell her how cherished he made me feel. I watched as she absorbed every word I spoke about him.

"I can't wait to meet him, Bella." A small pang of guilt and pain rippled through me. I knew that the first time she met him would be the last.

"Yea. You'll meet him at graduation. He can't wait to meet you." This was the truth. Why he wanted to, I wasn't sure. Maybe because he wanted to find some way to reassure her that he loved me and would take care of me, I wasn't exactly sure. Either way, he would be able to charm her instantly and she would love him.

It wasn't until the afternoon of my third day and the day before I was to go back, that I finally got around to the other reason I was down here. I had been struggling with a way to bring the subject up, but luckily for me, Renee did it for me.

We were out back on the porch, sipping on some homemade lemonade and munching on some sandwiches, enjoying the breeze when she sprung her question on me.

"So, have you decided what you're going to after graduation? Have you picked a school?"

I took a deep breath, I had a role to play and things I needed to do. It was time that I followed through on my decision.

"Honestly Mom, no. I have no clue what I want to do with my life." That wasn't a lie, I still had no clue what to do, but I knew _who_ I wanted to spend it with.

"Haven't you been accepted anywhere?" I could hear the minor panic in her voice, I needed to squash that.

"Yea, a few; Seattle, Southern Cal, NYU. But," I let go the breath I had been holding, "I'm not sure I want to go to school, or at least a big college, right now." I couldn't help but close my eyes and wait for her reaction.

"Hmmm…" was all she said for a few small moments. "Well, then do you have _any_ plans for after school?"

"Well, I was thinking of going to California and live with Alice." I took a deep breath and forged ahead before she could interrupt. "She is going to design school out there and we have talked about me moving in with her. I was thinking I could get a job and maybe go to community college, see if anything catches my interest."

I turned to look at her, to watch the emotions as they flitted across her face. I could tell she wasn't happy, and there was confusion there as well.

"What about Edward, where is going to school?"

"Umm, he was thinking of school in California as well. He's been accepted to Berkley, Stanford, UCLA, Southern Cal." I trailed of, not knowing what to say.

"Have you talked to your dad about this?" she finally asked.

I shook my head, "No, not really."

She then asked the one question I was sure she wasn't going to ask, even if Alice thought it was a strong possibility. I should learn to never bet against Alice, at least, regarding most things.

"Are you and Edward planning on getting married?"

I had to stop myself form fingering the necklace around my neck that held my engagement ring. "We've talked about it." That wasn't a lie either, right. I mean, it's not like she asked if we were already engaged. Plus, we _have_ talked about us getting married. I mean it is part of the plan.

"Are you worried that I won't approve honey?" She looked at me with genuine concern on her face.

"Maybe, a little? Oh, I don't know. I know Charlie won't understand, about any of it." I closed my eyes against the sudden tears that had sprung up. "I just don't want you guys to think I am a failure or I am making bad choices."

There, I finally got out what had been bugging me for a while. I feared that I would disappoint and hurt my parents. There was still that small part of me that felt I was being selfish for picking Edward over my family. But when it came right down to it, it was really the only choice I could make.

I knew that there was no way I could live without Edward. I knew this before we bonded, but now that we had, it was something I couldn't fathom. He was more than just my love, my mate; he was the very beat in my heart, my very soul. Living without him would be like living with half of my body missing.

"Bella," she paused, waiting for me to look at her, "you are your own person. You have your own life, your own choices and the only one who has to live with those choices is you. I'm not saying that your choices may not affect us and others in your life. But it's more like, if you make choices based on if others will approve, then it's not _your _life your living, but theirs."

She let that sink in for a while, a comfortable silence between us as we continued to slowly rock back and forth. Part of me understood what she was saying, the other part worried it was too good to be true.

"What if choices I make hurt others? Wouldn't that make that choice, wrong?"

I knew I shouldn't have asked, I was terrified of her answer, but there was a still little girl inside me that wanted approval from a parent. I needed someone to shoulder this burden even for just a short while.

She must have seen something on my face, some inner turmoil that was plain as day, for she threw her arms around me and held me tight. A few stray tears leaked out of my tightly closed eyes.

"Oh, baby. Sometimes the hardest choices we have to make are ones that hurt others. That doesn't make them wrong for us. Sometimes to find happiness, others will be hurt. But, hopefully, those that we hurt will understand and their pain will be momentary. In the grand scheme of things, you hope the happiness will greatly outweigh the pain."

With that said she got up and left me to think. I wasn't sure how long I had been out there after she left. Her words echoing and bouncing around in my head. What surprised me was that what she said was almost the exact same thing Carlisle had said to me when I spoke to him. It was those words that he spoke to me that helped me choose Edward.

But hearing my mom say them, they took on a new meaning. I knew part of what she was saying had to do with her and Charlie. She had to make a choice between her happiness and hurting Charlie. But in the end, she hoped that Charlie would come to understand her choice and that his pain would eventually dissipate. By making the choice, my mother was hoping that both people would eventually be happy, because staying would have made them both miserable in the end.

For the first time I had hope, hope that I was making the right choice and hope that there will come a time when my parents will remember me with love and happiness. It also made me realize that by asking Edward to fake his death as well, that maybe my parents will hope that I am spending eternity with the one I loved. It was all I could hope for and then some.

I finished the rest of my visit with a far less burdened mind, heart and conscious. I laughed and enjoyed just being with my mom. Later that night as she was helping me fold and pack up my clothes, she tried to assure me that everything would be alright.

"Bella, I'll talk to Charlie. But only after you have told him of your plans, all of them." She gave me a knowing look, one that told me she also meant Edward. I nodded because that was part of the plan as well.

"I will, Mom, I promise."

I fell asleep easier that night and it seemed appropriate when the last thing I remembered was Edward singing _Amazed._ I truly was amazed by all that he did, but more importantly, that he was mine.

The plane ride back to Washington was far less anxiety ridden than the ride to Florida. With each mile we flew, with each second that passed, I could feel the excitement begin to rise. Each minute brought me closer to Edward and the destiny that was waiting.

When the plane finally landed, I was bouncing in my seat, all I wanted was to get in Charlie's cruiser and see Edward. I was sure that Alice had already told him when I would be home and he wouldn't hesitate to be at my door minutes after I arrived.

In a rush I sprinted off the plane, thankful I managed to stay upright and dashed for baggage claim. The second I spotted my suitcase, I grabbed it and ran off to the doors where I know Charlie would be waiting.

I didn't start looking for Charlie until I was closer to the doors. My eyes scanned furiously for his mustache and police jacket he was sure to have on. So intent I was on trying to find Charlie that I never noticed that there was someone else waiting for me. When my brain finally caught up to my eyes, I dropped everything I held and simply stared.

EPOV

I won't lie and say that the last few days without Bella have been perfect, filled with sunshine and roses, because it wasn't. It was painful, it was anxiety ridden, it was lonely and it downright fucking sucked ass. I moped all over the place. I constantly harassed Alice asking about visions of Bella, wanting her to show me anything she could.

I was so bad that after while Jasper couldn't even be in the same place as me. So they kicked my ass out of the house and I went to the cottage. Of course it was no better there either. There I was surrounded by memories of Bella and me. I could still smell her everywhere, teasing and taunting me.

I had shit I needed to do while she was gone, but I didn't want to do anything but curl up and wait for her return. It took Esme coming down to the cottage to finally get my ass moving.

"You know Edward, you shame me," she told me as I sat staring off into space.

I hated knowing I disappointed her, but I couldn't find it in me to care outwardly.

"While you sit here, feeling sorry for yourself, missing her like nothing else, have you given no thought to what Bella is doing?"

I turned to look at her, appalled that she would think I wasn't thinking of Bella, she was in my every thought, my every action. "Of course I wonder what she is doing, if she is enjoying herself, spending time with Renee, being in the sun."

"No, Edward. She is there saying _goodbye_ to her mother. She is there setting up an elaborate lie so that she can be with you! Plus, she has to do it while missing you. But she can't have the luxury of showing exactly how much she misses you."

I stared at Esme in astonishment, knowing that she was right.

"So while you sit here moping about how much you miss her, Bella is trying to tell her mother goodbye without ever having to say the words. Now, you tell me, who has it worst, you or her?"

With that she left the cottage and left me feeling selfish and utterly ashamed of myself. In a few short months I would have Bella all to myself. But until then, Bella has to leave behind everyone she ever cared about- for me. It was then that I realized the price Bella was paying for an eternity with me.

Shaking myself from my stupor, I set out to do the things that I needed to get done. The first was a call to my lawyer. I needed to shift around some money and make some other inquiries. I told Bella that I would take care of Charlie once we faked her death and this was the only way I knew how. Once I was told the papers would be sent to me for my signature, I set about my next task.

I spent the next few hours researching online the best place for us to go in Vegas for our wedding. I wanted something classy and elegant. After looking at several different hotels, I settled on the Mandarin Oriental. I lucked out that there famous Apex Suite was still available for the days we needed. I booked us for three days. I even asked them to make arrangements and reservations for us to get married. The concierge assured me that every last detail would be taken care of.

The last few details I needed to take care of were in regards to the day we will fake our deaths. I needed to get a replica of Bella's engagement ring. It took me a few calls, but I managed to find someone that was willing to get it done within the next few weeks.

Bella and I had decided that once Charlie knows of our engagement, it would be the fake ring she wears. When I asked why, her reasoning was that the more Charlie saw it, the more he would be able to say it was mine. Plus, once she could wear the _real _ring, she never wanted to take it off. It seemed important to her, so I just agreed.

The night before Bella was to arrive back home, Esme received a call from Charlie asking if she would be able to pick Bella up. He had been called into to assist on a several car pileup a few hours away. Seemed there were multiple casualties and the small town was asking for all the help they could get. Charlie was worried he wouldn't be done by the time he needed to pick up Bella early tomorrow morning. Esme assured him that someone will pick up Bella and he didn't need to worry.

Esme made a show of telling Carlisle what was going on and they pretended to talk about Carlisle going out there to help. Esme told Charlie that Carlisle would like to go with him. Charlie accepted the help and a half an hour later and Carlisle left to follow Charlie out to the accident and I ended up pacing the house until it was time for me to leave and get Bella.

Two hours before her plane was due to land, I took off for Seattle under the cover of the early morning moon. My entire body got more excited the closer I got. I could feel the tension and worry roll off me as the miles passed under my tires. I couldn't wait to see Bella and I wasn't sure I could deal with another separation like that one.

I nervously paced the arrival area down by the baggage claim. I watched as the flight board kept track of her flight and when I saw arrived I nearly ran to meet her at the gate. Instead I kept to where I was and paced like a lion in a cage.

I smelled her before I spotted her, the wave of people carrying her scent towards me. When the crush of people parted, I watched as she scanned the crowd, I assumed looking for Charlie. I swear I saw her eyes scan right past me a few times and I was surprised she never stopped to look.

I was just about to call out to her when her eyes landed on me again, this time she stopped and looked at me. I could see the confusion in her eyes and watched as it gave way to shock and then surprise. She dropped everything she was holding onto and ran towards me. I held open my arms and she jumped into them, her legs wrapping around my waist.

I felt her body shake from crying and I felt her warm tears as they bathed my neck. In silence I simply held her, rocking us from side to side as she wept. I knew it was a mixture of happiness, relief and sadness. She had a trying few days and this was the first time she could let it out. It made me feel like more of an ass for moping the way that I did.

Not knowing what the right words were to say, I said the only thing I could. "I love you, Bella. Love you, so much baby."

After a few moments, Bella calmed down and I was able to set her back on her feet. In silence we made our way back to the bags she dropped and gathered them all up. I held her hand as we walked to my car. When I had everything stowed away, I gathered in my arms.

"Are you okay, love?" I stroked her hair and her back as she snuggled up close.

"I am now. I am sorry I lost it back there. It's just…everything had built up and I was so happy to see you…I…I couldn't keep it all in." I could feel the tiny tremors shake her body as she tried to keep herself from crying all over again.

"No need to apologize, love. It's all understandable, I am sure you have had an emotional few days. Did you have fun?" She pulled away to give me a beaming smile.

"Yea, I had fun. I missed you and I love you, too." She placed a small kiss on the underside of my jaw. "Let's go home."

I opened the car door and ushered her in and began the drive back home. I worried that it would be filled with tension and sadness, but once again Bella amazed me with her strength. She told me all about what they did and how it felt to see her Mom after so long apart. She talked about the talks they had and how her Mom ended up making her feel better about her choice.

It pleased me to hear that she still held firm to her choice; there was no hesitation or anxiety from her. In fact, she appeared to be more relaxed and calmer as if she had finally made peace with what was going to happen. It eased my mind immensely and found myself once again counting down the days until she was all mine.

I pulled up to our house and before I could even figure out why I was asking her, I blurted out, "Bella, will you go to prom with me?"

**A/N: So now we see why she went to Jacksonville... She needed to do this on her own... Now.. PROM! That will be interesting! **

**A few pimping of things to do: Check out CullensTwiMistress drabble story: Bubble Gum and Spiderman.. trust me.. you will LOVE this Edward!**

**If you remember.. in the summer I enterd TFA's Summer Fantasy Contest and my O/S- He Shoots, She Scores won..well..part of winning was that I was the Author of the Month for November on their blog.. check out my interview at: tfadvocacy dot blogspot dot com there is also a link on my profile!**

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**Ok.. so.. what did ya think of this chapter? Loved it? Hated it? Please send me some love.. you know you want to!**


	37. Ch 36

**A/N: *looks around* What can I say? You guys blew my mind with all the reviews for last chapter. Even better..you all understaood what I was trying to do.. give Bella her goodbye. *sigh* You guys rock my world!**

**To all the wonderful new readers I got from all the fabulous pimping you guys are doing of this story... I can never thank you enough! *mwah***

**To CullensTwiMistress who helped me with the dresses in this chapter.. you rock girlfriend.. I couldn't ask for a better friend !**

**Disclaimer: I don't own nothing Twilight related, I do however own a BD ticket stub and a cool laminated pass for the double feature I saw! **

**ENJOY.. and ummmm panty alert... seriously.. remove them now!**

Chapter 36

"Would you stop your pacing, it's driving me crazy," Emmett bellowed as he sat on the couch engaged in a video game with Jasper.

I flipped him the bird behind his back and sat back down at one of the dining room chairs. I glanced at my watch and saw that I still had fifteen minutes before Jasper and I could leave to pick up Bella and Alice. They were getting ready for prom at Bella's house. Alice said it had something to do with me getting the full effect.

I had no idea what she meant and I didn't want to. What I wanted was to be with Bella and holding her as we danced. She reluctantly agreed to go as long as I didn't dare ask her to another one for twenty five years.

_Why are you so edgy, Edward?_

I wasn't sure how to answer Jasper as I wasn't completely sure myself why I was anxious. Since Bella's return from Jacksonville, things had been going smoothly. Alice's visions said we were on the right track, Bella seemed more at ease, and I finally felt as if things were going right in my life. There was no need to be worried or anxious, Alice said so herself.

Even when Bella talked to Charlie about her supposedly after school plans, it went better than Bella thought and as well as I expected.

I had stayed in her room as she and Charlie talked downstairs. Charlie had been trying to talk to Bella about her plans for a while now, but she kept blowing him off. It took Alice telling her it was important for her to do this when Bella finally found the courage to do it.

Charlie was, well a bit skeptical to say the least. He worried that Bella would have a harder time going to college if she waited too long. But, my girl stood her ground, used sound logic and reason with him and after awhile he agreed to think about it. The next day he spoke to Renee who talked some sense into Charlie like she told Bella she would do. In the end, Charlie agreed to the plan with added proviso that Bella only goes to the community college for one year. I could tell that Bella hated lying to Charlie, it was in her eyes. But she held herself firm and agreed to what Charlie was requesting.

Later that night I held her as she cried. She was finding it hard to say goodbye to Charlie. She knew that she had to be careful as he was too observant for his own good. We ran through several ways for her to be able to say what she wanted, but so far nothing felt right to her.

In my own mind, I had hopes that when I finally did speak to Charlie about marrying Bella, that his blessing, if he gave one, would help Bella find her peace. We were planning for me to talk to Charlie a few weeks before graduation. So far Alice has been unable to see how Charlie would react.

That alone caused Bella some serious anxiety. Only after I told her I would do all the talking, was she finally able to relax and calm down.

I have heard him think the thought of us marrying. But whenever it came across his mind, he was quick to dismiss it and think of something else. He was having a hard time seeing Bella as a grown woman and not the small little girl he once knew. Many times I would find him replaying memories from when Bella was younger. That was the Bella he was familiar with, not the grown girl that came to live with him. He was having a hard time reconciling the two of them.

So, this all brings me back to why was I so anxious? I guess it came down to one thing; I was worried that something was going to fuck things up. I was waiting for the proverbial shoe to drop and it had me on edge. I was so close to getting what I always wanted that I was worried it was all going to be taken from me. The old insecurities that I didn't deserve Bella crept back, making me anxious.

_We never deserve them, Edward. All we can do is show them that we are thankful that they love us and by doing so, they didn't make a mistake._

I whipped my head to turn in Jasper's direction, confusion at his words coursing through me. He must have felt it for he continued to talk.

_Look at me. I did some pretty fucked up shit before I meet Alice. But, somehow despite it all, she loves me. _Me, _Edward. There are days when I still wonder why._

I made my way to the couch closest to where he sat, still playing a game with Emmett. He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye and I nodded for him to continue.

_All of us, including Carlisle, have days when we feel we don't deserve our mates love. But that doesn't mean we don't stop trying to be worthy of it. Don't forget, you are a mated vampire, Edward. With that comes the knowledge that she is it for you, just that you are the one for her._

He was silent as I thought over what he said. He was right. Bella and I were mated. That is the ultimate form of connection you could get. Nothing could change that. Nothing could break that.

_But most of all, you need to have faith; faith in her, in you, in your bond and in your love. Stop second guessing it all. Because when you do, you doubt it all. Including her._

We were interrupted by the sound of tires on gravel; the limo I had rented had arrived. Jasper and I busied ourselves with putting on shoes and jackets, while Esme grabbed the corsages out of the fridge. She reminded us to take lots of pictures and to have fun.

"Thanks," I told Jasper when the driver shut the door. "I don't know why I'm anxious all of a sudden." I finally confessed.

Jasper smirked at me, "It's ok. You two are dealing with a lot and there are bound to be times when you feel insecure. I have every faith that when you need to be strong, you will."

He looked out the window to see that we were close to Bella's house. "Forget about the next few months, instead, just enjoy being with Bella. Make this a good memory for you both."

With that said, the limo stopped in front of her house and we quickly scampered out of the limo and up to the front door. Charlie was already waiting for us, with the door wide open. He eyed the limo with a speculative glance.

"Going all out I see boys."

"Got to treat our girls with style, Sir," replied Jasper in his slow southern drawl.

Charlie smirked. "They will be down in a minute. Alice said something about making an entrance."

We both nodded and stood by the couch, turning anxiously towards the stairs waiting for the ladies to appear. I could hear Alice putting on the finishing touches to Bella all the while she recited the Latin names for STD's complete with visual aids. I skipped out of her mind in a hurry.

No less than three minutes later, I heard the sound of heels on the floor and watched as a silver clad foot stepped down followed by flowing chiffon. From the quick intake of breath behind me, I knew that it was Alice who was coming down.

She looked beautiful in a long, flowing gown of emerald chiffon that was mostly sleeveless except for the small strap over one shoulder. It looked gathered at the waist where a small beaded detail held it all. The slit on one side ran clear up to just above her knee and from Jasper's thoughts, he was zeroed in on that slit.

Jasper came from behind me to meet Alice at the bottom of the stairs, where he grasped her hand, kissing her knuckles gently while murmured, "Beautiful, Alice. You look stunning."

She kissed his cheek and surveyed him in his all black tux. We opted to do vests and ties as Alice stated it was more modern looking. Of course, Alice also made sure we matched the colors of their dresses as well.

Jasper presented Alice with her wrist corsage of pale yellow roses and slipped it onto her delicate wrist. With her other hand she caressed his face and looked at him adoringly, "Handsome as ever."

He tucked her hand into the crook of his arm and led her towards the sofa. I kept my eyes peeled, anxious to see Bella.

_She looks beautiful, Edward._

I scoffed inwardly at that, when didn't she look beautiful?

Just then, I heard the click of heels on the floor again and with bated breath, watched as a black kitten heeled shoe stepped down. My eyes traveled up the exposed skin of her legs and caught the hint of a dark red dress. Soon I saw the perfection that was Bella.

Her dress was stunning. A halter top framed her breasts in a modest but still so enticing manner, the waist was fitted to her luscious curves and the skirt of the dress was tiers of chiffon. The front went to just about her knees and the back kissed the back of her calves. The darkness of the red was set off beautifully by the paleness of her skin. Around her neck was a small black satin choker. She was exquisite.

Somehow I had found myself standing at the foot of the stairs, my eyes never leaving hers as I drank in the sight before me. I couldn't help but smile at her as our hands connected. Her eyes sparkled with excitement and her lips curved into a delectable smile. Her hair fell gently down her back in chocolate waves.

"You are absolutely breathtaking, Bella." I placed a chaste kiss on her cheek and presented her with a wrist corsage of a single red rose with a small sprig of baby's breath.

"You look good, too, Edward."

I wanted to keep staring at her but a giggle form Alice and a loud throat clearing from Charlie brought me back into reality. I escorted her towards the sofa where my siblings waited and began the process of picture taking. What seemed liked hours, but in all actuality it was only minutes later, the pictures were done and we had helped the girls into the limo.

The drive over to the school was short and sweet and before long, we were in the gym that had been transformed into a ballroom. Kind of. Alice tsked over the decorations and I had to agree with her. Although it wasn't as tacky as Homecoming. Now, hundreds of twinkle lights hung everywhere, soft billowy fabrics hung from the ceiling to cover up the harshness of the gym equipment. A DJ was set up and spinning tunes in one corner, while the opposite corner held a refreshment table.

Small circular tables lined the perimeter of the gym. Each of them was covered in black or white tablecloths, tea lights burned in crystal centerpieces and the entire table was covered in black, white and silver confetti.

The four of us commandeered a table where we set our belongings before we went out to dance. It was easier to get Bella out there than the last dance we went to. Of course we made a bargain that I wouldn't let her go all night long. It was a small price to pay, but I was more than willing to have her spend the night in my arms.

As the night wore on and we danced, my need and desire for her grew. The feel of her body as it molded to me as we swayed to the music only furthered my lust. The feel of her ass as it grinded up against my rock hard cock only intensified my longing.

The smell of her neck teased me and I couldn't help by lay small, feather light kisses over her exposed shoulders. The feel of her fingers as she played with my hair at my nape sent shivers down my spine. As the minutes turned into hours, our world narrowed down till it was just us. Till all I felt was the heat of skin and all I heard was the sound of her breath against my neck.

By 11:30, I was desperate to be alone with her. Prom was supposed to go until 1 am, but I knew there was no way I would last that long. I needed her now. I trailed my nose up her neck and flicked her ear with my tongue. I was rewarded with a small whimper.

"Ready to leave, baby?"

She nodded yes and we hastily gathered our coats and her purse. I made eye contact with Jasper to let him know that we were heading out. He gave me a nod and I all but dragged Bella towards the waiting limo.

I had made reservations at a little bed and breakfast just outside of Port Angeles. Charlie was under the assumption that Bella was staying at my house. Emmett will come and get Jasper and Alice when they are ready to leave. But that wasn't what was on my mind at the moment. I was focused on Bella. She looked radiant.

There was a slight flush to her skin from the dancing, her breathing was a bit erratic and I could smell that she wanted me as much as I did her. Once we were inside the limo, I raised the privacy screen and reminded the driver not to interrupt us. He already knew where he needed to go.

Bella kicked off her heels as the limo pulled away and I dragged her across my lap. Automatically one of my hands twined itself into hair and pulled her down for a kiss. I wanted to start out slow and gentle. But one taste of her and I was gone. The heady scent of her swirled around me and I crushed our lips together in a fierce kiss.

Lips and tongues meet in a frenzy of need and desperation. I could feel what control I possessed slowly slip away. My cock ached, and my need for her had reached unbearable heights. When Bella grabbed a fistful of my hair and smashed her lips to mine, I was a man consumed by desire.

My hands deftly untied the top of her dress and just as fast I had the zipper down as well. I moved Bella so she was straddling me and quickly pulled her dress up and off of her. When I took in what had been under that dress, I had to keep myself from fucking her senseless.

Her tits were bare but she had on a skimpy and sheer thong with a black lace garter belt that held up her sheer black stockings. I couldn't contain the growl that rumbled through me. Bella's eyes closed at my growl and moaned as she felt the vibrations roll through her.

Without warning, I stripped off my vest and dress shirt. I needed her and I needed her now. Nothing short of being buried into her wet heat would be satisfactory. Bella's hands were all over my chest once my clothes were removed while my hands attacked her nipples and my lips licked hr collarbones.

Her whimpers and moans filled the limo and I reveled in the knowledge that I drove her to make such glorious sounds. We were a flurry of hands, roaming, teasing, stroking and caressing. I could hear her panting and my cock was ready to bust forth from my pants.

"Need you," I panted into Bella's mouth.

"Me too," she moaned.

Together we worked to undo my belt and pull my pants and boxers down to the floor of the limo. My cock sprang forth and slapped my stomach. I ripped the pathetic excuse for panties off Bella with a flick of my fingers.

Without warning I pulled Bella closer, lined her up with my cock and slammed her down in one fluid motion. She was so wet for me that I glided into her with ease. We both closed our eyes, lost in the feeling of steel in satin, fire merging with ice.

"You feel so good," I gasped against her lips.

As if we were one mind, she pushed her hips down and I flexed upwards, driving even deeper into her pussy. Bella placed her hands on my shoulders and used it for leverage as she began to bounce up and down on me. My hands held her hips, guiding her, moving with her as if we were one pulsing being.

Faster and harder we went our cries and groans were the rhythm that moved to. I watched as my cock slid in and out of her, covered in her warm juices. Just watching us, as we joined in the most primal and natural way added fuel to the fire burning within me. There was an overwhelming drive to make Bella fall to pieces, to watch as she rode the high that only I could provide her.

My hands roamed over her slick body, a pluck of her nipples, and a lick of her neck. I kneaded her ass as she rode me faster and harder, panting and moaning her needs. Her hands had a tight grip on my neck and her face a picture of bliss and desire.

"So good," she chanted over and over. Her pussy started the tell tale fluttering and I knew she was close.

I pulled her closer, so that there was no place that out bodies were not touching. I could feel her pants on my neck, her heart beat against my chest and her blood pulsed along the contours of my skin. The delicious pressure in my gut grew from a dull ache to a full out throbbing mess.

"So close," I whispered in her ear. "Come with me, love."

With that, I sucked hard on her ear and ground her clit against my pubic bone.

"Oh, yes!" she screamed as her orgasm zipped through her body, her body trembled with the force of it. Her pussy clamped on my cock like a vice and it milked out the cum that boiled just at the surface. My head was thrown back as my body jerked from the spasms racking my body.

When we were both spent, Bella collapsed on my chest and I held her close. I stroked her back as she struggled to calm down. I placed soft kisses on her temple and murmured tender words of love. A glance outside told me we were not far from the bed and breakfast, so needed to get Bella dressed.

With a little coaxing, I helped her slip her dress back on and I worked to redress myself the best I could. I was missing several buttons on my shirt and my vest had a huge rip on one of the seams. We laid there together, enjoying the relaxing feeling that only great sex can give you. I wrapped Bella in my jacket just as the limo rolled to a stop. I kissed Bella's cheek as I helped her out. I tipped the driver and took our bag that he had retrieved from the trunk. I had already checked us in as I knew we would be arriving late.

I had reserved one of the cottages that were separate from the main house. When I opened the door, Bella looked around, her mouth forming a perfect little 'O' in surprise. Our cottage was warm and had a cozy feeling. A small sitting area with a brown leather couch sat in front of a roaring fire. Huge bay windows overlooked a wooded area, while the king sized bed dominated the far back wall.

A small kitchenette was in another corner. A door just off the kitchenette led to the bathroom, where there was a whirlpool tub and huge shower. The whole place was intimate and reminded me of our cottage, hence the reason why I reserved it.

"It's beautiful, Edward," whispered Bella. She was slowly walking around, taking in the decorations and the feel of the room. I walked to the windows to look outside, the moon making silvery shadows with the trees. I turned to see Bella standing in front of the fire, the flames hypnotizing her. I watched as the play of reds and oranges from the fire danced along her skin. Immediately my cock hardened at the sight.

I worried that she may not be ready for me, or still sore from the limo sex. But I needed her; the desire was potent as it coursed through my veins. Slowly I made towards her, inhaling deeply the unique aroma that was all Bella. As one arm went around her waist, my other hand pushed her hair off to one side and I trailed soft kisses down her neck.

Bella shivered and soft moans escaped. My lips never stopped as I untied her dress again and pulled down the zipper. In seconds she was standing in just her garter and stockings. Her nipples puckered at being exposed and my hands came up to flick them.

Bella arched into my hands as I kneaded her breasts and rolled her nipples. I could smell that she was becoming aroused and I knew I wouldn't stop until I had my fill of her. I maneuvered us so that she was standing, facing the bed and I was still behind her. My hands trailed down her back to the garter belt which I pulled off. The stockings were still attached and I rolled them down and off.

I hastily tore my clothes off, not caring that remaining buttons were flying or that I ripped my pants to shreds. All I cared about was being buried inside her wet heat. Gently I pushed Bella down, so her top half rested on the bed. I kneaded her ass as I sunk down behind her and began licking her dripping pussy. I attacked her clit with ferocity and my fingers plunged deep inside her.

Bella, overwhelmed with sensations, fell onto her arms as I licked and sucked everywhere on her pussy. Her juices coated my lips and face but I didn't care.

"Oh, fuck. Yes, yes, more," chanted Bella.

Her pussy clamped down on my fingers and her clit swelled. I flicked it vampire speed and felt as that drove Bella straight to her orgasm. She gushed all over my face, my fingers pumped in and out of her pussy relentlessly all throughout her orgasm.

"Oh, oh my…so good," she panted.

I smirked as I stood up over her bent body. I covered her sweat coated back with my icy chest as I licked a bead of sweat that was at the nape of her neck.

"You haven't seen anything yet, baby." Her body shuddered as my icy breath blew over her overheated skin.

Slowly, teasingly I kissed and licked down her spine. Tasting her saltiness; her own special scent. I watched as goose bumps erupted wherever I kissed her. Moans fell from her lips. My hands plucked and rolled her hard nipples as I kissed every inch of exposed skin. When I got to her ass, I licked and kissed her there, causing Bella to shiver. Her pussy was once again leaking, coating the tops of her thighs.

Bella was squirming and arching, seeking any type of friction. Her body was shaking, she was whimpering, every touch brought forth such glorious moans. Not wanting to keep her waiting I lined up my cock and in one thrust I buried myself deep inside her. Bella fell forward from the sudden intrusion.

"Oh, fuck, feels so good," I moaned. The heat of her pussy felt amazing on my cock.

Slowly I thrust in and out. Watching as my cock became coated in her juices. My hands trailed down her spine, rubbing and kneading. The urge to just go wild and fast was nearly mind boggling, but I kept up my slow and steady pace.

Bella began to meet my thrusts, trying to get me deeper into her. I held her hips steady, this was my show and I planned on driving her wild. She tossed her head from side to side.

"More, Edward, more…please," she begged. I could feel her trying to move her hips, I tightened my grip on her hips and swiveled my hips. The groan I heard from her was reward enough.

I watched as her moans turned into pants and there was a wild look in her eyes, her pussy was absolutely drenched as I could feel it coating my cock and running out of her. Once again, I kissed from the base of her spine all the way back up to her neck, tasting her as I went. My pumping was steady and rhythmic.

"You want more, baby girl?" I asked as I flicked her ear. Each word was punctuated with a deep hard thrust inside her needy pussy.

"Oh, shit, yes. Please!" she begged. She looked over her shoulder at me. "Please, Edward, I need more. Harder, faster."

Her eyes were full of pent up desire and passion. Her face was flushed and she was gnawing on her lower lip. I watched as I pushed into again, deeper and her eyes rolled back. I rolled and pulled on her nipples, drawing out grunts and groans from Bella. I knew I was evil for teasing her, but it felt so good.

"Oh, fuck." She closed her eyes as I continued my assault on her nipples, twisting, pinching, and pulling. She was so responsive, mewls of pleasure fell from her mouth.

I could feel my control slipping; I needed to fuck her now. I stood upright, angled her pelvis and without warning began a pace so fast, so deep and furious that Bella and the bed shook.

"Oh, fuck!" screamed Bella as her orgasm ripped throughout her body. Her pussy clenched down on me and her body went rigid. But still I pounded her from behind, feeling her pussy as it convulsed all around me.

"Oh... oh…yess," hissed Bella. If it was possible, her pussy became even wetter, hotter. But I never changed my pace.

I moved my hips to hit her g-spot every other thrust and kept her on the edges of cumming, over and over I fucked her. My eyes glued to watching me move in and out of her. It was such a glorious sight. Once again I felt Bella as she clamped down on me, her body shaking, whimpering. Sweat covered her body, her heart thrummed, her pulse raced.

I changed angles again and this time I always hit her g-spot, I was wringing one more from her, one more that will bring me with her.

"Oh, fuck, no… not again." She shook her head, not realizing her body was betraying her. Her pussy fluttered her g-spot swelling. The orgasm that I had been holding back, moved through me. That all too familiar coil wound tighter and tighter. I thrust faster, almost at vampire speed.

No longer were any words being spoken, we were both nothing but loud pants and groans. I slipped one hand to hold onto her shoulder and tip my pelvis to go even deeper.

"So close," I chanted.

"Oh..please," whimpered Bella.

I threw my head back, getting lost in the sensations of her warm pussy around my icy cock. The pulsing need of my own orgasm thrummed through me, closer and closer as it came to the edge. Bella's pussy was quivering non-stop, her own orgasm just seconds from erupting.

As her pussy clenched down hard signaling that she was cumming, I pulled Bella up, her back flush against my chest and I pumped a few more times before my own orgasm was ripped out of me and flooded her pussy with my jizz. Bella's entire body shook as came down from her high. I stroked her face and arms to help her down gently. My cock pulsed as I drained all I had into her.

When our bodies finally calmed, Bella slumped in my arms and I pulled us onto the bed. She was a sweaty mess and I was so completely sated and blissed out. I barely had gotten the covers over us before Bella fell asleep. I arranged her to be more comfortable and snuggled her close. I closed my eyes and was lulled into a state of complete relaxation by the sound of her heart.

**A/N: *fans the readers* You guys ok? Still with me? hehe.. I sure hope so! Ok... now that your all relaxed.. go tell me what you thought.. come on... you know you want to! Be aaware that there are some issues with responding to reviews.. so I will get to them.. it just may take me longer.**

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	38. Ch 37

**A/N: Ohh yea.. this is a monster of a chapter! Over 7400 words- biggest chapter so far! I can't thank you guys enough for all the reviews and alerts, faves- it's amazing.. I have no words to describe how it makes me fee! *kisses and hugs to you all***

**A shout out to JA Mash who made a wonderful banner for TMC that goes perfect with this chapter... check it out and then check out her drabble- Within Reason! Its a good one!**

**Ahh to my lovely CullensTwiMistress who took this monster chapter and made it pretty and didn't argue when I said I didn't want to chop this baby up!**

**This one is sweet, funny, sad and ohh hell yea.. SEXY! This is the offical panty and vibe alert... please... remove all panties...**

**I do not own anything Twilight related.. if I did.. I'd rock just a bit more! Enjoy!**

Chapter 37

"Edward, I think I'm gonna puke," whispered Bella.

I looked over at her, sitting huddled in the passenger seat of my car. She was shaking slightly, her face was pale, and she looked fucking scared out of her mind. Calmly I threaded our hands together, her pulse was strong and she didn't feel warm. It was nerves, pure and simple.

I pulled her closer to the middle and held her face. I ran my thumbs over her cheeks and I touched our foreheads together. I breathed on her, knowing that my scent could calm her down. Alice warned me she would feel like this. It was the one thing she _did _see when it came to this.

"You'll be fine. I told you, I'll do most of the talking." She gave me a shaky nod and then closed her eyes.

We finally decided to tell Charlie about our engagement. Alice was unsure of his reaction and she couldn't get a clear vision of it. We theorized that he was in such denial that it would or could happen that he has blocked all thoughts about it out of his mind.

In all the time that I had spent around him, if his mind even began to wander towards thinking about Bella married he would shut down and forced himself to think of something else. I had a feeling when it came right down to it, Charlie would be more anxious about everything than Bella.

It was only ten days until graduation and then another week or so before we executed the plan. I was worried that the closer it came to graduation and the all things that were happening after, that Bella would grow sad or anxious. In fact, she did the opposite. She was happy, carefree, even excited. When I asked her about it, she said she was ready. She had said her goodbyes, to both her parents in the best way possible.

She wanted to live her life, she was ready. She stated she felt that she was born to love me and in return, she was born to be a vampire. She wanted to be fully part of the Cullen Family. It was because she felt that way that the decision was made to tell Charlie. That was why we were parked a few blocks from her house so she could compose herself. This was why she felt like she would vomit.

"You can do this, Bella. _We_ can do this together, remember?" She gave me another shaky nod. I had a feeling that was all I was going to get out of her, so I drove the remaining few blocks and parked outside.

We had timed our arrival to be before Charlie got home from work. Bella wanted to make him dinner and hoped by doing so, it would calm her down and help take her mind off what we were about to do. I held out the fake engagement ring, the real one still hung on the silver necklace around her neck.

Once it was in place on her hand we hurried on inside and Bella immediately began to work on dinner. She was pulling several ingredients out and I knew it was a recipe that would keep her busy. I watched from the doorway, making sure to stay out of her way. She was a blur of activity, browning meat, shredding cheese, sautéing chilies and onions. I wanted to ask if she needed any help, but I knew she needed to stay busy.

I put the TV on SportsCenter, knowing that it would absorb some of Charlie's attention. I began to read the paper when I got a text from Alice.

_Charlie's coming home soon. Warn Bella.-A_

_Ok, thanks for the heads up.-E_

"Bella, Alice says your dad will be home early."

"What?" came her freaked out reply. Her face peered from around the corner, anxiety and a smidge of fear written in her eyes.

I shrugged my shoulders. "That was all that Alice told me. It's going to be alright, I promise you."

She nodded and went back to making dinner. Minutes later I heard the cruiser down the block. I honed in on Charlie, he was calm, happy to be going home early and he was looking forward to the Mariner game that was on TV. I prayed that his good mood would last as I heard him walk up the sidewalk.

"Hello, Edward," he muttered, "Where's Bella?"

I nodded towards the kitchen, "Making dinner." He lifted his nose in that direction.

"Smells good." He took off his jacket, hung it up along with his gun belt.

Just then Bella came around the corner, "Hey, Dad. I just put the enchiladas in the oven; they will be ready in a bit."

Even from where I was sitting, I could see she was nervous as fuck. I motioned for her to come and sit by me. As soon as she was seated, I reached for her hand, rubbing what I hoped were soothing circles into her skin. The three of us sat there watching or at least pretending to watch SportsCenter. The more time that passed the more agitated Bella became. I needed to get this show on the road before she exploded with nerves.

I was trying to find the perfect way to begin when Charlie gave me the perfect opening.

"Are you staying for dinner, Edward?" I didn't want to force down more food, but I knew that Bella needed me to be there.

"Yes, if that is okay with you?" He grunted his acceptance. I squeezed Bella's hand to let her know I was going to tell him. "Charlie, I was wondering if Bella and I could talk to you."

I watched the color leech from his face and all thoughts immediately shut down. He didn't move his head in our direction, but I saw him glance at us from the corner of his eyes. I took that as a sign to keep talking.

"You know that we will both being heading to California later this summer. I will be off to Stanford while Alice and Bella move in together." I watched him and again, I got no response from him. Bella however was shaking like a leaf. I rubbed her knee to let her know it was going to be just fine.

"I love Bella, sir and well, I asked her to marry me and she said yes. We would like your blessing."

The words hung there, in the air, I swear that I could see them floating. Bella tensed up waiting for Charlie to explode. I watched and listened to Charlie, worried that he had stopped breathing. Before I could worry about needing to perform CPR, he jumped up from his chair.

"You've had sex!" he shouted. His hand flew over his mouth as if he couldn't believe he said that.

_Fuck! Fuck, fuck. Why did I just say that?_

I had to bite my lip to keep from laughing at Charlie's ramblings.

"No, don't answer that. I don't want to know." One hand threaded through his hair while the other patted his hip as he looked away.

_Where's my fucking gun when I need it? I'll shoot him, lock Bella in her room, bury the body, and then run away with Bella._

The corners of my mouth twitched at Charlie's nonsensical thoughts. Looking over at Bella, I see that she is watching him with rapt fascination. She looked at me and mouthed 'Is he looking for his gun?' I nodded yes and she paled even more. I shook my head and gave her a smile.

"Why? Why? Ummm…why?" stuttered Charlie. His eyes were all over the place, still trying to look for a quick getaway.

I kept my face passive, "I just want to do the right thing. We are going to be close next year and we love each other. It feels right."

_You want to take my baby girl away from me._

I had to fight the grimace that wanted to come out. _That may be true, but I promise, I'll take care of her._

He turned towards Bella, "You going to let him do all the talking? Do you want to marry him? Is he forcing you? Is he…"

"Char- umm Dad, no! I love him and I want to marry him."

"It's not like you _have_ to get married? There isn't any _reason_ is there?" He flicked his eyes to her stomach and back to her a few times before Bella understood. She paled when she did.

"NO!" she screamed out. The look on her face was priceless and I struggled not to laugh. She shook her head so much that she looked like a bobble head doll and it made me want to laugh even more.

Charlie looked like he was going to puke. His mind was churning so fast, the thoughts were whipping in and out of his head so fast I couldn't keep up. They were half formed, irrational and downright bizarre. He turned his back to us and I chanced a glance at Bella. Her lower lip was quivering, trying to fight the tears that had pooled in her eyes. I rubbed her back, trying to help her calm down.

Suddenly Charlie whipped around; the look in his eyes was slightly manic and crazed. The urge to fling myself in front of Bella was strong, but I held back. Charlie wouldn't hurt her, he couldn't. I on another hand was an altogether different matter.

"Your mother will never approve." With that and before we could object, he dashed for the phone and dialed Renee's number.

Bella realized what he was doing and what would happen, tried to get his attention, "Dad? Dad!"

He turned his back to us once again. We both heard as he asked for Renee. Bella whipped her head towards me, "What's being said?"

I leaned down and whispered their conversation.

_**Renee, do you know what our daughter is doing right now? **_The anger was evident in Charlie's voice.

_No, is she okay?_

_**NO! She wants to marry that…that…that BOY!**_

_Oh, I know! Isn't it lovely? They called to tell me yesterday! _

Even through the phone I could hear how excited Renee was about us getting married. She sounded the same when we spoke to her the night before.

By now Charlie was stock still and barely breathing. I could hear the anger, sadness and betrayal in his thoughts, but surprisingly they were directed towards Renee and not Bella or even me.

_**You think this is a good idea? They're so young.**_

_But Bella has never acted like a young person Charlie. They are in love. Who are we to stand in the way of that?_

The silence not only on the phone but in the house was thick.

_**Fine!**_

Charlie slammed the receiver of the phone down and slowly faced us. There was so much emotion in his eyes and in his thoughts; there was no way I could make sense of it all. But Bella did. She ran up to him and hugged him. They stood there, silently holding each other and I stored the image away to tell Bella about it after her change.

"Just promise me that there is no big affair being planned anytime soon."

"No, Charlie. We will be waiting to have the big ceremony. We have time for that."

I saw Bella wince as I bended the truth. She knew like I did, it was the truth, she also knew he wouldn't be around to see the one being planned.

"Ok, fine…you have my blessing."

"Thanks, Dad. He will take care of me." She said that so softly I didn't know he heard until I heard his reply in his head.

_That's my job, kiddo._

The days and weeks leading up to graduation were hectic. Bella and I were busy with our final project, there was all the arranging for Renee and Phil to come to town and our trip a few weeks after graduation to plan for. Alice was trying to talk Bella into a party, but Bella held firm and refused. Alice left grumbling that the wedding would be so lavish and ostentatious that Bella would be blown away.

I stayed far away from that discussion, much to both Alice's and Bella's dismay. But I knew that there was no way I would win with either of them. So I made myself scarce when they wanted to drag me into it. Emmett thought it was funny until Rose dragged him into it. If you have never seen a huge vampire cower…ohh man, you are missing out!

The day before graduation, the two families got together for a buffet style dinner. Renee, Esme and Alice talked of the move to California and the wedding. Alice was beyond ecstatic in having someone happy to talk to about it.

The ceremony was boring but mercifully short. Angela gave one of the better valedictorian speeches I had ever heard. There were the usual pictures of all us graduates and families. We then went to the Lodge for dinner. Now that was a sight to see.

See, Emmett had lost a hunting bet to Jasper and had to eat his entire meal, no hiding anything. Rose refused to sit next to him because of this and instead stuck Charlie next to him. This of course just gave Emmett fodder to make a fool out of himself.

He ordered a rare steak which even to us was the most revolting thing to smell. Let alone even eat. I barely managed to choke down the few bites of the fettuccine alfredo I ordered. All the vampires at the table watched in horror as Emmett chewed and swallowed bite after bite of his meal. Even Charlie was watching in something akin to fascination and revulsion.

Well it was most likely the latter due to the fact that Emmett forgot that he needed to chew with his mouth closed. He talked and chewed and talked some more. Food was flying from his mouth and he was so oblivious to it all. Rose was getting pissed by the minute and Jasper was egging Emmett on. He was throwing bursts of courage and bolstering Emmett's enthusiasm for sharing the stories he was telling.

By the end of the meal, it turned out Emmett was the only one who had finished his entire meal. The rest of us had forgotten to eat as we were enthralled by the freak one man show that was Emmett. In a daze we eventually made it into the parking lot. While there, Renee exchanged numbers with Alice and Esme asking to be kept up to date on all the wedding plans.

Bella had another tearful goodbye with her mom and Phil the next day as they left to return to Florida. She made Bella promise to call when we went to California. She wanted pictures of where she would be living with Alice. She promised and Renee left with a smile on her face.

Charlie was quiet and stoic throughout it all. It was funny when he would try and change the subject when the wedding was brought up. After failing the first few attempts, he gave up and ended up just leaving the area or not talking at all.

I told Bella it wasn't that he was opposed to us marrying. But more of what I suspected was that he was having a hard time letting her go. This of course made her feel bad and she started to cry. When I told her that he was proud of her, loved her and only wanted her to be happy, she felt better. But it was a few days later when I think Bella finally felt at ease leaving Charlie.

We were lying in bed, just holding each other when Charlie's thoughts struck me. He was looking at a picture of him with Bella. She looked young, so I assumed it was just before Renee took off with her. He was playing through all his memories of Bella, the younger one he remembered. But at the end he sighed, even from here I could hear the resignation in it. It was the last thought he had that I shared with Bella.

_I only want her happy. If he makes her happy, then I am happy. He better take care of my baby._

The smile on her face was more than I could ever ask for. I watched as the guilt, concern and worry melted away. She snuggled close to me and kissed slowly up my chest. When her warm lips reached my ears she sighed, "Eternally yours."

Exactly twelve days after graduation we were packing our last minute items and preparing to say goodbye to Forks for good. Bella took only those things she really wanted to have and things that Charlie or Renee wouldn't notice were missing. She even packed a few boxes to make it look like she was preparing for the move. She wanted to do her whole room, but Alice said it would be too suspicious.

When my parents picked up Bella in the early morning to catch our flight, Esme walked in to talk to Charlie. She personally wanted to assure Charlie that she would take good care of Bella. We all knew what she was doing and no one could blame her for it.

We stayed in a resort that was on the outskirts of San Francisco and close to the forest. In the early evening, we paid a visit to the condo that we secured to stand in for the girls place. Alice and Esme fell in love with it right away. I watched Bella as she roamed from room to room; I followed her, trying to read the emotions that were there.

Unable to take it any longer, I came up behind her, wrapping my arms around her, "Penny for your thoughts." I murmured in her ear.

"I could so see me writing here. I really want to write." I could hear the wistfulness in her voice. We had talked about this many times. Each time I encouraged her to give it a shot.

"Okay, then write. Nothing is holding you back." She snuggled close as she nodded her head.

On the morning of the fourth day, Alice called our hotel room with a simple message, "It's time."

We both looked outside after I hung up and saw the heavily grayed sky. Rain was in the forecast. In silence we gathered up our clothes, careful to leave enough to make it look like we were going to return. I watched as Bella hugged her journal and then placed it on the desk. I knew what it was and who it was meant for.

She blindly held out her hand to me and we met Jasper and Alice by the elevators. They watched us as we walked somberly towards them. Alice hugged Bella close and Jasper gave me a knowing look.

_She's sad Edward, but she's looking forward to marrying you._

I nodded to him and joined in the little love fest with Alice. Jasper, feeling left out decided to make us all giggle. He kept it up until we got to the lobby at which time we busted out, all holding our stomachs and Bella with tears running down her face.

We gasped and pleaded for Jasper to end it, which he did with one last burst of funny. Alice jumped on his back in retaliation and Bella begged me to hit him for her. Of course I did her bidding which started a small wrestling match that we got in trouble by the hotel for. We ran out, caught our cab to the airport and a flight to Vegas.

Alice timed our arrival to coincide with sunset. We checked into the Mandarin where I whisked her up to our suite. I knew she would love it and I was right when her eyes went wide and she gasped. It was a sight to behold. The pictures on the internet didn't do it justice. There were huge windows on two sides and they were almost floor to ceiling. The entire room was done in warm earth tones of tans, browns, yellows and some grays. A huge king size bed dominated the interior wall.

I sat our bags by the bed and walked with her into the huge bathroom. There were found a huge whirlpool Jacuzzi and a separate stand in shower. It reminded me of our cottage bathroom.

"It's like the cottage," whispered Bella. It never ceased to amaze me how in sync we were.

A few minutes later Alice knocked on our door. She had changed her outfit and was bouncing up and down. I knew what she wanted to do and I had to admit, I was anxious as well. We so rarely got to play like this and have it not raise too much suspicion. Even Jasper couldn't wait to play as he was smiling widely behind Alice.

Bella looked between the three us and noted the huge grins we all sported. "What am I missing?"

"Gambling!" we chimed in together.

She looked confused, so Alice explained how we rarely got to gamble and with our enhanced abilities we didn't indulge it much. But Alice had seen that a few hours of playing wouldn't hurt anyone. Bella said she was game if we were and headed out with us as we hit the casino next door.

When we got there, Jasper hit the high stakes Texas Hold 'Em tables, Alice darted off to the craps table and I headed off with Bella in tow for the blackjack tables. I had Bella stand by me as I joined in. I knew that I couldn't win every hand so I made a show of losing big, like three thousand dollars big. I could feel Bella's anxiety and I rubbed the hand she placed on my shoulder.

Slowly I started winning, just a hand or two, and then I started to win the bigger ones. I threw in a few smaller pot loses just to keep people from thinking that I was counting cards. I took a break and then had Bella play a few hands. I let her go on her own luck as I knew that would mean more to her. She didn't do too badly, in the end she made five hundred. Nothing compared to the fifteen thousand I won, but she was thrilled.

By the end of the night, Alice had cleaned the craps table of twenty-five thousand and Jasper had won the most by netting close to fifty thousand. His unique gift allowed him to hone in on peoples tells and the way they bluff from their emotions. Once he gets a good read on them, he just plays along.

We went to the gift shop of our hotel to spend our money. Bella picked out a pair of pearl drop earrings with a simple matching necklace. Alice squealed when she saw it.

"It will be perfect with your wedding dress!"

Bella blushed and nodded, "Wish it was now." She played her part well.

Jasper sauntered over to us, "Well, why not now? We are in Vegas after all." He gave a conspiratorial wink before Alice did another supersonic squeal.

"Yes! Now." She looked over at Bella, who looked at me.

"Please, Edward. I don't wanna wait. Can we do it now?"

I pretended to mull it over, all the while the store clerk was listening in. "Bella, I promised your dad we would wait. I hate breaking my promise."

This was Bella's idea. She didn't want Charlie upset with me, thinking it was my idea to run to Vegas. The store clerk would be a witness to my hesitation. We shared a silent showdown, before I finally acquiesced to her request.

"Fine, but you're telling your Dad."

Alice and Bella clapped and hugged in delight while Jasper offered me a silent handshake.

We took a cab to the place that I had made all the arrangements. Alice pulled out a duffel bag that she announced had Bella's wedding dress along with ties for me and Jasper. When we made it to the chapel, Alice and Bella made a bee line for the dressing room. Jasper put on his tie while I checked us in.

The concierge at the hotel had given me a detailed account of the preparations that he made according to my directions. This chapel was the only one that specialized in what I wanted. I hastily did the tie and waited anxiously for them to come out of the room.

I heard Jasper chuckle and I cracked a smile before raising my brows at him, "What?"

He smiled at me, "I'm happy for you, Edward. You deserve this after all this time."

Next to Alice, only Jasper really understood how lonely I was for all those years. He could feel it and he did his best to shield the rest of the family from it. I owed him for all of that and more. He truly has been like an older brother to me since he joined our family. His wisdom and guidance meant just as much as Carlisle's does. It seemed only fitting that he was here tonight.

A door opened and I spun around to see Alice had changed as well into a simple pale lilac dress. She looked pretty but nothing like the beauty that followed behind her. Bella was wearing a cream baby doll dress. The bodice and sleeves were covered in lace. The rest of the dress was satin with a few layers of tulle overlay. It was simple, demure and all Bella. She had on a pair of simple silver ballet flats, she was wearing her pearl drop jewelry and her hair was a mess of curls atop her head with sprigs of baby's breath.

"You are stunning, Bella."

She blushed and looked down.

"Ready?"

"Yes," she whispered.

I stared at her, to make sure she wanted to go through with this, it was ever too late to change her mind. But what I saw stunned me. Her eyes were bright; there was no hesitation, no fear or regret. There was only love, deep and abiding love. She wanted this, she wanted _me_.

"Together," she whispered as she reached for my hand.

"Together," I vowed.

BPOV

He placed a soft kiss against my temple and then took off with Jasper to wait for me in the chapel. He refused to tell me what he picked for the actual ceremony. Even Alice was mum on the details. Alice faced me as the chapel attendant handed me small bouquet of wildflowers. My hands shook as I grasped them in both my hands.

"Ready to become my sister?" teased Alice.

It eased some of my nervousness, so much I quipped back, "Almost as much as I looking forward to being one of the Mrs. Cullen's."

She laughed and when the attendant asked if we were ready, I was able to nod without any hesitation. I was ready for this, I wanted this. I wanted Edward. Every step in my life was to bring me to him. We were soul mates and I wanted nothing more than to take this last step to bind him to me.

From inside the chapel I heard the familiar strains of music begin to play and before I could recognize the tune, the chapel doors were flung open and all thinking stopped. I could feel my mouth pop open wide as I took in the sight before me.

There had to have been hundreds of vases and bouquets of wildflowers strew all over the room. Some were so huge that they towered over me, while others decorated every flat surface. The entire chapel looked as if it was lit with natural outdoor light. There was even a small bubbling fountain in the corner. At the end of the aisle there was a massive archway where soft gauzy fabric and more wildflowers were weaved in the slats of the archway.

Edward had tried to recreate the meadow for our wedding. It was amazing and absolutely breathtaking. I don't remember watching Alice walk down or even when I started down myself. But somehow I found myself standing face to face with Edward. I knew I had only seen him minutes before and I knew nothing was different about him. But he looked different. He was smiling; his eyes had a light I had never seen before. It took my breath away.

I vaguely heard the minister as he spoke. I just couldn't help but stare at Edward. I wanted to cry, laugh and scream in delight, I was so fucking happy. He was who I needed in my life. He completed me like nothing else ever would.

"Would you like to say your vows now?" I was lucky he was speaking to Edward because I was nowhere ready to speak. I made myself focus on Edward and his words instead the lips that were moving.

"Isabella, there are no words to describe what you mean to me. The joy and the happiness you brought into my life are immeasurable. But what I can do is promise to love you, care for you, and protect you for as long as I shall live. You are my best friend, my mate, my lover and now you will be my wife. I love you."

I couldn't help the tears that fell, there were too many of them to hold back. Edward gently wiped them away while Alice pushed a hankie and a piece of paper into my hand. I dabbed at my eyes as I looked down at what I wrote just a few days ago.

"Edward, it seems as if I have always loved you, even before I met you. You make me feel beautiful, cherished, desired and loved. I know the struggles that you have faced alone and I vow before you today that you will never be alone, for as long as we both shall live. You are my soul mate, my confidant, my best friend. I am yours, eternally."

I could no longer hold back the tears. My hands were shaking and my eyes were blurry as I watched Edward slip on the simple platinum band with diamonds embedded in it. I slid on the matching band on his hand.

"By the power of the state of Nevada, I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your bride."

I watched in slow motion as Edward bent his head towards mine, his eyes closed, his tongue wetting his lips. Ever so softly he pressed his lips to mine. Shivers of delight rolled through me as that familiar electrical charge zinged all through my body. I licked his lips in silent invitation. He parted his lips and our tongues met in slow, sensual dance. His breath was mine and I was his.

I pulled away to gasp for air. It was when I also noticed that Alice was clapping, loudly and Jasper was busy clicking away. Edward tucked me close to him and we swayed. There were just no words to describe what I was feeling.

We walked back out to the reception area where the attendant had our paperwork. I watched as Alice and Jasper signed their names as our witnesses and then Edward as he wrote in his elegant script. When the pen was handed to me I saw there was a place for me to put my maiden name and then my married name.

With a flourish I signed it, Isabella Marie Cullen.

We were given our copies and told that the official license would be mailed to us in Washington. I made a decision to ask Alice to watch out for it and out of the corner of my eye, she nodded. As we waited for a cab to take us back to the hotel, I finally figured out where I had heard the song that was playing as the chapel doors opened.

"That was my song wasn't it?"

Edward's face broke out into a huge smile as he nodded yes. I shook my head, this man was extraordinary and he was all mine.

"I love you, Edward."

"I love you, Mrs. Cullen."

The cab ride back to the hotel was silent; I spent it snuggled up next to Edward with a smile that I was unable to contain. We did it. I was married to Edward, I was irrevocably his and he was mine. I refused to think about the next few days, I would only focus on the here and now.

When we finally made it up to the room, we looked at each other; no words could encompass all that we were feeling. But what there was between us was a hunger. It hung heavy and thick. It charged the air; it pulled us closer and closer together. Our foreheads touched, our breathing ragged, his hands stroked my sides. My hands played in the hair at the nape of his neck while my heart thumped loudly.

I licked my lips, trying to get them wet to speak. "I'm going to change and freshen up." I kissed his lips and ran into the bathroom.

I leaned against the closed door, my hand over my wildly pounding heart. I needed to calm down before my body exploded. It felt as if every nerve ending was electrified, I could feel a thrumming racing through me. I craved Edward, his touch, his smell, his kisses.

Hurriedly, I stripped out of the dress; I folded it and placed it on the large counter by the sinks. I brushed my teeth, washed my face and then brushed my hair till it hung glossy and straight down my back. I dug through the bag that Alice had packed and when I pulled out the nightie, I smiled. It looked exactly like the one I wore when he asked me to marry him, except this one was white. I put it on along with the matching robe.

I took a few calming breaths before I opened the door. Boy was I glad I did. Edward was standing by the windows overlooking the strip. The lights were casting colored glows all over the room and Edward. He had taken off his shoes and his feet were bare, gone was the tie he wore earlier and his dress shirt was unbuttoned and hanging open. The signs from the strip created a kaleidoscope of reflected colored light on his chest.

He faced me and I watched as his eyes traveled from my bare feet to my face. His nostrils flared when he saw the nightie and robe, his eyes darkened when he saw me looking at him. I knew that desire was mirrored in both our eyes; I could feel it in the air.

He swallowed hard and licked his lips, "Take the robe off."

His voice was rough, thick with desire, but there was no mistaking the command in it. A shiver raced down my spine as his words washed over me. Without hesitation, I untied the belt of the robe, shrugged it off my shoulders and let it fall to the floor.

I cocked my knee out so it would expose the slit in the nightie. Edward's eyes flashed, dark, dangerous and so fucking needy. I swear I whimpered at the sight of it. I looked to his groin and I could see that he was hard. I wanted that, I _needed _that. I licked my lips and flicked my eyes from his face to his groin.

I couldn't form the words, to tell him, to explain the ever consuming desire I had for him. So I kept my eyes on him, begging him silently, hoping he will see what I am asking for. He held out his hand.

"Come here."

Again with the commands and again I followed it with no further thought. The idea of him being in control set my entire body aflame. It wasn't from a blush, no, but the overwhelming arousal that I felt at the mere idea of Edward being in control.

When I reached him, he didn't pull me close and something in me kept me from reaching for him. He focused his heated gaze on me, probing, searching, for what I had no clue. I could feel my nipples harden; my arousal grew and coated the tops of my thighs. I wanted to fidget, his scrutiny was too much. But I was frozen where I stood.

In a flash of movement, I was flush against the windows looking out. My hands where out at my sides and slightly above my head, his palms forcing mine to stay flush against the glass. His nose skimmed from my temple, down my cheek, nuzzled my earlobe and then ghosted down my neck. His icy breath cooled and heated my skin simultaneously.

"Stay. Don't move," he ordered.

I closed my eyes in surrender. For now he was my commander and I was at his mercy. I felt his hands at my ankles, long fingers touching, rubbing. When he reached the hem of my gown he slowly drew it up, exposing my naked pussy to the air, then my belly where goose bumps erupted, over my puckered nipples that grazed the cooler glass and finally it was off, carelessly thrown away.

His hands started a downward path, over my cheeks, lightly scraping my neck, over the bumps of my spine while the other flicked and kneaded my breasts, then moved to rub circles over my stomach. Both hands worked in tandem, while one rubbed and massaged my ass the other trailed fingers in my drenched slit, careful to avoid my clit.

"Needy, Bella?" his lips were so close to my ear I could feel them move.

My only response was to moan. My breath momentarily fogging up the glass.

"Oh, baby girl, I like it when you're needy. Want me to help?" With that he rubbed my slit more forcibly; I could hear my wetness as it coated his fingers. Whimpers escaped as I struggled not to turn around and push him to the bed. I wanted more, harder and so much deeper. I flexed my hips in hopes he will give me what I wanted.

"I told you, DON'.MOVE!"

My forehead fell to the glass in frustration. Mewls and cries of need fell from my lips. I was so fucking hot and horny. I was about to beg and plead for more when I felt his breath at my pussy. His hands pushed my thighs apart, giving him better access to my dripping center.

I opened my eyes in time to see the reflection of him as it delved towards my pussy. His cool tongue lapped at the juices that had collected, then traveled up and down my slit, coating it in his venom. My eyes were mesmerized by the sight of his head working between my thighs. His hands were like vices on my legs.

I lost myself in the feel of his tongue; rough, demanding, probing, teasing, demanding, sucking. All while leaving my poor clit neglected and throbbing. Too many times he would come close only to back away. I wanted to pound on the glass in helpless frustration one second only to fall to the talent of his tongue the next.

There came appoint where I couldn't take it any more. My legs were shaking, I was on the verge of cumming and I was about to say fuck it and grab his hair and move him to where I wanted him to be. Through the haze of need and want, I heard his chuckle. He could feel my restrained fury, the desire and want that simmered just beneath the surface.

When I was about to unleash hell on him, I felt it. So soft at first that I wondered if I imagined it before I felt it again. It was a soft fluttering against my clit. It wasn't nearly hard enough to get me off and I wanted to grind myself on his tongue, take care of my orgasm myself.

But before I could break his commands, he laid the flat of his tongue against it, rasping it over and over. Harder and faster he went, his tongue had turned into a mini clit vibrator. He suckled and licked it. My eyes clenched shut and my head fell hard against the window. I concentrated on the magic that was Edward's tongue. I rushed towards the cliff, needing to fall, to tumble into oblivion. The tight pressure of his lips and the humming finally pushed me over.

I screamed in pleasure as waves and waves washed over me in relentlessly. I felt the gush of fluid and the sound of his lips and tongue slurping it all up. As I floated, suspended in that sweet place of bliss I felt the tip of his cock as it slammed into me.

Instantly I was overtaken by another orgasm so powerful that my whole body fell against the window. Edward wrapped his arms around me and then began to pound his cock deep inside me. My orgasm hadn't finished so I hung there, never really ending but never increasing. There was a constant fluttering of my pussy, a stream of fluid that coated his cock and the constant motion of Edward fucking me.

I panted, whined, groaned even begged him for more. My head thrashed from side to side, fighting the overwhelming feeling of him being so deep in me. Every ridge, every vein was being tattooed to the inside of my pussy. I could feel it all.

He was everywhere; in my pussy, in my ear whispering to me how much he wanted me, in my heart, his hands caressed every inch of my skin. My body was being tuned to him, I was his finely instrument that only he could play.

Without shame I begged him; more, harder, deeper.

I screamed my love for him over and over.

I screamed that I was his, only his. His voice joined in, chanting that I was his. He was claiming me all over again, this time as his wife. Those bonds that bound us as we claimed, then as we mated grew stronger, thicker, they multiplied.

Over and over he pounded his cock into me. His pace was maddening, relentless. He reached so deep in me I swear he touched my cervix. Even though I was leaning against the cool glass and Edward's icy body was behind me, I was hot. Sweat beaded on my brow, I could feel it gathering between my breasts.

I couldn't move, locked so tight into his embrace. I was completely at his mercy, only able to do what he willed, what he compelled me to do and I thrived in it. I wanted more, tighter, harder, and faster. I tried to tell him, but all I could manage were whimpers and cries. Finally, I just let myself feel secure in his arms.

He pulled me up, away from the window and with a mighty growl, I felt him let go and it triggered me as well. One more strangled cry ripped from me as I shattered. I felt Edward as he emptied into me, one cool spurt after another, it seemed endless.

When my body rearranged itself back together, I slumped in his arms. My entire body felt like jello, I couldn't feel my legs anymore and I struggled to breath. I was shaking and crying, not able to contain how I fucking felt. It was too much. I clutched onto Edward, there was no way I would let him leave.

We fell onto the bed, a pile of legs and arms intertwined. His hands ran down my body, helping to calm me down, he matched our breathing to each other and I nuzzled myself close. In time, my breathing slowed and my heart stopped feeling as if it was busting through my chest.

I wanted to ask him, why, where did this all come from. But the more that I thought about it, the more I didn't care. It was what he needed and I had just vowed to give him whatever he needed. There was no need to ask questions, I was just happy to give him what he needed.

With my last thought, I whispered, "I love you, Edward."

**A/N: Awww they are married! WOOO HOOO! Picture of Bella's wedding dress is on my FB profile.. check it out.. come friend me. I post teasers and other fun stuff..like a pic of the suite they stayed in!**

**Check out CullensTwiMistress awesome drabble- Bubble Gum and Spiderman.. link to her FF page on my profile... You will LOVE this Edward.. soo fucking sweet!**

**So.. did ya like this one? Tell me your thoughts... k? Go.. push that button... please?**


	39. Ch 38

**A/N: WOW! You guys really, really loved the wedding! Makes me smile! Thank you too all who faved and alerted...**

**I owe a HUGE thanks to my girls over on FB.. your support as I wrote this chapter gave me the determination I needed to get this done! *mwah***

**To Fanfichardcore and JA Mash for letting me vent and poke thru their brains. CullensTwiMistress and Fanfichardcore for using their names in this chapter.**

**A TREMENDOUS LOVE YOU to CTM... for reading this to make it better even when she didn't want.**

**Disclaimer- I don't own Twilight, just this story which is slowly coming to an end.**

*******I have been told to issue a KLEENEX ALERT!***** You have been warned- Enjoy!**

Chapter 38

Surprise POV-

"Be careful, son. Take care of Bella and we will see you in a few days if everything goes according to plan."

"We will, Dad. We're not sure how long we will be, it depends on how Bella is feeling. I'm gonna take things slow."

I smiled at the concern I heard in his voice when it came to Bella.

"That sounds good. Love you both."

"Love you, too."

With that we both hung up. I threw the secondary phone on the bed beside me and scrubbed my face. Everything had been put into motion. There was no turning back, we had done all we could and the rest would be decided as we went.

I kept my head in my hands as I thought over the last few months and all that had happened. I still wasn't sure how I felt about it all. But either way, I would support Edward and Bella. This was their life and they needed to do what they felt was right for them.

But as a father, I was torn. Torn between knowing I should support my children and feeling like I was back-stabling Charlie. Those feelings only intensified after my phone call with him a few days ago. It was a necessary part of the plan, but still, I couldn't help but feel like I was betraying Charlie.

_A few days earlier….._

"_Forks Police Department, how may I help you?"_

"_May I speak to Chief Swan, please?" I asked gently._

"_May I ask who is calling?" asked the receptionist._

"_Dr. Cullen." I rarely pulled out the doctor card, but it would only help to ensure that my call went through._

"_One moment, Dr. Cullen."_

_I was placed on hold where dreadful and scratchy elevator music echoed over the receiver. Within forty-five seconds, I heard Charlie pick up the other line._

"_Hello, Dr. Cullen."_

"_Hello, Charlie. How are you?" I asked sincerely._

"_Good, good. How are things in California? How is Bella?"_

_I was thankful that Charlie gave me the opening I needed. I took a deep breath and played my part in this charade. _

"_Um, things are going good, for the most part. Have you heard from Bella recently?" I made sure to put a mixture of apprehension and concern in my voice._

"_I spoke to her a few days ago, after she saw the apartment." I could already hear the alarm in his voice._

"_But you haven't heard from her since then?"_

"_No, why? Is something wrong?" Out came the police voice with a smattering of protective father. It was that moment when I first felt as if I had betrayed Charlie._

"_Well, I don't think anything is wrong. But Bella and the kids took off and we haven't heard from them. I was hoping that maybe Bella called you at least seeing as mine have not called nor have they responded to any of my calls. Bella seems to be the more responsible one out of the bunch." I chuckled dryly._

"_What do you mean 'took off'?"_

_I sighed, "Yesterday afternoon, they stated they were going out shopping and sightseeing. We figured with all four of them, it would be fine. But they didn't return last night. When we checked their room's we saw that some of their clothing were missing. We think that they may have gone on a road trip."_

_I gave an exasperated huff to show him my displeasure at their behavior._

"_Jasper sent a text early this morning saying they were okay, but nothing more. I was hoping that Bella called you to give you more information. I see I was mistaken."_

_I was greeted with silence and I was sure that Charlie was in full police mode, analyzing and making plans. It was agonizing. My mind was running rampant with ideas of what he must be thinking and feeling. I knew that Bella meant the world to him. I felt so very selfish for taking her away from him. But she is who my son is in love with. How can I deny him that?_

_I can't._

"_Well," he finally began, "most places won't file a missing persons report until forty-eight hours have passed. With all four of them gone, the likelihood that they were abducted is very slim, especially with two males in the group."_

_He took a pregnant pause and I knew immediately where his mind went. So his next words were no surprise._

"_That leaves us with a few more likely scenarios. One, being that they did go on a little road trip and are being highly irresponsible by not calling to check-in or they were in an accident. Either way, there is not a whole hell of a lot that we can do until we either hear from them or they are found."_

_Now it was his turn to give an exasperated sigh._

"_I guess all we can do it wait and see if they call."_

"_The moment I hear from them, I will make sure Bella calls you, Charlie. I am so very sorry this happened. This isn't like my kids either."_

_Those words were not enough to express how sorry I was to be doing what I was doing. But for the safety of all involved, which included Charlie, it needed to be done this way._

"_Well, they are all eighteen." I could almost see his eye roll._

_I chuckled, "That may be true, but there not acting like adults either."_

_We spoke for a few moments more and I assured him that I would call him in a few hours if I hadn't heard from them. I knew we would, but still, I had a role to play._

I knew from a call that I received from Alice later that day, that Bella's phone call was tough on her. Charlie gave her a stern and admonishing lecture. She took it in stride, accepted it. The good part was that by the end of it, Bella was able to calm him down and he wasn't too mad. Bella didn't want to have the last few words they would ever speak to each other be in anger.

I got up from the bed to look outside. We had a fantastic woodland view. Esme and I had hunted very briefly last night to prepare for the next few days. Standing, just staring outside was how Esme found me over an hour later.

Her tiny arms wrapped around my chest as she laid her head in the middle of my back. I tangled my hand with hers, feeling her strength. I wish I could see things her way. She was excited for Bella to be joining her family. Like me, she already considered her our daughter. But she had no reservations, no inklings of guilt; she didn't wrestle with feelings of betrayal.

In her mind it was rather simple. Edward and Bella belong together. She was her son's mate and she would do anything to make sure he was happy. Even if it meant that Charlie would lose his child. I knew some would see that as cold and harsh. But it was simply Esme willing go that extra mile to make one of her children happy. She was the Mama bear and she was fiercely protective of them. There wasn't anything she would do to make them happy.

"Edward called," I told her, finally breaking the silence, "it's all done. They are on their way back home. Now all we can do is to wait for everything else to happen."

"Did he say when we should expect Alice and Jasper?"

"He thought by late tonight, they were on their way to see if they could catch a flight."

I couldn't help the sigh that escaped.

"Carl, look at me." Her tone was firm but loving.

I turned to look into her honey colored eyes. She rubbed my cheek soothingly and I relaxed into her touch.

"You got to let go of all this. Why torment yourself? You have done nothing wrong, you have not betrayed Charlie."

I bent forward, touching her forehead to mine, I breathed in her familiar scent of honeysuckle and rain.

"I know, Essie. But I keep thinking how I would feel if I was in Charlie's place. He's going to be devastated. I know I would be," I whispered.

"Yes, he will. But we are doing this for Edward, our _son_. He has been alone far too long. Bella has changed him. He is happy, Bella makes him happy. Would you deny him that?"

She was right. I had watched him struggle his entire life, watched as he tried to find his place in this world. It nearly killed me to see him become broody, withdrawn, bitter and depressed. But Bella changed all that- changed him. It was like night and day difference.

"No, I couldn't. Not after all that he has been through. He deserves happiness."

Esme smiled such a brilliant smile, that I couldn't help but smile back. She knew just what to say to help me.

"We need to focus on Bella. She will need us. We have a responsibility to Charlie and Renee to do right by her. We are her family now and we need to support her and Edward."

I nodded and hugged her close. She was right once again. The choices were made, the actions were done, and everything was in motion. There was no time or place for guilt and second thoughts. There was only the road ahead of us to concentrate on.

Later that night, Jasper and Alice returned. They were filled with pictures of the wedding and had a video that the chapel took of it. We all watched it feeling extremely excited for Edward and Bella. The love in their eyes, in the very words of their vows was unmistakable. Seeing them so happy and joyful helped to ease the guilt I felt.

Early the next morning I received a call from Emmett. The California State Patrol called the house looking for me and Edward. They directed them to my cell and the hotel we were staying at. When I hung up, Alice had a vision that they would be at the hotel within the next two hours. Ninety minutes later they knocked on the door.

We all took a breath or two. We had roles to play that had to be perfect. There could be no missteps or holes to our stories. We had too much riding on the success of this plan.

Esme arranged herself on the couch in our suite and pulled an architecture book into her lap. Jasper and Alice cuddled up on the couch with a movie playing. They all gave me a nod telling me they were ready and I opened the door to see two female uniformed police officers. I schooled my face to be passive, but concerned.

"Hello. How can I help you?"

One of the officers with long brown hair that was pulled back into a ponytail took off her cap and flashed her badge. "I am Officer Melissa Smith with the California State Patrol and this is my partner Officer Lissa Gillespie." She gestured to the second female who had also removed her cap and showed me her credentials.

"May we come in and speak with you?" asked Officer Gillespie. I nodded and moved to the side and gestured for them to come inside.

I went to sit by Esme who had abandoned her book. Out of the corner of my eye I saw worry etched all over her face.

"What can we help you with Officers?"

They flicked their eyes at each other, mentally preparing themselves. I had seen this move a million times, I had done it myself, and each time there was bad news to deliver at the hospital. One of them opened up a file that they were carrying, one that I had not noticed in my anxiety.

They flipped a few pages and pulled out several photos, which they handed to me.

"Do you recognize any of these belongings?"

I gasped as I looked at charred scraps of paper, warped leather and a beat-up looking back pack. Esme placed a handover her mouth as she looked at them over my shoulder. One of her fingers shakily pointed to one of the pictures.

"That belongs to Edward. I gave it to him a few years back as a birthday gift." She turned a cautious eye to the Officers watching us quietly. "What's going on, Officers?"

Officer Smith walked closer and looked us both in the eyes.

"We believe that your son was involved in a car accident in the Inyo National Forest. Officers at the scene stated that they found a rental car that was under your son's name."

Sharp intakes of breath were sounded from us all, Esme's trembling grew and Alice and Jasper looked deeply troubled.

"Is he ok? What about Bella?" The fear in my voice was real. Just the thought of my life without either of them caused me to panic.

"We don't believe there were any survivors. The car exploded upon impact. It had gone off the road and down a steep embankment. There was not much left of the car."

The words hung there in the air for just a short second before Alice and Esme began to sob. Alice buried her face in Jaspers chest to apply the tears we could not produce. Esme's shaking hands became like iron shackles on my arm as she buried her face against my back. Venom welled in my eyes as I held back the sobs threatening to spin forth.

"Bella? What about Bella? She was in the car with Edward. She's his girlfr- I meant wife. She's his wife. They went to Vegas to get married."

The second officer gestured back to the forgotten photos in my hand, "Does any of this belong to her?"

I looked again, this time showing them to Alice as well. "Honey, is any of this Bella's?"

She lifted her tear stained face to look. Her eyes went wide when she looked at the picture of the backpack. She nodded at it, "The backpack. It's what she took to Vegas with her. I helped her pack." She ended with a wail and buried her face once more.

Officer Gillespie turned towards her and Jasper. "When did you see them last?"

Jasper cleared his throat, pain clearly written all over his face. "A few days ago," he mumbled. "We had breakfast with them a day ago. They were checking out and were planning on a little road trip back here. They wanted some time together, like a mini honeymoon."

"Did you go to Vegas with them? Was it a planned trip?" questioned Officer Smith.

A wry smile ghosted over Jasper's lips and then it was gone. "Sorta. I had made arrangements; hotel and chapel reservation. But it wasn't for Edward and Bella, it was for me and Alice. But on the plane ride over, Alice was talking to Bella about Vegas weddings and how she wanted a big church one. Well, I couldn't go through with my plans then."

He took a deep breath, calming himself, scrubbing his face with both hands.

"I convinced Edward and Bella to take the room I reserved and was going to cancel the chapel reservations when Bella said she wanted to try talking Edward into getting married. She did and they got married a few days ago. He talked her into a small road trip." He gulped loudly, "She wanted to fly back with us." With that he sobbed and clutched tightly to Alice.

"How did the accident happen? What caused it?" I couldn't hold back those questions any longer.

"It's hard to know for sure," answered Officer Gillespie, "the fire destroyed what evidence there would be. We found skid marks on the road that lead to where the car went off the road. The road is very curvy and for someone unfamiliar with it and maybe going a bit too fast…"

What she left unsaid floated in the air. Too fast around a curve and there would be no way to recover.

She continued her story, but I wished she hadn't. The visuals her words evoked made me feel nauseous.

"Near as we can determine, the car went off the road, appeared to flip several times by all the glass and debris there was at the scene. Something caused the gas tank to explode and it set the car on fire."

Behind me Jasper groaned and Alice whimpered. "No, no," was her chant.

"What about guard rails? Certainly there were some especially on a road like that," cried Esme.

"There was ma'am," replied Officer Smith. "But it was damaged and had yet to be repaired."

"Are you sure they were in the car? Maybe they crawled off?" I could hear the hysteria in Esme's voice.

I wrapped her in my arms, "They have to be wrong Carl. They have to! Not my baby, not Bella."

Her entire body shook with her sobs; strangled keening noises were broken by her gasping sobs. She moved to the couch to wrap Japer and Alice into a fierce hug. She rocked them back and forth, stroking their hair. She needed to know that they were still here, that she hadn't lost them too.

Somehow I tore my gaze away from my broken family to look at the Officers expectantly. Maybe Esme was right. Maybe Edward and Bella were out there, badly injured but still alive.

"We found no tracks of any kind. No foot prints, drag marks, not even animal tracks. We found a few charred bone fragments, but they won't allow for DNA testing. Forensics was able to identify them as human." The sympathy I saw on Officer Smith's face was enough to confirm the harsh truth.

Wails erupted in the room and I sunk to the couch behind me. There was nothing left to cling to. Edward and Bella were both gone, in just a blink of an eye- just gone.

"Mr. Cullen, do you happen to have the name of Bella's next of kin? We need to notify them of the accident," asked Officer Gillespie.

"Oh, God! Charlie." I ran my hands thru my hair in a move that resembled what Edward used to do. There was a family joke about who did the move first, me or Edward. We never figured it out.

"I should call him, Officers. He's back home, in Washington. He is the Police Chief of Forks." I turned around, patting my pockets trying to find my phone.

"Your phone is on the table, sir." I my eyes followed where she was pointing. I rose to pick it up only to realize I was shaking. "You don't have to do this, Mr. Cullen. We can call the Chief."

"No! I am not going to let Charlie hear about this from some stranger. He's family damn it! He deserves better." I placed the call before the anger I felt gave away to the overwhelming sadness that was threatening to consume me.

Charlie answered on the second ring and I hadn't enough time to prepare, to try and calm myself down.

"Charlie," I croaked out. "I…I got…oh my…Charlie."

I couldn't say the words. How did I tell him that Bella was…she was just… I couldn't even _think_ the words much less say them.

"Dr. Cullen? What's wrong?" He was trying to stay calm, but anxiety flowed through the phone, I could almost taste it.

The sob ripped out of me before I could contain it. "The Police are here. There's been an accident. They went off the road. Car exploded. They didn't make it. Both gone, Charlie. Edward and Bella…they…they…gone."

I couldn't say any more. One of the Officers took the phone from my hand. In a muddled haze I vaguely heard her talking to Charlie, telling him what I failed to do. I huddled with my family. We held each other, cried and whispered how much we loved each other.

Through it all, it was hard to remember that Edward and Bella were really alive. I knew Jasper was helping us show grief and sadness in a way that was more human. But what I was feeling when I called Charlie was all me. I pushed forward all the guilt and shame I felt for taking Bella from Charlie.

I almost wanted to rip the phone from the Officer's hand and drown in Charlie's sorrow. Let his anguished cries be imprinted into my psyche. Let his sobs of true sorrow and grief be part of my sins. But I knew if I was completely honest with myself, I wouldn't change a thing. Not when Edward's happiness was at stake.

Somehow, I was aware enough to tell the Officer's that I would be down tomorrow to pick up the kids effects. Since there were actual human remains they needed to be released to a mortuary. I told them that I would make the necessary arrangements.

With a few 'Sorry for your losses', the door clicked closed and we were all alone. Silence hung heavy in the room. Jasper held Alice in a death grip. The pain and agony he had felt and helped to project onto us took a toll on him. Alice's eyes were glassy and far away. Esme was staring out the window, lost in her own world of thought.

I held my breath, waiting for someone to talk about we heard. We weren't prepared to hear what we did. Alice's visions did not see this. But how could it? How could a parent ever know how they will react to the news that their child had died. But one thing was certain, Charlie's anguished cries would echo in my head for all eternity.

The next few days blurred together, it was chaotic whirlwind of phone calls and plans. A local funeral home made arrangements to transport the small amount of remains to another funeral home in Port Angeles. I went to the Police Station to pick up the small box of charred and smoky smelling belongings. Esme made arrangements for us to head back home.

The plane ride back was quiet and subdued. I had called Charlie to let him know that we were on our way back and I would see him soon. I barely recognized his voice. It was raspy and so very quiet. I didn't know this man and it made me uneasy. I wanted him to be mad, to blame me. I wanted him to be pissed at me and maybe call me some choice words. Anything to ease the guilt I felt. But the broken and lost sounding man was too much for me to bear. Once again I was back to wondering if I had done the right thing by allowing them to go this route.

Back home, we were meet by Rose and Emmett who picked up immediately on our subdued moods. They confirmed that Edward and Bella made it home safely. They were currently holed up in the cottage. I asked Emmett to run to let them know we were back and to stay there. We didn't need an unexpected visitor to come and ruin everything we've done. Esme and I would come and talk to them later on.

I made calls to the hospital to ask for leave. When I informed them as to why, it was quickly granted. I had a feeling that I wouldn't be back. Edward was anxious that Bella's change happen soon and he wanted me nearby to help. I made other arrangements with the funeral home, but put off on the big decisions until I talked to Charlie. I knew that Renee and Phil would be in town, Alice saw them arrive yesterday.

When I had procrastinated as much as I could, I knew I couldn't put off seeing Charlie anymore. Esme and Alice met me at the door with the few belongings of Bella's that were salvageable. Alice had a way with Charlie so she asked to come along. It seemed appropriate as she was Bella's best friend.

The man who opened the door took my breath away. He was haggard, tired and blank. His eyes were puffy from crying, his posture looked defeated. Alice rushed to him and he crushed her to him. Tears streaked down his face as he stroked my daughter's head. Esme burrowed close to me as we watched.

Renee was sitting on the couch and looked on with a wistful expression. When Alice and Charlie finally pulled apart, she gave them the box. They spent some time looking through it. Esme deftly helped us navigate through the decisions we had yet to make. It was emotionally exhausting and draining. I longed for the ability to cry, to release the bevy of emotions that were building in my body.

Hours later and we were on our way back home. The service was set for the day after tomorrow. Charlie consented to them being buried side by side and to a headstone with Bella's married name. Renee wept as she watched the video of the wedding in Vegas. Charlie just sat and stared at the TV as if it was his life line. A few times I heard him murmur '_beautiful_' and '_she looks so happy_'.

When we were back home, I wanted to collapse on my bed, I felt weary for the first time in over three hundred years. Not even during Edward's rebellious period did I feel so drained. But my day wasn't even close to being done, I still had to go and see Edward and Bella. Knowing her like I did, she would want to know everything that had happened. Everything.

With a heavy heart and an even heavier conscious, I made my way to their cottage. It was time to burst their little bubble of happiness.

BPOV

It felt as if I was watching a scene from CSI, but instead of trying to solve what happened, they were trying to find a way to make it believable. Jasper and Alice met us at the sight, it was early evening and the road was pretty deserted. I sat to the side and watched as they took in the road and the embankment. They spent about twenty minutes discussing the best way to stage the accident.

When they had decided on a course of action, I watched as Edward drove back down the road, came screaming up, tires squealed and the car went off the road. I gasped when I thought for a moment that Edward wasn't able to get out of the car in time. I ran to the road and was pulled back by Alice as the car exploded in flames.

"Edward!" I screamed.

"Shh, he's ok Bella. He has to throw in the bones at the right time so that there is something left to find. He's ok."

My heart pounded in my ears until I heard Edward shout, "I'm fine, Bella." I nodded and Alice let me go.

Jasper came up to say he scattered some debris to make it look like it came out the windows. His face was eerily lit by the orange and yellow flames coming from the side of the road. They hypnotized me. I lost myself in them and once again I prayed my parents would forgive me.

It wasn't as if I was having second thoughts, far from it. Edward was who and what I wanted. But now I realized the price that would have to be paid for that and I realized that it wasn't just a sacrifice on my behalf. I was sacrificing my parents and maybe even their happiness. But it was the lesser price to pay. I knew that couldn't live without Edward.

Once the bones that Carlisle had procured from points unknown were tossed into the dying fire, it was time for Edward and me to head back home. It would be several hours before the wreckage would be found, but Edward didn't want to take the chance. We all ran to the car that Alice and Jasper had rented to drive out here to pick up the supplies Edward and I would need.

Seeing as we were supposed to be dead, I would have to rough it. No fancy hotels for the human. Edward was running us home, but we had to stay away from populated areas. Plus, there would be times when I would need to walk which would slow us down. Alice was thinking that it would take us three maybe four days to make it back. It didn't sound like fun to me.

Edward loaded up the tent, sleeping bag and food on his back while I got to be held in his arms. Not too bad if I say so myself. After several hugs between Alice and me, we took off. I couldn't look at first. I needed to get used to the sensation of us running. After about twenty minutes I was able to look and enjoy the ride.

We were silent for the first part, both of us lost in our own little worlds I suspect. My mind was always wondering if they had found the car. Had the Cullen's been told, had my dad? I tried to shy away from imagining how he would react, but every once in awhile the thoughts would creep in and they were hard to dislodge. Out of the corner of my eyes I would glance at Edward, to see if I could figure out what he was thinking. He looked sad and concerned but there was a determination that I had a hard time understanding.

We talked a bit about my transformation, we were both wanting to do it sooner rather than later. The only sticking point was that Edward stated he wasn't sure how he was going to fill my last request- to have him bite me without knowing about it. He said he had a few ideas, but with all the planning for this we had done, he hadn't had a chance to talk to Alice to see what would work.

He also wanted Carlisle to be with him, just in case he couldn't handle the taste of my blood. Plus all the Cullen's wanted to be there for various reasons as well. Which meant that we had to wait until it wouldn't look too suspicious for the Cullen's to leave Forks.

In all, it took us about three and half days to make the trek back to Forks. I felt weird at being back and it was hard to pinpoint why. Emmett and Rose come to the cottage shortly after we arrived. They said that the California State Police had called the house not too long ago, which means they found the wreckage. My stomach flipped at that and I felt an overwhelming sense of panic and fear.

Edward noticed my panic and somehow managed to get his siblings out of the house in a matter of moments.

"What's wrong, love?" he asked while he held me close.

I shook my head, trying to make sense of the jumbled emotions in my mind. "I'm not sure. I guess knowing that everything is in motion, there is no going back…" I drifted off; I had no words for what I was feeling.

We quietly took a shower and cuddled together in our bed. I needed to feel his arms around me, to feel safe, secure and loved. We said nothing; he just rocked me and hummed my song until I finally fell asleep.

We got word when I woke that everyone would be home early the next day. It left me feeling sad and pensive. I knew in my gut that Charlie had been told. As of that moment, Isabelle Swan ceased to be a living person. It felt weird and surreal.

I tried my best to stay busy. While Edward went off on a short hunt, Rose came down and helped me bake. Our friendship was growing each day. She talked about how she and Emmett were doing and that she no longer felt so angry anymore. They planned to take another longer trip later to help things improve.

I asked her questions about watching Em going through his transformation, trying to find anything that would make mine easier on Edward. She chuckled when I told her why I was asking.

"Bella, nothing will help him. He will have to watch his mate go through three days of hell. We will be lucky if we can keep him from going bald."

We both laughed at her reference to his constant hair pulling while stressed. The subject of my transformation was dropped altogether as we continued making cookies. When Edward arrived back home, he told her that she needed to get back to the main house as she had to leave shortly with Emmett to pick up the family.

My nerves spiked with the news that the family would be home soon. I couldn't tell you why, it was just how I felt. Part of me was apprehensive and nervous; there was another part that was so very scared, which made even less sense to me. I tried to shake it off while Edward was showering the hunt off him, I didn't want him to see me this way, but it was hard.

We spent the rest of the day cuddled on the couch; soft classical music played which soothed some of my frazzled nerves. Edward received a text on his phone from Alice to say they were home but that they had to head to Charlie's soon. At that, I went to vomit. How did I ever think I could do this?

Edward was wonderful; he held my hair and rubbed my back. He got me crackers to eat and weak tea to sip. An hour later another text, again from Alice, told us that Carlisle would be coming to see us once he was done at Charlie's. Again, I vomited everything I ate. It was only then that I could put a name to the emotion churning in my gut. It was guilt.

I spent the next few hours trying not to cry. I had made my choice, I was reaping my consequences. I knew that this was going to be hard, that for now there would be no winners, just losers. But it didn't help. Edward was silently freaking out besides me and it only added to my pain. I knew this was hard on him, but I had no words of comfort which made me feel even worse.

So it was no surprise that when Carlisle finally made it to the cottage, I was a wreck. I was shaking, the urge to vomit never left me and my face hurt from the force I was using to keep my tears at bay. But one look at him and I lost it. Never had I seen Carlisle look so lost, so drained. All I could think was that I had done this to him.

I asked about Charlie, needing to hear about my father, even if it tore me apart, I had to hear. So Carlisle sat down next to me and told me everything; from the first call in California and how devastated he sounded, to the other calls in which he seemed distant and robotic. I soaked up information about the visit that they just got back from and how Charlie looked so crushed.

Each bit of information lashed at my heart. I started hoping that the fire of my transformation would scrub away the memories. But more than that, there was Carlisle, who somehow looked more broken when he finished than when he started. The guilt that gnawed away at me came back with a vengeance and the tears I held at bay, flooded my eyes and streamed down my face.

"I'm so very sorry, Carlisle," I launched myself in his arms and he caged me with steel arms. He rocked me from side to side, letting my tears soak his shirt as he stroked my head. "I'm so sorry I put you through that. It wasn't fair…I…I didn't even… th-th-think about wh-what you had t-t-to do." My sobs were making it harder for me to talk.

"Shh, my dear. There is nothing to be sorry for. I would do it again in a heartbeat- I did it for you both."

I felt his muscles relax beneath me and wondered if this weighed as heavily on him as it did me. How long we sat there together I don't remember. But what I will always remember was how safe and loved I felt in his arms. It wasn't like how I felt in Edward's, no this was different. This was like coming home; it was like a father's love for his daughter. In that moment, I was transformed into his daughter.

The next days were somber as the main house prepared for the service. It was going to be graveside only as neither my parents nor the Cullen's wanted a wake. I knew that both Esme and Carlisle were in contact with my parents, but I asked for no more details. As Edward had explained, there was no need to torture myself. It was done. He was right. I knew that Charlie was suffering; there was no need to know any more than that.

"Are you sure you still want to go? You don't have to, Bella."

Edward's words were soft and loving and I knew he was worried about me. But I needed this. It wasn't so much as me saying goodbye to my parents, but more me saying goodbye to my mortality. I know it sounds creepy and maybe a bit morbid, but it was true. Today my family was burying human Bella. After today, that part of my life would be over.

I knew that my transformation wouldn't happen today or even a week from today, but it was on the horizon. Edward had his plan, Alice had seen its success, and he would be able to make sure I didn't know beforehand.

Edward ran me out to the cemetery an hour before the service was to start. With the gravesites that were picked, it wasn't at all certain that I would be able to hear much as we needed to stay in the trees. But Edward got me as close as he could and swung me up onto a sturdy branch.

Silently, I watched as people walked to the site. It amazed me the number of people. The entire Police Department was there, Carlisle's colleagues from the hospital, class mates and even Billy and Jake. I didn't know how I felt, watching everyone cry over a box that held unknown human remains. Edward told me that our parents decided to bury them together. On one hand it felt very romantic and on the other just weird.

I forced myself to look at everyone, not because I wanted to make sure they were mourning, but to keep me from being hyper focused on my parents. It was hard enough to hear my mom wailing over Reverend Weber's service, or see my stoic father clutch onto Alice as if he was a drowning man.

In a time that seemed all too short and all too long at the same time, it was over. Slowly, people came to pay last respects. Mike, Jessica and Angela threw flowers into the hole that would house the small wooden box. One by one everyone left until it was just my father.

He stared at the box and the small plaques that bore our names. I held my breath, uncertain what he would do, but unable to tear my eyes away. It was when he finally knelt next to the stone etched with Edward's name that silence was broken, by Edward. His sudden gasp took me by surprise and I whipped my head around.

"What? Edward?"

I saw venom swimming in his eyes before he closed them. His breaths were staggered and raspy and I was so fucking confused. I was just about to shake him when he spoke. I had to strain to hear his whispered words.

"He's telling me to take care of you. That it's now my job to look out for you and protect you."

I buried my head into his chest as I cried.

"I will, Charlie, I will," came his whispered vow.

We were getting ready to leave when we saw Alice running after Charlie, calling out frantically to him.

"What's she doing?"

"Watch," was all he replied.

When she finally caught up, they talked and after a few seconds she reached into the bag she carried and pulled out my journal. That journal was the only way I knew how to say goodbye to my Dad. In it I wrote how much I loved living with him and that I never regretted my choice to move here. I wrote about meeting Edward and falling in love. I wrote how exciting it was, but how much I wanted Charlie to approve. It was how I told him I was happy.

I watched as she placed it into Charlie's hands.

"What is she telling him?" I asked as I could see her lips moving but unable to hear her.

"She told him that you left it behind in California and that she forgot to give it to him earlier. Charlie is surprised to see that you kept a journal. Alice is telling him that it is one way that you will be with him forever."

They hugged once more before they went their separate ways.

"Thanks, Alice," whispered Edward.

I looked at him quizzically, "What's the thanks for?"

"She had a vision of your dad, reading the journal and smiling. She also said there is a good chance that he may get together with Sue Clearwater."

I closed my eyes in relief and for the first time in days, I truly believed everything was going to be ok.

The next few weeks went by in a blur. Carlisle returned to the hospital on a limited basis until he eventually put in his notice. The story was that Esme and the kids were having a hard time adjusting and that they wanted to move. They told everyone that they were going to Ithaca, New York where Carlisle would be teaching.

Esme said that my Dad took the news well and did not begrudge them leaving. It took Charlie a full month to return to work. Sue had even talked him into seeing a therapist, that surprised me most of all. But if that is what it would take to help him heal and find a way to move forward, I was all for it.

Plans were made for us to visit with the Denali's before we moved onto the new house in northwestern Canada. I spent the days helping them pack up belongings and sending things to storage. It amazed me how well it all went. But when Edward reminded me that had more than enough experience in moving, it made sense.

I packed up the cottage which didn't take me long, but it helped me feel as if I was helping. Since we had returned, Edward and I lived here full time. Which I loved. We needed this time to get back to a feeling of normalcy. It also allowed me to grieve without an audience. Many nights Edward held me as I cried myself to sleep, never once did he make me feel weak.

When the day came that we were to leave, we packed up our few suitcases that we need for the road trip, locked the doors and sped away into the night. I was grateful that we left at night as it made it that much easier for me to not look back. Forks was my past, I was headed towards my future.

Four days later and I was lying in the back of Carlisle's Mercedes, snuggled up in Edward's arms. I had just lost another alphabet game to Emmett. We were playing via text and I complained that his vision gave him an unfair edge. I told him that I would challenge him to another game, after I was changed.

We had just gotten moving again after a potty break for me. Esme had moved to Alice's car to talk last minute remodeling to her and Jasper's room. I was getting anxious to arrive in Denali. I had heard so much about them that I was very curious.

"Sleep, love. We should arrive in Denali when you wake."

He stroked my head and hummed my song and it wasn't too long before I was lulled into a deep sleep.

The next thing I knew, the car was filled with my screams, never had I felt such pain.

**A/N: Are you all ok? Do we need a group hug? Please... tell me your thoughts... love, hate, indifferent...anything... something...**

**What's your theories for what happened at the end? Ok.. now go hit that button...**


	40. Ch 39

**A/N; Ok.. because I left the last chapter in a cliffie.. I'll make this note short... but PLEASE check out the A/N below... got some news for ya!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related.. what I do own is a healthy obession! ENJOY! Panty Alert!**

Chapter 39

EPOV

The warm wet deliciousness of Bella's blood coated my teeth and tongue. My mouth was flooded with venom and I tried to remember why I shouldn't swallow. Her taste was indescribable, but it felt as if my mouth was exploding with flavor. I screwed my eyes closed and concentrated on the task of pumping my venom into her neck. It was pure torture not to be drawing on the vein I tapped into.

_Pump venom, Edward. Don't swallow._

Carlisle's voice broke through my muddled mind and I went back to the task at hand. By now the car was stopped and Carlisle was in the back with me securing Bella's legs. After I had pumped a significant amount of venom into her neck, I ran my tongue over my bite marks, sealing the wound to keep the venom inside.

I quickly grabbed one wrist and sunk my teeth into the tender flesh there. The tiny veins throbbed under my tongue and I had the fight back my vampiric nature that just wanted to suck the fuck out of her.

_She's you wife…. Your mate…. You will not fail her…._

That mantra ran all through my head as I worked under my father's watchful eyes. Before I was able to seal up the first wrist, Bella screamed. If I had a heart, it would have stopped at that sound. It not only pierced the silence, it sliced my heart to ribbons. Her body began to convulse and I tightened my hold on her upper body while Carlisle held her legs firm.

I quickly grabbed the second wrist, bit it and closed it up. Alice had the car door behind me open and I lithely got out and did my best to keep Bella wrapped in the blanket. My arms turned into a cage as I followed Alice to our house. Bella struggled uselessly against me, her screams never abated. I wished that I could take the pain away, that I could suffer the fire of transformation in her place. Instead I just murmured into her ear how much I loved her and that I would never leave her.

When Bella told me she didn't want to know when I would change her, I was nervous. Suddenly it felt as if this huge responsibility was placed upon me. Even after she had explained that she thought if she knew ahead of time that she would become nervous and freak out, I felt burdened. But I could see how much this meant to her.

I actually came up with the idea of changing her when she was asleep during the time of our mating. She looked so peaceful and I remember thinking that she slept so soundly that I doubt anything would wake her up. When the thought crossed my mind, I thought it was too morbid and it felt as if I was violating her. As the time drew closer to when she would be changed and I had no other idea, I approached Alice with it.

She had several visions, but they were all inconclusive. That was when Jasper had the idea of using his gift to help put her into a deep slumber. After we faked our deaths, Jasper and I spent the nights trying out his gift on strangers. We found that he could keep people asleep quite well.

It was after we had returned one of those nights that Alice said she had a vision of Bella's transformation. It was the sharpest and clearest one she had ever had. We planned everything out that night. The next day we told Bella that we were going to visit our cousins in Denali before heading to our new house. I also told her that I had her change planned out. She accepted it, and never asked any questions.

Through all of our testing of Jasper's gift, we decided knew he had a decent range, so it would be easy for him to help her sleep while she was in the car. This way he didn't need to be close to her or the fresh blood. We had been circling the town we were moving to for over an hour, wanting to make sure it was nice and dark before I bit her. After the last rest stop, Esme took off with Rose and Emmett to prepare a room for us.

They were waiting for us with the door open as we ran closer. I could hear their anxious thoughts as they listened to Bella's shrieks. Rose buried her head in Emmett's chest while Esme looked as if she wanted to take Bella from me and rock her pain away.

_Take her to the room off the kitchen, it's not finished._

I followed her directions and found a bed waiting. There was nothing covering it, which made sense. Most people thrashed during their change, making covers or blankets useless. As soon as I laid her down, Esme helped me to unravel her from the blanket. Carlisle knelt down by her and checked her over.

"Things look to be progressing. All we can do now is wait."

I nodded mutely as I watched Bella toss and turn while moaning. Now came the hard part and I had no clue how I would survive it. I had no idea how long I just stood there, watching Bella suffer, feeling utterly hopeless and helpless.

Esme's hand on my shoulder broke my focus and I snapped my head to look at her. She searched my eyes; I'm not sure what she was looking for as her mind was quiet. Her hand brushed back some wayward strands of my hair.

"She's going to be fine, you'll see." We both turned to look at Bella who laid grimacing and writhing in agony. I turned back to look at Esme not sure if I could tell her how I felt. But there was nothing, I was nothing. Everything I was in Bella.

"Maybe you want to make her comfortable, clean her up." She held out her hands which had a wash cloth, clean cotton jammies and Bella's brush.

I nodded with a jerky motion of my head.

"Do you want be alone?"

"Yes," I managed to croak out.

She shooed everyone else out, ordering them to start unpacking. They scampered off, each giving me encouragement and support in their thoughts.

_I left a basin of hot water in the room so you could clean her up._

I closed my eyes at how loving and thoughtful my mother was.

I moved the supplies closer to the bed where Bella was moaning and thrashing. My heart constricted at the sight of her in pain. I stroked her check with a lone finger, wishing I could ease her pain in some way. After staring at her for a few moments more I focused back on the task at hand.

Slowly I removed her shirt and jeans. They had blood on them and they would need to be washed. I took the washcloth, dipped into the water and slowly bathed her arms, washing away the traces of her blood. I gazed at the marks on her wrists, a feeling of possessiveness and need curled in my gut.

Somehow I managed to tear my eyes away and washed her belly, her chest, and then her neck. My eyes zeroed in on the mark on her neck, my fingers traced the slightly raised marks. _Mine, _was all I could think. I finished cleaning her up, but every once in a while, my eyes strayed to my mark on her.

I tried to brush her hair and realized that blood had gotten on the ends. So I dipped the ends into the water, scrubbed it dry with a towel and then redressed her in the jammies Esme had left. I gently brushed her hair the best that I could with Bella moving and twitching.

When I was done, the feeling of helplessness started to creep back in. This was my wife, my mate for fucks sake, I should have known what to do, how to make it better. But I knew that nothing would help her. Like us all, the venom needed to work its way through her body.

I tried not to remember my own transformation, the fire, the feeling of acid churning in my veins. Instead I tried to focus on after her transformation was complete. Needing to be close to her, I laid on the bed next to her and gathered her in my arms. I curled my icy body next to hers, hoping that maybe she could feel me, that my skin could ease her suffering.

To combat her screams, I started to talk to her. I told her about the day I first saw her and what I thought. I talked about when we realized that she might be my mate and how confused and scared I was. I replayed stories of her growing that she told me and when I got tired of telling stories I hummed to her.

Carlisle checked on her hours later, telling me that things were progressing normally. We were fourteen hours into transformation about another fifty eight to go. It seemed that when I was talking or singing to Bella she didn't thrash around so much so I kept at it. I told her stories of some of the crazier bets that Jazz, Em and I had done over the years. I talked about the car races we loved to do and how I couldn't want for her to join us.

Alice and Jasper came in after the first twenty-four hours had passed. Alice scowled at our choice of clothing for her. Her mind was running rampant with all the clothes she could dress Bella in when she woke. She cuddled up next to Bella on the other side and took over talking to her.

_She's doing well, Edward. I can feel her trying to deal with the pain. It's only when it's too much does she scream or move. I think she can hear you; she calms down when you talk._

"Thanks, Jazz." I threw him a grateful look. Turning to look at Alice, "Can you see how long it will be?"

She closed her eyes as she flipped toward the future and saw that we had about forty hours to go. I wasn't sure if I could hold on that long. Instead of voicing my fear, I nuzzled into her neck, kissing my mark softly. All I could think was that I had to hold on for her- just hold on and then eternity could start.

When Carlisle came back to check on her, he smiled at the sight of us all curled up.

"She's doing well. Jasper told me she calms when you talk to her." I nodded my head. He had this thoughtful look in his eye and wondered if it had to do with our mating connection. "You can see the changes already; she's going to be remarkable."

I pulled back to really look at Bella and he was right. You could see the subtle changes. Gone were her numerous scars, all repaired by the venom. Her muscles were leaner and suppler. Her skin was starting to get a slight sheen. Her hair was thicker, shiny. I knew that her eyes would be muddied, the brown giving way to a dull red.

"She's beautiful," I stated simply.

"That she is, Edward." I could hear the pride in his voice. He was so looking forward to her being a full member of this family.

"How did you deal?" The question had been burning in the back of mind for several hours.

"It was one of the most difficult things I had to do. I felt guilty, helpless, worried, but most of all, I was sorry that I had caused her such pain."

I nodded my head; I was very familiar with those emotions.

"But, in the end, it was worth it. We never have to be apart. These three days are but a drop in the bucket to the lifetimes you will share together."

With that he squeezed my shoulder and left just as quietly as he came.

The remaining hours passed in spurts. When she was just moaning and writhing, it was easier to take. It was when she would scream and thrash that my heart felt as if it was being ripped to shreds. But I steeled my resolve and I held her even tighter, doing whatever I could to keep her from harm.

We were closing in on when Alice said she saw her waking. Carlisle filed into the room to support me when she woke. Jasper took up position just outside the room while the rest of the family was outside. Although we were far from any towns, we didn't want to take any unnecessary risks. Jasper gave out last minute suggestions to help us deal with a newborn.

"Keep calm, make your posture non-threatening, and speak softly. Her senses will be on overload and loud and sudden noises will be startling. Got that Em?" We all chuckled when Em let out a boisterous laugh.

Suddenly, we all stopped and stood still. Bella's heart which had been steadily thumping away began the telltale motion of speeding up. The last place the venom changes is the heart. As it does, the heart begins to beat wildly and at an unnatural pace. In silence we listened as the cadence of her heart picked up speed, louder and faster till it hit the familiar thrumming noise. Then it stopped and spluttered a few times. It beat once, then twice. Then, nothing at all.

I held my breath and watched her face, waiting for her to open her eyes. Thirty seconds passed and still no movement. I was going to turn and ask Carlisle what was going on when Alice's voice boomed in my head.

_She will wake in forty-five seconds. Patience._

I counted. By thirty I saw her eyelashes flutter, at forty she blinked once, then twice. At forty five she opened them wide and sat straight up. She looked around fast, her head whipping to and fro. She paused on Carlisle, a puzzled look on her face. Her nose lifted in the air and she sniffed. Then she whipped her head in my direction.

"Bella," I said gently. I tried to penetrate her mind, but even changed, her mind was silent to me. I wasn't sure if I was happy or disappointed.

She moved with a grace that I wasn't used to seeing on Bella, but was all too familiar for a vampire. She was standing up, looking all around her. I knew what she was seeing, colors were brighter, sharper, and smells were enhanced. I was sure she could hear the squirrels in the trees and smell the richness of the earth outside. I was sure that she could smell us all, each with our own unique scent.

_She's doing well, Edward. She is a bit confused, but she is trying to process it all. Her emotions are all over the place. Give her a few minutes._

I was grateful for Jasper's ability, because at that moment I was freaking the fuck out.

_Talk to her, Edward. She has to be a bit disoriented. She is in an unfamiliar place._

Carlisle's sage advice snapped me out of my internal freak out.

"Bella, you are in our new home in Canada. I changed you in the car. You are safe. Everything is going to be alright. I am here to help you."

She looked at me again, when I noticed the flash of recognition, I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Edward!" she cried. In a flash she leaped over the bed and into my arms, knocking us over in the process. She peppered my face with small kisses all the while squeezing the stuffing out of me. Her newborn strength was almost painful.

But it was when she grabbed my hair to force our lips together I couldn't help but yell out.

"Ow, shit Bella. Newborn strength, remember?"

"Ohh, fuck. So sorry, baby." She zipped off of me.

Nearby Carlisle chuckled. Bella whipped her head in his direction.

"Carlisle? Damn your pretty." She slammed her hands over her mouth and for a second I waited for the tell tale blush to appear, but it didn't.

"You look as beautiful as ever, my dear. How are you feeling?" I smiled wryly at the doctor tone he used.

Bella smiled at his compliment, before she gave him a thoughtful look.

"I'm confused, distracted. I feel like there are a million things zipping my head. Everything is just so…so much _more_. I'm feeling so overwhelmed." She gave a sad little pout and I couldn't help but smile.

Moving slowly so she wouldn't startle, I sidled up next to her and wrapped my arms around her. I nuzzled her check, becoming familiar with her new improved scent; freesia, lavender and a touch of vanilla.

Bella snuggled back and started to emit a low purr. It was sexy as fuck.

Carlisle smiled at us all snuggled up. "Are you feeling thirsty at all?"

"Is that what this scratchy, burning feeling is?"

We both nodded.

"Then yes, I am feeling thirsty. Who's going to take me hunting?" She threw a sly glance my way.

"Me along with Alice and Jasper, is that okay?" I didn't want to overwhelm her, but I knew I would feel better if Jasper went with us, as added insurance.

"Oh my gosh, I forgot all about the others! Where are they?"

"Outside, waiting to see you. They didn't want to overwhelm you. Newborns tend to feel threatened if approached by too many vampires," explained Carlisle. "Would you be alright with going to see them? They are anxiously waiting for you?"

He had no idea. Alice was practically jumping up and down. Emmett and Esme were both smiling from ear to ear. Rose was trying hard not to worry about Bella being prettier than her and Jasper was amazed by Bella's control.

Bella nodded enthusiastically. "Yes, please."

Like we used to do, we both reached for the others hand and twined them together. It felt so good to hold her hand and not have to worry. She felt so soft and supple beneath my hands. It was such a heady feeling, I felt as if I could fly.

Once we exited the room, Jasper was waiting off to the side, his eyes betraying the nervousness he felt. He was worried about her reaction to his scars. She had seen them through her dim human eyes. But her vampire eyes would see every single one of them; she could easy feel threatened by him.

But all it took was one look between them I knew it wouldn't be the case. She saw him and flew into his arms.

"Jasper!" She crushed him to her and he let out a tiny grunt in pain. His arms engulfed her and he rocked them from side to side. Bella had once confided in me that one of the things she was looking forward to being a vampire was the chance to be with Jazz. She knew he held back due to his struggles.

"Hey little darlin'. How ya doin'?"

"Great." I watched as her eyes took in each scar. She raised a tentative finger and traced some of the ones on his arms. "They add character to you." She then placed a small kiss on his cheek.

She then continued to walk outside looking for the rest of the family. Stunned, Jasper and I looked at each other. We both heard Carlisle laugh behind us.

"Told you she would make a remarkable vampire." He then strolled casually outside.

We followed behind him seconds later to see Bella talking with Esme and Alice. I watched in horror as Emmett crept up behind her and scooped her up into a fierce hug. In a flash she reached for his head and twisted her body and flung him over her body.

"What the fuck? Emmett? What in the hell were you doing?" shouted Bella.

A bewildered Emmett looked up at Bella from the ground with the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen.

"Ohh Bellie, we are going to have so much fun!"

With that we all laughed and Bella looked around trying to figure us all out. When Jasper explained what had happened, she got the silliest look on her face.

"I…did…that…to Emmett? Me?" We all nodded and laughed. We laughed even harder when she jumped up and down and squealed. "I'm fuck awesome!"

I flashed to her side and squeezed her tightly to me, "That you are love. Ready to go hunting?"

She nodded with an excited gleam in her eyes. With quick goodbyes to the rest of the family, we took off with Jasper and Alice in tow. We watched as Bella took off running, her delightful laugh at her power and speed entranced us all. She skipped and swung from trees, she was like a kid in a candy store.

"Um, Bella, do you even know where we are going?" Alice asked her playfully.

Bella stopped on a dime, "Um, nope. But I really don't care."

"Well sugar, we do," drawled Jasper. "We need to take precautions. Even though we are in a remote area we are going to do our best to keep you out of trouble."

That sobered her up; she knew we were talking about keeping her away from humans. Reaching for her hand, I pulled her close. Her ruby red eyes searched mine. I needed to keep her grounded, to let her know we would never let her hurt anyone.

"Hey, we can still run, just, let Alice and Jasper lead, okay?" She nodded and I kissed her nose.

With that Alice and Jazz took off and we ran after then. They hopped off rock faces and did flips off tree branches. Alice swung like a monkey from the trees and I zigged and zagged around everyone else. Bella's bell like laughter rang through the trees as she tested out her newfound abilities.

"Where are we hunting?" asked Bella as she perched on my back.

"In the Nahanni Reserve," replied Alice with a smirk.

"What are we going to find here? You know, I never asked you guys what are your favorite animals to hunt."

We all laughed. "We should find a bit of everything here. I'm partial to elk, moose and if Emmett's not around, a bear will do just nicely," replied Jasper. Bella's eyes got huge as she heard Jasper speak.

"I like deer, wolves and elk," trilled Alice. "What do you want to try for your first, Bella?" she asked with a smirk.

Bella looked between the three of us and just shrugged. "I have no fucking clue, but can we get there soon, I'm hungry." The whine in her voice was too cute and I just had to laugh.

About ten minutes later we had all smelled a small herd of deer. We stopped and I positioned myself behind Bella.

"You can do this Bella. Your natural instincts will takeover, you have nothing to worry about." She nodded and leaned back into me. "Close your eyes, reach out with your senses. What do you sense?"

I watched as she sniffed the air and her head cocked from side to side, even her tongue flicked out to taste the air.

"I hear the hearts, they are eating, and there are five of them?" She ended it in a question.

"Good girl. Now, how far away are they?"

"Less than a mile," was her quick and highly accurate response.

I kissed her cheek, telling her that she was correct. "Jasper and Alice are going to circle wide and come from the other side. Do you want to watch them or do you want to just go?"

"Go," came her breathy reply. I could feel her muscles vibrating beneath me. She could smell the blood and it was calling her instincts into play.

_Let her go, Edward. She'll be fine. Just trail behind her._

Alice's voice was calm, helping me to remain just as calm.

"When you catch them, snap the neck, then drink." I instructed her. Alice and Jasper had already left and I let Bella loose.

Like a cannon she sped off and I hung back in case she needed me. I didn't need to hunt so I would let Bella take her fill. I watched as she zipped through the trees, her entire being focused on the blood she craved. She looked lethal and so fucking sexy.

I realized the second she spotted the animals, her entire body automatic shifted into a low hunting crouch, her movements were lithe and stealthy. I could hear her low growl and it made me hard. Like a bullet she took off after the largest male in the group. Too late the animals realized the danger and they scattered. Three of them headed right toward my siblings and they would be easy pickings.

Bella was just a few steps away from the male when she launched herself onto the animals back, her arms automatically going around the neck. Simultaneously she crushed the neck while her mouth honed onto the main artery in the neck. Watching as her throat moved with each pull of blood made me realized how much I wanted her. The way her eyes closed in pleasure at the taste of blood made me bite back a groan. She was downright sex personified.

When she had drained all she could, she angrily threw the carcass away from her. Her nose sniffed the air, in search of more. When she caught the scent, she was off again. I held back, but kept her in my line of sight. She drained two more before she looked around for me.

"Edward?"

I knew she could smell me, but had no clue I was up higher than her. I dropped down in front of her. She looked glorious. Her hair was wild and had a few leaves stuck to it. Her shirt was torn, giving me a spectacular view of her stomach. She had a smear of blood on her chin and I was drawn to it.

Silently I pulled her to me and licked her chin in one slow lick. We both groaned. Her hands went to my hair and tugged me down to her mouth. One touch of her lips on mine and we were both gone. The spark before us was magnified; it crackled in the air around us. My skin felt alive and vibrant. We both opened our mouths, our tongues dancing between her mouth and mine.

Lips nibbled and sucked, teeth clashed. Her hands pulled me closely, molding her body to mine. I could feel every curve. My arms crushed her chest to mine. Gone was the need for care and caution. This was raw, wild and fierce. I fisted my hand in her hair to keep her lips to mine; my other hand palmed her ass and jerked her against me.

A low growl erupted from Bella, it was so fucking hot to hear, and I swear my cock grew even harder. She trailed her lips down to my jaw where she nipped and suckled, to my ear where she bit me causing me to growl. Rather abruptly Bella pushed me away, her chest heaving and my eyes were glued to her chest. Her transformation made her tits firm and perky, all I could think about was sucking on them.

When my eyes flicked up to look at Bella, I was greeted with such a feral gaze that I had only one thought.

_Bring it on, little girl._

As if she could hear me, she launched herself at which caused me to stumble and fall onto the ground. Bella had my shoulders pinned with her hands and she was sitting on my legs. She crushed her lips to mine while her hands ripped my clothes off. I couldn't help the moan that escaped. With one flick on my hand, her shirt and bra were in tattlers and her tits were swinging free. Without warning I grabbed both of her nipples and pulled and twisted.

"Oh fuck," screamed out Bella. We rolled and ripped off the rest of our clothes. I felt her teeth as she bit my jaw, my ear, and her hands plucked and pinched my nipples. I licked, sucked and nipped at her breasts, Bella arched into my hands, silently begging for more.

We rolled back and forth on the ground, neither one of willing to give up control, wanting to assert our will on the other. My hands stroked and rubbed every inch of her skin. I could smell her arousal; it hung heavy and thick in the air. Bella flipped me once again and before I could buck her off her warm mouth circled my cock in one smooth movement. My hips bucked and I groaned at the feeling.

Bella then started to suck me off in earnest. Her tongue flicked at vampire speed, while her mouth created the most delicious friction. I buried my hands in her hair and my hips pumped myself down her throat.

"So good, fuck..harder, Bella!" She reached down and rolled my balls in hands, then tugged on them hard.

"Yes," I hissed. She added her hands and pumped my cock while she sucked me harder and faster. The telltale tightening in my gut told me I wouldn't last long. But, fuck, I was a teen vamp, I need no recovery time. We worked in tandem, me holding her head while my hips flexed and Bella licking and sucking for all she was worth.

When I could no longer back the spiraling, twisting feeling in my gut, I screamed out.

"Fuck, I'm cumming!" I held her head like a vice and slammed my cock down her throat as far as I could. My dick exploded down her throat in large streams of jizz. My hips pumped as the last few spurts pulsed out of me.

When I was done, I felt Bella swallow around my cock and then watched as licked my shaft clean. When she was done she pulled off me with a loud pop and a smirk. She looked as pleased as a peacock. I smirked right back and then I licked my lips.

In a flash I had her in my arms and a second later I pushed her back up against a tree. Reflexively she wound her legs around my hips. Her hands went to my shoulders while mine went to her hips. Another second later and I had my cock buried to the hilt into her dripping pussy. We both groaned at the feeling. It was beyond sublime.

"Hang on, baby girl. I'm gonna fuck you vampire style."

With that I starting pumping into so fucking fast I was a blur. She used her hands for leverage and met each of my thrusts. Skin slapped against skin. I went deeper and harder than I had ever fucked her before. My hands dug into the skin of her hips as I made sure to smash her clit against my pubic bone.

Bella's head lolled back and her eyes rolled back. Her pants and groans echoed in the forest. Her hands dug into my shoulders as she moved with such passion and fluidity, it was stunning. The sight of my cock sliding in and out of her drenched pussy only made me want her that much more, that much harder.

"So good…more Edward…more," she begged. Her head thrashed from side to side.

I could feel her pussy as it started to flutter, signaling her pending orgasm. I shifted my stance and adjusted her hips and plunged even deeper into her. Each stroke hitting that sweet spot deep inside her pussy.

"Oh…ungh…so close…" she chanted.

I knew the second her orgasm started. Her legs squeezed me tighter, her bouncing on my cock became erratic and her pussy convulsed so hard, it almost made thrusting into impossible. She screamed as my cock hitting her g-spot pushed her over. The feeling of her being wrapped so tightly around me triggered my own release. I pushed in one final time and emptied myself into as we both came down from our orgasm.

I sank us to the ground, while Bella nuzzled into my neck.

"Holy fuck! You've been holding out on me." She giggled and tried to bury herself even closer.

I laughed with her, "I had to wait till you were less breakable, love."

Just then, I heard my phone vibrate and I had to find it among the scrapes that were my jeans. When I finally located it, I saw that I had a text from Alice.

**Backpack of clothes waiting for you about a mile in from where we entered the reserve.-A**

I typed back a quick response.

**Thanks**

I would like to say that we headed straight for the clothes, but the sight of Bella running bare ass naked was too hard to resist. Three more blow jobs, one pussy licking, three rounds of fucking, a game of tag and four hours later; we made it to the backpack.

We couldn't stop laughing and touching each other as we got re-dressed. As we took off back to the house, our hands twined together and never had I felt as complete and as utterly happy as I did right then. It was _this_ moment that I had been looking, searching for my entire existence.

We ran in silence, there was no need to talk. We said it all with looks and touches. I promised to keep her safe when I kissed her forehead. She told me she trusted me when she kissed my palm. I reminded her that she was my entire world as I brushed hair back from her cheek. She echoed her love with a tender smile.

We could both hear the family talking, anxiously awaiting our return as we drew closer to the house.

"Where are we? I never paid attention to where we were moving to."

"We're about hundred miles from a small town called Watson Lake," I replied.

"Hmm, you're going to have to tell me what all went down. I keep trying to remember, but it's hard."

I smiled, "I will. Things will come back to you. I'll help. We all will."

With that we ascended up the stairs to the front door and walked into a flurry of activity. Furniture was being arranged, pictures and painting hung. Esme was busy unloading the kitchen, while Rose and Alice were unpacking suitcases. All of it stopped as we walked in the door.

"It's about time you guys resurfaced. Is the forest still standing?" Emmett chuckled to himself and I could see Jazz was trying not to laugh out loud.

"Of course it is, Emmett. We'll finish it off tomorrow." With that retort, Bella glided into the kitchen and began helping Esme unpack.

"Ohh, burned again by Bella, Em. You're losing your touch, dude," chortled Jasper who turned back to sorting through the DVD collection.

Emmett just stared at the direction Bella went with open mouth astonishment. I had a feeling there was never going to be a dull moment ever again.

Later that night, when we had finished all the unpacking, Carlisle called us all down to the main room. Alice was practically vibrating with excitement as she went to sit on Jasper's lap. Carlisle and Esme were already standing in front of the roaring fire, waiting expectantly for us all to come and settle in.

I pulled Bella down on the sofa facing my parents while Rose and Em snuggled together on one of the leather wingback chairs. They both had huge smiles on their faces. Bella looked around the room, wondering what was going on. She could sense that we all knew what was going to happen.

"Bella," began Carlisle, "from the moment that you came into Edward's life, I have considered you part of this family. That feeling has only grown with each new milestone you and Edward have reached together. You have mated, married and you have transformed into one of us. I know that I speak for all us when we say that we welcome you to this family as a daughter and as a sister."

Bella listened to Carlisle with wide eyed wonder, her eyes swimming with venom and her body shaking with soft sobs. I held her tighter to me, stroking her hair.

"So, to officially welcome you to the family, it is my greatest pleasure to present you with this."

He held out a small velvet black box. With shaking hands Bella took it from him. She looked around the room, seeing the smiles and small nods of encouragement. Lastly her gaze fell upon me.

"Open it, love."

Taking a deep breath, Bella slowly opened the box. When it was all the way opened, she let out a small gasp in surprise. Nestled inside the box on a bed of black satin was Bella's very own Cullen Crest. Her hand flew to her mouth in shock.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," said Esme softly. She stepped forward and took out the thin platinum necklace that held the crest on a pendant. She swept Bella's hair to the side and clasped the chain around her neck.

"Welcome to the family, Bella," I said softly as I kissed her cheek.

**A/N: Ok.. many ofyou got it right.. I am soo proud of you. This is going to be a long note.. so please bear with me. I was absolutely blown away by the response of the last chapter. People who had never reviewed did and that meant SO MUCh to me! THANK YOU! But even more than that was that everyone was so moved and touched by what happened... I was worried that it was too sad or that you would feel I was being too harsh... but *shakes head* you guys surprised me with your acceptance of the path Bella and Edward took. Fluv you all...**

**Ok.. so here is an announcement: There are 3 chapters left of TMC. The next will be an Epilogue and then 2 out takes that were requested by a few dear readers of mine. I have loved being on this journey with you all... but the time to end is near.**

**Tell me what you thought of this chapter..please... I love hearing from you all! Go and review!**


	41. Epilogue

**A/N: SURPRISE! Early posting! Are you excited? *sigh* I know I have said it before..but you guys rock my world. The support and love I get from you just blows me away.. seriously! *huggles* to you all!**

**To CullensTwiMistress who made this shine and been there every step of the way! Love you girl!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Twilight related- but I did put it the list I sent to Santa. ENJOY!**

Epilogue

50 Years Later

EPOV

It was peaceful sitting on the rock face watching the sun come up. The sky was brilliant with flaming streaks of red and orange. My stomach was so full that I felt slightly sloshy. I breathed in the cool, clean crisp air and let out a contented sigh. Life was good. _My_ life was good, well better than that, it was perfect.

I had a few hours before my brothers were due to start bothering me and I spent it in quiet contemplation. So much had changed, our entire family's existence had changed, for the better I might add and it was all because of Bella. She shook up how we lived, how we existed in this world. She gave us light, laughter, joy and hope.

She had the typical newborn year, full of broken furniture, heightened emotions and streaks of viciousness. But despite all that, she could claim she had never tasted human blood. True to my word, I kept her from harming anyone. That's not to say that there were never any close calls, there were. But someone always got to her in the nick of time. By the time she was eighteen months old, she was fine going out in public, with supervision. A little over two years after her transformation and she could go out by herself.

But it wasn't how she held herself as a newborn that amazed us, it was the way she challenged how we lived. She got us all to think about doing more than just the high school/college circuit endlessly. Instead she encouraged and challenged us to find jobs, indulge in passions, hobbies. She just pushed us to do more.

She also pushed us to live outside our collective group, to grow as individuals and as mated vampires. The first to rise to her challenge was Rose and Em. About three years after her transformation, they went their separate way and moved to Montana. There, Rose opened her first auto shop with Em. While she did the work, Emmett ran the business end of it. To allow them to stay longer, they took to altering their appearance through make-up and wigs. They lived apart from us for six years that first time.

What's even better was the change that occurred in their relationship. Gone was the angry, bitter Rose and it was replaced with one who smiled more and opened up to everyone. She no longer held herself apart from the family. With Rose in a better place, Emmett was livelier than ever. The positive energy around him was mesmerizing, it drew you to him. Both of them grew extremely close to Bella. It wasn't unusual to see the three of them off in their own little world.

Under Bella's insistence, Alice actually designed her first clothing line. She marketed it to small boutiques and had fun playing up the reclusive designer angle. The favorite reasoning that was rumored for behavior was an allergy to the sun. One year, Fashion Week rearranged all of their activities to be at night to accommodate Alice's delicate condition. Words couldn't describe what it felt like watching Alice's creations strut down the walk way. I never felt more proud of her.

When Bella started to write, she drew Jasper in with her. First it was just to hear his stories, some of which Bella borrowed elements for her own stories. The more Jasper helped the more appeal it had for him, till Bella finally convinced him to write his own stories. Now, if I were to give you his pen names, you would find several history textbooks, a six book non-fiction series based off his life and his newest obsession, crime novels. There were days when Jasper and Bella would hole themselves in their shared office and just write. You would hear lively discussions and their frantic typing.

Over the years, Jasper had become a close confidant to Bella. Something more than a sibling and less than a father figure. It's hard to quantify, it just- is. It was through this unique relationship that Jasper was finally felt as if he got a hold on his struggles. Bella postulated that maybe his struggles were due to feeling the thirst of everyone in the family times seven. Through lots of hard work, Jasper was able to manage and disperse those feelings in a way that made it easier for him to be around humans.

When Bella was finally to a point where she could go to college, she talked me into getting a degree in music. A senior project had me composing an entire symphony that was played by the Boston Philharmonic and was eventually recorded as an album. Bella's pride in me was absolute. Later, I took the plunge and followed Carlisle into medicine. When we lived in Milwaukee, I actually worked under Carlisle in the emergency room as part of my internship and eventual residency. I relished being able to work with my father.

Throughout the years, Bella threw herself into learning whatever she could. She learned several languages and we spent a year in France to perfect her French. When she started attending colleges, she obtained degrees in English, Art History, Women's Studies and Philosophy. She was on the best seller list for many of the books she wrote and nowadays she's working on a series of children's books.

But more than what she has learned and accomplished, there is what Bella brought to the family in general. She challenged our normal status quo of always sticking together. Now it's not unusual for one or more couples to being living away from the family. She made us realize we grew dependent on trying to fade away that we no longer experienced the world. She reminded us that is was ok to try and push the boundaries, to live and grow.

So it came as no surprise when Bella talked us all into giving Carlisle and Esme a well deserved break from us all. For five years, we all left and allowed our parents to have some time and space to themselves. They loved it! They traveled for an entire year and then spent the remaining years indulging in hobbies and each other. Yet, if you ask Esme, she'll tell you that she'd rather have us around then apart.

I heard my brother's thoughts before I heard their footsteps. Emmett was describing his latest encounter with an angry bear.

"I swear it was actually drooling it was so pissed at me," exclaimed Emmett.

I heard Jasper's laugh and I chuckled at his internal eye roll.

"You know you guys are really loud. You're disturbing my peace and quiet."

"Are you trying to get all zen for later today?" joked Emmett.

"Nope, just enjoying some peace and quiet. I'm actually looking forward today." I smirked at them both.

"I bet Bella is cursing the day she made this deal with Alice," quipped Jasper.

We all laughed because we knew it was true. Today was fifty years to the day that Alice and Bella made the deal about planning her wedding. Bella had told me that she secretly hoped that Alice would decide that there was no need to go forward with the wedding. She had to know there was no way in hell Alice would forget or cancel an event this big.

So later on tonight, Bella and I would be getting married in an elegant twilight ceremony. When it became apparent that Alice wasn't going to let it go, Bella washed her hands of the whole thing and refused to be part of the planning. She wouldn't even agree to see the dress beforehand. But when Bella found out that the guest list was nearing three hundred people, she out her foot down.

There was screaming, begging, pleading and a fair amount of threatening going on as Bella argued for a smaller guest list. When Bella challenged Alice that she didn't even know three hundred people intimately enough to invite them to a wedding, Alice paired it down. Reluctantly.

"When are the Denali's coming?" asked Emmett.

"They should be there when we return. Bella's not looking forward to it." They both laughed at my statement.

It wasn't that she had anything against most of the Denali's, it was just Tanya in general she had a hard time being around. It could have something to do with the first time they meet. It was a few years after her change. Bella was just getting comfortable being around people. It was her first time flying since her change and she was highly anxious.

She made it through the flight just fine, but when she got to the Denali's she was a bit wild eyed from trying to stay calm and not eating the entire plane of people. Alice took her hunting as soon as we arrived. Tanya was all over me the second I got in the house and I spent the first few hours fending her off.

Since I couldn't hear Bella's thoughts, I didn't notice that she was within hearing distance and she heard Tanya hit on me and make disparaging remarks about Bella. This pissed off Bella who reacted like a mated vampire and ended up ripping off one of Tanya's arms. Of course it didn't end there, no Bella had to take it a step further and taunted Tanya by threatening to burn her arm. If it wasn't for Carlisle and Eleazar, I was certain mayhem would had ensued. Needless to say, since that first meet and greet, Bella and Tanya barely tolerate being in the same room.

The good thing from that little trip, we discovered Bella's power. Once Tanya's arm was back on and she left with Irina for a few days of hunting, we all sat down and I watched as Eleazar stared at Bella, his thoughts were all over the place. When I questioned him on it, he mentioned that he was trying to determine what power Bella had.

This of course was met with excitement and we spent hours discussing it. Eventually we came to the conclusion that she was a shield. Over the years she had learned how to control and manipulate her shield. She's able to project it to encompass others, as well as lift it off her so I can hear her thoughts. The first time she did that I was so shocked I was speechless.

"Still don't know what possessed Alice to send them an invite. But even more than that, Tanya accepted!" Jasper's voice was full of disbelief.

We chuckled because this has been the sentiment in the house since we received their RSVP.

"Whatever the reason, we should head back. I am sure there are tons of things Alice wants our help with." That was met with eye rolls from both my brothers. I stood up and dusted off my clothes and we took off back to the house.

We were currently living in Berlin, New Hampshire. I was working at the local clinic as a family practitioner and Carlisle was teaching at the nearby college. Bella was a year from wrapping up a Master's degree in Journalism. She occasionally has an Op-Ed piece that runs in the local paper. This wedding was big news for this small town.

When we arrived home, it was a flurry of activity. Thousands of twinkle lights were being hung in the trees that flanked the house. A huge tent was being erected to house the ceremony and the reception. Table, chairs, linens and dishes were being unloaded. Alice was a blur with a clipboard checking off each item as it was completed.

When she spotted us, she immediately put us to work. Jasper was surrounded with miles of ribbon charged with making bows. Emmett was told to set up the chairs for the ceremony and I was pushed towards the DJ table and instructed to wire everything up. It wasn't very long till I heard Bella's voice in my head.

"Remind me why I agreed to this fifty years ago? I'm tempted to make a homemade pipe bomb and get rid of this crazy ass circus." Her low snicker made me smile and I laughed to let her know that I heard her.

Through her thoughts I watched as she was busy make food alongside Esme. We both put our foot down when it came to the reception. We are just having a short one, no sit down dinner. Of course we only got our way when Bella threatened to start a massive food fight. We all did Alice's bidding in silence and over the next few hours, the house and grounds were transformed into an elegant wonderland.

The tent that will house the ceremony was strung up with dozens of strings of fairy lights. But their brightness was toned down by the gauzy fabric that was draped over them. The sides of the tent were swathed in simple garlands of flowers and greenery. Up where the ceremony would be performed hung an archway that was similar to the once in Vegas. It was strung with flowers, lights and more gauzy fabric. It was simply breathtaking.

I noticed Alice off to the side watching me take in her masterpiece. Walking up to her, I gave her a small smile, "You really outdid yourself, Pixie. It's wonderful. Bella will love it."

She hugged me back before she shooed me off to get ready. I made it up to our room, where I showered and dressed in the formal tuxedo Alice had found. It was reminiscent of tuxes from the early 1900's just done with a more modern twist. The colors of the wedding were silver and blue, so I had a vest of deep blue with a design in swirling silver. There was no bow tie; instead I had a tie in the same blue and silver. Over this I wore a coat that was longer in the back then the front. Alice used a picture of my parents wedding for inspiration.

Since Jasper stood up with me in Vegas, I asked Emmett to be my best man. He barged into the room with a huge ass grin, "Ready to go, dude? Party time!"

Classical music played softly as people took their places. Emmett and I went up to where the pastor was waiting. Esme looked resplendent in a silver gray dress. She was smiling brilliantly.

_So happy for both of you today._

It was at this moment that I regretted that we went to Vegas. While everyone in the family understood that it was necessary, I realized we robbed several people of the opportunity to celebrate with us. I wasn't thinking so much of my family, but of Charlie. We kept track of him throughout the years. He ended up marrying Sue Clearwater about three years after we left. He died in his sleep when he was eighty-two. Bella made it to the funeral just in time.

My thoughts were quickly turned towards the back of the tent as the music changed to the soft strains of Pachelbel's Canon in D. I watched as Alice was escorted down the aisle by Jasper. Alice's dress was a shimmery deep blue with a silvery grey wrap.

Next was Rose who glided down in a shimmery silver dress with a dark blue wrap. Both girls carried just three white roses that were tied together with a satin blue ribbon. Once Rose was down and standing next to Alice, a hush rose over the crowd as they all stood and faced the back. I forced myself not to look through Carlisle's eyes as he escorted Bella down the aisle.

When they were half way down, I could see her face. Her hair swept up in an elegant twist, a few loose tendrils framed her face. The diamond tiara that was a gift from Esme and Carlisle was nestled into her hair and it held the lace of her veil. Seconds after her head became visible I was stunned by the sight of Bella in her dress. If my heart could beat it would be thundering in my chest at the sight before me.

Once again, Alice found a dress that modernized a classic Edwardian wedding dress. The entire satin bodice was fitted to the tops of her thighs and was covered in a delicate lace over lay. The three-quarter sleeves were nothing but lace as well. The skirt of the dress flared outward and the lace continued downward in alternating strips of satin and lace. The bottom of the dress was edged in lace. There was a short train and the lace veil continued just past the dress.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her. She was stunning, exquisite. Once again I realized just how incredibly lucky I was to have Bella in my life. She was everything I was looking for and more. She completed me in ways I never knew I was lacking. I spent the last fifty years showing her how much I loved and needed her and I would spend the rest of my time on this earth doing more of the same.

When Carlisle reached me, he gently placed Bella's hand in mind and gave my shoulder a small squeeze.

_I couldn't be more proud of the both of you that I am right now._

I nodded at him and turned my attention back to the gorgeous woman standing next to me. Somewhere I was aware that the minister was speaking, but none of it registered. Somewhere I was prompted to repeat the vows that were as old as time. My heart and soul listened as Bella said the same words. We slipped on the same bands we have worn since Vegas. When I was granted permission to kiss her, I chastely kissed her lips and then rested my forehead on hers.

"Eternally yours," she whispered.

"Eternally yours," I vowed.

THE END

**A/N: Well folks.. that's the end of the story.. BUT WAIT! I have 2 OUTTAKES that will be coming.. so I won't hit the complete button just yet!**

**A picture to Bella's dress will be on my FB page: W Vampgirl FanFic.. come check it out!**

**Ok... now.. go review..please? Its all I want for Christmas! Shoo... go review!**


	42. Outtake 1

**A/N: Well look here... another update from yours truly! Thank you for all the love and wonderful reviews for the Epilogue! It warmed my heart! It was a joy to hear from new and old reviewers! Here is the first outtake.. it may be a bit sad so I will issue a tissue alert just as a precaution!**

**This outtake is for those readers who wanted to see Charlie and the diary..you know who you are! This one is for you!**

**Love like always to CullensTwiMistress for her support and mad skills.. love ya babe!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or anything related to it- I just own a healthy obsession to it! ENJOY!**

TMC Outtake #1

One month after the funeral.

Charlie POV

The buzzing of the alarm roused me from the light sleep I was in. My hand slapped the off button while I took a deep breath and let it out.

_Today was another day. _

_Take it one hour at a time. _

These little platitudes were the only thing that made me getup in the morning. Like Marie my therapist taught me, I mentally ran through my to-do list. The alarm was another trick by Marie. I wasn't too happy with it. But she was right; it got me out of bed. It got me up and moving.

For days afterward all I did was sleep or huddle under the covers. It just didn't seem fair that I should still be breathing when my baby wasn't. It's a good thing I don't remember much of those days. They're all blended together in a blissful, ignorant haze. I preferred it that way.

Automatically my hand reached out to the bedside table for the leather clad journal that always resided there. My fingertips felt the cool, smooth leather and I continued to breathe in and out. Nice and steady. When I could feel the prickle of tears, I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing.

In for four counts.

Out for four counts.

Over and over I repeated this until I could feel myself gaining control over my emotions. Some days were easier than others. Today was an average day. I propped myself up on the pillows and finally allowed myself to gaze at what I was clutching.

My eyes traced the creases in the leather of the deep brown journal. One lone finger traced the initials that were in the middle: _IMS_.

My heart let out the all too familiar ache of pain and I breathed through that. For the billionth time I wondered if this constant ache would ever fade away. I hated it. It was a reminder of what I lost, of what I no longer had. It was a reminder of my lowest and weakest point in my life.

With unseeing eyes and shaking hands I untied the thong of leather and flipped to the bookmarked page. I closed my eyes once more, this time to try and find a small sliver of strength. Reading her words was always hard. They filled me with such intense emotions that I felt overwhelmed.

It was through Marie's instance that I start to read it. The first week or so after Alice gave it to me; I hid it in a drawer. I didn't want to see what she wrote; I was too angry, sad, and fearful. But I let it slip that I had it in my first session. She encouraged me to read it, but I was unsure. So I brought it the next time and read it with her. I never cried so hard in my life. As I continued to meet with Marie, we would read more.

Now, I have a routine where I read one entry when I wake and one just before I sleep. If I feel comfortable, Marie has encouraged me to read more during the day. I have been anxious the last few entries as we are getting closer to where Edward will make an appearance. I'm not sure how I will deal with that.

When I felt as calm as I would ever be, I slowly gazed down at the page before me. A quick scan and I did not detect Edward's name. I let out the breath I was holding and began to read.

_It's amazing how one decision in your life can alter everything. Suddenly, the world around is different. Colors are more vibrant, sounds louder; your whole body is vibrating with energy. That was how I felt today. I'm not sure why. But, for the first time, I feel like coming to Forks was good. It's not to say it hasn't been good since now. But I always felt as if I was waiting for something. I know it had nothing to do with the first day of senior year being tomorrow. It was more a feeling that I was going to start a wonderful adventure._

I knew what would happen the very next day, she would meet Edward Cullen. Once again dual emotions of sadness and anger reared its ugly head and I struggled not to give into them. I was glad that I would be meeting with Marie later today. I needed get a grip on how much I hated Edward sometimes.

With a huge sigh, I heaved myself out of bed and showered. Once done I went down stairs, made coffee, toast and a few fried eggs. When nothing burned, I realized that maybe today wouldn't be too bad. I did the dishes and then wrote out my short list of things to do today. I knew Sue would be by later this evening to help me make up some quick and easy dinners.

I cleaned the garage and straightened up some of the boxes Renee had torn through in her quest to find something of Bella's. I didn't want to deal with it before, but I had a list. It only took a few hours so I started the laundry. This was one of the first things that Sue taught me how to do. I haven't turned anything pink or shrunk a shirt so bad it doesn't fit. I think that is a good sign

As the first load was washing, I stripped my bed and remade it. I gathered all the towels and hung fresh ones. I paused monetarily at Bella's room. The door has been shut ever since that day. I knew I wasn't strong enough to deal with it right now. I hoped one day I would be. I gave it a wistful look and trudged down the stairs.

As I was sorting through stuff in the laundry room, I heard a knock at the front door.

"Coming," I shouted.

I shuffled hurriedly to the door and when I opened it, I was surprised to see them standing before me.

"Dr. Cullen?" I was puzzled as to why he would be here. He shifted around. I could see the worry and the sadness in his eyes. It was then that I realized I forgot he lost a child too.

"Um, hello Charlie. Can I talk to you?"

"Oh, I am so sorry. Of course, come on in, sit down." I chuckled at my forgotten manners. Carlisle glided in the room and sat down on the sofa.

"Thanks, sorry that I dropped in unannounced."

He looked contrite, but I waved him off, "It's no big deal. Would you like some coffee?" he shook his head no. "How are you?" I finally ask.

A slow pained expression flitted across his face; it showed that he was hurting just as much as me.

"There are good days and bad ones. I'm sure you understand. How are you?"

I did. "Same here. Today is a good one so far." A small turned up the corners of his mouth.

"I don't have long; I have a meeting back at the hospital. I wanted to give you this before we leave." He handed me a small sealed envelope. "I'm not sure if you were aware, but Edward had a sizable inheritance from his birth parents. It has been lying in trust until he was eighteen. He took control of it last year."

We both sighed. Mine from having to hear about his son and I was sure his was from having to talk about his son.

"Anyways, I have been dealing with lawyers and such as I was made executor of his estate."

My eyes widened in surprise, that sounded like some serious business and that could only mean serious money. I held up the envelope he gave me.

"What's in here?"

He sighed and rubbed his nose. "Edward never got around to drawing up a new will. According to his lawyer, there was a meeting scheduled a few weeks after the accident. But, what he did do was update his life insurance policy. He even started one on Bella."

Once again I was shocked and still about confused as to what this had to do with me.

Carlisle waved a hand towards the envelope in my hand. "You were named beneficiary on Bella's, this is the payout of it. It's not the full amount of the policy as it hadn't been in effect for more than a year." He seemed almost apologetic about that.

With shaking hands I carefully opened up the envelope and pulled out the certified check. I blinked several times when I looked at the amount. I re-read the printed text to make sure that my eyes were not deceiving me. I even counted up the zeroes.

"Carlisle, I can't…it's just too much…" I was still shaking my head. I tried to hand the check to him, but held up his hands and shook his head at me.

"It's yours Charlie. I don't need it. I'll most likely end up with all of Edward's estate. That belongs to you."

I looked back at the check. It was unbelievable, $1.5 million dollars.

"Edward knew the importance of taking care of those he loved. It doesn't surprise me that he did this for Bella."

With that Carlisle stood up and placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "We'll be leaving at the end of the week. I'll come by before then, okay?"

I nodded mutely as he quietly let himself out. My eyes were glued to the check I held. Without thinking I dashed up to my room and grabbed the journal. I wasn't sure why I was doing it; it was just a compulsion I felt. I opened it to a random page and rushed to read it.

_I remember reading somewhere that women fall in love with men who remind them of their father. I always found that to be rather comical. It made me picture some pimply faced boy running around in a cop uniform, with a glued on mustache saying, "Bang, bang." I wasn't sure that was what they meant. But I can't help the visual. But now that I have Edward, I understand that I had it all wrong. It was more about the characteristics that your father holds. You seek out those same qualities in the boys or men you meet. On first glance, Edward and Charlie don't look anything alike. But it's who they are that is similar._

_They are loyal, trusting, honest and considerate. They both treat me as if I am special, something to cherish. I have no doubt that they both love me, unconditionally. Even more than that, it's how they make me feel. For the first time, I know that there are people who will take care of me; they will support me and stand by me. I feel respected, honored and loved. So I am happy that I found someone like Charlie. I know that I'll be taken care of and loved. What more could a girl ask for?_

In that instant, all anger I had for Edward melted away. How could I hate him for loving my daughter so much? He looked out for her, protected her and cherished her. What more could a parent ask for their child. I knew then that my anger was misplaced. I wanted to blame him when there was no blame to spread.

I lost my child to a horrific twist of fate. But, if I had to choose whether she died alone or with the man she loved, I would choose Edward, every single time.

**A/N: *sniff* Ok... it was a teeny tiny bit sad... What did ya think? One more outtake left.. it will be a surprise when it gets posted... but I am feeling festive! Please review! **


	43. Outtake 2

**A/N: So here we are... the last outtake.. *sniff* More will be said at the end.**

**To CullensTwiMistress who helped to wrangle all the crazy tenses... fluv you so hard girl! *mwah***

**This outtake is dedicated to Kimboacp who wanted this... as well as to all my FB ladies who helped talked me down from the ledge as I wrote this... **

**Ummmm go find the youtube video of Lady Marmalade and just put it on repeat... it will help with visuals! ENJOY!**

Outtake #2

Takes place after Edward and Bella's first Valentine's Day

EPOV

"YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!" screamed Rose while Emmett just stood there as still as a statue.

Behind me I could tell that Bella, Alice and Jasper were trying hard not to laugh, but they were losing the battle and fast. I couldn't blame them. I was trying hard not to smile as well, but the outraged look on Rose's face was enough to keep me from laughing.

"You heard the terms. You lost the bet fair and square. Hello, there is a hole in our shower in the cottage!" I reminded her.

"That was Emmett's fault. _He_ did that damage, not me." She was pointing fingers as she spoke just to make sure I knew who she was talking about.

I nodded my assent at her words, she was correct. Her smile turned smug.

_Good, then he can let go of this ridiculous idea of his._

"Um, Rose would you care to explain to me how the sofa ended up split in two?" I questioned with a slight arch in my brow.

She swiveled her head between me and Alice who had the biggest shit eating grin I had ever seen.

"It was an accident Alice, surely you saw that."

Alice snorted, "Um, Rose, I don't think what I saw was an accident. But I can tell everyone how it happened to see if they agree with you."

If Rose could blush I was fairly certain her face would be crimson. I tried to block out the mental images that Alice had of how Rose broke the couch. I saw rope and handcuffs before I successfully blocked all images. What I did see, was more than I wanted to see, ever.

When Rose saw she would get no support from us she whirled on Emmett.

"Don't you have _anything_ to say?" I could hear the anger in her voice. We all turned towards Emmett who was silent both verbally and mentally. It had to be a first for him.

"Emmett!" shrieked Rose. I think she even stomped her foot.

That must have penetrated the haze that he was in for he turned very slowly to look at me.

"When do we do this?" Then his face busted out the megawatt smile.

"Emmett? No! We can't do this!"

"You know the rules Rose, we lost the bet." Then he shrugged. This was the wrong thing to do as Rose slapped him then stomped off to their room and slammed the door so hard that the frame cracked.

We all looked at each other then started to laugh. Bella fell onto the couch and held her stomach. Alice and Jasper were wrapped up in each other as they giggled. The mental images they were thinking had me laughing so hard that I had to sit down.

"I can hear you," bellowed Rose which only served to make us laugh harder.

I could sense the growing anger in her and through my laughter; I managed to convey that we should get lost.

"We can go shopping for what we need," squealed Alice.

"This is one shopping trip I can't wait to go on," giggled Bella.

I scooped Bella up in my arms as I ran out the door with Jasper and Alice hot on my heels. We piled into the Volvo and took off for Seattle. That day was one I would never forget. I don't think I laughed or smiled so much in my long existence. Hanging out with Bella and my siblings was fun. Add to that what we were shopping for and well, it just added to it that much more.

Three hours later and we finally emerged from the mall with all the supplies we would need for the coming weekend. I had a feeling that Emmett and Rose wouldn't be making any bets with me for a very long time.

All week long we had to listen as Rose bitched and moaned that she was refusing to go along with everything. She withheld sex from Emmett, she threatened bodily harm to all our vehicles and I think she even sat and pouted for a few hours.

By Friday, Esme had had enough of Rose and her constant whining.

"You know Rose; I don't care if you don't follow through, just stopping acting like a child. You were adult enough to make the bet and now that you lost, you sound like you're not mature enough to hack it with the big kids." She even gave her a condescending pat on the head and left the room.

There was nothing Rose hated more than being called a baby and that she didn't have the balls to take whatever was dished her way. Her eyes turned all steely with Esme's words and she bristled under the patronizing pat on her head.

"Fine, whatever. "

That was the most acquiescence that we would get out of her. I nodded.

"See you here tomorrow night Rose."

With that I skipped out of the house whistling as I made my way to Bella's house.

The next evening the six of us were gathered in the living room. The bags from our shopping trip were lying by Alice's feet. Emmett and Rose were standing in front of the four of us who were sitting on the couch.

"Ok, here are the rules. Emmett you are to dress as a woman and participate in Amateur Night at the Pretty Kitty in Port Angeles. There you will do a pole dance and give a lap dance to Rose." I looked at both of them to see if I would hear any protests. I was met with a grinning Emmett and a sullen Rose.

"Rose, you will be dressed as a man and you will entice Emmett to give you a lap dance. You must both stay in character until the dance is over. You will both wear what is in the bags. Jasper and I will help Em get ready, Alice and Bella will work with Rose. Any questions?"

They both shook their head no. I picked up Emmett's bag while Alice picked up Rose's. I gestured for them to head upstairs. Rose stomped all the way to Alice's room.

_Fuckers, you are all fuckers._

I snickered at her internal outburst. Way to keep your cool there Rose.

Jasper and I followed Emmett into his room. He was already undressing. He was way too excited to dress up like a girl. Makes a person start to wonder.

"Dude," exclaimed Jazz, "wait till you get in the bathroom to get naked, I don't want to see your junk." He held up his hands in mock horror. Emmett has no qualms about walking around naked.

I held out the bag to Em, "Everything you need is in here. We can help you with the wig if you want."

I watched his eyes as he peeked into the bag. I knew exactly what he would find, sequins, feathers, spandex and pink- lots and lots of pink. I bit back a snicker.

_Holy shit! They went all out. Man up, Emmett! You can so do this._

I bit my lip to keep from laughing out loud at his internal pep talk. I looked over at Jasper who had his head in his hands. Emmett took the bag without speaking and went into the bathroom. We heard him removing the items from the bag. The shock and confusion grew with each item he pulled out.

"Where in the hell did you find this stuff?" I'm not sure if he asked in horror or shock.

"The big and husky lingerie store," chortled Jasper.

"They have those?"

"Only in Seattle, bro," replied Jasper.

We heard some banging around and what might have been a struggle.

"Um, how's it going in there Em? Everything going on ok?" I tried hard not to slip into his mind to see how he was doing. It was bad enough I'd have to see him in it all night, I didn't need a preview.

"Um, it's ok, I think."

That was the final straw, me and Jasper burst out laughing. After ten minutes had passed he walked out and Jasper and I could only stare. It kinda looked like a huge piece of bubble gum had exploded all over his body.

"Is it really that bad?" Emmett twirled around and all I could think was that it was just so much pink.

"Um…it's good. Let's get the wig and make-up on," said Jasper breaking the silence in the room.

We made room for him to sit in Alice's makeup chair. I grabbed the wig while Jasper grabbed the makeup Alice had bought.

I didn't want to think about the fact that Jasper was confident enough to put it on. I learned early on that there were levels to my brothers that I'd rather not know about. Jasper concentrated on the makeup while I brushed out the wig. Alice was adamant that he have a long one. She said it would hide his large neck.

Another ten minutes was spent on his face and I was slightly horrified that Jasper had done a good job. I shook my head.

"Do I even want to know, Jasper?"

He smiled, "Nope."

I turned away and helped Emmett into his dark brown wig. It fell past his large shoulders in soft waves. It reminded me of Bella, which I found weird. So I tried to think of something other than my girlfriend while looking at my brother in drag.

I handed him the black trench coat after he had put on his heels. For the first time I was grateful that Carlisle and Esme were gone on a hunting trip. I think they would have been wondering about our sanity. I made sure that the girls were not in the hallway and then motioned for my brothers to head out to my car. We didn't want Rose and Em to see each other until he started his dance.

We drove in silence to Port Angeles. Even if we talked, I wasn't sure what we would talk about. It felt weird and all I could think about was that Em was in drag. I looked at my phone to make sure it had a full charge. There was going to pictures and videos. Of that I was certain of.

We found a spot to park, paid our cover charge and found a group of table to wait for the ladies. Emmett went to put his name on the list for dancers and then got ushered in the back to get things setup.

About ten minutes later, I felt Bella slide up next to me. She placed a kiss on my neck and took the seat next to me. I kissed her cheek.

"How did things go?" She knew what I was asking about.

She rolled her eyes, "As good as could be expected." Alice came to the table followed by Rose although I had to look twice to make sure it was her.

She took a seat at the end of the table. She was wearing black men's trousers, a white button down shirt tucked into the pants. A blood red tie was around her neck. A black felt hat was on her head, hiding her hair.

"What's with the hat?" I asked.

Bella leaned in close, her heat washed over me. "She didn't want to wear the wig. This was the compromise."

I nodded. Leave it to Rose to be difficult about this. If she was going to act this was every time she lost a bet, she needed to stop making them in my mind. Before I could comment any further, music started playing and our attention was turned towards the stage. The opening lines of some Pussycat Dolls song started and I suppressed a cringe. How anyone thought this was music was beyond me.

The next wasn't much better as it was Beyonce's Single Ladies. Of course Alice was hopping in her seat, on edge just waiting for Emmett to start dancing. I stole a glance over at Rose who was internally bashing the dancers. But what surprised me was that she was kinda looking forward to seeing Em in drag. I chuckled and buried my face in Bella's neck.

After the last girl scampered off, the lights dimmed considerably. A single spotlight shined just to the left of the pole. "Please welcome to the Pretty Kitty, Emmaline!'

Our entire table whooped and hollered. Jasper and I whistled while Bella pounded on the table. Even Rose took notice and straightened up in her chair. Suddenly a large form took up the half the spot light and started snapping along with the opening lines of Lady Marmalade from Moulin Rouge.

My mouth opened in shock. Only Em would pick such a song. Our table exploded in a riot of noise, whistles and cat calls. As Mya started to sing, he crossed the stage, still with his back turned. You could see the black coat he was wearing and a hint of the pink go-go boots he had on.

He grabbed the pole and swung to face the audience. He shimmed down the pole, opened his legs in a wide vee and then pulled himself back up slowly while arching his back. He took his coat and ripped it open displaying the outrageous costume we picked out for him. The audience clapped widely and Emmett ate it up.

I looked over to Rose who was staring with an open mouth. I had to agree, Em was a sight to behold. He had on a tight hot pink sequined tank top, hot pink boy shorts that showed just a hint of his ass cheeks. He had on black stockings that ended in his pink boots. But that wasn't all, ohh no. he carried a bright pink feather boa and there was glitter everywhere. There wasn't an inch on him that wasn't covered in glitter.

Jasper had done his make-up to look like Christina Aguilera in the video. It was apparent that Emmett copied several of the moves from the video. He swung and spun, he showed more of his assets than I ever wanted to see. He flirted with the guys that lined the stage. Most of them knew he was a dude, but they were buying into his infectious smiles and flirty looks. It was apparent that he had watched the music video to prepare for this.

He slowly made his way to Rose who sat frozen in her chair. He strutted with a sway to his hips over to wear Rose sat. He shimmed his ass in front of her, then faced her and sorta straddled her. The boa wrapped around her neck as he shimmed and grinded to the music. His hands moved all over his body, even cupped his groin and thrusting it towards Rose.

What I found funny was that half of the audience believed that Rose was a dude so they thought Emmett was a drag queen which caused them to make more noise thinking it was encouraging Emmett. He just played it up. He dipped and swayed and danced his heart out.

At the end of the song he had one leg up on Rose's thigh, the boa around her neck and they were face to face. Suddenly, Rose grabbed Emmett's face and proceeded to kiss the shit out of him. This caused the entire place to erupt in screams and applause. They were oblivious to it all as they had their tongues so far down each other's throats. In the midst of their passionate embrace, Rose's hat got knocked off and down spilled her blond hair.

The room was silent before they began to clap again. Emmett came to his senses, straightened up, pulled Rose to stand by him and they both took a fucking bow. Alice and Bella were laughing and screaming so hard. Their smiles stretched across their faces. I started laughing when I saw that Emmett's lipstick had smeared across Rose's lips and her entire face was covered in glitter.

Several people came up to Emmett asking to take pictures with him which he obliged with his dimpled grin. Some even asked for Rose to join them, which she did rather graciously. The bar tried to give us free drinks which we politely refused. It took a few minutes, but we finally were able to get out of the club.

Emmett pulled away from us all and turned to look at us all.

"That's how you do it!" he blew us a kiss and sashayed to the car.

**A/N: *giggles* Ahhh Em in drag! Can't ya just picture it? I sooo can!**

**This story started because of a dream I had while writing Hidden Moon and was in a bit of a writers block. In one weekend I had the prologue and several chapters done... you all responded so positively to it.. I had to finish it!**

**I have to first thank all the readers who alerted and faved this crazy ass story! To all who reviewed THANK YOU! I read each one of them.. they made me smile and some made my day!**

**I wish I could thanks each and everyone of you here, but I can't but to a special few who I always looked forward to your reviews:**

**sholtsclaw, deedee, fanfichardcore, pixie cat and kitty, kimbo, , mariecurro, kristina and last but never least my wonderful P88! I fluv you all!**

**Soooo.. what up next for WVG now that TMC is done? *smiles* I am gonna try my hand at a drabble like fic and of course.. working on making He Shotts, She Scores into a full story! I will be back.. but I am gonna take some time to write...**

**CTM... girl... from the start you have been there... words alone can't tell what your support and help means to me... love you!**

**Ok.. give me one last review... please? Its all I want for Christmas!**


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